My Dad has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer

Hey all,

This is a kind of introduction and shoulder to lean on post. Excuse me if it's a little all over the place. 

My name is James and i'm in my early 30's. Just before Christmas, my Dad went for a routine check up about his diabetes and it was discovered that he was anemic. After various tests and scans we found out that he had been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. Sadly it had spread to other organs and an operation was not an option. So far he has had 3 rounds of chemotherapy and is in high spirits, with little side effects. He has another scan in a few weeks to see how well the chemotherapy is doing. I spoke privately with the oncologist and he estimated that my Dad has around 18 months, so my fiance and I have moved our wedding forward to August this year. We also found out recently that my Sister in law has had a double masectomy. She's had chemotherapy and is now undergoing radiotherapy.


Now, this is not a feel sorry for myself post, as I am normally an extremely strong person, but recently it seems that life is giving me a massive kick in the nuts. I'm currently in my 3rd year of university and finding it hard to finish something that normally I'm so passionate about. Whilst at uni, I worked part time as a barman, but on the day of diagnosis I also found out that I had lost my job as the bar had to shut down for health and safety reasons. To top it all off, in the last few weeks my car has given up on me and has to be scrapped. 

I'm trying my best to be supportive to my Mum as she is finding it difficult. She is a strong person like me normally, but i've learnt to notice when she needs help. She's lucky having a few good friends who come and see her, taking her for coffee to take her mind of things for a few hours. Myself, I don't feel as fortunate. My fiance tries to be supportive, but it's a difficult subject to talk to her about. I've never really shown my weaknesses to her as the role is normally me being the supportive one. My friends are great, but never seem to ask me how i'm doing. They are more concerned with what's happening within their own lives. I kinda need some help from people going through the same thing so though I would post on here.

Anyway, i'm not really sure on how to end this post, so...




 

Parents
  • Hi, 

    My dad was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer yesterday. He's 75 and going for a pet scan on Monday to see if it has spread to any other organ. The consultant said he has lymph nodes in his chest... I don't know how to feel been very upset and I'm very scared for him for what he's going to go through 

    Clare

  • Hi Clare,

    Hope you are doing OK. I too have just found out my dad has Oseophagal Cancer and he had his PET Scan today he is 75 in October. How did your dad get on?. I'm hoping it hasn't spread to any other organs. I am deeply upset and struggling to sleep for worrying. He is not particularly healthy, doesn't exercise much at all so I am worried he won't cope with treatment.

     

    X

    L 

  • Hi

    Well my dad had 6 weeks of iv chemo and tablets and it almost killed him. He's been in hospital for a month.  They won't do anymore chemo and won't do the op as they don't think he would get through it so radiotherapy which won't cure him :-( 

  • Tottaly know how you feel its happened to my dad 5/6 months only to live but his challenge was  to b told he needed tablet change at the beging and  then next scan was he ad this very awful thing esophagus cancer and that barrets as well  and told to us dad ad 6/9 mths to live went through evasive treatment for quality of life and I could say so so much more cause I'm not happy about my situation of my dad but  a week before my beautiful dad died he ad a consultant meeting took bloods and said Weill send u for a scan after treatment he already went through that appointment and it was on a wed the following wednesday my dad passed away in absolute pain no driver no help no  nothing and nothing was in place my dad didnt deserve it and my advice is please just make sure pain relief and help wit manoverin etc is in place and local distric nurses are in place for duty if care for u  when mam or dad is terminal I  wouldn't want to know someone else had gone through what I have had to so so sorry if people have had to go through this traumatic experience Its bad enough to lose someone very  close but not to see them suffer so badly as I have had to and I just would like to give people advise if someone get very awful news and just what they need to know what they need to be in place

    as 6/7 months later my father in law got terminal news had every thing in place as we pleaded to officials ie docs, consultants etc  and we did get this in place and bless him the driver and every thing was in place including the  nurses McMillan everything

    awful my father in law passed but at peace and rest so any one that's in my beginning situation please shout and b heard and have everything in place please please please this has all happened sept 16 to April 17 and no one should be ignored x 

  • Hi Clodagh,

    Thanks for sharing both your story and advice.

    I have the same type of Cancer but I have my Mum's Cancer experience to use when planning my own care - especially when I reach end of life. She had the end that she had planned, at home with her family with MacMillan and Marie Curie nurses helping look after her and a driver set up and working properly.

    I'm sorry to read that your Dad's experience was so awful. I can imagine what you went through as it sounds very similar to my Grandad's who died of cancer a few years before my Mum did.

    Best wishes
    Dave

Reply
  • Hi Clodagh,

    Thanks for sharing both your story and advice.

    I have the same type of Cancer but I have my Mum's Cancer experience to use when planning my own care - especially when I reach end of life. She had the end that she had planned, at home with her family with MacMillan and Marie Curie nurses helping look after her and a driver set up and working properly.

    I'm sorry to read that your Dad's experience was so awful. I can imagine what you went through as it sounds very similar to my Grandad's who died of cancer a few years before my Mum did.

    Best wishes
    Dave

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