I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ️

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Hi Christine, I think they would have said you had lobular cancer, not globular. This is the same as I have. I was told I had grade 2 lobular cancer in July. Lobular cancer doesn’t show up on a mammogram so often need an MRI. My scan showed it was bigger than the ultra sound showed. I had a partial mastectomy with reconstruction in the middle of August. When I went back for the results, 2 weeks later, unfortunately not all my margins were clear so have had a second op just over a week ago. Now waiting for results again! My surgeon told me that one positive thing about lobular cancer is that it doesn’t respond well to chemo so hopeful that I won’t need any. She did tell me that it responds really well to hormone therapy - so I will need tamoxifen for 10 years. So sorry to hear about your dog xx

Hi,

You are absolutely right, it is lobular. I didn't even notice I had written globular!  Did you choose to have a partial mastectomy? Were you given a choice? How are you doing after the second op? I hope you are not in too much discomfort and I really hope they have got clear margins this time. 

I wasn't told that our kind of cancer doesn't respond to chemo, but I quite like the idea of not needing it. What's ten years of Tamoxifen between friends? I would only be in my eighties by then, lol!  Hopefully I will know a bit more, soon. Needle aspiration results should be back tomorrow although I've been told not to ring until Tuesday. I haven't heard about the MRI scan yet, so I'm still in limbo. The waiting is a bore but at least life is still relatively normal for now. 

Good luck for your results and subsequent care plan. 

Sadly I had to do right by my little Faith yesterday and let her cross the Rainbow bridge.  I changed my avatar today in memory of her.

Christine

Hi Christine, oh I am sorry to hear the news about your dog. We have a springer spaniel who is just like one of my kids!

I didn’t get to choose my op. My surgeon is a specialist in doing this type of breast conservation surgery. She has said though, that if the margins are not clear again then I will need to have a mastectomy, although she seemed very positive that they could get it all out. They went in through my initial wound so has been more sore this time but I am back to work tomorrow. They did sign me off for 3 weeks but I’m going stir crazy after having a week off and need some normality! I’m back on the 24th for results. They also sent off a sample of my tumour to have the oncotype test. It gives a recurrence score which then indicates whether chemo would be beneficial but my surgeon feels quite confident that I won’t need any. Fingers crossed!!  Hopefully you won’t have to wait too long for your MRI

Caroline x

Hi Caroline, 

i can relate to your need for normality. I am the same, it's the potential change to my normality that annoys me about this thing. I am long retired so have built a very satisfactory routine for myself, mostly centred round reading, painting and dog walking. I "work" four days a week looking after my canine grandson, and I have my own Sheltie boy. Of course we are in mourning this week for Faith, but life still goes on. I imagine that, once I get all the results in, that will change for a while. 

I feel that I want a double mastectomy, especially since there is something going on in the other breast. I was told I would need a psychological assessment before I could get permission for this??? I couldn't believe that.  I am old enough to know I can live with a flat chest without going into a despond. It's not as though I need them any more. I've done my breastfeeding 50 years ago and I don't plan to do any more. I don't have anyone else who would miss them, either, so they can go! If I was younger it might be different and I totally agree with conservation in appropriate cases. 

Hopefully I will get some more results this week. I phoned my key worker today to see what's the procedure for getting them as my son thinks I'll get them by phone tomorrow, only to be told she's on holiday and they are not allowed to give results over the phone. I may have to wait until after the MRI scan to get any further information. It's a waiting game, again. I hate to think what that's like for someone who is really worried.   I'm more worried about how much my car insurance is going to go up because I scraped another car in the supermarket car park soon after I renewed (and changed company) last year. There was very little damage to the other car and none to mine but it went through the insurance right at the tail end of my last policy.

Good luck for your next results, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Christine

Hi Sam,

Are you ok now? I didn't ask why you were in hospital, (self centred b***h that I am) but hopefully you are doing better now. 

I do live in a quiet cul de sac so the occasional doggy visit to neighbours isn't too scary. Sadly, I only have two to keep tabs on, now. The lovely, feisty bossy girl that was Faith went across the Rainbow bridge on Saturday so I'm In mourning this week. You are right about my having quality neighbours, though, one of them came round with flowers for me, yesterday, to cheer me up! 

Christine

Hi Christine,

Your reply did make me chuckle. My boobs are on the small side so if I needed one whipped off, I’m fine about that. The waiting is the hardest part by far!!! I am back at work again but obviously not doing much if I’m on here .  Fingers crossed your get your results and a date for an MRI scan soon!! And I saw that you are a fellow Northerner. I am originally from South Yorkshire but now live in Hampshire, where I have been for 30 years now.

Caroline x

Christine

So very sorry to read about your dog, it saddens me to read, I'm one of those hardened individuals who can cope on the TV with people dying in films but if an animal dies or is injured bring on the tears...and can't watch wildlife documentaries for the same reason. Thoughts with you.

Like your sisters mantra a lot, have been lucky that all hospital staff have been on my level so far so no patronising or going over board, just been good at explaining things, very patient and when I've asked been very blunt! 

Like you I want both breasts removed although only have benign stuff in LHS, wanting some symmetry, think I will however have reconstruction...will add plastic surgery (that would have never had otherwise) on to my cancer adventure list. Using this as an opportunity to have a reduction as the current ones just get in the way of life generally!

Believe me I could give you a run for your money re self centred-ness! Re hospital stay it was just a high temp and neutropenic sepsis, felt fine apart from day admitted though stats said otherwise to had to hang about feeling like a fraud.

And since the Monday admitted 2 wks ago have felt on top of the world (this will not last into next week based on EC no 1 experience however when expect to be a bit up & down with constipation...lovely).

It's great to have lovely neighbours, a very underrated thing I find, I live opposite a lovely couple who are paramedics (may come in handy?) who have offered to help in any way they can which is lovely to hear.

Hope you results materialise soon!

Caroline

Although no one wishes to have cancer bet you feel lucky to have missed the joy that is chemo, it's a pain but does make for a most ' interesting ' time! As am oestrogen positive will be joining you in the tamioxfen next year for lord knows how long.

Am attempting to work during time off for treatment to avoid brain turning to total mush (not sure my strategy is working yet however) proving quite difficult to squeeze things in though, but I pat myself on the back for at least trying so good on you for doing the same in the early days.

Nice to have someone from the motherland on the thread, I'm more north & west yorks but have many pals in south yorks...miss the yorkshireness but plan to return in the not too distant future.  My mother also lives near new forest in Hampshire, you've done like me and defected, any plans to return?

Got PORT fitting next week, as have MSSA (distant cousin of MRSA, who knew & great!) having to be ultra clean ( God its hard work when you've always erred on being a vvv good non-domestic goddess!), hopefully it will go ahead as veins are getting worse and at chemo Thurs the naughty bugg4ars kept collapsing on the poor nurses.

Have MRI Fri to see of pesky lumps are doing what they should be and assuming actually have some hair left (am moulting worse than my cats pre summer) a hairdressing appointment Thurs (have told hairdresser that if he's s not gentle with me I'll not be a good advert leaving the salon bald and all!).

Good to hear all well re cancer shenanigans, keep it up! Have a good week both.

Sam X

Hi Sam,

How are you getting on with your treatment? I had my results yesterday and was so relieved to find I didn’t need anymore surgery and my oncotype test came back with a score of 16 so no benefit from having chemo! So relieved! Got to have radiotherapy so seeing the oncologist on the 8th. Got my prescription for tamoxifen, which I took to my GP’s. Didn’t realise until yesterday, that as a cancer sufferer, we are entitled to an exempt certificate! No prescription costs for 5 years, and then the 5 years after that, I hope! Chemist didn’t have correct pills so needed to get a dr to re do my prescription! Was a proper palaver!! A friend of mine was told that taking tamoxifen while having radio can make the side affects worse, but my surgeon just said I should start taking them straight away! Now I’m unsure what to do and might leave it until I have seen the oncologist, to see what he says. Hope you are doing ok with your chemo?

Christine - have you had any results/MRI scan yet?

Caroline x

Hi Sam and Caroline,

Good luck with your MRI, Sam, and SO glad you don't need any more surgery, and no chemo!  Way to go, Caroline !!! 

My results have all come in looking as positive as possible considering I've got cancer. I have now met my surgeon, yesterday and have a date for my mastectomy.  I tried really hard to persuade him to take both breasts at the same time, and although he agreed with my reasons, he said, unfortunately he was restricted to following protocols which prevented him from obliging.  Bah!  He did try hard to encourage me to have lumpectomy with reconstruction and offered to do a reduction on both  breasts for symmetry. My reply was that he could give me symmetry by whipping them both off at the same time. 

Anyway D day is 4th October, exactly a month to the date since my mammogram etc. I'm quite pleased to hear it can be done as a day case, although today I have been told to phone the ward the evening before just in case I have to go in that evening to be sure I have a bed???

I found out yesterday that I should not have had the #%€$¥ MRI scan if I had already said I wanted a mastectomy- which I did, loud and clear.  

My surgeon is very nice and quite funny. When he was trying to sell me the lumpectomy I said I didn't think I needed a reconstruction at my age - 73 at the New Year - he told us about a 68 year old lady who was delighted with her reduction and uplift, saying it was the first time she'd seen her nipples in years!!

I don't like the sound of the radioactive dye injection I need the day before my surgery and I think he was joking when he said I would probably turn blue as the dye was leaving my system. I'm going to turn into a Smurf!!!

Today I've had all my appointments by phone, so the treadmill has started,

Bring it on!

Famous last words from someone who has been grumpy all week because I've got a cough and cold!

The outdoor wedding was wonderful with sensational weather making it perfect. The field was dry underfoot, which had been in doubt, the bride was beautiful, the speeches were funny, the food was plentiful and delicious and the booze was flowing. Who could ask for more?

 Christine 

That’s all brilliant Christine! I had a partial mastectomy with a reconstruction but I am only 48. The blue dye does give you a blue tinge and you have blue wee for a couple of days afterwards. I also have a couple of blue patches even now - 6 weeks later! I had mine done as a day case, so it was lovely to sleep in my own bed - but did go home with a drain fitted.  Let us know how it all goes!! 

Caroline x

That’s all brilliant Christine! I had a partial mastectomy with a reconstruction but I am only 48. The blue dye does give you a blue tinge and you have blue wee for a couple of days afterwards. I also have a couple of blue patches even now - 6 weeks later! I had mine done as a day case, so it was lovely to sleep in my own bed - but did go home with a drain fitted.  Let us know how it all goes!! 

Caroline x

Caroline

I didn't even know there was such thing as oncology scores, amazes me how much I know about this shenanigans and yet how much I (and most people I suspect) don't know..its quite an education isn't it?

Really glad you don't need chemo, I think for most just the thought of cancer, whether its a baddie or not is enough never mind radio, surgery and possibly chemo.  That said I think I must be decidedly odd (a bit of a martyr perhaps?) as am sure if I was being "denied" chemo I'd probably feel that I missed out on an experience - that said I can only say that as am doing very well so far on it, were I feeling absolutely cr4p am sure it would be a different kettle of fish.

Anyway, back to you (always a struggle to not ramble on about ME!) given some of the decidedly unpleasant side effects I read about chemo be ECSTATIC!

Yeah, I was told about the FOC prescription thing by breast cancer nurse but it does seem in some cases to be a well kept secret, and its for all prescriptions not just cancer related.  

I think I'll be on tamoxifen too at the end of this adventure, let me know how you get on and hope the conflicting advice is now resolved.

Christine

MRI later this morning, with contrast, can't remember if that's the one where you feel like you've peed yourself...something to look forward to!

Port is in and still a bit sore but not stopping me working/baking/walking...having a very productive week thankfully, even better than post 1st EC, injections of GSF (or maybe some other letter..I lose track of drugs/acronyms) that I've been doing may have helped?

That's a bit poo re your surgeon not wanting to get rid of both breasts, I wonder as I have benign bits in the other whether than would change their attitude, or go private perhaps?  What do you think?

4th Oct eh?  Don't turn up late or you may be lying on the floor in a corridor by the sounds of things..

Like the sound of your surgeon, it would be great if they could make me see nipples as well as lower down, currently covered by a very ample spare tyre...well in for a penny and all that!  

I had a radioactive dye (not one that turned me blue though!!) for one of my scans, can't say I felt any different although I did oddly develop the ability to project webs & swing from buildings for a short time...

Glad you had a fab time at the wedding, you more than deserve it given what has happened with poor dog & what's up & coming, quite jealous that you drank also as used to love booze but can't stand the thought of it currently...and am sooo missing my stinky blue cheese too...its these things that would make me cry if I wasn't so "brave", food rather than cancer eh...you can see where my interests lie!

Anyway enough from me, need to get ready for hospital visit.  Have a jolly nice weekend both.

Am intrigued as to how both of you cope(d) with the surgery and in due course, radiotherapy, as have those to look forward to Jan/March-ish time.

Sam X

Hi Sam,

How mad but your comment about feeling like you’d missed out by not having chemo is exactly how I feel!! I’ve kind of breezed the whole thing so far and feel like I haven’t had the full ‘cancer’ experience!! It’s almost as though it’s all been a bit too easy and I feel like a fraud. Surgery was all ok actually. I felt really terrible the day after surgery but think that was the anaesthetic more than anything else. I was fine by the 2nd day! Most frustrating was not being able to drive but I just walked or went out on my bike! Good to hear you are coping with chemo so far! Fingers crossed you breeze through it.

Caroline xx

Christine

Tonnes of good wishes & luck for today, hope all goes well - let us know, especially as I'll be in the same position mid Feb.

Thanks Caroline, been so good this week out on my bike too, mind you most of the time is spent talking to dog walkers & neighbours!

The boyfriend says am looking so good he reckons that they're using tizer rather than the lovely looking red drain cleaner..he's so old school...

Round 3 next week so over the 1/2 way mark with EC, the the joys of paclitaxel to look forward to..yay, I hear great stories but given have been better than most on EC am sure this will carry on.

Best wishes to both 

Sam X

Hi Sam,

Thank you for your message, I couldn't reply earlier because I only took my phone into hospital with me and my login for this site was only set up on my iPad. 

My day case actually turned into two nights in hospital- the first night was just to guarantee my bed for the next day and I didn't go in until 8pm. But then it was mid afternoon before I went down for surgery and I take a long time coming round from anaesthetic so it was a given that I would be kept in for that night. My kids were really glad about that and to be honest I was so groggy for so long, I didn't want to move. My son was totally freaked out that evening and utterly amazed when they came in the next morning and I was up and running full of the joys of spring. There was no pain to speak of, I only had one drain, which I was hardly aware of, I had a dolly bag hanging round my neck for it, so I was able to move around freely.  In contrast was a lovely young woman who had also had a mastectomy AND was completely disabled with MS. I felt so sorry for her. She had to have everything done for her. It makes you think, there's always someone worse off than yourself. 

I was amused  to find there wasn't a softie big enough for me on the ward and I had to take the largest size they had which made me very lopsided, but I took it anyway. I was eventually discharged at lunchtime yesterday and for some reason I wanted a McDonald's so that's what I had for lunch.

I'm taking it easy this morning watching stuff I recorded on tv, waiting for the district nurse to come and empty my drain. I don't expect that to happen for a long time, being Sunday, but I have everything I need. I've told the kids I don't expect them to come this morning. My son is staying with my daughter in the next village, but he would have stayed with me last night if I'd wanted. 

My dog gave me the cold shoulder when they brought him back yesterday, for having abandoned him. He has become slavishly besotted to my son and would have gone with him last night if I'd allowed it. However, he came onto my bed after I went to the loo in the night and we have bonded again. A few cuddles, breakfast and and a few toast crumbs have brought him back to me. He's sleeping on the chair opposite me at the moment, opening a beady eye every so often to make sure I'm still here. 

So, Sam, nothing to worry about with the surgery, it doesn't look pretty but it is pretty painless. Today it's a bit sore where the bruising is coming out but nothing to fuss about.  I've got my appointment for follow up on the 17th, and Physio on the 21st, and I'm doing my exercises in the meantime.  I met some amazing people in there, including an 82 year old lady who looked so much like my mother did at the same age that it was spooky. I wish I'd asked if I could take a photo of her. If our paths cross again on this journey I will definitely ask for one. 

One fun aspect. I had a ring on my left hand that I had made for me in Sri Lanka about twenty years ago and it has never been off my finger since then and my arthritic knuckles had made it a permanent feature. As I was in prep for my surgery the said it had to come off, and if they couldn't get it off intact it may have to be cut off because if my hand swelled during surgery with it still on I could lose my finger.  I preferred to lose the ring rather than my finger so I gave them the go ahead to get it off. First they tried to get it off with paraffin wax and cotton, but it hurt so much I couldn't stand it. I thought it was about to be cut off but the anaesthetist said it had nearly come off and he was sure they could get it off without cutting it while I was asleep and they did!!  It was taped on my pinkie on the other hand when I woke up! Apparently it was the first thing I asked about But I don't remember that. 

Will find out on 17th what further treats await me, but hopefully I'm over the worst now. 

Christine xxx

Christine

Will write more fully later in week, as am rushing out, good you're sounding so positive and all went without hitches...well done you!

Even more glad the dog has forgiven you...

Sam X

Christine

Really glad you had such a "good" operation experience, I have to say am not overly bothered about that but the drain sounds yuck!  And its sad that there's always someone worse off than you but does help ground you as well as put things in perspective.

Strange how a day op managed to turn into 2 nights, I'd be quite happy with that just having discovered that my private healthcare pays me for using the NHS (that I would much rather use anyway), that would be 2 lots of £150 I'd rack up there!

Right I need to know what a softie is/does, sounds interesting...I've been out with a few of them in my youth (they did not last long!)

McDonalds eh? Although am not a veggie and enjoy lots of fish & a little meat every now & then I pride myself on never having had a McDonald's, have had a fillet o fish but never the burger (there must surely be an award for that?) but have a partner who would live on them if his trouser size would allow.  Am glad it hit the post-op spot!

I wonder does every person get a district nurse?  I seem to recall you're quite rural?  Am sort of surprised that with NHS funds being what they are they still have them, it is a really good resource to have but that doesn't stop cost cutting of course.

My cats are too clever to give me the cold shoulder (though will hate me when they go in the cattery in Nov for my jollies) as they know who to nag for food incessantly.

I too have recorded loads from the TV to watch if am tired/post op or radiography, series 2 of handmaids tale still awaits my attention.

Good choice of ring over finger!  It sounds like the most challenging part of the op was getting your ring off..good they did without damaging it.  Have you squeezed it back onto the same finger I wonder?

Re the 17th would you not know if you were going to have chemo etc. Or is this more making sure that margins were good?  I seem to recall that you're not going to be reconstructed?

All is still fine & dandy here, had results of MRI earlier and the lumps have done well and have shrunk so doc v happy with me & my progress..I put it down to healthy eating & a positive mental attitude. Also had first outing of port which is a complete god send, so much easier with rubbish viens like I have.  So no. 3 chemo tomorrow...still unsure as to cold cap as could save some of my grade 1 hair but is a bit of a pain...we shall see tomorrow.

Hope recovery, exercises, drain and everything still all good.

Sam X

Hi Sam,

 I'll try to address each point I see in your post before I go rambling on. 

i now realise that my children made very plain their feelings about my being sent home the same day of my surgery, which is presumably why they kept me in the extra night. 

The softie, or comfie, is a very light soft prosthesis, to go inside your bra, to go home with. It feels nice and comforting against the poorly skin. It would be great if it fitted, but I don't try to wear it because of the size. I cuddle a soft cushion instead.  Later I will be measured for a more permanent one. 

McDonald's: I still don't know why I asked for it, I didn't finish it or really enjoy it! Must have been drunk from anaesthetic!

District nurse: I think it is the cheaper, safer option for wound and drain care than keeping me in hospital until the drain is removed. It is standard for surgical discharge that needs further care. I don't think it is because I live rurally, although some of the info I have read said some people return to hospital every day for the drain to be emptied, another said patients can empty it themselves - go figure!

There is no chance of my ring ever going over the big knuckle again, it now fits my little finger, but as the knuckle isn't enlarged on that finger I don't feel it would stay on safely so it will just go back in the jewellery box. 

The follow up appointment on 17th is to find out what was found under the microscope after my surgery. I had a sentinel node biopsy at the same time so I'll learn on 17th if there was any cancer in those nodes. If so I may need further surgery to remove the others in my arm pit or they may decide on radiotherapy instead. Margins don't come into it as they've taken every bit of breast tissue, so there's nothing left.

My drain is still running free  I'm supposed to have it removed when there is less than 30mils draining over 24 hours, or on day 7  I'm currently running at over 100mils a day on nurse 's day 4 so I'll have to see what happens if it's still 100 mils  on day 7. It hasn't really been a problem, it tucks into a bag that I carry beneath my clothes. I have no trouble sleeping with it and I'm supposed to be able to shower with it, but I feel a bit nervous of climbing into the bath just yet so I have a body wash at the basin.

I'm doing fine, although it is getting painful where I used to have a boob, now the bruising is coming out causing pulling and burning sensations if I move wrongly, so I am actually taking the tablets! I don't usually take medication but I'm under orders from the kids. 

I feel I've got off easy so far, you've had so much treatment already. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it continues to go smoothly,  My choice of mastectomy was the right one for me but whether I will go for the second one is still to be decided.  

You're definitely right about the positive attitude, but I wish people would stop telling me how positive and strong I am because being scared and sad is not a sign of weakness it just means you're human and not quite so lucky.  

Got a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my son's in-laws today. Wasn't that nice?

Good luck with your chemo, it all seems to be doing what it should. 

Christine

Christine
Good to hear from you, addressing actions never stopped me rambling on...you're setting me a very good example! Unfortunately not one I'll probably use as widely as I should however.

I applaud your offspring, think my boyfriend (if he could actually face going in a hospital where they are scary people and big syringes - he has SOO many phobias) would do the same but would also probably ask them to keep me in permanently!
Softie makes sense, not something I'd actually thought about not having given it any thought, presumably supplied by the hospital? Are you being measured for a more permanent one as you need one that fits you?  Is this provided for you?  How long will you need, I ask as am not sure if this is a thing to aid recovery or longer term give symmetry? (Sooo many things I still don't know...).

Funny what we crave then really don't enjoy isn't it - I have a similar hankering every 5-10 years for KFC and then quickly realise it far too slimy and doesn't taste as nice as I thought it would, I think they slip drugs into their offering to create this addiction...

Re drain, I suspect that DIY will probably be the overall preferred option given its cheaper, we'll see.  Not something that floats my boat but then again I didn't think I'd be injecting myself either...a new skill for my growing collection perhaps?
Ah yes I recall they take a sample of the nodes to see the likely hood of spread there- 4 or so from memory?
Re drain I presume the hospital provides the bag for the drain? Your basin wash is the equivalent of my "prison bath" when I can't be bothered or have forgotten to put the hot water on!
Are your "boob pain" tablets over the counter (ibuprofen etc.) or provided by hospital?

Good lord lady based on how I've been so far I think your having part of your body lopped off beats my constipation (which now I've "mastered" this chemo lark is the worst of it really and that's only for a small number of days and isn't really enough to even moan about to be honest) so don't feel for me (yet!!).  You focus fully on yourself and am glad to hear that you appear to be handling it well - I truly hope that you are of course!!

I know its still early days but what are you thinking for boob no 2 ( or maybe 1 now??) I know the surgeon stated " protocols" but is this now something that you'll be able to (or want to) progress?

Thanks ever so much for answering my queries, I feel better knowing what to expect in the future and learn fro others experience - really useful and much appreciated.

And know what you mean re being strong etc.  I get brave quite a lot and know exactly what you mean...its like well I just get on with it as there really isn't another option that suits me or that I want to take advantage of.  I do however know that my friends and family all mean well.

Had a very good "chore" day yesterday, do feel better when am doing stuff (though loafing on the sofa in the evening watching TV is also most enjoyable!), also a chance might counteract impact of naughty steroids.
Went on another bike ride which was good if not a little mucky (as go mainly on bridle paths) but never stops me, always a shower at the finish to make me gleaning once again.  Then decided to actually go to the supermarket (usually get a home delivery but there's stuff I need that they don't do), and now I know why I prefer the convenience of a home delivery, the town was rammed for no reason and the supermarket full of eejits, nuff said.
In the afternoon went onto the garden centre and have planted lots & lots of new bulbs, love the spring bulbs and that will brighten my days post surgery & radiotherapy.  Bring on the tulips, crocus' and narcissi.

Would be out for a walk with a pal this afternoon but 2 rain drops on BBC weather is one rain drop too many even for a hardy northener so off to the cinema we go, I've narrowed my choice to Gemini (Will Smith) and the dark looking Joker & Judy, my friend will be asleep half way through but I am hoping to get value for money and stay the duration, think the steroids will (as they have been doing during the nights) help!

Far too much "content" above -sorry!  I can't half blather on...you should feel vvv sorry for my cancer support network as they get it in real life!

Hope the tablets are helping and the flowers are still blooming lovely.

Sam X

Hi Sam,

I am laughing at the thought of your boyfriend asking the hospital to keep you permanently because my daughter says she had just such a plan. They took me in with no house keys, no money, no way of getting home and somehow the hospital  had her phone number down wrong. She said it was all a cunning plan to abandon me!!! 

I think the softie idea is for comfort and help with recovery and in a few weeks I will be measured for a more permanent prosthesis for symmetry. The jury is still out on whether or not I will want to go through this again on the other breast.

My pain killers i.e. Paracetamol and ibuprofen are over the counter but the strong dihydrocodeine were given to me on discharge. I only take one of them at night to ensure a good sleep. 

I have have been quite reassured by having the nurse come every day. The drain emptying is so easy I could happily do it myself but just to have her look at the scar and the surrounding areas and reassure me that everything is going to plan is comforting.  I know I'm doing well but it does hurt with bruising and the skin feels slightly sun burned so it's good to hear it's all ok. The weird thing is I still get pains in my nonexistent breast.

I had a home delivery of groceries this weekend and the driver very kindly brought everything into the kitchen and put the bags on the work tops. I usually do my own shopping once a week just to be sure of getting everything I need. I don't even think about going any further into town than the supermarkets. There is an Aldi and a Sainsbury's just opposite each other and between them they supply everything I could wish for. It'll be a while before I go there again, though, until I'm allowed to drive. (By my overprotective children)

i don't think I'll be planting any bulbs this year, but I have plenty coming up every spring. I can't even contemplate mowing the lawn, yet. Having said that, come this afternoon I might feel fit for anything once my drain is out. I'm already dreaming of my first shower!

My appointment on Thursday will be when I learn if the sentinel nodes had any cancer in them.  I am really hoping not because that would mean no further surgery. Fingers crossed! 

The tablets are still working and the flowers still look and smell wonderful and the sun is shining! Yay!!!

Christine

[@Yorkshire_defector1]‍ and [@cazrosie]‍ 

I put your user names in so you will both get an email about this message  

Hi Sam and Caroline,

I got my results today and apparently it's a really good job I chose to have a mastectomy as my tumour turned out to be bigger than expected and a lumpectomy would not have been possible. 

Unfortunately one of my sentinel nodes had cancer in it so I have to have them (or is it some of them) removed. I go in on November 8th which gives me three weeks to fully recover from the mastectomy and get fighting fit! Further treatment will depend on what they find next. I do know I will have to have hormone therapy for five years. I think that will be like going through a second menopause, such joy!!!

The good news is, I got a softie that fits!! Happy day!!  

Hope you are both well

Christine