Hi most appointments are over the phone nowadays. 

I've been palliative care for a couple of years have monthly blood tests only time i see anyone. 

Results and what i have to do is over the phone. 

Alot of people aren't happy with way things are now, covid has a lot to answer for  .

Billy 

At the risk of sounding harsh, is there any evidence that she has had a cancer diagnosis? 
Drug addicts often have related mental health issues and can be known to make stories up for sympathy or as a diversion. 
 

Hi Tracy. 

It sounds like you are having a really tough time and I am sorry you are having concerns about your mother in law. 

I was diagnosed with DCIS (pre-invasive breast cancer) in February and all my appointments have been in person rather than over the phone. The only exception being when my surgeon had covid so rang me when she couldn't keep a face to face appointment. This doesn't mean that appointments can't be over the phone and I guess this will differ from hospital to hospital.

Probably not much help sorry! I hope you get the answers you need x

No, you're not sounding harsh, this is my feelings too but I have to tread carefully. I haven't seen any paperwork yet and don't trust her at all. I'm hoping this is my mind working overtime. I think she's expanding the truth a bit. She won't answer my texts etc and she knows I'm in palliative care and currently have a couple of ladies with breast cancer and nothing is adding up....

Thank you for replying and I understand how hard this is 

Is there anything I can ask to see if she's actually lying? Something important? I need to trip her up somehow. I'm hoping she isn't lying as that's disgusting but she's not answering my questions.

Clearly, your MIL has a lot of problems, but there are kinder ways to approach this than "out to get her" or wanting to "trip her up" perhaps, especially as you say you've already "stepped away". 

If you have concerns about the children, that is a separate issue from this cancer business unless, of course, you are saying that she is causing emotional abuse towards the children by saying this ...  

The reason for finding about more, I feel, would be if you had a desire to help. But, it sounds as if your mind is already firmly made up. 

Also, are you the person best placed to follow through on this within the family? 

Welcome to the Cancer Chat community Tracy.H although I'm sorry to hear about your mother in law and the concerns you have. This must be a very difficult position to be in.

As she is still struggling with her alcohol and drug use, I just wanted to share some resources that may be able to help. The first is alcoholics anonymous who help people with a drinking problem and the second is a page on the NHS website which has information and advice on getting help for a drug problem or addiction. 

I hope these prove to be useful and that your mother in law is able to get the help and support she needs at this time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator