My wife is about to go in for a lumpectomy at the end of the month. So will probably have this to deal with too. However, she is to keep the nipple from what she has been told.

I can't speak on behalf of any woman. But from my perspective, my wife isn't a pair of boobs. Aye, not gonna lie, I loved them prior to this, but I was never with her because of them. But what i happen to think doesn't diminish any mental hardship she may encounter afterwards.

You've went through a life altering event, and most people would struggle mentally. Guys struggle losing testicles because they feel an important part of what makes them a guy is lost forever, and they're hidden well outta the gaze of others. However, it is a small price worth paying. You have been given a second chance at life, it was why you endured all the treatment you did.

Both you and your husband will take time to adjust to the new "normal". My wife, she's not even had the op but i know we are different people to what we were before. It has mentally scarred us both. It isn't gonna be over when she gets discharged from the care of the cancer team.

Won't patronise you and tell you how wonderful things will be, and how grateful we should all be, patients and partners, because we all know we would all undo all of this and go back to our old selves of we could.

Hi Heyho

So sorry you feel that way about your breasts.  I had bilateral BC and have one breast smaller than the other, I wear 'comfort' bras from Asda and these minimize the difference between the two. I am four years since dx and surgery and I don't even think about my breasts anymore, my scars are a source of pride, and happy to show them off. 

It also took a couple of years for my breasts to settle down, probably due to radiotherapy.

Have you thought of getting a nipple tattoo? the 3D ones I have seen are impressive. 

Hopefully, over time you and your husband will adjust and your breasts will be of less relevance to you both. x

Hi I can understand about covering up certain body parts, but not forever .

My darling wife, before we met and were married was run over by a lorry, she had broken pelvis, crushed leg and broken fingers fingers were left alone as more important to save her life. (She has two fingers that don't move, more like claws ). She was a big long stomach scar . 

When i first met her she still wasn't walking right but very determined and a happy attitude nomatter what .i was sure she was the one for me, despite having three young boys, and just lost her husband to a factory accident a year before .  we started going out together and she neaded an operation on her leg to reshape and remove damaged mussels, about a year later she had gangrene of the bowel, caused by the accident but missed so another operation and scar ,  i didn't care i loved her nomatter what . We've been married over fifty years now , I've got cancer (palative care) and my wife has dementia and other problems .we are still happy together . Scars don't matter it the actual berson what counts .

Billy

@Billy what a beautiful story. 
@HeyHo I have had more than 50% of my breast removed and am down from an f cup to very tiny boobs --that the surgeon thinks will be  b cups --in comparison and also lost my nipple--I'm gonna have one tattooed on. It was so strange the first day after surgery I felt like I was totally flat like an oblong box. But as the compression bandages lose Ed and came off I could see shape. I still have dressings on, so it's early days and I am taking my time to get used to how I look now--with my tummy bigger than my boobs. I'm just looking at me a little and often and seeing that my boobs are smaller but survived and are still all me

i'm trying on different tops in the last few days and can see that in some I look fine and others I might not want to wear again as I am not sure of the changed looks. Every time o glance in a mirror I compliment my boobs for defeating cancer and not being chopped off and remind myself that I am so lucky to be here. I am slowly getting g used to them

Your husband might benefit from a bit of therapy--so he can sort out his feelings and fears and be a supportive partner to the whole you, you haven't changed, just your boobs

 You are enough exactly as you are. Different but beautiful ina  whole new way. He's lucky to have you. 

I had a reduction to remove breast duct problems going much smaller and my nipples are now very pale, large scars never bothered my husband as he said it's just the way it is and l love you. Just as well due to further breast operations and abdominal surgery recently,  that became more extensive than expected. Scars are growing! 
take care and try to keep positive 

susie