Remember you can deal with what you know. Sending strength x

Thank you xxxx

Oh lovely please dont ever feel guilty!! Our journeys may take different detours but we have all been through the ringer and have shared experiences we can all be there for each other with. No matter what our treatments look like, everyones unique and responses are so so valid. Im sorry to hear your struggling with nerve pain, it can be absolutely horrible, it may be worth looking into hydrotherapy! Its really gentle and great for nerves.

On the boob topic I wasnt sure how Id feel about it but Ive embraced my flat side and it doesnt bother me, being totally candid I never really noticed how small my bust was until having my mastectomy, even the size 1 softie is bigger than remaining righty real boob!! Xxx

Aww bless you, made me giggle about your boob lol. Glad you're in fine spirits too. Yeah responses are valid and it helps to talk it out. Nerve pain has been ok so far today. Hope it stays that way, doubt it lol xx

Hi lovely, good luck with the chemo. Seems we both have September birthdays, mine on Tuesday but can't be bothered lol. Got my appointment on 4th October so I'll let you know. Xx

Hello lovelies. 

Thought Id hop on and see how your all doing? Hope you all had a lovely weekend and doing well. 

Not sure about anyone else but my anxiety has been a mare these last few days. Before BC I ate a keto diet to help control my hormonal acne and moods, since being diagnosed Ive been eating oreos, cake, basically any carb that looks like it would temporarily cheer me up worked at the time but just started my menses and its the worst its been in months for my skin and anxiety my thoughts are just a bit rain cloudy right now! Praying I get along okay with Tamoxifen as all I hear are the stories around that. 
Thats my moan for today anyway, hope everyone is all okay but if your feeling fed up, anxious, angry, hormonal or a cocktail of them all please don't feel alone and if you need to chat Im here xxx

Hi Rambleon.  I think this whole journey is a rollercoaster. I haven't cried much during this journey but yesterday I had a full on meltdown whilst having my PICC line inserted before my first EC chemo. They couldn't get it in until the 4th attempt. I was in full panic mode! 

As a result I felt shocking yesterday. Today isn't so bad. 

What did you decide in terms of chemo? Did you speak to the oncologist? 

I was on tamoxifen between diagnosis smd surgery about a month and a half all in all. I didn't find it at all bad. The only side effect was being dehydrated. It actually stopped the night sweats I had been getting before hand. Hope that helps. Xx

Oh bless you, Im sending you a massive hug right now.
Is the PICC line insertion sore? How many chemo sessions are you having? 

ive decided to go for it, Im now waiting on meeting with the oncologist to see what they feel the next best steps are. Im scared but it felt like had I not gone for it Id be feeling like I should have and not felt like I did all I could. I am hoping Il be one of the 4months of chemo ones but I’ll go with what they feel is best. 
It really is such a rollercoaster isnt it, on the good days I feel brave and on the bad I almost feel like a scared kid. I have a sensitivity to hormones so although Im praying I get along with tamoxifen okay Im also a bit nervous about  it. Xxx

Don't worry the PICC line shouldn't be sore. They do give you local anaesthetic but they said my veins are really smaller so they kept hitting problems and nerves so it was sore for me. Hopefully though you won't have a problem. It's fine now expect the ends are long. 

I'm on 3 rounds of EC. So 1 infusion every 21 days and then 3 rounds of Docetaxel with the rounds every 21 days and then radiotherapy as I had a lumpectomy. 

Yeah I think the what ifs are the big issue. There's so much to consider. Mine is a no brainer at 15% benefit. Everyone at the chemo unit was brilliant and very friendly yesterday. It's very chilled. 

I have PCOS so my hormones are all over the place anyway  maybe that's why I got some benefit to tamoxifen - who knows. Xx 

Awe Im glad the atmosphere there is chilled, that in itself makes a huge difference. How long from your oncology meeting to starting chemo was it for you? I doubt we will end up in the same chemo month chats that are out there unless referral to starting treatment goes really quickly for me but keep me posted on how you get on lovely. Just messaging on here has made my anxiety a little less so thank you. 
Are you giving cold capping a go? Xxx

2 weeks and 1 day from the consultant meeting to starting.  I'm not doing any other chats. Just the Younger Women Together group from Breast Cancer Now. Which is also brilliant group support. They are all a bit further on that me so I've had a few hints and tips from them.

I decided against cold capping. I can't stand the cold and I have borderline Raynauds Syndrome and all the extra time and faff I didn't want to bother with. I just keep telling myself it's temporary. And especially with the outcomes I've heard of it was the right decision for me. Xx

Hi Rambleon88 RedRuth84  ladies, just reading your posts....I'm emotional this week, Friday when I get results from operation. I'm back at work, this is second week in....took me til now to catch up with everything! I'm dreading Friday, it is a roller coaster of emotions. Pain is much better today, amitriptolene from doctors helped so much...still taking it as its definitely helping me sleep to as I was struggling with that as well..  I'll let you know how I get on xx

Hi Rambleon88 RedRuth84  ladies, just reading your posts....I'm emotional this week, Friday when I get results from operation. I'm back at work, this is second week in....took me til now to catch up with everything! I'm dreading Friday, it is a roller coaster of emotions. Pain is much better today, amitriptolene from doctors helped so much...still taking it as its definitely helping me sleep to as I was struggling with that as well..  I'll let you know how I get on xx

Oh lovely Ive been thinking of you. 
Im so glad your in less pain and sleeping well, that will help you no-end. I just wish I could give you a hug because its a lot when waiting to get your surgical results. I found it was like a slightly less intense “Biopsy limbo” but still incredibly difficult. 
keep us posted, you arent alone xxx

Thank you hun, means a lot....same here so sending hugs back your way xxxxx

I really hope you get good news on Friday TM1  Do let us know how you get on.  I'm glad the pain is much better now. Being mostly pain free and being able to sleep is really important for healing but also psychologically. Im sure work is a struggle. There's no way I'd be able to do my job at the moment. Its too risky. It wouldnt be fair on me, my clients or my colleagues. So I really admire you going back to work so soon . Xx

Thank you so much, well I felt I had to go back after they put me on SSP and then the financial side of things takes its toll, it was too much to bear, so I went back last week in September and a day before my birthday. I didn't mention it was my birthday at work I just let the day go as I wasn't in the mood  if that makes sense, I felt like the new girl all over again....yes of course I'll let you know. You stay strong and same for Rambleon88 xx

Hope today went well lovely, been thinking of you xxx

Hi hun, aww thank you. Well all good, operation was a success and lymph nodes completely clear. Had a blood test so they can decide which tablet they'll give me for next 5 years, then I'll get a referral from the Christie for radiotherapy, so just to get through hun. Cried a lot, think it was happy and relieved tears. We went for a lovely lunch afterwards so been a nice afternoon since going to hospital. Hope you're OK to. Xxx

I'm so happy for you! That's really good news! Hopefully the radiotherapy will be booked in quickly and you'll be done with active hospital treatment really soon. Xxz

Im so so happy for you!!! Thats excellent news!! Im so glad your lymph nodes were clear too!  Sending massive digital hugs to you :-) xxxxxx 

Thank you both so much, couldn't have got through without talking to you both, hopefully I'll hear soon. I'm absolutely shattered, have a lovely weekend xxxx

Hi TM1,

This is great news. I'm sure that you feel really relieved that all was clear and now you can move on to the treatment stage. Happy tears are a big improvement on scared tears! I am so glad to hear that you had  a lovely lunch after your visit and that you enjoyed your afternoon since.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx