Hi BigJean,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry for the reason you've joined. I hope that your results on Tuesday can help to put your mind at rest. Even if the news is not so good, it helps to know what the next moves are and puts a more positive slant on things.

I suspect that the pain in your back is consequential to your diagnosis. We always seem to think the worst and develop all sorts of additional symptoms. In most cases this seems to be due to stress.

I have lost my mum to breast cancer and, have had 2 bouts myself within the past 9 years. Waiting for results is always one of the most stressful times of a cancer journey. Try to keep yourself distracted by other pursuits and do your best to stay away from Google. The fact that you are healthy and have never smoked, should stand you in good stead with any treatment needed.

Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on on Tuesday. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine ,

thank you for your kind words . I’m so sorry you lost your mum and you going through it twice . I am not going to let it get me down just back from a big walk with my family and I feel great . That’s the weird thing I don’t feel sick at all . 

I’ll let you know how I get on on Tuesday but I am ready to fight 

talk soon xx

The research is fantastic isn’t it. So reassuring. I haven’t read anything about the scalpels you’ve mentioned but that sounds really good. The doctor today mentioned being involved in trials etc but didn’t go into any detail. I’ll definitely be doing something to contribute to the research when this experience is behind me. Steve & I have planned to do the moonwalk so I’ll have to see how I get on with whatever treatment I need but am sure I can shake a bucket somewhere at least!

You're right about keeping busy. I love knitting & it’s quite therapeutic really. I’ve never watched as much daytime telly as I have done over the last month - homes under the hammer every day lol! 

Enjoy chooosing your wig if chemo is in your treatment plan. There are a lot of pretty cool ones around now aren’t there? Xx

I am the same I aim once my treatments is over I want to raise 500: pounds and give it to my hospital you can buy stickers or a can from the site get involved after having breast cancer twice I want to give my hospital a little ty for looking after me I do put good things like jackets clothes etc into the cancer research in town same with heart shop unwanted furniture as heart and cancer is 2 bigest things but that's good you are going to do it too have a good sleep xx Lorraine

Am sure everything helps & I’ll definitely be doing more of that now too. Good for you for doing plenty already! I haven’t seen what can be bought on here but will have a look now. And I’ll definitely be showing whatever gratitude I can to the team who are looking after me during this experience.

It’s been good to talk to you tonight - it’s really helped me, thank you so much. Sorry to have been so self-absorbed - promise not to be so much like that in future posts! 

Have a good sleep too! Xx

Hi warriorwilko 

Sorry to hear you are on this journey. I had a masectomy and lymph node removal back in May and have just had my seventh chemo cycle out of eight. 

The ladies on here have helped me more than they will ever know because they have listened to my fears, spoken openly about their feelings and made me feel like I’m not going mad when I think thevdoc is hiding things from me or every pain or ache is sinister and it’s perfectly normal to feel like this. 

As loz said trying to keep yourself busy helps with trying to lessen the mental state we can get ourselves into. Always here for a chat if you feel you need to vent x 

take care 

juliet x 

Hello mejules 

thank you for replying. It’s good to hear from you too & I'm sorry too you’re on this scarey journey too. I’m glad you’re nearly at the end of your chemo & I hope things are now much more positive for you. It’s been useful to read all the previous posts about chemotherapy as it’s been something (before today) that I’ve been terrified of, but I can see with all the support on here that although it does sound extremely challenging, you are all surviving it & trying to stay as positive as possible, which is incredibly inspiring and heartening. 

To normalise some of our common fears must be very helpful as I’ve certainly felt as tho I’m going crazy over the last few weeks since I was diagnosed on the 2nd October & to describe myself as one-track minded would be very accurate. 

Thank you for your offer of chats. I will definitely be back on here. I’ll try my best to offer some support back. Xx

Hey Mejules

no need to apologise. just pleased you are ok and know we are here for you if needed. 
Now then....one cycle left.... that's amazing, have you got anything planned to celebrate getting through it. We took the kids off to Centre Parcs for a couple of days as they've not had any time away over the summer with my treatment. I also had a teeny tiny prosecco for one. 
I'm struggling to sleep at the minute and feel like I have a very heavy arm, but I am persevering with the exercises I have been given . Next step for me is pathology results, I want to know that they got all of it. 
 

Keep going, you are doing amazing. 
 

X

Hi [@WarriorWilko]‍ 

A warm welcome to the thread. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Try not to think about the what ifs, I think once you are on this cancer path you will always wonder whether aches and pains are a spread of the cancer. Somehow I'm certain we will all come to live with this and actually we are probably In a better place than most as we are in the system, it will get picked up and dealt with. Will your treatment plan be impacted by having to have further lymph nodes removed? 

Your husband sounds ace. Mine is unbelievable actually, he has just let me do what I need to do, and taken the burden of everything else away. My children have also been amazing. But I think we are definitely looking forward to a day when I'm fit and we can do more adventurous family activities. Focus for 2020 is fitness. 
 

Always here for a chat if needed. Insomnia is poking its little head up for me at the minute.

take care

wl

Hello Mejules,

I'm sorry to hear about the pain that your treatment is causing - I shall be thinking of you on Friday, as you hang on that bell!

I fully agree that doing the exercises regularly help to get you back on track quicker.

I know that treatment can be a very lonely journey, but you know that you are never on your own. We are always here for you.

I sincerely hope that things improve for you after Friday.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi BigJean,

It's great that you are doing so well. I hope that you get your drain out if possible, tomorrow.

I'm glad to see that you are enjoying being back home - there really is no place like it!

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Helen,

Of course it is ok to join us all, although I'm sorry to hear of the reason you've joined for You will be relieved to have your lumpectomy behind you, but what a pity that they have to go in again to remove your lymph nodes. At least your margins are clear, which is good news.

This is one of the scariest parts of your cancer journey. There are so many unknowns. It is not at all unusual for your mind to go into overdrive and for you to think the worst.

Cancer doesn't just affect the individual with cancer, it affects the entire family. You are fortunate to have such good support in Steve. Try to keep all communication chanels open between both of you. This will help you both. Does he attend your appointments at the breast clinic with you? It is always useful if he can, particularly when you are going for the results of any tests.

It is good news that your cancer is HER-. Do you know what grade or type of breast cancer you have?

When I was first diagnosed 10 years ago, my mind raced ahead of me too. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 10 years and, have had a lumpectomy and a double mastectomy. I certainly never expected to be here still and living a fulfilling life.

I sincerely hope that all goes well for you on Thursday. Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Helen,

Of course it is ok to join us all, although I'm sorry to hear of the reason you've joined for You will be relieved to have your lumpectomy behind you, but what a pity that they have to go in again to remove your lymph nodes. At least your margins are clear, which is good news.

This is one of the scariest parts of your cancer journey. There are so many unknowns. It is not at all unusual for your mind to go into overdrive and for you to think the worst.

Cancer doesn't just affect the individual with cancer, it affects the entire family. You are fortunate to have such good support in Steve. Try to keep all communication chanels open between both of you. This will help you both. Does he attend your appointments at the breast clinic with you? It is always useful if he can, particularly when you are going for the results of any tests.

It is good news that your cancer is HER-. Do you know what grade or type of breast cancer you have?

When I was first diagnosed 10 years ago, my mind raced ahead of me too. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 10 years and, have had a lumpectomy and a double mastectomy. I certainly never expected to be here still and living a fulfilling life.

I sincerely hope that all goes well for you on Thursday. Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine

thank you for replying - it’s good to hear from you & to hear of your inspirational journey knowing you’re having a fulfilling life. This can happen to anyone can’t it - it’s so important to cherish what we have and are able to do whether or not we have a diagnosis. It’s certainly got me to evaluate what’s important in my life & to realise that long hours working don’t enable me to spend the time that I want with Steve. That has already changed & will continue to do so. 

Yes he comes to all my appointments with me and clarifies & asks the doctors lots of questions for me as I find myself mute most of the time, ruminating on something they have said that I’ve picked up on and start to pick apart to find a catastrophic journey with. And you’re right about keeping the communication channels open between us. I’m hoping that he does with me although I know he’s trying to be as positive as possible (& is doing a wonderful job) We both have some amazing friends and I know they’re looking out for Steve too. 

My cancer is a grade 2 apparently. I’m not usually so thick but some of the terminology is baffling me at the moment as I’m not used to it. I’ve understood that it’s fed by oestrogen so will be on oestrogen blocking medication as part of my treatment plan when the lymph nodes have been removed. I don’t know any more about the plan yet tho until the lymph nodes have been examined & I'm desperately trying not to analyse every twinge or imperfection and relate it to a spread.

Thank you, & everyone, for your support. I hope to be as supportive back to you as soon as I can. 

Sleep well soon

Helen xx

Hi Helen,

I'm glad to hear that Steve accompanies you to all of your appointments and, asks most of the pertinent questions. Many of us also find it helpful to write down questions before each appointment. Both you and Steve could draw them up together. This ensures that you don't forget to ask important questions.

I used to go armed with two copies of the questions - one for myself and one for hubby. As I asked the questions he wrote down the answers. It's a well known fact that we only manage to retain a small amount of information from any consultation and, it's all too easy to come out not sure of what has been said. The consultants are quite used to this.

I am glad to hear that you have already begun to re-evaluate the important things in life and, that you  have friends who are looking out for both of you.

It is always difficult getting to grips with the terminology. If we can help in any way, you only have to ask. Don't be afraid of asking your consultant anything you don't understand. Sometimes they get so used to dealing with cancer routinely, that they can forget that it is all new to you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you Jolamine, this is really good advice. I think at the moment it’s the consultations that I fear over everything else, expecting bad news to be given each time. I know I have to try to be positive & not think like this, but it’s almost like a preparation I feel is necessary. To cut out this train of thought is a work in progress & one that I’m working hard on every day, with Steve’s continuing support. 

The consultants & the nurses we’ve seen have all, without exception, been fantastic. It’s reassuring in a way though that they have seen this before so many times. I don’t feel that they are minimising our experience by doing that, as they’re certainly not dismissive. Their clinical skills are essential, obviously, but the emotional understanding they have, and what I have found on this forum too, are invaluable. 

Thank you so much for your support. I do hope things are ok for you. I’m not knowledgeable enough yet I don’t think to reciprocate the advice you’ve given me, but if there is any support I can offer you, please just say. Xx

Hi Helen,

It is virtually impossible not to feel overcome by fear at this stage. You will feel much more positive once you get your operation behind you and, find out exactly what you are up against. It is so much easier to feel better once you know where you are going and how you are going to treat it.

It makes such a difference when you have a good care team behind you. My mum had breast cancer too. She had it for 12 years, before she was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in her brain, bones, liver and lungs. She died 21 years ago. At that time there was virtually no aftercare and no organisations to deal with all of the associated emotional problems. When I was first diagnosed 10 years ago, I was amazed by how this had all changed. There is just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and after care that she received and that which I have experienced. The good news now is that more people are living with cancer than dying with it. Who knows what research will come up with in another few years?

As you travel further down the line, you will find other organisations which run courses to help you to deal with your diagnosis. There is a wealth of support out there. You just have to know where to find it.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi

I'm the same, I prepare myself for bad news every time. I'm convinced they will say it's spread even though I've had all the scans to say it hasn't'! Even when they give me positive news I can't believe them, which is where my hubby comes In. He reminds me to take the positives and deal with each day as it happens, and the kids do the same they live in the moment which acts as a good reminder. 
WL

Hi Jolamine

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum’s experience. That must have been so difficult for her, as well as you. It’s really no wonder why the diagnosis of cancer is still so terrifying for anyone to have when there are those experiences before the advancements that have now been made, isn’t it. I guess really we are still in the pioneering days of being able to feel confident that things will be ok.

I saw the breast care nurse yesterday who was able to calm my racing mind a little, so each day is getting a bit easier again. 

I hope you’re doing ok

Best wishes

Helen xx

Hi Woollylamb

I’m sorry to hear you experience the same anxiety, although I’m learning that this is the same for virtually everyone, so hopefully with us all being in the same boat in that respect, we can gain collective comfort. There are enough people around us all to reassure us that it’s our imaginations following a trauma, rather than what is actually being said to us. It’s important to remind ourselves that the care team know what they’re doing & that they see so many people on this journey, & that most now go onwards to have great & fulfilling lives with clearer focus on the important things in life.

I’m praying to the wound goddess for you that your wound heals soon from your drain & to the results goddess for reassuring results for you.

Best wishes

Helen xx

Hi Helen,

It's hard to believe that there was only 10 years between the treatments that my mum and I had, yet they were so totally different.

I'm glad that your visit to see the breast care nurse yesterday went well and, that she was able to calm you a little.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx