Hi

i had a similar visit 5 days ago, except I've never been through this before, I'm still waiting on CT as my lymph nodes were also affected 

I don't know how I'm meant to feel, I just feel like I need all the results now and the wait is excruciating 

I have a 3 week wait for CT due to coronavirus although I am on an emergency cancellation list

i would welcome any advice at all on how best to deal with this, I'm 43 and have 3 young children 

xxx

Hi AMil,

I am sorry to hear you are joining the club no one wants to join!! I think my advice would be to always try and remain positive. Medicine has moved on so much that breast cancer has a really high survival rate - in the 90%'s. Talk to people - friends/family or even us. I found that people who had been through/were going through BC had a better understanding of what I was going through but my friends and family were still amazing. Try and keep busy, between appointments. Waiting for scans/results is definitely one of the hardest parts!!! 
Remember, this is just a 'blip' The 3 of us all had very different journeys but we were there to talk about it and share worries and advice. Happy to do the same for you.

Caroline

Hi both,
Just catching up on comms as have just been on my jollies...a week back in the motherland...ooo it was soooper great.  Haven't been up there since November, far too long ago.  Saw all my northern pals & parents - not bad for a week, absolutely knackering but well worth it.  Did some National trust gardens, ate lots (did I tell you my middle name was glutton?), walked 15 miles on one day (I was more tired than my pals little dog) at Bridlington (fish & chips helped restore energy levels).  Just what I needed.
We did have an interesting "scare" that the pal I was with on day 2 got tested as she was going to visit elderly relatives and tested positive! Don't care about having it but do care if it puts paid to my plans of the rest of my Yorkshire holiday...anyway got tested with the pal I was with (as did a few others that she'd been in touch with) and everyone else is negative (so glad).  Odd that she's the only positive out of 10 tested and she only had a headache as a possible symptom, but its not like you can question the result.
Anyway if you fancy an interesting experience get yourself tested!  Very odd but a bit like having the chemo to round off my cancer experience and glad I'm getting more of the CV experience, I'll stop short of a hospital visit though thank you.
And am loving the CV impacted M25 & M1, best journeys I've had up north for over 15 years! I think the M62 was actually worse than the M25...bonkers.  So got back down south last night...boo!  Cats enjoyed their "spa" visit while I enjoyed not bad weather up north (not too much of the wet stuff amazingly).

Caroline
Really glad you got your concerns listened to...its doesn't happen enough from messages I've seen from many others, not at all good for physical & mental health, especially with all the other nonsense that's going on.
I do wonder at what point (and its a question for my 1st follow up mid Sept) they test to determine you're post menopausal as I'm sure I won't be getting the ovary killing monthly zolodex injection thingys forever....will see what they say.
I'm with you re the hormone tablets, am lucky that the current brand gives very few side effects but if it did, and despite the 15% improvement in survival rates over 15 yrs, I'd ditch them no problem...quality of life tip top priority for me.  And not being able to sleep would only just beat (in terms of the worst things that could happen to me physically) problems with feet....I do think that interrupted  sleep is a justifiable defence for murder (if you had noisy neighbours for example) so get your pain re not being able to get a good nights kip, glad its got better and hope it improves even more.
Ooo a motor home, I suspect that wasn't as cheap as it would have been had we not got this bl00dy lurgi eh?  My father used to have one and used to clear off (by himself - my family are such a sociable bunch) to Morocco, Norway and many other places, far better than a caravan in my opinion and you'll be getting out & about.  Where are you planning to go?  I heartily recommend Northumberland, bit of a trek from you but soooo beautiful, with obviously a stop off in Yorkshire (goes without saying).  The 2nd mother (my father is working in no. 3 currently!) has a campervan with boyfriend but did have a holiday in Anglesey cancelled as the toilet block couldn't cope with social distancing - odd but be warned.

Christine
Hiyaaaa right back at ya!  Yeah, my letrozole pains were predominately morning based, I guess its as bodies haven't been used overnight?
Good lord a "risk stratified pathway" sounds very Orwellian...nice!  Think I'll be taking another path if its all the same with the NHS....bridlepath most suits.
I presume that its a breast cancer nurse doing these 6 monthly follow up calls?  It just doesn't sound like they have any power or authority to make any decisions or take any decisive action...lots of platitudes not at all helpful...and actually have a negative impact.
Had to laugh at the "understanding that you'll stop reading where you get bored" part...never! The only thing I've ever stopped reading was Jane Austen's Persuasion, persevered to page 24 before admitting defeat...the classics just don't have enough serial killers in for my liking, will stick with more modern rubbish for my reading material.
Fancy leaving the car lights on!  Had a boyfriend that did that on the last leg of European car trip in Amsterdam, good excuse to stay on and sample more delights of that fair city.
My mother has an electric car and as it was sat in the drive doing nowt during lockdown got drained...and as there was no power she couldn't get in it!  The AA man showed that there was a way round this involving a special handshake and some incantations so she's good next time.
So its speedy Christine now eh?  You renegade.  And no doubt you'll be doing your speed awareness course by zoom or whatever ( I know lots of speeders!) which is daft, if you don't do video (not sure whether they can "make" you do this) how do they know you're actually there?  Archie could do it for you...Like Caroline when I last got done for speeding (bl00dy M25) I did it in style and was too fast for the awareness course (typical!).

So has the laser/massage helped your lymphodema?  And is your knee now turbo charged?  Hope both are behaving....

So hair is looking sooo much better, rather than being salt & pepper grey its now sort of silvery/ash grey, I no longer resemble my (years since dead) 95 yr old grandmother.  I have a £5 bet with my hairdresser who think the chemo curls are permanent (I give them 18 months), it was very funny as we were chatting about what had changed re chemo and he commented that my boobs were bigger - had to tell him a) there's only the one and b) was wearing a bigger/sturdier bra as comfy!  He is now focussed on what they'll look like post reconstruction!!  We luckily do have a good relationship. 
My first week back at work ( back 1 week then on my holiday!) was ok but knackering and am only doing 4 days/3 hours a day, am taking it VERY easy...and still finding time to get out on the bike and do my 3 times a day arm exercises (had a week off last week).
Next week quite busy as have monthly zolodex thingy and first mammogram (in the gynae unit which seems odd)...so very exciting!
Its funny that all my pals are really surprised at how well I look, people do expect cancer sufferers to be wizened, emaciated and generally ill looking I think...even if they're free of the demon!  My father (who saw me in Nov during chemo) still thinks I'm a fake..ha! Mind you I am a million times healthier than I was in July 2019 when diagnosed, eating healthily & doing exercise has done me well...and shifted 5 stone! I have however over the course of my life lost more than my body weight, am a real Oprah type in that respect....did I mention I am naturally a glutton?
So after my hectic week I have a sore throat, the (hypochondriac) boyfriend is convinced I have CV so a very quiet weekend will ensue ...and he gets to do my shopping chores...great!

Glad you're both well and long may it last!

X

Hi Sam,

so lovely to hear all the stuff you have been up to!! Firstly, well done on getting back into work. Glad it's all going well and you are doing it slowly. 
Sounds like your trip up norf was eventful but fun!! I had to do a CV test a few weeks ago, as was asked by the Covid app, if I would do one, as a volunteer. I opted to do it myself - really not a pleasant experience! Hopefully it was a true negative and you aren't coming down with the lurgy. 
Our motor home is now all kitted out and hubby is raring to take it on a test run, so we have managed to get booked into a camp site in the cotswolds, next weekend, for a couple of nights. Luckily it has a shower and toilet so shouldn't be a problem if shower blocks are closed. No plans yet about taking it up to the lovely North, but I'm sure we will go up there in time.

I can't believe you have lost 5 stone!! What an amazing achievement!! Well done!! I've got a couple of sessions booked in at the gym next week!! Feeling quite excited!! 

Still not taking my meds and my sleep is soooo much better!!! Still got a few aches and pains and do still feel tired but not as exhausted. I know I need to start back on it but for the moment I'm enjoying some normality.

Well, off to get on with my Sunday duties. Take care ladies xx

Hi Sam,

I was just thinking it had been a while since we had heard from you, then I remembered you were going on holiday, then lo and behold you were back!

I'm glad you had a good time and the weather was kind to you. I wish I could say the same for this side of the Pennines, we seem to get every bit of rain coming in from the West. When they do the visuals during the weather forecast on BBC1 there always seems to be a blue blot over my part of the world. We get the odd beautiful day that keeps us from suicidal thoughts, but then you have to rush to get in all the gardening that needs doing before the rain starts again. I am very much a fair weather gardener.  It is outdoor housework to me, keeping what's there tidy, no interest in planting more stuff to grow wild!

I would just like to explain that the morning when I left my lights on was a very grey drizzly day with poor visibility, hence lights on and missing the police car under the motorway bridge aiming its speed camera at me.  However, it was only my second foray into the world post lockdown, so, being a very obedient and probably vulnerable to Covid person I was wearing a face covering to go into the shops. Said face covering was attached by elastic round my ears.  I am telling you now, for future reference, that glasses and hearing aids plus elastic round the ears is not an easy wear, as I'm not well endowed in that area. I decided, as I needed the glasses to see to drive, to leave the hearing aids at home, so....when I turned off my engine, I didn't hear the beep to remind me to turn off the lights, and as it was daylight, well, supposed to be, I didn't see the beam from them hitting anything within my vision.  That's my defence, your 'onour! 

I think the phrase "open access follow up" is probably just a more friendly sounding title for the "risk stratified pathway" they are selling up here. They are brutal Northerners up here, after all. It was a breast cancer nurse, and, as you so rightly put it, all she could offer were platitudes. My laser treatment has finished now. I have an appointment for three months time, which will be after my next mammogram.  It does feel to have softened the ridge above my scar which was quite hard. The baby boob seems to have changed shape a little, too, less protruding. Of course I now have yet another exercise to do in the morning before I can start my day. I know none of them are aerobic, but they do bring me out in a sweat so I can't even get a shower until they are all done.  The knee exercises are keeping me mobile, thank goodness. I am starting to get twinges of pain in both the knees, occasionally, as the injections wear off, but nothing like before and I've started taking a pain killer as I go to bed so I haven't been awakened with the pain recently. In fact when I went for a walk with my daughter and the dogs the other day she told me to stop racing, so I must be back to walking normally, as I've always been told to slow down when walking with other people - I blame my long legs!

I think you will be keeping your curls, everyone I know whose regrowth came back curly has kept them. Strangely enough, my sister's came back straight, but was a result of having her head shaved for her brain tumour surgery, rather than the chemo which didn't cause her to lose any hair. Your relationship with your hairdresser sounds as though he fancies you or he's gay. I suspect the latter in view of his career but I may be wrong and he's *** after you and your new silhouette!
In view of the latest government guide lines on COVID-19 your losing 5 stone will guarantee that even if you get it, you will only have a mild version.  My half stone that I lost when I first started taking the Letrozole came back with my appetite after a few weeks, and has stayed and possibly increased, since then. I have decided that as a crumbly who's already had cancer my quality of life demands being able to eat what I want and as I'm still wearing the same size clothes for the last ten years I am quite happy the way I am. I spent several decades fighting the weight battle, but no more! What's a couple of stones overweight anyway? 

Have a good week, Zolodex etc., permitting xxx

Dear All

Christine picked me up and saved my despair from a post that just said "scared of everything"

Grade 2, stage 2b ILC with one Axilla LN. ER8 PR8 Her2 neg. I'm 53, a bit overweight but a motorbike riding, scuba diving,sax playing midwifery sister so am in ok health mostly.

just started zoladex (hubby gave the injection on friday) and tamoxifen. I'm scared of the side effects but am going to get out and do some exercise and start living a bit. Live in Cornwall and boy is it full down here ATM.

I have one massive boob and one that I think belongs to a 20 year old. Apparently she will fix the other one next year. Covid permitting.

so, so good to read your chats and realise that there is hope.

Jen 

Hi Jen,

Lovely to hear from you. These 2 lovely ladies kept me sane during my cancer journey, last summer. We all have Northern roots, a sense of humour and each other, and that has proven to be invaluable. So Hello from our little family. I also had lobular bc, stage 2, grade 2. Wide exertion with a flap from my underarm/back used for reconstruction. Oestrogen and progesterone 8/8. No chemo but had 15 sessions of RT and tamoxifen. Good to hear you are "surviving". I'm off down to Cornwall in a couple of weeks!!

Caroline x
 

Hi Jen

Ah the wise words of Christine - as you can read that's not my forte...

Your diagnosis not a million miles away from mine though I'm team letrozole.

Used to have a motorbike, loved it but kept forgetting to steer so had a few close shaves with cars! In the end swapped it for a rug...far safer with me on it. Also have memories of losing balance at petrol station and being pinned under it and feeling like an upturned tortoise, surprisingly it took quite a while & few words before anyone came to my rescue.

I have my next zolodex weds, you're the first I've come across who is (sort of) self administering, I actually enjoy the trip out to the hospital to have the lovely nurses stab me...am usually there for quite a while having a good chin wag.

It took cancer to get me exercising (again, we're like old pals that sometimes go for a while without acknowledging one another!) and am loving it - cycling is my speciality, I'm a right dawdler, love interrogating people (especially those with binoculars), talking to dogs and saving the wildlife (caterpillars and stag Beatles my speciality)...so a 10 mile bike ride can actually take most of the day!  But being osteopenic and having the letrozole try & destroy my bones try and get out walking too.

Intrigued as to how you gained a 20 yr olds boob....ha!

Welcome!

Sam

Hi Jen,

Well it looks like you are one of the family now. The rules are you use us to sound off when you're feeling scared/angry/fed up and you tell us how you are getting on. In return we will continue to keep each other going. If you plough through this thread you will find out how similar yet different your own experiences will be and, hopefully, it will make your journey a bit easier. Sam has had a harder time of it than Caroline or me, and I've had it easiest of all, but you will never hear a word of self pity from either of them. You might from me, I'm claiming old age as my excuse for acting like a two year old sometimes and sounding off. Bl**dy speeding tickets Grrr!
You are the same age as my daughter and my cancer has been harder for her than for me. I think it gets easier to deal with life's nastier surprises as you get older, except for speeding tickets, that is. 
I forgot to say, the other rule is you can just pop in as you wish. There is no rule demanding continuous communication, we will enjoy hearing from you whenever.

Christine xxx

Hello all, hope you're keeping cool...

By heck its warm down here!  As I drove back from Yorks yesterday I saw the temp rise from 24 to 36.5...I just thank the Lord for aircon in my car.  Again, a very good CV19 impacted journey - I'm generally loving the roads (apart from Fridays when families on holidays make them pants once again!).

So I had another soooper jolly, so grateful to be in a cooler country during the past few days (my neighbours looking after my plants were watering them every 5 mins by the sound of things). Loved seeing the kelpies en route to Stirling & Dunblane and did some quality shopping in Glasgow (propensity to buy only limited by duff righty arm and ability to carry very much)...finished the night in a classy style 10pm pizza on train back to Edinburgh, stopped short of the offered deep fried pizza and accompanying mars bar - want my arteries to still allow blood flow.  It helped absorb the 3 bottles of fizz we had lunch and evening (helping those poor champagne producers with their excess stocks).

So the appointments are coming thick and fast this month, I have seroma ultrasound tomorrow as surgeon had a go at aspirating naughty seroma but couldn't locate the fluid (nice!) and have initial consultation with plastic surgeon on 27th so will hopefully have an idea of timescales then (hopefully not too long but am managing my expectations). 

My new boob did enjoy being stuffed full on my jollies, one night had haggis for starter & main course - bl00dy love haggis!!

Christine - how's your laser treatment on your lymphodema going?

I was glad to see that Edinburgh isn't a ghost town as London is nowadays, there were quite a few tourists and quite a lot doing walking tours, Glasgow centre was really busy.  The Scots however are pants at social distancing, think its their friendliness that prevents whereas for those down here they're used to being socially distanced!

That said my lovely neighbour gave me some beets, new potatoes and pickled onions from his allotment so am having potato salad for lunch today - yummy!! He knows full well that as a tight northerner I will always accept his over-stocks.

So off on bike ride this aft (too hot now), during which it will hopefully pour down (lovely!) but hopefully won't be struck by any lightning, even if I am its not like my hair could get any worse! It is growing sooo fast and is now like pre 1st-post-lockdown haircut, need it a lot shorter.  3 wks till next appointment (not good). How's your home cutting going Christine?

Caroline I've been meaning to ask (but am useless as have no memory) how's your son, is he back home yet?  Hope all is now resolved?

So all is very good here, hope you're both the same.

X

Hi Sam and Christine, 

Lovely to hear from you! Am currently in not sunny Cornwall, on our motorhome holiday road trip!! Left hot and sunny Hampshire on Friday last week. Spent 2 nights in Wareham and the day in Swanage. Then drove to Brean Sands. Another lovely and hot site. Came to Portreath on Tuesday to mist and fog. Yesterday was a miserable foggy day so was very jealous of all my friends telling me how hot and sunny it was at home! Sunshining today but only weakly. Tomorrow we head off to West Bay for the last 2 nights so hoping for an improvement!! 
My oldest son came back home in June - following an incident with girl friends neighbours involving a bit of road rage. He was very frightened and was happy for his dad to pick him up so that does seem to have resolved but he has soon slipped back into arrogant ways. 
Appointment wise - very quiet! Next appointment on the 7th Oct. it's to see the consultant so not sure if the mammogram will be the same day or before then.

Hope you are both managing ok with the heat - come to Cornwall - a lot cooler! Xx

Hi girls,

I would be sorry for you having miserable weather in Cornwall , Caroline, if I wasn't melting in front of a fan waiting for the heat to break.  Poor Archie can't understand why I won't take him for a walk, doesn't realise his feet would burn! 
Sam, I've just checked the weather "darn sarf" and it says thunder and lightening
 so I'll stop complaining about the heat. My daughter has air con in her house as well as her car. I just have it in the car. If it gets unbearable I can pop round to hers.

Re. the laser treatment, I had four sessions and go back in a few weeks for follow up. The seroma has flattened somewhat, but there are still thick areas of scar tissue that are tethered to the chest wall and we are trying to get them to move so the fluid will have somewhere to go.  Don't get your hopes up about the ultrasound guided seroma draining, all my doctor got was blood, despite being guided.  
I'm envious of you being in Edinburgh, my favourite city in the world and I usually get up there for the fringe. Glasgow is having quite a high Covid count at the moment so I don't think I would be visiting.  Every borough surrounding us has been going into further lockdown measures because of the Covid count but we seem to have quite a low count, for now.  I suspect it will change in the future, the virus seems to be running rings round the scientists. 
Is your arm still so bad that you can't carry things?  Mine still feels like it has a tight strap around the shoulder and underarm but it isn't painful and I have had full movement from the start.  I wouldn't be able to keep up with the hair cutting otherwise, there is a lot of stretching and twisting involved in that, I hold the hair in my left hand and my scissors in the other. It's at a very short but not scalped looking length at the moment, as I went to town on it a couple of weeks ago. As soon as I look in the mirror again and think it looks nice it will scream "Cut me" again.

I am supposed to have a mammogram in September but haven't been given a date yet, so it could end up not happening, so my only appointment is the 17th at the lymphoedema clinic, but who knows what will be happening so far away. If the kids going back to school doesn't cause a huge spike it should be fine. 
I hope the weather settles for the rest of your holiday, Caroline. From the happy position of having children older than yours, or even older than you, I can say hang in there. The older they get the more human they become!  Then when you are a grandma you can get your own back and spoil their kids rotten and leave the parenting to them. I was waiting for that for thirty years, but alas, we went from me being their parent to them becoming mine! Ah well!  
I had a lovely day two weeks ago when my son paid a flying visit. I hadn't seen him since January, and after spending so much time together in the few months before then I was really missing him.  My daughter came to the pub with us and we had a lovely catch up and a meal I didn't have to cook, myself, in the beer garden. It felt so normal, it was lovely!  
The next day, I broke my glasses, got an appointment to get them mended at the opticians, then fell flat on my face in the car park in my hurry to keep it. Cost me £40 to fix the specs and am still sore from the bruised ribs. C'est la vie!  Payback's a female dog!!! I haven't been out since!!
Tomorrow I am taking my speed awareness course via Zoom. I hate Zoom, so I hope it works ok. It cost less than the fine and no points so it's worth doing. 
Take care, 

Christine xxx

Hi girls,

I would be sorry for you having miserable weather in Cornwall , Caroline, if I wasn't melting in front of a fan waiting for the heat to break.  Poor Archie can't understand why I won't take him for a walk, doesn't realise his feet would burn! 
Sam, I've just checked the weather "darn sarf" and it says thunder and lightening
 so I'll stop complaining about the heat. My daughter has air con in her house as well as her car. I just have it in the car. If it gets unbearable I can pop round to hers.

Re. the laser treatment, I had four sessions and go back in a few weeks for follow up. The seroma has flattened somewhat, but there are still thick areas of scar tissue that are tethered to the chest wall and we are trying to get them to move so the fluid will have somewhere to go.  Don't get your hopes up about the ultrasound guided seroma draining, all my doctor got was blood, despite being guided.  
I'm envious of you being in Edinburgh, my favourite city in the world and I usually get up there for the fringe. Glasgow is having quite a high Covid count at the moment so I don't think I would be visiting.  Every borough surrounding us has been going into further lockdown measures because of the Covid count but we seem to have quite a low count, for now.  I suspect it will change in the future, the virus seems to be running rings round the scientists. 
Is your arm still so bad that you can't carry things?  Mine still feels like it has a tight strap around the shoulder and underarm but it isn't painful and I have had full movement from the start.  I wouldn't be able to keep up with the hair cutting otherwise, there is a lot of stretching and twisting involved in that, I hold the hair in my left hand and my scissors in the other. It's at a very short but not scalped looking length at the moment, as I went to town on it a couple of weeks ago. As soon as I look in the mirror again and think it looks nice it will scream "Cut me" again.

I am supposed to have a mammogram in September but haven't been given a date yet, so it could end up not happening, so my only appointment is the 17th at the lymphoedema clinic, but who knows what will be happening so far away. If the kids going back to school doesn't cause a huge spike it should be fine. 
I hope the weather settles for the rest of your holiday, Caroline. From the happy position of having children older than yours, or even older than you, I can say hang in there. The older they get the more human they become!  Then when you are a grandma you can get your own back and spoil their kids rotten and leave the parenting to them. I was waiting for that for thirty years, but alas, we went from me being their parent to them becoming mine! Ah well!  
I had a lovely day two weeks ago when my son paid a flying visit. I hadn't seen him since January, and after spending so much time together in the few months before then I was really missing him.  My daughter came to the pub with us and we had a lovely catch up and a meal I didn't have to cook, myself, in the beer garden. It felt so normal, it was lovely!  
The next day, I broke my glasses, got an appointment to get them mended at the opticians, then fell flat on my face in the car park in my hurry to keep it. Cost me £40 to fix the specs and am still sore from the bruised ribs. C'est la vie!  Payback's a female dog!!! I haven't been out since!!
Tomorrow I am taking my speed awareness course via Zoom. I hate Zoom, so I hope it works ok. It cost less than the fine and no points so it's worth doing. 
Take care, 

Christine xxx

Hi ladies

Having a very exciting week here.  It started with a voicemail asking me to call re a 9am appointment on Tues...that I knew nothing about and when I tried phone number left didn't work!  Spent quite a while honing my sleuth abilities and after about 10 calls finally gathered it was re the trial that I'm supposed to be part of (tenacity one of my key strengths, that and eating) that I had been chasing onc about.  Great I thought, I'm on the trial, onc had told me they'd sped up recruitment re CV19 but obviously felt guilty that I'd slipped through the net.  Then 30 mins later got a call from onc that I'm excluded as have crohns so there's a risk I won't digest the tablet they are trialling!!!  So near yet so far...ah well.

I have now passed the cancer crown to my father who found out he's got a tumour on his kidney which has spread to adrenal gland, he's fine about it as am I - we're both stoical northerners! He had his op on Tues, there was a risk he could have a stroke (he's had a few) during it but all went well.  So have been having fun with the whatsapp group of him, my sister, his partner keeping all entertained (another key strength...not many agree).  He's having a blood transfusion today as a bit weak but did manage a stagger out of bed.  I have been trying to speak to him (as he's obviously not allowed any visitors in these annoying times) but he's been ignoring me so had to resort to calling the ward and asking the lovely sister who answered the phone to threaten him with removal of other kidney...worked a treat, actually talking to me may be why he needs the transfusion??!!  Not sure yet when he'll be let out and if he'll need quarantining as immune system compromised but will be seeing him when I can (another trip up north...happy days).

Had initial consultation for DIEP reconstruction Thurs and thinking so far is that it can be done early Dec...so happy...mainly that am going it won't be impacted by any CV19 winter phase 2 as relatively early winter (tho' am still crossing fingers on that one).  I am sooo lucky to have private insurance through work.  So will be going full time at work shortly and then off again for this op in a few months! It takes a lot of time and energy this cancer lark doesn't it?

And finally had seroma looked at, following surgeons inability to aspirate had an ultrasound and turns out its just a load of bl00dy lard!  It's know as a 'lateral dog ear' - nice eh? Always wanted a dog but just part under my arm is not what I had in mind.  It will be sorted during reconstruction.  Have noticed that arm is less annoying as time goes by and exercise really helps, have even started lifting (very light) weights at the gym...get me!

Oh yeah and finally got results of annual mammo...had to chase with OAFU, left them a voicemail after 3 wks and no response so assumed all was well.  When chasing trial appointment spoke to BCN and asked her about mammo results, she told me that OAFU had passed the query to them and they hadn't got around to calling me! Again impressive.  So I only found out officially all clear three and half weeks after mammo...lucky to be someone who doesn't worry about such things and feel for those who aren't like me.

Otherwise all good, been getting out & about (and lost) on the bike, visit the gym too, in fact all I seem to do is work, eat, sleep & exercise...could be a worse mix I guess.

Its my birthday celebrations this weekend so am having a yummy curry cooked by the boyfriend Sat night & off out to this really interesting open air museum near me Sunday (Weald and downs museum - have a look, its amazing!) complete with picnic then round for BBQ at pals Sunday night...so a weekend of gluttony..yay!

Just going to finish by telling you that yesterday evening on way back from gym (cycling) I was the wettest I have ever been in my life...my socks contained not only prune-like feet but also a couple of puddles and the cycle path is at the side of a road so whenever a car went past I was engulfed by waves of surface water.  Now I like rain but when you can't see where you're going as there's too much water in your eyes it gets 'interesting'.  Things are still drying out and could take a while...what fun!!!

Caroline - glad you had a good holiday in Cornwall, love a road trip (not sure if other road users agree).  And good that your son has realised where his bread is buttered!  I always recall post uni assuming I was going to move back home and my mother making quite clear that was not an option!  Thanks Mum...ended up living in a back-to-back (with outside toilet blocks still in situ) terrace in Armley, near the famous Leeds jail, no central heating, 'interesting' neighbours...it was the making of me..

Christine -did the laser treatment work then?  Do hope so. My ultrasound showed that the many lumps & bumps I now have near armpit are also scar tissue ( I have no idea what's going on down there so generally just ignore it...always a good policy!) I am still avoiding lifting heavy things like bags of compost but otherwise its as normal so think we're ok arm-wise, plastic surgeon tells me that DIEP will improve arm pain and reduce risk of lymphodema (he did explain why but it passed me by) which is another plus point. 

Have you got appointment for mammo yet?  Hope you've managed to get out and have fun a few more times despite your face planting the pavement (!!) and good you're seeing wider family too.  I tried to arrange lunch date with my mother who told me that August was out due to the cricket...nice to know where I stand in terms of priorities (1. Cats, 2. cricket, 3. Children?).  Are you now chokka full of knowledge from the Highway Code? Did you pass and are now not a menace to society behind the wheel?  I do actually hear ( as I know quite a few speedster rogues) that they are quite interesting and informative so hopefully the same for you.

Hope all is super good with both of you and you're having nearly as much fun as me!

Sam X
 

Firstly - Happy Birthday Sam!! Glad to hear you have got celebrations planned!!! Hope you get thoroughly spoilt!

Good to hear that your op is in the diary!  And that you are doing well.

Its my 50th in October but have had to cancel/postpone lots of things we had planned. Gutted but can't be helped. 

I got my mammogram appointment through for the 18th September. Then have to wait until the 7th October for my appointment with the consultant, where I expect she will give me the results of the mammogram. I'm not overly worried as feel it's unlikely to have come back in that short amount of time. 
My news is that we are getting a puppy!! We are getting a little grey cockapoo in September, who we have called Eddie!! I have to say I know it's going to be hard work but looking forward to the challenge! 
Sam, I have to say my mum told me the same as you!! When I left uni, I was allowed home for no longer than 2 weeks, for a visit but it was made clear I wasn't welcome to move back home!! 
I have everything crossed that all goes well with your dad. Xxx
 

Hi girls,

Nice to hear from you both. happy birthday, Sam, I hope you have a lovely time. 
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, it's a horrible time to need to be in hospital. I don't know which is worse, being alone in hospital or being unable to visit the person alone in hospital. I wish him well. It sounds like you're a chip off that block from his attitude.

I know how you feel about your seroma/dog ear. I was disgusted to find the nodule in my right breast was just dead fat! I have knobbly scar tissue, too.  I feel a bit flatter, but don't know if it will improve any more. I'm back there in a couple of weeks. 
I got a letter telling me to go for a mammogram on Sept 10th, no info about further appointments- I think I'll just get a phone call with the results, eventually. Like both of you, I'm not worried about the result. I've had a conversation with my daughter today about my dangly DD. I could get rid of it when things get back to normal, my surgeon said so, but my kids have vetoed it on the grounds that they - repeat- they couldn't cope with a second round.  I said what if there is something there when I get my mammogram? My daughter has conceded that that would be different!  It's a good job I'm not getting a reconstruction. Speaking of which, I hope yours goes well, Sam. I couldn't face that. It would be ridiculous at my age, anyway, but if I was twenty years younger I probably would.  Sorry about not getting on the trial, better safe than sorry, though. You wouldn't want to make one condition worse by trying to cure another.

I'm smiling at your mothers locking the stable door after you both bolted, making sure you didn't get back in! There were still four younger than me at home when I went to teacher training, I met my husband, fell in love, got pregnant ( we were both very ignorant products of Catholic religious educational establishments so didn't know how to prevent that) so I got married and didn't finish my training for a few years. My mother cried when I first went away but I don't know if she was sad or just glad to have one less to worry about. 
Caroline, I love cockapoos, my neighbour across the road has one and she's adorable. I hope you don't have expensive puppy experiences similar to mine with Archie, who, I must say, is now adorable but it's been a long three years. 
 

I did the Road Safety course and just doing it meant I'd passed. I did one about twenty years ago that was really useful but this one was a bit pathetic really. Only two hours and no practical session, obviously. Still, it made me think about keeping my eye on the speedometer more often. He did agree that it's easier to slip over the speed limit in an automatic.
 

The rain this week was a nightmare, wasn't it? I had an SOS call from my daughter at 7pm Tuesday to ask me to come round to help her stop the rain coming in through the roof. She's getting a new roof but not until October. I had to climb half way up the loft ladder to collect full buckets of water that she dragged out from under the eaves, empty them and hand them back up to her to replace them. It did the trick and when we FaceTimed next morning she was happy to report no drips through the bedroom ceiling.  However, her apple tree in the back garden had come down with the wind and rain and could I help her to get all the fruit off before she could do anything else. I grabbed the dog and dashed round and I am still amazed to say that by eleven o'clock we had stripped it, cut it down, dug out the stump, bagged all the cut up branches and got them outside ready for the bin men to take it away. It was quite a big tree, too.  She did have a new electric saw that did make the cutting through the branches fairly easy and two pairs of hands made it a faster job than expected. She caught the bin men before they got to her house and asked if they would take it as there was enough for five bins. They were very nice and even took the trunk which was too thick to cut up. She gave them a tenner for the effort. It was money well spent, in the circumstances. Now we've got loads of apples for the horses up the lane, unfortunately not many are really fit to eat fresh but I might make some apple and strawberry jam over the weekend. 
 

Good luck for the mammogram, Caroline, and have a lovely time with Eddie.
Sam, have a fabulous birthday weekend and keep up the exercise.

love

Christine xxx

Love hearing from you ladies!  

Ahh PUPPY!!!  I'm so envious, I love dogs and their general stupidity (anything that makes me feel intellectually superior is good...only found dogs that do it so far..ha!!), my pal has Jaffa the cockerpoo, he's a lot more '***' than 'poo' though but is a loon and a delight at the same time.

I did have a fabby weekend, consumed a zillion calories (feel like the stomach fat roll could cope with a JJ reconstruction!) as last night the friend doing BBQ did me a lovely cheese platter (am not a pudding person...odd I know).

And Caroline I know how you feel re big birthdays, it was my 50th last year which conincided with blummin' diagnosis!  These diseases starting with 'C' spoil all our fun eh?  Am sure, like me, you'll manage to still have lots of fun though.

Christine, impressed with and surprised that your daughter let you become a temporary tree surgeon and water carrier...most impressive, you can add those skills to your already extensive repertoire.

Think my trainers ahve now (finally) dried out post last week's soaking ...just in time for today's cycling adventure...hurrah!  And no rain expected so think we'll stay somewhat drier this time.

And the Father is fine, he was chucked out of hospital yesterday and announced on arrival home that he needed a shower!  His poor partner just left him to it and stood near the phone ready to call for an ambulance...he is an idiot.

Good to hear from you & that you're both well X

Ha - love that CRUK ***'d out the first 4 letters of the type of puppy you're getting!!

Hi girls! 
I am happy to say I had my mammogram today. What a difference to last year. If you remember from my very first post, the clinic was heaving with women, all crowded into the waiting area clutching their gowns as they waited for the next stage of their examinations. Today there was one woman and her partner in the corner and I was the only other patient. I was immediately taken down to the mammography waiting area and it was no more than three minutes before I was called in.  Five minutes later I was on my way.  I used the  visit to town as an excuse to do some shopping. Nothing very exciting, just some spring bulbs and plug pots from B&Q then groceries that I had forgotten when ordering my delivery. 
Our local paper was boasting about the town keeping our Covid figures down, we are still doing well compared with neighbouring boroughs. I suspect the reason is we are all staying home in our outlying villages, and only surfacing when essential.

I'll update when I get the results. 
 

Stay safe!

xxx

Congrats Christine, you finally got that elusive mammogram, hope you get the results and don't have to guess like I did.

I've just invested in some new bulbs too, planting this weekend I think, love them spring flowers.  But as a tight northerner not yet ready to uproot current bedding plants (which are looking vvv tired...bit like me!) given that another summer beckons next week.

So lots happening here, back at work 5 days from next week...we'll see how that goes as was absolutely shattered Thurs/Fri after quite a full on 4 day week..asleep on sofa by 8pm!  Not good, I should be drop dead gorgeous by now considering all the beauty sleep I've had over the past 2 nights, unfortunately it seems to be eluding me.

Had a wildlife adventure in the week - found a stupid and injured teenage swan on the cycle path, all the Surrey yummy mummy's were just walking past it, commenting and then carrying on with their days! I ask you. I decided to stick around to protect it from dogs until the ranger that I called turned up and took it to a local wildlife refuge...what was odd is there's no ponds nearby, I think it had been out on an illegal rave with fellow swans.

I've got my 6 monthly follow up appointment this week, expectations are vvvv low, found out yesterday its via phone (cop out!)...not heard any good feedback about these.  I'm also due to have a bone and CT scan soon in prep for DIEP, they want to check that am still cancer free before moving bits of body around and putting me on Dr Frankenstein's table (I'd actually enjoy a few jolts of volts, might wake me up).  And then, rather randomly, an oncologist follow up in Nov that seems odd but I'll take it.

So have a draft date for DIEP, 8th Dec (Happy Christmas & all!), not quite sure how my zolodex injection the week after will work but will find a way...and ask the chemo nurse when am there in a couple of weeks.

Father is recovering well and off oop north next weekend to see him & his poor suffering partner...yay!! Would like to visit the northern mother too but she's in a naughty area of west yorks so still in lockdown and not sure if it's warm enough to do much outside...she's just going to have to wait I guess.  Just hope my Friday drive isn't quite as challenging as last time was (over 6 hrs).  So am not really working 5 days but Monday will be hard work (not having worked one since January).

The southern mother finally managed to wrench herself away from the cricket to meet me for lunch at a lovely place near Winchester (handy as midway between us) ...smoked salmon then a hoooge portion of fish & chips, still managed to polish it all off ( I am such a pig!), just as well I'm doing all this exercise isn't it?  She gave me a large bottle of raspberry vodka for my birthday...let's see how long that lasts eh??

How are the pared down 50th plans (there must be some) going Caroline? Whatever you do they will be better than mine last year as coincided with diagnosis...timing always one of my specialities. Your mammo is the day after my follow up, hope its not too painful and is as quick as Christine's and mine were.  Have you got little Eddie yet?  Jaffa, the one my pal has,was called nightmare for its first year...

Tell us when you get your all clear Christine...did I tell you my middle name is Nostradamus?

X

Hi Sam,

congratulations on being back at work. I think it is a good milestone, even though you are cream crackered at the end of the day. 
We had a similar wildlife adventure this week. My daughter's house looks out onto a fishing lake with lots of different water birds. We were delighted to see that the Muscovy ducks had managed to keep half their ducklings. Some years they lose them all to the foxes and pike. We met a neighbour who is big into rescuing, one year she took a clutch of ducklings and reared them to adulthood in her garden pond. She was looking for "Gully" a seagull that apparently had a broken wing. My daughter looked down at the grass edging the lake and said "I think you"ve found him" there was this little gull all curled up, and I think he was breathing his last, but this lady grabbed him and carried him off in her arms to who knows where. We haven't seen her since to ask about him but I don't think it will be good news.

Welcome to the world of telephone consultations, let us know how you go on. I hope you get your DIEP, done. It looks very unpromising for the immediate future COVID  wise, so you might have to wait a bit longer. I hope not, though. 
 

I have had a busy week, the first for many months. Last Friday I went for the mammogram, as previously reported, then on Monday my son arrived back from caring for his in-laws in Ireland. He told me he would probably go home and self isolate before coming up to see me, depending on how much interaction he had with others on the ferry. Anyway, he hardly saw anyone on board so made the detour to come North before going back down South. It was lovely just spending a couple of hours with him. Then on Tuesday, my niece, who lives as far South as possible, on the Kent coast, came to see me. She and her husband were staying at a holiday cottage just up the motorway from me so they brought their gorgeous dogs, a whippet and a lurched, and we had a lovely time catching up. 
Today I went to the Lympho clinic and everything is going well. I just need to carry on the drainage exercises. 
When I got home I had a couple of missed calls from a withheld number- the hospital with my mammogram results. Apparently that area of dead fat they found last year has shown up as calcification so they want to do a biopsy to check it out oh joy!  While I was writing this my phone rang again with my appointment for next Monday at 11 am. No messing about there. I don't have any reason to think it is anything serious. Last year I had been frighteningly fatigued for a couple of months before my diagnosis and this year I've been a roofer, a lumberjack and a removals person in the last few weeks. My daughter needed to move a big metal tambour unit from her porch to her garage. Unfortunately the garage is about ten feet higher than and twenty yards away from the porch up a series of steps. We managed! I think I'm going to write a new CV offering my services as a general handy woman!

Keep well, both of you! 
 

Christine xxx

Hi ladies!

So mammogram was today. I was worried to be fair, more because my "back flap" boob still hurts so I was worried about it being squashed. They were very good and did stop when I said it hurt. I found it pulled on my back scar too. Just got to wait now - 2/4 weeks for the results.  I'm not too worried about the results though. 
I met up with my 'cancer buddy'  for a cuppa as her mammogram was a couple of hours after mine. We met at the 'non stop' breast cancer clinic last June and were diagnosed on the same day. 
Then this afternoon I went and had a tattoo!! I will have to see if I can put a pic on!!
Christine, what a bummer re having to go back for a biopsy. Fingers crossed all is fine! 
Sam, you sound like you are mucking along, getting back to the normality of work!  I have everything crossed that your op will go ahead as planned. All this Covid increase isn't really anything we haven't been expecting but such a pain in the ***. 
I actually like staying in than going out nowadays!! 
We pick up our new puppy on Sunday! I'm expecting the hard work to come and have booked to work from home next week! My sleep is pretty crap now I'm taking my tamoxifen again, so I'm such getting up for a puppy will be a doddle :laugh: 

Make sure you both stay in touch - let's get through this first milestone without any major hiccups!! 
Love to you both.

Caroline

Hey Caroline,

Ouch! I forgot you would have to put your "bad" boob through mammogram as well as the remaining "good" one. I only had dangly DD to squeeze so no pain there.

I love the tattoo! Where is it? I can't tell from the photo.

You will have to put a photo of your puppy on here so we can drool. The one thing I did manage to train Archie to do was to go to the toilet outside. It involved l o n g stretches of time during the first week, in the garden saying "Weewee Archie" followed by extravagant amounts of praise when he did his duty. He cottoned on to what I wanted him to do after only a few days, in fact, I still have nearly a full pack of the one pack of puppy pads I bought, we had so few accidents. Any other attempts at training failed because Faith kept interfering, she wanted to be his boss, not me.

I am sure all will be ok when I have the biopsy, I'm just not looking forward to the event itself. The nurse said I will have to go into the mammogram machine again before getting an injection of local anaesthetic and then they'll do the biopsy. I read later that calcification only shows up on a mammogram, not on ultrasound so they have to put me in again to see where the chalk is,weird!  That's how she described it.  Still, the fact that they have got me in so quickly shows they are still working that end of the job properly, even if they are failing on the normal follow ups. It would be too ironic, if, after all the fuss I made about getting both breasts removed, last year and being refused,they had to do it anyway! I don't think so, though.

i know how you feel about staying in, after being sociable with my visitors, this week, my daughter suggested the two of us went to the pub for tea the next day. Then that night I saw that our local Covid infection rate had doubled in a week and we were now in the top fifty for cases, we decided to stay in!  So it came as no surprise when it was announced today that we were included with the rest of Lancashire now for more restrictions.  I'm so glad I got my visitors this week!

I'll let you know how I go on with the biopsy. You must let us know when you get your mammogram results, and you, Sam, must let us know how you go on with your DIEP plans and what your oncologist has to say.
 It's been a funny old year with one thing and another, 2019 and breast cancer has sort of faded into insignificance compared to 2020 and the pandemic! Who would have thought it?

Take care, stay safe,

lots of love

Christine xxx