Hey all,

This is a kind of introduction and shoulder to lean on post. Excuse me if it's a little all over the place. 

My name is James and i'm in my early 30's. Just before Christmas, my Dad went for a routine check up about his diabetes and it was discovered that he was anemic. After various tests and scans we found out that he had been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. Sadly it had spread to other organs and an operation was not an option. So far he has had 3 rounds of chemotherapy and is in high spirits, with little side effects. He has another scan in a few weeks to see how well the chemotherapy is doing. I spoke privately with the oncologist and he estimated that my Dad has around 18 months, so my fiance and I have moved our wedding forward to August this year. We also found out recently that my Sister in law has had a double masectomy. She's had chemotherapy and is now undergoing radiotherapy.

Now, this is not a feel sorry for myself post, as I am normally an extremely strong person, but recently it seems that life is giving me a massive kick in the nuts. I'm currently in my 3rd year of university and finding it hard to finish something that normally I'm so passionate about. Whilst at uni, I worked part time as a barman, but on the day of diagnosis I also found out that I had lost my job as the bar had to shut down for health and safety reasons. To top it all off, in the last few weeks my car has given up on me and has to be scrapped. 

I'm trying my best to be supportive to my Mum as she is finding it difficult. She is a strong person like me normally, but i've learnt to notice when she needs help. She's lucky having a few good friends who come and see her, taking her for coffee to take her mind of things for a few hours. Myself, I don't feel as fortunate. My fiance tries to be supportive, but it's a difficult subject to talk to her about. I've never really shown my weaknesses to her as the role is normally me being the supportive one. My friends are great, but never seem to ask me how i'm doing. They are more concerned with what's happening within their own lives. I kinda need some help from people going through the same thing so though I would post on here.

Anyway, i'm not really sure on how to end this post, so...