Hi Hopej,

I'm more than happy to answer any questions you may have. I don't do private messaging though, so it will have to be on the open forum, giving others the chance to benefit.

Best Regards

Taff

Totally impressed with your husband! My husband has had a bag for 2 years and just had an unsuccessful reversal op. I hate the thing with a passion. One of the most repulsive things I've ever seen. Can't look at it,  get near it or anything. Had counselling which didn't help. So now we're looking at platonic for ever. Yes, I know I'm an utterly selfish unfeeling b. But can any partners help?

Hi, just been reading the posts.

I had to have a stoma January last year due to rectal cancer. A long term crohns sufferer I had been avoiding a stoma for years then had no option. The stoma I dealt, the extra things due to how the cancer has spread,  greatly affected our marital relations that was much harder to deal with. You can get patterned covers for the stoma bags men and women it might help. I got a sexy black lace one!

However, 1 year on had all treatment following the operation and I am cancer clear, a tremendous burden lifted so we are working together on solving the other issues. I am just grateful the surgeons moved fast and I am alive to tell the tale.

Obviously it is not all plain sailing and I had hiccups with the stoma, however travelling you can get assistance from the information office and get a daisy lanyard which identifies you as needing assistance  boarding etc. Fantastic shorter walking route etc for boarding and speedier security. The airlines will also help with seating etc when you advise them at booking or you contact them later.

travel insurance I sort advice from Macmillan who have a list of companies to try, it was more due to the cancer but with time should reduce in price.

I have been abroad twice in 6 months you can take an extra carry on bag with your supplies so no worries there.

Hope this helps, a positive attitude and humour  helps create acceptance and support from others makes having the stoma more 'normal' 

I feel exactly the same my mind is in a very dark place while everyone around me has been so good and loving I'm not sure I can carry like this

Hello David,

                     you are not alone in feeling this, l hated mine with a vengeance and initially only grudgingly accepted it due to the promise of a reversal,not that l had a lot of choice awaking from the op to find it in situ.

                   After the first week l decided to get on with it and with life and in my mind it became easier.But then my body decided to get in the way and throw a very large spanner in the works.My stoma site became raw, inflamed and bleeding so l was having to wipe blood off in the hope l could get bags to stick to raw tissue.l could cope with the pain ,but bags coming constanly adrift was a continuing nightmare.l am very sensitive to tight things on my skin for any length of time and cannot wear watches,rings ect for more than a few hours at a time before getting a reaction,even plastic,rubberbacked watch cases  and cloth and leather straps cause swelling and irritation. Coupled to the fact l was still distended from liver surgery six weeks before the bowel op,and the stoma site was really poor when everything settled down

                                                                  l had no choice but to soldier on for what seemed like a lifetime but was in reality 14 months for a reversal.That in itself has taken 5 years for the bowel to finally settle down to somewhere close to normal.Eventually l found myself leaving good attached bags on for as long as possible by emptying and flushing them out,to avoid opening up broken skin constantly

                                                            My thoughts are that iving with a stoma bag has it good points,lack of public toilets ect ,and that given that it was a lifesaver,it helps with your perception eventually.But l found myself constantly thinking that surely a better attachment solution could be found than the precarious one in use at present. hopefully one day it will come to pass.

                                                                                                                   But through it all l have carried on with life and personal achievements and am very grateful to those who gave of their very best to make my today possible,

                                                     David

I had my operation in 2009 and it took me bout 5 years to really come to turms with the kind operation ive had and to get use to stoma .but to as wot youve ask .yes you will get use to stoma and as time go by you get to know your stoma and uts needs .and over time you will find your self almost forgeting youve got stoma .but as ive said it took me 5 years to get use to mine .and now to me its just there and new part my body with out it id not be here today .but you will get use to your stoma and having one . just takes time 

I'm struggling with my ostomy and stumbles across this post and can't believe that someone would say they can't fathom why others have a problem with their ostomy. Some people didn't have a life time of Bowel problems and so for them this isn't something that has improved their quality of life. 
Such an unhelpful comment and I can CLEARLY see why people struggle with their ostomy. Who would honestly choose to poop in a bag?! Seriously. 
 

Hi Kit82, I realise that you're struggling and I sympathise, I realise that I'm the odd one here. I just don't think the same as others.

As for your question - when the alternative is not pooping at all, it seems the rather obvious choice.

Here's something else you might not like - I don't care about having cancer either.

Regards

Taff

You seem like a really empathetic and compassionate person. 
I am guessing you aren't young. I got cancer in my early 30s. Cancer and a colostomy in your 30s isn't the one. 
I'm glad you feel confident with your stoma. I personally don't think I'll ever feel attractive or confident ever again. Each to their own I guess. 
Always nice to be able to see things from other people's perspectives though rather than just saying you can't fathom someone else's way of thinking.