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Tiredout
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hi im new to this. I care for my 94 year old mum and she went downhill three weeks ago.It started with her hip giving her more pain than usual so much so she was crying and i called a dr because she couldnt walk. A dr came out three times abd last week she went for xrays one on her hip and one on her chest because she was constantly being sick which i thought was due to the pain.

the dr called on the thursday to say they had found a mass on her chest xray and wanted to do a ct scan to see if it was anywhere else

Dr said things like

she is in good hands and will be well looked after

and

she will be in control of the treatment she has

does this mean she has got cancer or not 

she hardly drinks or eats and constantly sleeps 

  • Offline

    Hi Tiredout,

    No wonder you chose that profile name it is exhausting caring for sick parents and moreso the older the get (which sadly means we're getting older too and more likely to get tired!)

    Sorry you're having this worry but at this stage no-one can tell you for sure if she has cancer or no.  I can totally understand what about her symptoms is concerning you but then some of the symptoms are probably quite common in people of 94.  Chest X-rays show up masses but can't usually be used to diagnose those masses.  Needless to say there are a number of causes of lung masses that aren't cancerous.  Thankfully the CT scan will give them the answers you need.  The doctors may well be pretty sure one way or the other based on their experience but they tend to avoid saying the word we all dread until they know for sure (understandably).  Being honest I wouldn't be surprised if they are thinking the dreaded word but then the other possible conditions would require treatment that, at your mum's age, she may decide she doesn't want so there is hope.  

    I really hope you get the CT scan quickly.  I cannot imagine how distressing this must be for your mum given her age, but even moreso for you having to see a loved one go through this.

    I'm here if you want to vent, have a virtual shoulder, need some moral support...

    LJx

  • Offline in reply to TwinTwo

    Twin two 

    thanks the appointment arrived in the post today she has her ct scan on saturday

    i know I won’t get results then but it’s the waiting and not knowing

     

  • Offline in reply to Tiredout

    Hi Tiredout,

    Glad it's come for quite soon.  You're right they're unlikely to tell you anything on Saturday but hopefully you'll get another appointment through for later next week.

    The wait really is the hardest thing sadly, we've all been there so feel free to rant.

    Hoping for the best.

    LJx

  • Offline in reply to TwinTwo

    Well mum had her ct scan yesterday

    They used dye before taking the xrays and she has had to stop taking her metformin tablets for 48 hours

    I noticed this afternoon she has stopped eating and drinking again and has developed red blotches on her face and arms and also she is sleeping a lot again

    I have been given the number to call if not heard by friday so just the waiting game now 

  • Offline in reply to Tiredout

    Hmm..sorry for that and good luck with the scan report...keep strong and thinking of your mom and you x

  • Offline in reply to Tiredout

    Will be keeping you both in my thoughts, these are such trying times for you, remember to take care of yourself as well.

    xx

  • Offline in reply to TwinTwo

    Well got mums ct scan results and she has lung cancer and enphysema she has to see lung dr but because she is 94 the knly option open to her is pallative care 

    not been told survival rate ect 

  • Offline in reply to Tiredout

    So sorry TiredOut,

    I hope she isn't suffering too much and that palliative care will keep her comfortable and help her see out her days as peacefully as possible.  Also, assuming it will be in a home, rather than nurses coming to you, it will give you a chance to be 'just' a daughter again rather than a carer which I would see as a positive thing.

    This must be so hard for you, and I imagine for your mum the change will be difficult enough at this time in her life, so I hope everything moves smoothly and in a way that works for you both.  Feel free to add me as a friend if you want to message privately to vent or to share stories about your mum from better days, if either helps.  But I imagine you're looking to spend as much time with your mum as possible.

    Really hoping you get some quality time together and that you both feel peace and love as your mum's life sadly draws to a close as peacefully as possible.

    Big hugs,
    LJx

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