Dear Inula, I cannot begin to imagine how devastating this news is for you and I would like to add my name to what will I am sure be a long list of people here who will be thinking of you both and sending lots of hugs . Sue xx 

Hi Inula,
How sorry I am to read your post.  Have been in your position so fully understand what you are going through.
It isn't fair how our future plans get tossed to the wind but it's out of our control unfortunately.
When does hubbys treatment start?
I wish I could give you a big hug.
Kathy xx
 

Dear inula ,

I understand completely I've just finished the exact same chemo as your husband .....it will help him , well I can't say for sure but its help me .

My tumour was 5/cm and now shrunk to just over 1cm .

The treatment is tough but worth it ....I'm determined to fight as I'm only 51 and I have a lot on my bucket list !!

Mine is stage 4 so no operation for me either , but I should go on a trail at addenbrooks soon ....always hope .

I've had to stay strong for my family and my gut determination will see me here for some considerable time !! 

Stay strong and shout if you need too 

Best wishes Christelle xx

Thank Sue, Kathy and Christelle for your kind replies.

Kathy I read your profile. You have had tough times recently. This being strong business is darned hard work for sure! I cant imagine having to manhandle my husband without his assistance. (Im a very slight lady and he is 6'2.) I guess we are capable of more than we imagine. At the moment his is hale ans hearty and appart from pain at the site of the primary tumour he looks well.

Christelle, Im so heartened to read that you have been helped by the same chemo combination that my husband will be embarking on. How have you tolerated the chemo? And what have been the worse side effects?

I have added an email address to my profile if any of you would like to contact me. Im sure admin wont approve but this is an email address that is specific to this site and not one that is in regular use for any other purpose. Oh how I wish personal messaging was available! 

Tomorrow he has an appointment for a CT scan to enable planning of his radiotherapy.

He is still extremely distressed by his diagnosis and like many peple who are told they have inoperable cancer he has pretty much got himself measured up for a box and thinks he might be in it within the month! I hope that once he has had time to process things he will come out of the doldrums and start to fight. In the meantime my daughter and I are information gathering and relaying heartwarming accounts of people actually getting on with life after such an awful diagnosis.

Inula

Dear Inula ,

Your e mail will be removed I'm sure ! 

In brief the chemo is tough , I guess it affects us all in different ways .

My main problems were with sickness and tiredness ,its a long 8_9 hours of being hooked up due to the amount iof fluid your hubby will need to have .

Recovery for me was approx a week to 10 days , tell him just to go with how ever he feels and rest as much as possible . he'll come out the other side slowly !! I guess I learnt to gage my body and how it felt after the first treatment .

​tell him to stay positive as the new trials are really encouraging , I'm due to see my consultant tomorrow to see if I've been accepted at addenbrooks ...fingers cro 

​ssed 

​best wishes Christelle x

Hi Inula,
Unfortunately I was too slow and I think your email address has been removed.  Never fear we will work on that one.
You will find the strength required as needed honey, in the meantime fight on.  I am a real shortass 4 foot 11 and hubby was 6 foot 3, just the right height for him to rest his pint glass on, we used to joke off 30 years ago.
 We continually hear of success stories so remaining positive is a real plus.
Kathy xx
 

Hi Kathy

Email address was removed along with the whole of my profile (accidentally  & mod did say sorry but still feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth)
Just right now I dont have the mental energy to rewrite the whole lot again but hey ho you break the rules you pay the consequences! ;)

Inula

Hi Inula,
Positives , you have an action plan in place.  Christelle is and can help with knowledge of treatment.  Other forum members will communicate showing their support.
You are doing the correct thing, snoozing and eating as you can.  This forum is truly great for support.  There is usually someone on line willing to listen.  You and hubby are not alone.  You are with virtual friends.
Kathy x
 

Dear Inula

Like Kathy (and so many others) I too have been where you are now.  My heart goes out to you both. My hubby had a couple of sessions of chemo  which he agreed to in the hope that it would give him longer with a good quality of life.  Though he did not finish the course because his body reacted  badly it did hold back the cancer and gave us nearly three years together to make more valuable memories.  I hope that once your husband has a chance to  begin treatment he will feel able to do what he enjoys whilst he is able to do so and hang on to the fact that  new treatments are often in the pipeline. Radiotherapy was not an option for my hubby so hope this is an added help in prolonging the quality of your time together.

My husband and I cried together initially and a few times along the way but am sure we both did so alone too (well I know I did).  This forum's support during that time was amazing (still is) and come and chat anytime you need to offload. Its hard and so unfair and I send you a big virtual hug. Jules x