I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Hiya Sam,

No I didn't get the chance to punch him, he wimped out of coming in to the meeting, leaving it to the lovely nurse to tell me the good news. I know he was in the building because the nurse had to go and ask him whether she should leave my drain in or take it out.  

The change in my taste buds is a mystery because so far I've only had surgery, no chemicals.

I am post menopause, as you can imagine at my age and I had a very short but horrendous menopause that cost me my relationship (actually that was probably a good thing) due to suddenly stopping my HRT after a report about its relationship to breast cancer. The thought of night sweats and mood swings again is what puts me off, especially as my chances of being alive after five years only goes up by 2% over doing nothing more.  I have started a discussion about it hoping to get some real life experience from women my age.

I'm sorry you are finding this new drug harder to deal with than before, it sort of lowers the mood, doesn't it. Keeping busy does help, and now, thank goodness I'm allowed to be busy, back on doggy daycare duties now, yay!!! I'm hoping the will to start painting again will come back, then I'll know I'm really on the way to recovery!, I actually started to design my Christmas card before the second op, and I really must hone the design and get it finished before it's too late. My neighbour across the road put up her Christmas lights yesterday!!!

Feel better soon!!

Christine xx

Christine

Interesting your challenge re the hormone tablets as I am now doing the same re my 2nd chemo drug as these painful feet are unacceptable and are compromising my quality of life.  I've a meeting with oncologist to discuss next week as either what to stop the chemo (lump is after all much improved) or change to one that's better for me and that I can walk whilst on (not much to ask you would have thought mmm). Also there's a chance that the damage could be or could become permenant.

So have been house bound, apart from  hospital visit Monday re feet, nothing they can do to ease the pain annoyingly.  Trying to keep busy but limited re feet and them hurting ( you don't realise how important they are until they're annoying, I mean you could take both boobs and several organs but please DO NOT mess with my feet).

Am glad you're doing stuff, I can sense more happiness in your note, which is great!  Your neighbour however needs taking down, along with their decorations...not till December!

Love the thought of designing cards..far too imaginative for me I'm afraid, I'm more willing to pay a small fortune for tasteful ones.

Have fun with your new (ishly) found freedom.  

Sam X

Hi Sam,

We are in a pickle, aren't we! I feel for you, but if it's any use to hear, my sister and one of my close friends had the same problem with both hands and feet, had to wear slippers and cotton gloves to do anything, but they have both totally recovered from that when they finished the treatment.

i have had a few replies to my request for  real life experiences but I'm still no nearer making.a decision about whether or not to undergo treatment. I haven't had any news about an appointment with the oncologist, yet, but today I got a letter from the prosthesis people and an appointment to get fitted for a permanent one on 19th December.  I'll have a new boob for Christmas,  Whoopydoo!

i have a script ready for my meeting with the oncologist when it eventually happens, starting with a request to see my pathology reports. 

I feel just like you do about the Christmas lights, I have to look at them from the minute it goes dark. I don't put my decorations up until the week before Christmas because if they went up any earlier I'd be pulling them down before New Year.

i completed a little upcycling project today, so I have a real sense of achievement.  The family of my neighbour who died a few weeks ago have been clearing the house and have already filled two skips. For some reason an odd little table was left after the skip had been taken away and it was just the right size for my budgie cage, so I rescued it, sanded it down and decoupaged the top and bottom shelf and Joey is now tucked up in his cage on top of it.

I hope you manage to cope with the feet, or change your drug. Keep your chin up, I know exactly what you are going through mentally, if not physically..

Christinexx

Hi ladies,

Christine - I can fully understand your battle with the tablets. I have mine sat in a drawer. They have been there since October. I asked my oncologist if I could delay taking them until radiotherapy was finished and he said that was fine. Tomorrow is my last session and I'm still not sure when I will start taking them. I have always been in good health and have only ever had a few courses of antibiotics and pain killers. Never had to take a medication over a long period of time and even though I know it is a good idea for me to take them - not yet having got through the menopause, I am still not sure. I think I might still thinking of another reason why I leave it another day/week/month! 
 

Sam, so crap to hear you are struggling with this new batch of chemo. But like you said, worth asking if you need to continue if lump has shrunk and will be removed during surgery.

like I said, I have my last radiotherapy tomorrow and am starting to crave a normal life without appointments and cancer! I don't think I will be someone who worries and feels lost without being checked up on. I have been offered a holistic follow up but no one has called yet. My skin has been a superstar and isn't sore or red. Think it is just the tiredness - some days more so than others but I'm not doing as I should be - resting and drinking plenty of water.  After tomorrow I don't have another appointment until April!! 
Re Christmas - i am a complete control freak when putting up the decs but they won't be going up until the middle of Dec! You put them up too early they will need dusting!! 
I am out on a Christmas meal tomorrow so a good way to celebrate the end!! 

Caroline xx

Hi Caroline,

Congratulations on getting through your radio therapy!  I hope you are doing ok now.  I think you should go ahead with the tablets only because you are still young and need to do what it takes to stay well.  I blame my dithering on being an old dear, with a different view of what I need from the future. I don't need 20 years but you do! I have almost promised to start taking them, with the caveat that if I suffer side effects bad enough to make me feel miserable I will stop taking them.

I have been to physio, this morning and had my cording massaged,(that is a stringy nobbly  line of what feels like scar tissue under the skin in my armpit that is making stretching my arm, fully, quite painful) it does feel a bit easier, and she says it may go away by itself in the next two weeks but I have an appointment to see her again if it hasn't gone.  She has also given me strategies to alleviate the hypersensitivity in my underarm. These are the only things still hurting from the second operation now, except for where my drain was attached, that itches like mad and feels sore under the skin when I scratch the itch. I'm hoping they will all improve in the near future. 

I haven't got my appointment with the oncologist yet. I'm quite happy about that, it is a bit more respite, but the kids made me phone to chase it up. Apparently the letter to the oncologist has gone and they are just waiting for a reply.

I haven't even thought about Christmas yet, except for buying my daughter's big present, a cordless hedge trimmer as she has been using mine for the last few months. I got a message yesterday telling me who I'm buying for in our secret Santa. There are five of us who celebrate Christmas and birthdays together, have done for years, and we do a secret Santa to save us money, we are not allowed to spend more than £10. 

Hi Sam,

I hope you are feeling better.  My Christmas cards are anything but tasteful,  This Year, for some reason my imagination is not working too well so I've just done three robins singing We wish you a Merry Christmas.  It's ok, not exactly art but it's not hideous either. I do the original on a large base, then photograph it and print off the photo in card size, then I go over the picture with whatever medium I used to make it look original again.  It keeps me off the streets. I then painstakingly stick the picture on to pre-folded cards from the shop. So far the recipients have all said they like them, of course they could be lying!!

Take care, both of you

Christine xx

Christine

Yep, pickle sums it up quite nicely...you'll be glad to hear that the feet do feel like they are (slowly) recovering so that is good & positive.  I'd happily lose other body parts (boobs, organs, an ear perhaps) but pain-free feet are so important for life.  Anyhoo I've not been de-feeted (I sadly laugh at my own pathetic jokes, they are the best however!).

Am hoping I came cajole the poor boyfriend into many hours of foot massage tomorrow night, I deserve it after all!  Might have to bribe him with tales of Christmas presents (that he's not getting).

Re your new thread, my point of view (and its the same with these blummin feet) is I would always be willing to take a risk re longevity to have quality of life, what's the point of life if its not enjoyable?  Obviously only my opinion, but I happen to think I'm right !!??!!  So I understand your dilemma regarding having the hormone tablets for a 2% benefit.

You'll obviously make an informed choice following discussion with onc but I do think it's important to do what's best for you & your particular circumstances, rather than just receive a one size fits all solution (which with treatment I do feel we get).

Ooo decorations a week before Christmas, I like it but given that it takes me over an hour to put up the decks I do want to get value for money (well my time), its another tight northern trait of mine...so up to the loft (using the craziest ladder, that's more likely to get me than BC!).

Following the tight northern comment above you'll not be surprised to know that recycling and me are good bedfellows so am vvv impressed by your project, hopefully Joey is well impressed too?  I have a similar project to do possibly over Christmas, I love fabrics, very expensive ones unfortunately, and have some roman blinds that I replaced earlier this year where the silk (get me!  Very un-northern like) had faded over time (too blummin sunny down here), I plan to make cushions using the fabric in between the faded patches, I've borrowed a sewing machine (used to use one when I was a teen to patch the inner thighs of my jeans) and we'll see what disaster awaits.  On the plus side I can only waste what would be waste otherwise...how difficult can it be??

Am interested to know how the dogs get on with Joey.  When growing up we used to have a parrot that was a nightmare and terrorised not only ankles (we used to watch TV in wellies) but the stupid poodles (all sizes and very unkempt) that my mother adored.

Sam X

Caroline

Last one...yayyyy!  If I was at all technically astute I'd put a champagne bottle popping on here, but I'm not & I'm a lazy good for nothing muppet so do please use your imagination.  And obviously have bottles of the real thing, that's a good excuse for being ill rather than it being caused by cancer treatment side effects!!

I do hope you're still out, & will be all weekend celebrating, you deserve it.  Hope the first Christmas meal was a goodie, its my office Christmas party tonight but the food doesn't appeal plus the thought of trying to stuff my poor feet into decent shoes (owww) so am on the sofa in me jimjams.

A holistic follow up?  What on earth?  I'm intrigued, please do tell me more if you do go ahead, as a proper northerner I do tend to *** a snoop at such stuff, but sometimes am pleasantly surprised so do try & have a (sort of) open mind.

Luckily for me I excel at drinking water so that would not be an issue re. Radiotherapy but the resting bit depends on their definition, I for one find walking quite restful...glad that your skin has come through radiology unscathed, I'm armed with arrays of heavy duty moisturiser just in case.

Can I clear something up as am confused & surprised...dust decorations?  You're using the wrong ones.  Mind you when I dust in my house there's usually a good few centimetres to get through..

Enjoy!

Sam X

Hiya!

I have finished the table, actually I did less to it than I thought I would as I ran out of steam. I have placed it against a different wall, and the cage fits perfectly. 

Joey likes to have a fly round and when it was just Faith and Smudge I was able to leave his door open most of the time. Joey wasn't a bit bothered by the dogs and they weren't interested in him even when he divebombed them. They would just look at him without curiosity.

Archie, however is a different dog! He has been fascinated by Joey from the start, and would climb up on the arm of the sofa next to the cage to try to get at him and if Joey flew around Archie would try to catch him.  This meant I had to keep poor Joey caged most of the time, and would open his cage only as the dogs and I were going out.  If he was still out when we got back I would keep the dogs out of the living room until he went back. I would tell him it was time to go home and he would soon fly back to his cage.

When my son comes he brings his little dog with him and she is even more fascinated by the bird than Archie and is constantly climbing up to try to get in the cage.  This is why it seemed a good idea to move the cage to another wall where it was less accessible to the dogs.

The other day, when we returned from our morning walk, I opened the living room door to find Joey still sitting in his favourite place on a large mirror that looks like a window with nine panes.  He likes to sit on the wooden frame and talk to the bird on the other side of the glass.  I told him it was time to go home and left the room.  I wanted to watch Landscape Artist of the Year, which I get on my Now TV box attached to the TV in the bedroom, so I left Joe for another hour, while the dogs and I stayed in the bedroom. I live in a one bedroom bungalow, so we were only in the next room.  

I had forgotten that the bird was still out when I went back into the living room with Archie and he was still sitting on the mirror!  Well, Archie went mad!  He climbed onto the armchair just below the mirror and made a grab for him, fortunately Joe hopped up onto the next level but made no attempt to go home.  I tried to grab him and he flew up to sit on top of a picture, laughing at Archie, I swear, while I was desperately trying to keep the dog down while trying to grab the budgie to get him to the cage  

.I decided to grab Archie, instead of Joey and sat him on my lap, at the other side of the room holding on tight while Joey had a whale of a time flying round the room and dive bombing him.

Eventually, when he got tired he flew back to his cage and went in, smirking at us. He had been out for more than two hours! Little buzzer!

Nice to have something different to write about, thanks for asking!

Christine xx

That has really made me chuckle :D We had a budgie when we were kids. We used to let him out to fly around the room but didn't have any dogs or cats ! 
Well I have had a lovely quiet weekend, which has been lovely as the past 2 have been manic. I felt pretty crap on Friday night but I'd been busy all day and think I burnt myself out! 
Sam - holistic follow up it seems is just a type of counselling - you have a questionnaire asking about physical, mental well being and then they can offer you support. Told them I'm fine, that I have plenty of friends to chat to. I was also offered a 'moving on after breast cancer' course but turned that down too. Maybe it's being Northern but breast cancer hasn't actually stopped me from moving on with life while I've had it. Maybe if my journey had been harder it may be different but I'm just looking forward now to life without breast cancer!! 
But I am still here to offer support to you lovely ladies as I do love to hear how you are both doing!

Caroline xx

Morning both

Sooo happy, at meeting yesterday onc agreed (though it wasn't her preferred option) to put me back on my chemo bff, EC, no more hurry feet...yay!

So have the chemo scheduled for Thurs and then final one 27th Dec...the countdown is on.

I went crazy and had a tonic to celebrate (sad I know...).

Christine - your Joey sounds like me, gets great pleasure from annoying those who its easy to get a rise from (generally southern drivers in my case).  By the sounds of those naughty dogs am hoping the little table is quite a tall one.

We nearly had a mouse incident here last night which involved me setting the hoover onto the cat to get him to drop the mouse, my challenge was then what if its still alive and goes under the furniture, luckily (??) it had already met its maker....the dilemma is then which bin for a dead mouse (food, general or recycling)?  Decisions, decisions...

So Caroline what awaits you now?  Are you in any rush to go back to work FT?  Are you like me and are (sort of) evaluating options, the cancer having bought some well needed perspective to your life?  Am actually in the office today and am looking forward to seeking my colleagues and chatting all day, days in the office are my least productive time.  Glad to know you're still loitering despite being in the land of the free (!!), how you doing on the tamoxifen then?

So got a pal from York joining me for tomorrow's session which as its not the evil paclitaxel will be shorter but will involve more meds and the injections but still far better than foot-gate, they're still getting better very slowly and now feel like the time post pins & needles and still can't wear some footwear comfortably (and have an Imelda Marcos collection that needs wearing).

Hope your advent calendars are proving bountiful.  The cats have one each (I wouldn't waste money on the little critters, blame my mother) though they're not enamoured by the "treats" whilst I have (as am spoilt) a herbal tea one (how do they manage 24 different flavours, love Pukka) and a Sara Miller one full of body goodies with no nasty chemicals (though far too much packaging!)...never happy and so ungrateful!

Right better get my falsies on - just eyelashes so far!  Eyebrows are at 20% capacity and eyelashes a little more.  So I don't feel (or look) like a drag queen have given them a serious trim so don't look quite as bonkers as I could.  RuPaul will not be enlisting me any time soon am glad to report.

Have fun ladies...but not too much as will feel vvv jealous X

Morning both

Sooo happy, at meeting yesterday onc agreed (though it wasn't her preferred option) to put me back on my chemo bff, EC, no more hurry feet...yay!

So have the chemo scheduled for Thurs and then final one 27th Dec...the countdown is on.

I went crazy and had a tonic to celebrate (sad I know...).

Christine - your Joey sounds like me, gets great pleasure from annoying those who its easy to get a rise from (generally southern drivers in my case).  By the sounds of those naughty dogs am hoping the little table is quite a tall one.

We nearly had a mouse incident here last night which involved me setting the hoover onto the cat to get him to drop the mouse, my challenge was then what if its still alive and goes under the furniture, luckily (??) it had already met its maker....the dilemma is then which bin for a dead mouse (food, general or recycling)?  Decisions, decisions...

So Caroline what awaits you now?  Are you in any rush to go back to work FT?  Are you like me and are (sort of) evaluating options, the cancer having bought some well needed perspective to your life?  Am actually in the office today and am looking forward to seeking my colleagues and chatting all day, days in the office are my least productive time.  Glad to know you're still loitering despite being in the land of the free (!!), how you doing on the tamoxifen then?

So got a pal from York joining me for tomorrow's session which as its not the evil paclitaxel will be shorter but will involve more meds and the injections but still far better than foot-gate, they're still getting better very slowly and now feel like the time post pins & needles and still can't wear some footwear comfortably (and have an Imelda Marcos collection that needs wearing).

Hope your advent calendars are proving bountiful.  The cats have one each (I wouldn't waste money on the little critters, blame my mother) though they're not enamoured by the "treats" whilst I have (as am spoilt) a herbal tea one (how do they manage 24 different flavours, love Pukka) and a Sara Miller one full of body goodies with no nasty chemicals (though far too much packaging!)...never happy and so ungrateful!

Right better get my falsies on - just eyelashes so far!  Eyebrows are at 20% capacity and eyelashes a little more.  So I don't feel (or look) like a drag queen have given them a serious trim so don't look quite as bonkers as I could.  RuPaul will not be enlisting me any time soon am glad to report.

Have fun ladies...but not too much as will feel vvv jealous X

Hi Sam, 

oh that is good news! Chemo must be tough enough as it is without another extra side effects to worry about!

i am off up to York this weekend on a girlie, Christmas shopping weekend so hoping my tiredness doesn't stop me from having fun! 
I only work part time - I do 4 days a week, 5 hours a day so haven't had to stop working at all. In fact I did have to keep telling my line manager that I would probably be sitting still more at work than I would at home.

i have started the tamoxifen - took the dip on Sunday. I've decided to take them before bed. So I am 4 days in. Luckily no side effects yet but I am so exhausted by the time I go to bed, I am sleeping through the night sweats ( something I was already familiar with). My GP won't give me a repeat subscription just yet as will want to know how I'm getting on first. Fingers crossed I don't get any side effects!! 
My lovely hubby got me an advent calendar too - a gin one!! I am stock piling them to take on the train journey to York!! 

Good to hear you are rocking the the false lashes!! I find them like wearing spiders on my eyes!! 
Christine - how are you doing?

Caroline xx

Hi Ladies,

Well done, Sam, for getting your chemo changed and well done Caroline for biting the bullet and starting the Tamoxifen. I hope you both do well on them. 

Yes, Sam, the budgie table is the height of the dining table, so too high for Archie to reach the bird cage from the floor. 

I'm still waiting for my oncology appointment - I'm expecting the kids to get on my case about it but they haven't said anything yet. I got the letter today, that the nurse sent to my GP in which she called my questions about the value of further treatment versus the side effects at my age "very valid". I think that has consoled the son and daughter somewhat, knowing she didn't think I was going gaga!

I think you'll find York to be very busy, Caroline.  We went, at this time, a few years ago and couldn't get in for lunch anywhere, so sat in the market square eating hot takeaway food. Have fun!!

i still have done nothing about Christmas apart from making my cards  I am seriously thinking the decorations might stay in their boxes, this year. I'll put the tree up but that might be the sum total of my efforts. My daughter never decorates although she works on getting presents for dozens of people all year long. I usually get together a big hamper for my son and his partner, starting in September - I think I'll have to try Fortnum's this year. 

Christine xxx

Hope you are ok Christine? Your message doesn't sound as light hearted and up beat as usual :| Give them a call re your appointment. Are you worried about it? 
Caroline xx

Hi Caroline,

I'm fine. I am confused about the delay in my next appointment after the express train that is cancer care at the beginning. I did call the nurses today and had a return call this afternoon. There was no appointment on the system so she rang the oncologist's secretary to chase it up. Hopefully I should hear from them by Monday or Tuesday, if not I am to ring again.

 It just seems strange as everyone I speak to has already seen their oncologist. Is it because I didn't just accept what I was told and dared to challenge, have I just fallen through the net or am I being paranoid?  I'm not worried, as such, but it does take up too much of my mental energy. I have a page full of questions to be answered, and until they are answered I can't make up my mind as to future treatment.  So the longer it takes, the more I think and read and listen to other people and their experiences.  It's a bit like that time at the beginning when you think you might   have cancer but are waiting for the results of all the tests, then once you know what's what and start doing something about it you can start thinking about something else.

I probably feel sorry for myself as I'm struggling to do much walking because my knee is very painful at the moment, so I'm not getting out with the dogs as much as I would like and I still have Christmas shopping to do.  Hopefully I will get some of that done tomorrow. The good news is I am reading again.  Reading was all I wanted to do in the weeks before my diagnosis but since the first surgery I couldn't get into a book for love or money.  That has changed thanks to my daughter sending me a Janet Evanovitch's Stephanie Plum book.  I have followed the whole series and love them and this latest one was no exception  when I had finished that (in about 3.5 hours) I couldn't wait to charge my Kindle again so I could chose another book to read the next day.

i don't really feel down, I'm just not quite as up as usual. It was lovely of you to care.

Christine xxx

Caroline

Dead jealous about your shopping trip to York, haven't been up north as much as would have wanted this year and then the whole cancer malarkey made it more challenging, plus pals from round there have been coming to see me (which is great).  Will make amends when all done though and am planning to go up for a weekend in Jan pre surgery to get all my pals together and take them out for a thank you meal - that's one of my chores for the weekend to organise.

Well done for starting on the new meds, I hope you're still side effect free.  What stage of menopause were you before you started?  The reason I ask is that no-one seems to know if I am peri or post menopausal as did have night sweats etc for a bit but then it seemed to stop so not quite sure what to expect quite frankly.

My pal from York got the same gin advent calendar as you, makes the train journey that much more fun with some alcohol (and a good book) I find.

The eyelashes have good and bad days, they have a tendency to want to try & depart my face later in the day though no major crisis to date, usually its the inner side that's creating issues. I think I might be better using superglue I reckon. I decided that my poor eyesight (have reading specs) isn't helping so got a super magnifying mirror that is well scary...apparently I am no longer the fairest in the land at 5 x magnification!

Christine

I think putting the tree up is quite an effort ( I didn't even get that far last year, just couldn't be bothered).

Sorry you're feeling a bit down and I had a similar incident re appointment waiting, I managed to get it organised myself in effect by calling the BCN enquiringly when it was likely to be- its the appointment with surgeon that I'm progressing and it sounds like you've done the same re the onc appointment, it just needs doing sometime I think as unfortunately these places & people are just way too busy, doesn't help us does it?  Hey ho.

And I think the challenge couldn't be the reason why you're not being seen, particularly given my recent feet challenge I strongly believe that its great to challenge and more people should do as they may get more suitable treatments rather than a one size fits all program.  Its also pants your knee is also giving you jip, that's like my feet preventing me from doing what I want so know how you feel, it really does affect your quality of life.  Strangely the same pal from York has duff knees and there's no surgery that can fix just manage through exercise and physiology exercises but needs devoted time (something she is on short supply of).  Anyway hope your onc appointment day confirmation arrives soon.  On the plus side if it is suggested and you agree its right for you I can attempt, and will be more than happy to answer your queries ( ball on other foot & all that).

Am jealous re your reading as still haven't got any further in my Lee Child in the past 3 months despite it taunting me from the kitchen surface, just can't concentrate or enjoy it anymore and this makes no sense.  And I blummin love reading like yourself.  The Steph Plum books sound interesting but not enough blood & serial killers for my liking (and luckily my liking is not for everyone).

Hope you both have a good weekend, its chores, planning and some early Sunday morning gymming for me while I have my good medicated EC days prior to potentially (though not very) rough week next week.

Sam X

Hi ladies, how is life treating you both? My tiredness is more intermittent now but I'm very emotional at the mo! Cry at the drop of a hat!! Just been told I need to take calcium and vit D tablets following my bone density scan. Don't seem be very reliable at taking my tamoxifen either! Think it's a bit of forgetfulness and then thinking "oh well".  Life is busy as usual. Finish work on Thursday then I've got 2 weeks off.  Hope everything is ok with you both? 
Caroline.  Xx

Caroline

Hi there, I'm similar and think its the impact or side effect of chemo, so emotional, its worrying as usually I am the least emotional person.  Also am feeling the cumulative impact of chemo very much this time, last week was a write off, just felt so tired with zero energy, and so wanted to get out & about on bike.

Count-down to last chemo now on, its on 27th Dec so am hoping will be back on some sort of form for a small Christmas feast.  My taste buds have also blinking well disappeared so have been trying to tantalise them, last attempt was tartiflette , did not work.  Am hoping a trip to my favourite indian tomorrow will do the trick.

Got my appointment with surgeon tomorrow so have a long list of questions and will find out surgery date so things progressing well on that front, also off to chiropodist Weds as feet still pants with peripheral neuropathy, its very slowly improving so am hoping the chiropodist can help with the annoyance...going through quite a lot of Vicks vaporub so surprising I feel I have a cold coming on (not sure if I should be worried??).

Also had bad news at weekend, a pal with stage 4 lung cancer took a turn and was admitted for end of life stuff, morphine, damp sponge on lips & all that, sounds absolutely barbaric that they can't just help things along for the sake of the person & their family.  Anyway she's in a much better place now thankfully no matter what one believes.

Can't believe its blummin' Christmas next week, am just hoping that I have some energy, did however invest in some lovely jimjams as suspect during surgery & rads will be spending a fair amount of time in them.

I will also have to take oestrogen tablets at end of this palaver. Already take what you've been advised for same reason ( I have crohns that affects bones too), not sure my bones will be able to take more onslaught to them! And more emotion too, well that's just great eh?

Enjoy your 2 weeks off, hope you're doing something fabby...

Christine 

Hope life is treating you well and that you sorted your oncologist and your knee is better.

X

Hi ladies,

You both sound to be going through it at the moment. I think our period of grace has come to an end.  You have my deepest sympathy with what you are going through. Hopefully the surgery shouldn't be as horrible as your chemo, Sam. 

I have finally got my appointment to see he oncologist - this Thursday, and an hour later I should be measured up for my permanent falsie, however, yesterday I had to have 750mls of lymph fluid drained off my non boob as it had filled up and felt like a tyre full of air about to burst.  The nurse said if it isn't as flat as it is now, by Thursday, I should postpone the measuring up, as it would not be a correct fit.

My knee is a nightmare, exacerbated by having to walk half a mile to pick up my car from the garage last week, then having to walk miles through car parks and corridors at the hospital yesterday due to no spaces then a broken lift.  Today I had a phone call from the NHS physio service and got an appointment for an assessment - on Feb 17th!  I belong to Benenden and have only used them once, so I phoned them and they have booked me a telephone assessment with a qualified physiotherapist for tomorrow morning and a guarantee that I would get a face to face appointment if deemed necessary as soon as possible  It may be that I only need guided exercises to do at home, but targeted ones, not just the general ones I have been doing with no effect.

Had dramatic weekend after Archie tried to eat himself to death by munching his way through a kilo of bird suet pellets, then  finding himself a nice juicy toxic grape. I had to drive him to the emergency vet 26 miles away at 1 o'clock in the morning on Friday 13th . With the dark and teeming rain it took me an hour of driving round to find the place. At the time I only knew about the grape, it was an X-ray later in the day that showed up the bird food, after his stomach started swelling.  Eventually he had to have it washed out to remove what was in the stomach itself then medicine to make him poo the rest out!!!  He was kept in until 7pm Saturday and has seemed ok since then.  He is going for a checkup in about an hour. He seems very well in himself, apparently stuffing himself with the bird food protected him from the damage the grape could have done if it had been ingested rather than thrown up.

i will let you know what transpires from my meeting with the oncologist, 

Christine xx

Christine,

Whilst it’s great to hear from you sorry to hear of your ongoing challenges.  It just seems to be one thing after another!  You must be tired and I hope you get some respite soon.

You know my thoughts on drains so your tale of the 750mls makes my feet go even more tender…luckily feet are on a turn for the better the last few days.  Am actually not too bad, maybe I’m just laying on too thickly, although that said I was thickening it up big time as composed a mail to the CEO of the hospital where am being treated to challenge their apparent policy re not using ports for having contrast during MRIs…told him I would be “terrified” (!!) over Christmas at the thought of another unnecessary cannulation in Jan..Don’t think I’ve been terrified of anything other than hard work…

How’s the contacting others re hormone tablets going?

Let us know what the oncologist has to say, I do hope there’s no further treatment as you’ve been through quite a lot already and there’s still quite a lot ongoing.  My surgery will be fine, am feeling good at the thought (despite all the drain shenanigans…think that’s the chemo equivalent of having to inject self, not something I’d choose to do but needs must) although found out yesterday (mess up at hospital apparently) that not seeing surgeon later today as it needs to be after MRI in Jan,...so now 15th Jan, by which time will have probably doubled the 26 questions I already have – serves them right!

Good luck with your falsie, given I will be reconstructed (all be it delayed) I would have thought that I won’t get one and will have a more temporary affair (sock in a bra stylie?).

I can’t believe given your knee you walked so far, why didn’t your generally over-protective offspring come to your rescue?  There when you don’t need them and not there when you do, kids eh? (actually they sound more like Nanny McFee).  Glad you’re taking advantage of your private medical as mid Feb is ridiculous, better all-round the option you’ve taken I believe.

And obviously you need the extra challenge of your dog, so glad he’s ok but what a daft (and greedy!) dog, I bet that was a cheap procedure too eh? Over the years have spent small fortunes on the daft animals I’ve had but wouldn’t have it any other way.  I also did not know that grapes were toxic for dogs, as I was reading I was expecting tales of chocolate given time of year so a more healthy option was a surprise.  You’re both lucky that you noticed as easy for things to go unnoticed until things get more serious, you must be relieved,  And I do hope that the birds are not planning their revenge…reminds me I’d better top up the feeders for the , generally, sparrows, but also goldfinches, parakeets (they’re everywhere down here and are gluttons), starlings and less so a woodpecker (great spotted) – what do you get visiting (apart from the naughty Archie of course)?

Where are you spending Christmas? I do hope somebody is feeding and spoiling you as cooking with a dodgy knee is not the greatest – and that’s from someone who would never entertain cooking Christmas dinner for anyone!  I’ll always be a hanger-onner in that respect, the poor ever-suffering boyfriend will be waiting on me hand & foot, just still annoyed that won’t be quaffing as much fizz as I physically can…I will however make up in my planned-to-be-extremely-moist January (when hopefully taste buds are back in town). Can’t believe Christmas is next week. I’ve just got the wrapping to do now (they all end up looking like fish & chip offerings) which allows one of the cats to continually attack the wrapping paper – oh its great fun (for the cat!), I’ll do it whilst watching Elf (favourite festive film) and given heightened emotions will have tissues at the ready, don’t want to produce papier mache after all.  My mother is coming up from Southampton to join the Christmas day fun (!!??) and will be accompanying my on my last chemo (still a big yay) 27th…unfortunately this may mean that she stays with me for 3 days, this will be a challenging time to say the least, I’ve bought her Ben Stokes book of summer cricket nonsense (I’ll never get it) and Eric Idle’s biography (she love Monty Python) so hopefully those will keep her occupied…if not will resort to being ill!

Please do keep your chin up.  Annoying positivity still abounds here I’m afraid.

Sam X

Christine

Hope it all went well today.

X