Hello from a new member of the family

Today I joined the army of people sitting around different waiting areas, carrying my belongings and my "gown" as we went through the various tests to find out if we had breast cancer. Some were, like me, totally new to the routine, others were at various stages in the journey and one lady was given the great news that she was still clear of her cancer five years since her treatment ended. 

I already suspected that my symptoms of strange lump, pain and puckering were caused by the big C, so I wasn't surprised when the lovely consultant showed me the first ultra sound scan with its big black area where there should have been breast tissue, saying it was pretty definitely cancer, and proceeded to tell me what would happen next. 

What did happen over the next two hours was quite unpleasant and painful and I now have a 12 day wait to find out exactly what we are looking at regarding type of cancer and treatment. Strangely enough I have no feelings of fear for the future, although twenty years ago I had a scare that saw me fearful and tearful, now I'm an old dear I'm just cheesed off that I will have quite a lot more unpleasantness to face. I'm one of those boring people who don't often get ill, so when I do I'm the patient from hell, or so my daughter tells me. I admit to being grumpy if I'm ill for more than two days. 

I have read a lot of the posts, here, during my wait to go for the tests, feeling like an outsider looking in, but now I'm in, too!   I suspect future posts from me will be less upbeat, but I would like to record my experiences here, and to share others' experiences, too.

  • Hi Karen,

    So, just to double check we are talking about the same procedure. I had what is called a Latissimus Dorsi Flap. This is where they flap a piece of tissue/muscle over from your back. I think most lobular breast cancer results in having to have a mastectomy. My surgeon specialised in the surgery I had so she didn't really give me a choice.  They did it at the same time as my breast surgery as it involves flapping a piece of muscle/tissue over from your back, into the breast. I did have radiotherapy but it didn't seem to affect it. It looks like a normal breast but not as rounded. My nipple is slightly pulled in too. My scar is pretty large as it is a major operation but I was very good at putting bio oil on, which has meant it has faded massively. 
    And like you - I didn't really think I was likely to die from my cancer at the time I was having treatment. But I found after everything had finished, then my brain started to process it and I did struggle for quite a few months as normality has changed.

    I think it would maybe depend if you have a surgeon who is confident at doing this type of surgery. I was warned that if they couldn't get my margins clear then I would need a mastectomy but to be honest, I wasn't worried about losing the breast. 
    x

     

  • Vee, I love the fact you are stalking really :laugh::wink:

  • Hi girls, our number is increasing, I see!

    i did write one of my usual long missives a couple of days ago, taking the best part of half an hour, or even more, then I tried to correct a typo, everything turned blue and when I tried to get it back to normal it disappeared and nothing I tried could get it back!

    This is an abridged version. 

    Welcome back Superwoman, I'm glad you are back with us, still live. Why were your legs so bruised? I know nothing of the surgery you've been through except what you have told us, which is very little, and I have been in awe of your retelling the stories with so much humour. 
    Caroline, I knew you would be able to give more information to Vee, than I could, and Sam can add to that. I see you have another follower needing your information and advice, I know you will be able to help her. 
     I'm also glad that you have come through your period of adjustment post treatment and sound very positive again. I bet your family are glad to have you back!  Is your niece still with you? How is she doing?

    Vee, reading your other posts I can see you belong to this group. You are treating your present situation with exactly the right amount of bloody mindedness and disrespect that the disease requires.  Good on yer! I hope things start moving come the 14th.  The waiting for action is the worst part of this condition.

    Hi Karen, hope you are getting all the info you need to help make your decisions about treatment.

    To the other ladies and lurkers :) all good wishes.

    Now I have a painting to get back to!

    lots of love,

    Christine xxx

     

  • Hello lovelies!!

    Christine - Ahh yes, and yep we are growing (loving the 'we' sound) steadily. I know I belong in this group, I just needed one of you to acknowledge it! My prayers have not gone unnoticed x

    Caroline - you won't need a restraining order, but you may just regret that stalking bit. I got me a shiny brand new set of BC buddies who all think the same. (sorry for making you sound like false teeth!). :laugh:

    Sam - Even though we will gradually return to our lives pre cancer days, I will always have time for you all my lovelies. You have answered some of my initial worries, but I still have a few things to ask, when I start my treatment. (you don't get off that easy). 

    Karen - I'm not sure how to approach things as yet, but I'm sure we will share a word or two about our experiences along the way. Although, the ladies here are exceptional and on point, so I probably won't bring anything new to the table. (I'm here for the beer really).

    Im only like this cos I've not started my treatment and not sure of how it will affect me, so I'm getting it "all out there" now. Treatment might just bring me down a few pegs eh? Who knows, it might, I say MIGHT make me worse than I freakin well am now! (Oh Lord help us do I hear?)

    Who needs an apple a day to keep the Dr away when I have the power of 3/4/5/6 and counting eh? 

    Serve yourselves right. That's what you get for being so nice and understanding :laugh:

    Anyhoo, take care lovelies x

    Big hugs and much love xxx :love:

    Vee (unleashed) x

  • Hi again Vee,

    Yep am still cancer free.  Just trying to get blood tests organised to see if I can stop one of the longer term treatments that I have (zolodex to dry up my ovaries)...will I officially have shrunken ovaries or not I wonder???

    You're the part of the bestest group on this site now you know!  Well done to you, pity its all down to us having blummin (andf I'd swear if I could) cancer!!

    I'm the sort of person who isn't generally afraid of anything ( well only of cleaning and hard work) but I did find, as I generally do, that information is POWER!!  I did all I could (within reason as you could drive yourself mad) to find out what I could from others who had gone through what I was due to do so, but also bore in mind that we are all individual and therefore react differently. What is is they say plan for the worst and expect the best? I remained optimistic throughout and therefore everything was fine...well, that's my logic anyway and I'm sticking with it, flawed though it may be.

    Being called nice and understanding is certainly a first for me, thanks (I think??).

    Sam x

  • Christine

    And that’s why I always draft my missives elsewhere on the iPad as it is SOOO frustrating when that happens…you learn the hard way though I often find.

    My operation included my thighs as I was having the good boob ‘filled in’ where they removed the non-invasive cancer…they do it via liposuction and as am now such an Olympian ( compared to how I was at the start of the cancer gubbins) there was only enough fat in my thunder thighs (the sensitive inner thigh area, of course!).  I’ve seen some cosmetic surgery shows where they show what they do to free the fat, its quite brutal!  Luckily I was kind to my plastic surgeon in that I made a valiant attempt to put on weight prior to the operation so he was also able to marmalise my upper stomach as well.  And I also had liposuction to reduce the frankenboob as it was a bit too large compared to the other.  Why anyone elects for plastic surgery cosmetically is beyond me.

    The day before Vee’s appointment I am hoping that (during my plastic surgeon meeting) that I will finally be free of my compression garments (I look like a Victorian lady about to bathe in the sea…they go from chest to knees…sexy!) and also my doughnut (circular pad with hole in middle which adorns my new nipple and makes sure that it doesn’t get squished early doors), needless to say it has no sprinkles on it or jam in it but is looking very well worn and mucky…its probably a health hazard by now to be fair.

    You will be amazed to know that I recommenced my cushion project (3 down and 4 work in progress) yesterday and they are 99% complete…its only been a three year project so far!  I got so tired of seeing my sewing kit out.  What are you painting nowadays? glad you’re still with easel.

     

    Sam X

     

  • WOW!!!

    Superwoman Sam,

    I was already impressed by the way you reacted to your chemo before surgery etc and now I am totally gobsmacked ( not a word I like, but the only one I can think of to express my amazement) at your ability to keep us smiling when you have been subjected to torture!  I have seen those tv programmes showing liposuction being inflicted on people - it's horrific! You must be looking like a model now!  It will be great once you are free of the compression garments and painful after effects of the torture!  I know I said it before, and I mean it even more now, I couldn't have gone through all that. My surgeon did try to talk me into it before he found my tumour was bigger than he expected and happily lopped off the whole boob. OMG  I am so glad!  I become unbearably grumpy if I feel unwell for more than three days! The patient from hell is my daughter's description of me. Do you remember how childish I was about taking the Letrozole because I didn't want any of the reported side effects? No wonder the oncologist stomped out of the room! I was surprised how uneasy I felt when I was told to stop taking the hormone killer for six weeks. I think I might have adjusted to taking them again now because I woke up to a dry bed today!  I hope that's it for the night sweats, I can cope with the hot flushes as they don't last long.

    I am struggling with a baby portrait at the moment, as a gift for my son's in-laws, she is only a few months old, and adorable but the reference I am using is quite poorly lit so I am not getting her eyes, yet. I will get there eventually and the recipients don't know I'm doing it, so there is no rush. The baby is their granddaughter, not mine, alas, and they have quite a hard time due to the grandfather being very poorly and now disabled.  My daughter has only seen the painting once, when I had just blocked out the outlines with no details and she calls it the egg with a Mohican! 

    I need to go now and take my boy out as he's giving me pleading looks. I should have cats!

    Well done for your tenacity with the cushions! 
     

    Christine xxx

  • God Sam! Sounds pretty horrendous but surely you will be left with the body of a super model?!:wink:

    I can imagine that the compression bandages / body suit are not the most comfortable! I have a "fold in your body fat" vest and I struggle wearing that!

    My youngest son passed his driving test today! Second attempt and involved me having to skive off work to take hIm to Winchester. My niece is also learning to drive at the mo and has bought herself a little old polo. I have to say she scares the bejesus out of me when she drives!! I have a new found respect for driving instructors. I went back to the gym yesterday after finding excuses for the past 3 weeks. Boy was it hard work!!

    Christine I have every faith that you will perfect the portrait - we know how much of a perfectionist you are! I'm a very impatient person so any hobby that requires you to take your time and takes a long time, I'm useless!! One of my friends bought me a starter knitting set. I had a go, managed to give it about 30 min then gave up. I used to do a lot of cross stitching in my younger years but my eye sight is so pants now that it isn't even appealing. 
     

    caroline xx

     

  • Er hello Christine & Caroline, I looked like a model before I'll have you know (yeah right, you're right to ask 'a model of what?'), I do however always tell people that if I had even a sliver of being photogenic that I would, of course, have been a super model back in the day....an accountant was only just behind this option, of course...

    Yeah the reconstruction palaver is not for everyone, very doable and I'd definitely do it again but if you're not a fan of surgery, being pummelled within an inch of your life and time in recovery I'd advise maybe not.

    Good news on the dry bed Christine! Mine is hit (or hot as I originally typed...quite possibly more appropriate?) and miss.  I get tested soon (blood test) to see if am post menopausal, presumably I can't yet be if still having mad sweats?

    Just as well your daughter isn't an art critic Christine...I remember on a previous portrait that you weren't at all confident on the eyes but they all came together at the end, another case of that maybe?  And I get tonnes of pleading looks from the furry critters I share my house with although its definitely food rather than exercise related, lazy bl00dy good-for-nothing animals!

    Am today finally free of the nipple donut and the compression pants (which feel like a tree must when they grow around barbed wire around my waist where they gather, I may have been a bit optimistic about the size I bought...)....HURRAH!

     

    Good news on the driving Caroline, hopefully less reliance on you as a taxi service?  Well done getting back to the gym, I was back after 5 weeks absence last week and its amazing how your body can't do what it did before (and how much my bum ached on the bike ride too!)....but well worth it.  I hear about muscle memory, think my muscles must have dementia.

    Do you think your eyesight worsened post cancer treatments? I'm sure mine did Caroline, I use reading glasses and before cancer was a 1 and am now a 2.5, my father (an optician) tells me that's quite a jump in a couple of years.

    Right, time I did some work!

    Tara X

  • Sam, you do make me laugh!

    In regards to the blood test to check for menopause status - did your GP order that? I'd be interested to know where I stand in that respect. Although you hear how awful letrozol is, I think I'd rather stick with my tamoxifen. My poor hubby has to cope with freezing temperatures and windows open, in the bedroom! Advantages are he tends to stay on his side of the bed as my side is like a furness :silly::laugh:

    I do think my eye sight has gotten worse too! I've got an appointment next week at the opticians. I decided to give multi focal contacts a go but the ones they gave me weren't even as strong as my glasses so useless! I bought myself some 2.5 reading glasses - they are perfect! 

    Good to hear you are starting to ditch the restrictive clothing/donut nipple ring! Maybe use the nipple donut to sit on, on the bike as the gym or is it a bit too small :wink:

    I've canned the running - found it aggravated my neck pain so have been walking fast/on an incline. I've signed up for a breast cancer 10 mile walk, in May so need to get practising! My friend told me, the other day that she is doing dry January, couch to 5k and the 16:8 fasting diet! I've told her I'm hoping my half a stone just falls off and I'll see her in February! 
    Anyway, ladies - Friday is my day off, I have a large glass of wine in my hand and am meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow (walking so I can get some miles in and have a drink :wink: Hope you all have a lovely weekend! No January blues for me! 
    Caroline xx