So I posted anonymously on a local woman's community page. I posted about my concerns and a lady who actually runs the clinic reached out. I messaged her and explained my concerns. She was really lovely. She kindly looked at my images from previous scan and basically said she can’t be 100% but she feels reassured by the images I have a fibroadenoma but to possibly expect a biopsy tomorrow as it common practise as I’m 32. I hope it turns out well girls  how is everyone? Xx

Hello lovely. Im so pleased this lovely lady has managed to give you some reassurance. Please take in her words and know that we are all here for you... You are stronger than you think and you can do this. Sending hugs xxx

Thank you danni. I’m so happy for you that today went well. The best news

 I’m just constantly crying. I don’t even think it’s just the breast issue I think I’m genuinely mentally unwell at the mo. I can’t get this fear of loosing my family out of my head. Mum had a text from her docs saying they saw a small polyp on her gallbladder that appears benign and will monitor in 6 months. Well my head is telling me what if it changes. Upon reading apparently 95% are benign but of course I’m thinking of the 5%. I’m also giving myself a hard time about being scared about my appointment when my mum was so strong when she was waiting for her breast clinic. I sound nuts I know I do but I feel scared all the time. There was a car crash recently and I had a panic thinking it was my sister and bombarded her with calls and she was absolutely fine. This fear is debilitating. I’m sorry to sound so miserable when you’ve had the most amazing news. Xxx

So sorry to hear how difficult it is at the moment. Have you ever spoken to anyone not work through it? I see a lovely psychotherapist and whilst I don’t pretend I’m cured (lol) it does help to off load. I mainly see her as I have adopted children who are very complex and I needed a space to get rid of some stress but we do talk about my health anxiety and ocd too. The intrusive thoughts you get sound like OCD, it might be worth getting a referral, I think you can refer yourself actually, to try and work through your fears around your family but it is very understandable with the stress from your mum. It sounds like from the other lady you spoke to that tomorrow will be positive. I really hope so xx

I’ve been referred to the community mental health now who are calling me on the 18th. Hopefully they will sort some therapy for me. Wow your superwoman! What an amazing thing you do adopting. I’m pleased your getting support to work through stuff.  I must say I agree I think I have ocd too. I’m forever finding something to fixate on and when that ends something else comes up. I get compulsive too with the checking with my health. I silently feel more reassured but the monster in my head can’t help it’s self. I’m sure all Well with your kidneys. It may be that your very anxious and this can cause all sorts of issues with psychical sensations. Are you eating and drinking properly? Xxx

I’ve been referred to the community mental health now who are calling me on the 18th. Hopefully they will sort some therapy for me. Wow your superwoman! What an amazing thing you do adopting. I’m pleased your getting support to work through stuff.  I must say I agree I think I have ocd too. I’m forever finding something to fixate on and when that ends something else comes up. I get compulsive too with the checking with my health. I silently feel more reassured but the monster in my head can’t help it’s self. I’m sure all Well with your kidneys. It may be that your very anxious and this can cause all sorts of issues with psychical sensations. Are you eating and drinking properly? Xxx

Fantastic I’m so pleased someone is calling you. OCD is an awful, frustrating condition; particularly with health concerns. With me I have so much stress and then a tiny thing tips me over the edge. My stress nearly always comes out in health issues or health worries. I do genuinely get lots of random things wrong with me but I think the stress causes a lot of them. Thanks lovely, I don’t feel like a super hero lol, it’s so so hard. So stressful. To be fair my therapist lady did say to me that with a cancer scare it’s completely understandable to be on Google and scared. She said just try to not catastrophise - so what do I do - exactly that lol. This chat we have going is keeping me sane. 
yes eating and drinking ok, I had Covid about three weeks ago and it started on day 1 with extreme thirst snd has never left me. Very strange! Hope you sleep tonight, just think this time tomorrow you will hopefully be in a better place xx

You are amazing please remember that. I know I don’t know you but I’m starting too and from the things you have discussed you sound incredible. I think your stronger than you know. Oh yes I love to catastrophise that words mentioned a fair few times years ago in cbt therapy. I always remember in my session the therapist saying when we have anxiety we see things in either black or white there’s no shade of grey in between. It’s so true isn’t it!  Your body may still be recovering from covid! It knocks you about. How’s your boobies? Do they feel less sore? Thank you for your positive thoughts on tomorrow. I hope and pray it’s all ok. I think they will biopsy by the sounds of it but hopefully I can get the jist of the problem which hopefully is as innocent as people have explained xx

Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate that :) 

Thats a good way of putting it with the anxiety. My husband is always saying to me you only see black or white and nothing in between. We can’t help it though, I think it’s just a personality trait! 

it’s weird as the boob is sometimes less red. Then back to red, the inside itch is horrible and sometimes the orange peel skin is there and other times not. It’s all very confusing.

The biopsy would be good I think so you know no stone has been left unturned so to speak. Will be thinking of you xx

That sounds reassuring that it’s not always present bubbles. Surely it would be constant if it were anything untoward. Yes your right about the biopsy, it’s just going to be a long wait again. But with my anxiety it may be the only thing to squash my boob concern. Thank you I will keep you updated. My hearts pounding thinking about it! Xx

Hello Nhj91,

I hope you managed some sleep last night .ill be thinking of you today and sending lots of luck and positive vibes. Soon you'll have more definitive answers! 

Sending love and hugs xxx

Ah unfortunately it’s always there just not as red, I can feel it and I’ve just realised it’s the same boob I had thickening in a year ago :( 

anyways! Good luck this morning sending you lots of luck and positivity xx

Hello ladies! I agree...i would be trying to think that if these boob symptoms were not consistent, that is it possible it isn't cancer? I would presume that with the orange peel and redness/ itching coming and going, that it wasn't?...it must be an awful game with your thoughts though, when the symptoms come and go like that!xxx

Good morning all! Hope you are all feeling more relaxed . I still don’t know what to do about this NHs appointment next week. I am going to have to call the GP again and ask for bloods for this constant dehydration. I can’t help but worry it’s all connected :(

Hey danni. How you doing? Did you speak to the GP? Did you make a decision on the nhs app? I would still keep it and it’s closer than the other one.xx

Morning! How are you? Do you feel more relaxed? I’m thinking the same, I think I have to go to the NHs one as it’s in a week. I’ve woken up in a bad headspace. The internal itch when I press on the boob or lean on it is giving me great concern. Need to keep my head out of the ICB route and try to stay sane for the week x