I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Hi ladies,

I missed the call :neutral: I didn't realise my phone was on silent!!! 

Aaaaagh! How infuriating - have you called to rearrange?  I must make sure I'm sitting waiting with phone at the ready at 9am next Wednesday!

xxx

I'd come home from work so I could take the call at home and even left the phone out so I wouldn't be hunting through my bag!! But needed to go to the loo and that is when they called! It got to 3:10 and I thought I'd check my phone and the call had come through at 2:55!! I've called the breast cancer nurses and left a message.

caroline x

ARGGGHHH!!

You great nana.

Am sure they will have phoned back by now??  Do hope so.  

Hope you heard my special claps last night, my right arm ached afterwards but due to a very good cause of course.

So had my rads apppintment which wasn't a planning one at all it was a "hear the side effects and sign your life away" meeting.  Leaky seroma is delaying proceedings so planning meeting now 14th April and rads likely to start beginning May-ish. So all fine really.  Obviously things may get delayed re that bl**dy disease but not overly concerned.

Right this glutton is ravenous so need lunch, will write usual lengthy rubbish soon...

Sam X

I called the breast cancer nurses office yesterday and left a message to say id missed my call but not heard anything back. I went out and clapped yesterday too!! I'm so in awe of some of the nurses I work with and what they are having to go through at the moment. 
Fingers crossed they do get your radiotherapy started in May. Yes they will need to wait till all your operation scars have calmed down. Don't forget to get your cream ready!! 
 

Caroline xx

C&C

Found time in my hectic schedule to drivel on!

Caroline

I do hope that someone responds to your missed appointment soon and that work is not as annoying as it was? 

My work has furloughed its staff but is paying full pay till end of month so am glad that my private medical came through...for me cancer does have some benefits!

I think I have a "cream" chat at planing session...let's see what they recommend as it seems to be different at lots of hospitals. Already have aloe Vera in fridge (it will be soooper cool come May!).

Christine 

I think that along with running & cycling you'll find there's more joining you in your artistic pursuits.  On the plus side with painting you don't knacker your legs eh, just ( if it was me) cover the house in paint...and probably ruin the painting when I couldn't get the eyes or some other detail "right".

When is your follow-up appointment next week?

Re the calcium tablets I just leave them on the kitchen side so that I have to look at them every time I pass through kitchen - that way I can't avoid them.  Try sticking them near kettle or fridge door? 

I'm not sure even if its practical to write about but what did your physio tell you to do to stop the sandpaper feeling under your arm?  I do attempt to massage (my version, not sure a masseuse would agree) it every day but not sure its having as much of an effect as I think it should.

I also like the hair strategy, I totally agree and will, if mine looks too terrible in a couple of weeks (and it will based on progression to date), shave it all off again, after all it will be lovely in the summer especially when those hot flushes come around.  I'm sure you look fab!

As its going to be a lovely day today (nice enough to go out without coat but not too hot, those sort of sunny days are acceptable to this northerner) I think I'll get stuck back into my book and will forgo my daily walk as there'll be too many people that will need shouting at in the woods near me - I'm more likely to lose my voice than get cv.

Am expanding my culinary horizons further this week, stuffed peppers awaits mid-week, I did used to live on fish or vegetarian muck with veg - am a confirmed carnivore  (nothing better than some corned beef or tongue - the quality meats!!) though decent meat too costly for a tight northerner to then ruin by her inability to (be bothered to) cook it properly! If I live through this nonsense given my food experiments that will be nothing short of miraculous.

Watched the film contagion last night, was quite happy that annoying Gwyneth Paltrow got her comeuppance but funny how in hindsight its more of a documentary!

Stay well & hope you both get your meetings this week.  Time for my morning exercises, am going through my CD collection (went through all my vinyl already) and am on classic disco tracks currently - am sure the neighbours appreciate it and my singing of course, the cats seem to want to be outside when this happens surprisingly enough...

Sam X

Hi Sam,

My "consultation" is 9 am on Wednesday, I was hoping to pick Caroline's brain as to what to expect but unless she gets another one before Wednesday it looks like I'm on my own. 
I had my walk with Archie this morning, we went right to the top of the lane to see the deer and the alpacas, but the deer were right over the other side of the field, I could just see their silhouettes in the distance and the alpacas weren't out. It's a good walk though, gets the heart beating and the breath pumping. Took a very pretty photo of a robin sitting on a reed by the side of the lake, future painting inspiration, perhaps.  The one I'm doing at the moment is taking too long. I keep seeing it differently and changing things. It's only a woodland scene and I have put deer in, but they are no problem it's the blooming leaves on the trees that I'm struggling with.  I met a few people on the walk but stayed at the safe distance while talking to them. I got annoyed later, though, when a complete stranger parked his car right outside my house then got his walking gear out of the boot and toddled off.  I didn't see him come back because I was painting but I might have said something about unnecessary journeys.

This current situation has brought our neighbourhood together. We are having a street party when it's all,over. Then someone came up with the idea of an online quiz, just between the group. I haven't joined in that because I am terrible at quizzes- I get very competitive and as I've spent a lifetime collecting and storing useless information in this excuse for a brain, so I usually win. Once when I was working my department joined in with another department working on the same floor, for a Christmas party, including a quiz.  The people organising it had bought loads of silly little Christmas gifts as prizes for each stage of the quiz and I won the lot. It got so embarrassing I ended up giving the person next to me the answers so I didn't win. I have to say they chose a lot of geographical and historical questions that sort of included everywhere I'd ever lived.

The next idea someone has come up with is for us to put chairs at the end of our drives and have a sing song!  Only problem is our road is L shaped and I live on the short bit of the L,  I made my excuses, then my neighbour immediately opposite me said we could go to the corner and sit on opposite sides of the street and join in. Grrrr! This is only going to happen if we are still on lockdown in the Summer, so it isn't going to happen - not with me partaking, anyway.

I've just been a horrible sister, it's my (younger) sister's 70 th birthday today.  She lives in California, and her younger son, who lives at their ranch in Belize set up a surprise Zoom party for her. I hate parties, real or otherwise. From the sound of it there were going to be people from all over the world joining in this thing, not many of whom I would know so I didn't join in.  My nephew, not her son, phoned me to remind me and I told him I didn't want to do it, but I might just log on near the end, but I didn't!!!

I sent her loads of virtual cards and a message this morning, which she hasn't replied to, despite having been online lots of times since!  Now I'm going to feel guilty, for not doing something I didn't want to do.

I have to contradict you about painting not knackering your legs. My knees are killing me after standing painting all day. I wouldn't care but I bought an adjustable bar stool just for painting and I forget to sit on it! I think I'll take a pain killer tablet tonight just to make sure I sleep. 
I hope you get good advice about cream for your skin prior to having rads. My physio recommended Aveeno and it does make the skin feel lovely and soft.  How she taught me to reduce the oversensitivity in my arm was to stand in front of the mirror, naked and to stroke the good arm in the same place the bad arm hurts. Give it a good few gentle strokes from elbow to armpit. Then you stroke the bad arm In the same way, and repeat. It only took about a week and I'd forgotten how irritated the sore one had been. Apparently your brain realises that both arms should feel the same and the good arm is how it should feel!

One good thing about the group of neighbours messaging us all is they pass on some good jokes.  Someone sent a serious looking piece of advice today. It said that wine and other alcohol bottles should be put out into the recycling bin at 8pm on Thursday night, as the clapping for the NHS would drown out the evidence of your household's descent into alcoholism!

Christine xxx

Hi ladies,

I called the breast cancer nurses again today as still not heard anything. They said there was a letter in the post, which had arrived when I got home from work. Just said if I wanted to rearrange my call, to give them a bell or if I was happy to wait till my 12month appointment, I could do that. They have given me a date in October for my 12 month check up. I'm not really sure what to do, to be honest. I really don't feel that I will achieve much reassurance from a phone call. 
Work is crazy busy and I'm finding Im working much longer hours. But I do like the fact that I can leave the house everyday. 
Christine, maybe we will be taking our lead from your follow up call!!

Sam, like Christine recommended, I also used aveeno cream and had no real side effects

Take care ladies xx

Howdy all....

Christine,

Oooo I love alpacas, though I do feel sorry for lamas which seem overshadowed by the smaller and cuter alpacas, there's loads down here in Surrey land as people already have horses and probably nothing better to spend their ill gotten gains on!

The woods that I live near have loads of daft deer too, when I used to cycle to work I used to come across them quite regularly, they are lovely creatures but not the brightest -one once jumped out on poor boyfriend when he was cycling to mine, he nearly had a coronary!  What does Archie make of these animals?  

The robin is my favourite woodland bird round here and I like to play spot the robin (when I can hear it I must locate it!), I'm pretty darn good I have two say, they are so up for a fight (reminds me of someone...).

Eyes and leaves eh...they're your cryptonite!

You sound like my mother - she ALWAYS wins at trivial pursuit, I can always get a pink cheese but the rest are somewhat harder to come by.  She is also very annoying in that she generally completes the Times crossword, I struggle with the Waitrose weekly paper one which is definitely for simpletons.

I do love the plans that your community has and hope that similar things are happening elsewhere and do come to fruition, not sure they will round here....I will however have a big ooop north celebration with pals.  That said I'm not sure the singing would be my idea of fun, I'm not really very Vera Lynn.

Re your knees am now imagining you painting with your feet...and that would be a feat!!

Will give the stroking of both arms a go, with the curtains shut.

Hope the call yesterday was ok.  Let us know how it went.

Caroline

Can't believe they haven't returned your blummin call yet, that is bad show.

And there's no point phoning to rearrange when they won't even return your call is there? Madness.

Glad work seems to be on a more even footing and that you're enjoying it (or at least the opportunity to get out & about).  I really don't know how I will practically manage to fit in any work in my hectic schedule nowadays.  I do think that with a lot of WFH and changed routines that many will be re-evaluating their lives (much like many post cancer 

Treatment do I guess) and will be choosing more flexible ways of working....and on that note don't overdo it!

I do get to go outdoors (other than supermarket walk or hours walk) today...yay!  Its my monthly zolodex injection at the hospital, strange how you really look forward to these "opportunities", I will be getting glammed up accordingly given these times are now few & far between...Not sure how it will work as the chemo ward (where I have these) is now locked down...we'll see.

Also have now decided that I can drive again - especially given how long it took on public transport when last used as boyfriend has v important work related meeting. Just as well there's nowt on the roads...

Hope you've given up something amazing for lent, other than socialising or the will to live!  Happy Easter.

Sam X

Hi Girls,

Well, I had my telephone consultation - all 3 minutes of it!  As expected it was quite  cursory.  I asked what would have happened if I had gone in to the breast clinic. The reply was that I would have been examined, and given an appointment for my next mammogram, in September, then discharged. !!??
I asked about the ultrasound guided drainage of my seroma, which has been cancelled, she didn't know anything about it!  She asked if I had been given a new date for it and when I said it had just been completely cancelled. She said she would see that it was sorted for when all this nonsense is over with. I then asked her about a new thing that I have experienced recently to see if it was a known side effect of the Letrozole. I get cramp in my legs, in bed, not the usual calf muscle cramp I have occasionally  experienced, it comes right down the outside of my leg, from knee to ankle, no idea what that muscle is called. She hadn't heard of it and I said I was just telling her about it because the paperwork says to report anything different. I don't think she made a note of it.  The last thing she said was they would see me in about three months!  
Yesterday, someone in our neighbourhood group put up the message, "8pm, Clap for Boris" I deleted my reply before sending it, because these people are my neighbours and I don't want to antagonise them.  I don't know if they did go out and clap.

I spent a couple of hours grooming the fur ball yesterday- he hates it, but I was very gentle and he got a nice treat at the end of it.  Had another go with the painting, still don't know if I like it.  When I like a painting I've done, it goes on a wall somewhere so I can see it, if I don't like it it goes in a cupboard out of sight.  That cupboard is getting very full!

I've just seen something about keeping cats indoors because of the CV, don't know why, yet, just thought of it because I know you have cats, Sam.

I hope you get more satisfaction from your consultation, Caroline. It sounds as though they wouldn't have checked for more cancer until a year has gone by, anyway, so I'm just going with the flow!

Another exciting day ahead- walk Archie, next, then I'm going to get up close and personal with the cleaning equipment, ie vacuum cleaner and mop and if it stays fine I might mow the front lawn. I did the tiny back one a couple of days ago. 
Stay safe!

Christinexx

Hi Girls,

Well, I had my telephone consultation - all 3 minutes of it!  As expected it was quite  cursory.  I asked what would have happened if I had gone in to the breast clinic. The reply was that I would have been examined, and given an appointment for my next mammogram, in September, then discharged. !!??
I asked about the ultrasound guided drainage of my seroma, which has been cancelled, she didn't know anything about it!  She asked if I had been given a new date for it and when I said it had just been completely cancelled. She said she would see that it was sorted for when all this nonsense is over with. I then asked her about a new thing that I have experienced recently to see if it was a known side effect of the Letrozole. I get cramp in my legs, in bed, not the usual calf muscle cramp I have occasionally  experienced, it comes right down the outside of my leg, from knee to ankle, no idea what that muscle is called. She hadn't heard of it and I said I was just telling her about it because the paperwork says to report anything different. I don't think she made a note of it.  The last thing she said was they would see me in about three months!  
Yesterday, someone in our neighbourhood group put up the message, "8pm, Clap for Boris" I deleted my reply before sending it, because these people are my neighbours and I don't want to antagonise them.  I don't know if they did go out and clap.

I spent a couple of hours grooming the fur ball yesterday- he hates it, but I was very gentle and he got a nice treat at the end of it.  Had another go with the painting, still don't know if I like it.  When I like a painting I've done, it goes on a wall somewhere so I can see it, if I don't like it it goes in a cupboard out of sight.  That cupboard is getting very full!

I've just seen something about keeping cats indoors because of the CV, don't know why, yet, just thought of it because I know you have cats, Sam.

I hope you get more satisfaction from your consultation, Caroline. It sounds as though they wouldn't have checked for more cancer until a year has gone by, anyway, so I'm just going with the flow!

Another exciting day ahead- walk Archie, next, then I'm going to get up close and personal with the cleaning equipment, ie vacuum cleaner and mop and if it stays fine I might mow the front lawn. I did the tiny back one a couple of days ago. 
Stay safe!

Christinexx

Hi ladies,

Christine, interesting to hear about your call. That is what I kind of expected would happen. I might just ring them and say I'm happy to wait until October.  I do need to ask if they will be doing an ultra sound as my cancer didn't show up on a mammogram. 
Love hearing all your news and what you've been up to and feeling a little bit envious of the slow down of your life style. 
As to be expected life working in the hospital is busy busy but I'm enjoying the business and learning new roles.

will let you know when I've called the breast team and what they say.

Caroline xx

Hi Girls,

Just a quickie, I got a message last night, to log in to the hospital patient portal, which I did, to find a letter inviting me to a General Surgery appointment with the Breast Specialist Nurses team on Wed 8 July at 8.45 am. I wasn't told about this at my telephone consultation but this was, obviously what she meant when she said she would see my in three months.  

 Cxx

Christine
Wow, 3 whole minutes eh? If your BCN does the things that she should not altogether a waste of time I guess?
My letrozole side effects are all bone & muscle related and in reading about others haven't come across your symptoms, I do hope the BCN made a note of these things, I mean how busy can the BCNs be when most things are cancelled/shortened/delayed?
I think the "clap for Boris" instruction was STD related, fear not, no-ones stupid enough to congratulate him the same way as nurses etc.
Yeah I saw the article too, it was encouraging those with cv to keep their beasts inside, if I had it & did it to mine they would knock a hole in the door/wall/me....let's hope it doesn't come to that!
Don't get confused and mop the lawn, I'm still on no housework - more through choice as the days go by, when it gets really bad I may do something about it.  Did I mention that I have very low standards when it comes to cleanliness & chores.
Did a stretching class online yesterday, couldn't do some of the stuff re duff arm but feels a lot better today re reduced numbness & seroma, I've also started the magic stroking that you recommended so that will be helping it feel more like the other arm too.

Caroline
You should be even more envious of my life if its the slow-life you're after!  My only exertions are getting out of bed in the morning (thanks to Letrazole!) and exercising - this is how life should be....and I managed to get an on-line delivery slot for 19th so will do a big/heavy shop to supplement my one bag for life trips into town.

So today's thrilling instalment in this cv story is a barre class (ooo get me!), finishing my book and shopping for stuffed pepper ingredients...gosh, am tired at the thought!! Ha!

Have a good and chocolate filled (for normal people, not me) Easter weekend

Sam X
 

Happy Easter,

I don't think it will be choc laden for everyone, I've had my chocolate order noted as not available on my daughter's Ocado order.  She has just told me she's got a delivery slot for next Thursday but I had to get my shopping list to her in the next hour, so it's very much a guess as you go list. I need to be able to browse to know what I really want.  Fruit, fresh fruit and vegetables and milk are what I always need so they are on the list. Saves money, though, not being able to impulse buy that lovely cake or whatever else has been put there to tempt us.
 

Sam, I think I have given you the wrong impression of my housewifery. I am very happy to ignore house cleaning until the dog hairs on the floor threaten to clog up the vacuum cleaner, which is when I scrape them with rubber soles shoes and create long ropes of hair that can be picked up by hand! I'm a firm believer in doing the necessary stuff and ignoring the rest. I like clean, but dusty and untidy don't get to me that much. Having said that, yesterday I nearly did myself in with the Good Friday cleaning.  It was a ritual when I was a girl that Good Friday morning was when the house got scrubbed from top to bottom and you recovered in church in the afternoon! I don't go to church any more but the cleaning gets done. I recovered in the garden with a good book!

I'm a bit worried about your arm, Sam, I never had any problem with the stretching exercises, and was able to fully extend my arm even when I had the cording. I suppose it's still early days, though.

My silly knee has become painful again, but my new physio who examined me over video the other day has given me a new set of exercises, and I have an app on my phone that guides me through them and records my diligence. I get the chance to give feedback, and say if I had any pain, on the app. One of the new exercises gave me cramp which I reported and I'm not going to do that one again until I hear from her.

Well,  it's a gorgeous day. We have already been up the lane, the deer were clearly visible today, and some of the horses had been let out into the field.  Last year three of the mares had foals, but there were only two horses out today, one was lying down sunning herself and the other was looking very rounded in the belly so we might be having more babies this year.  I love that lane in the summer with all the animals. We get lots of baby deer, baby horses, usually lots of lambs, but they must be on another field, this year as I haven't seen any sheep at all. The bird life up there is fabulous, too. A little patch of heaven! Last year I wasn't feeling well enough to enjoy it as much, so I'm looking forward to daily treks this year.

Have a lovely weekend, despite the lockdown!

Love

Christine xx

Hi lovely ladies,

I managed to have a restful day on Friday. Like you Christine, I did my cleaning/washing in the morning then sat and read a book in the garden. Yesterday I did a 9 hour day at work. Off today then work tomorrow. My alcohol consumption seems to be creeping up so need to get that in check!!! Think I get home from a manic day at work and am treating myself but I need to get back to no alcohol on a week day! 
We are very lucky where we live, that we have the countryside on our doorstep so can get out for some lovely dog walks, although he has been limping for the past 2 days, after chasing a deer! He forgets he's 9 years old and over did the excersion! Seemed better yesterday so might take him on a short walk today.

Luckily I bought Easter eggs about 3 weeks ago so we do have chocolate here. And we have had loads of lovely donations at the hospital so I did sit and eat a whole Easter egg while at work yesterday (did feel quite sick afterwards)

Hope you have a lovely Easter!

Caroline xx

Hi there

Had a thrilling radiotherapy planning session earlier in week, pity it was at 8.45 in the morning otherwise would have been a nice time out! So am all lined up & tattooed (was quite disappointed to learn that in order to get a teardrop below the eye prison tattoo, as that's what these dots are, you have to murder someone...mind you the time may come!).

I start rads on 30th April and finish ( all being well) 21st May so we're all set.  Picked 11am as my time so I have time to put makeup on (not sure I'll remember how given its been so long!) and don't have to get up earlier than normally do.  They took a picture of my face Tues and i did point out to them that all being well will look even more gorgeous when they see me next!

Apparently I get a call the day before re maintenance during rads, moisturising & stuff I guess.

Oh and got my 6 monthly follow up meeting letter for mid-September, its currently planned as a meeting but time will tell..

Still aching on arm mainly but also seroma, oh and my legs impacted by hormone tablets, you're right Christine, will call BCN when I can be bothered (tomorrow) to check all is well in this respect & see if any physio type exercises can be recommended.

Also managed, amazingly, after 4 wks of trying, to get through to the DWP as can claim ESA to supplement the insurance payouts (that assume you get this benefit) so fingers crossed on that one.

Christine 

Hope the new exercises are doing their job and the app is recording you doing them all diligently...its like knee exercise big brother!

It sounds so idyllic where you love and makes me yearn for the north even more..far too built up and full of people (mainly idiots) round here.

Caroline

Glad you had a "good" good Friday, you deserve it, hope the book was good.  When it gets nicer I'll get back to mine...the garden is the best spot for reading, too many distractions when in the house I find.

My friends have similar thoughts re the creeping alcohol consumption, luckily I'm not yet back on it but soon....and sounds like an excellent Easter diet combined with the whole Easter egg!

Am lucky I don't like chocolate to was bought some fudge instead (salted as prefer savoury to sweet stuff), give me cheese over puddings any day - as long as its blue & stinky happy days...

Ordered a jigsaw earlier so the spare room is now my jigsaw room, that does however mean those curtains are still getting no attention whatsoever...oh dear!

Hope you and your furry beasts are all well.

X

Hi Girls,

Good to hear from you both.  I got an Easter egg today!  My daughter delivered my shopping from her Ocado delivery and included an Easter egg she had been given but couldn't eat as she is dairy intolerant,  

My new exercise regime is very Big Brother! I didn't know at first that it has a timer to make sure I do them properly. It certainly makes you scared to miss them because it has "results" which show where you have missed them.  There are things I haven't sussed out yet, too. I wish these things came with instructions!  I don't know how helpful they are, yet, as I'm still taking tablets at night to stop it hurting when I'm at rest. I'm walking ok though, so as long as I can do that I'm happy.

My brother told me he is drinking more while at home all the time. He says he'll look like a drunken yeti by the time this ends and he gets his hair cut.  I think he sometimes wears pjs all day, too! 

Fortunately, I'm not in the habit of drinking as I'm usually the designated driver when I go out with the family or friends. A glass of good wine at dinner in a restaurant and a gin and tonic as the first drink of the evening if we go to the pub is about it, except for Christmas when they come to me and the Bailey's comes out!

Well, some of my mad neighbours decided that we would sing Over the Rainbow when we had our communal clapping for carers. We've just done it and the people from round the corner are putting messages up saying well done. Well done? It was pathetic from where I stood.  It was like at church when they play a hymn no one knows and people just open and shut their mouths and the noises coming out are not exactly musical.

I got a letter about my checkup phone call and the nurse did note the cramp I have been getting in my legs since starting the Letrozole and confirmed my new appointment in July, although we could still be in lockdown by then from the looks of things.

While I was out doing the clapping, I knew Archie was up to something because he didn't follow me out,  I didn't think it could have been much, but when I came in he was chowing down on the ham and salad sandwich I had put to one side when I answered the phone earlier.  I'm hungry now and would have loved that sandwich, but I know I'm going to eat rhubarb crumble instead, or even Easter egg!

Another lovely day today, so I spent the afternoon in the garden, reading, after I'd mowed both lawns and picked rhubarb and made rhubarb crumble for my daughter, my neighbour and myself. I think it's going to change soon. One newspaper said we're in for icy blasts!  Lovely!

Take care, stay safe 

xxx

Love reading you ladies chats.  I have been there with breast cancer but was one of the lucky ones as everything was very straightforward from diagnosis, op, radiotherapy and then discharged.  Started in July 2019 and discharged February this year.  Keep strong ladies, and keep your sense of humour.  My husband and I are unable to go further than our front garden as he suffers from COPD (he is very well at the moment thankfully).  Our garden is looking the best it has for ages as it is getting tended every day. I envy you the walks, shopping trips and freedom.  We get online deliveries from Morrisons which is usually the highlight of the week.  We then spend ages disinfecting it with 'whisky' which is the only alcohol based stuff we have in the house!  Take care, stay safe and all the best on your cancer journey.

Hi Sam and Caroline, and welcome Pandy,

I'm glad our ramblings are interesting someone.  We've got into a nice little support system, here. We, all three, Sam, Caroline and myself have been going through our cancer journey at, more or less, the same time.

I'm like you, Pandy,it's all been very straightforward.  I haven't been discharged yet because  of this horrible Covid19. I have to wait until July for my next face to face checkup but apart from still needing treatment for my seroma/lymphoedema in the mastectomy site, I am doing fine and was almost feeling cocky! (Huh! Breast cancer? There's nothing to It!!)  

But today I  phoned a lovely lady, who just happened to look very much like my mother, who became my friend as we shared a ward, just the two of us, the night before we were to have our mastectomies. We bonded over silly jokes and reminiscing about our youth and have kept in touch on and off since then. She hadn't recovered as well as I had and stopped taking her Letrozole as she felt nauseous and couldn't eat when she was taking it and was losing weight. She was also suffering a lot of pain in her hip, which seemed to be the result of her artificial hip having been damaged or dislodged during her surgery, possibly when she was being moved while anaesthetised.

Today I learned that she died on Monday, not from cancer but from infection in her liver, pancreas and gall bladder, whose symptoms are nausea, lack of appetite and weight loss! The saddest thing is she might have had blood tests to find out what was wrong if everyone hadn't assumed it was the Letrozole that caused her symptoms.  Left untreated it became overwhelming and they couldn't save her.

Her funeral isn't going to happen until 29th of this month and only immediate family can attend. Her poor husband who is well into his 80s now has to self isolate for two weeks as he went in to see her before she died, in ICU, where there were lots of Covid  patients. He doesn't know what to do with himself and is grieving so much all alone.

Huh, Breast cancer? Nothing to it - just watch out for all the other nasties that can sneak up and kill you!

Stay safe, all of you!

xxx

Oh Christine, 

Thats so sad to hear :-( From what I hear at work, there are going to be more deaths from things like this. We have been saying how eerily quiet it is in the hospital and everyone is asking - where are all the cancer/heart attack/stroke etc patients! They suspect that people are staying at home because they are either too frightened to come into hospital or don't want to put pressure on the hospitals. People with lumps etc will leave it too late, surgeries/check ups are all being delayed. This might then result in people being too far down the cancer path to be successfully treated. The clinical lead for Cancer told me yesterday that you wouldn't want to be newly diagnosised right now!!! I'm just hoping that our "lack of effective" check ups is not going to of detriment to us!!! 
But, it's so lovely to keep in touch!!

Sam, your messages always make me chuckle!! When I went for my tattoos, I did ask for flowers or maybe little birds ;-) They told me they aren't that artistic :-0

But you are nearing the end now!! So soon you will have to peel yourself out of your pjs and get back into the real world - oh wait!! Everyone is in their pjs, unable to live in the real world!! ;-)

Well, off to drink my glass of Prosecco. Work in the morning. 
Take care lovelies xx