Hi Alibarbara,  I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  It is very scary being diagnosed with cancer and also to find out it has spread to your bones.  My Mom had breast cancer when she was 60 but fortunately didn't die from it.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 47 and had lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and hormone treatment for five years.  Last year in September I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer with mets in most of my bones when I was 59.  I was so scared this time last year and wondered if I would see Christmas.  This year feel a lot better.  It is not the end,  this is not curable but definitely treatable.  I am living my life with cancer,  and have just got back from a holiday in Portugal.  With all the new drugs and treatments being developed all the time we can have many years to live.  Being positive definitely helps.  I know you can't be positive all the time and in the beginning it is very hard.  You are not alone.  I am on this forum everyday so can chat anytime.  Big hugs.

Lee x 

Hi Alibarbara,

A very warm welcome to the forum.

I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mum to breast cancer and that you have now had a diagnosis too. Hearing that it has spread to your bones must have come as quite a shock and I'm not surprised that you are terrified. Can I ask when you lost your mum? I lost my mum to breast cancer 26 years ago and she too had a horrific experience. I was diagnosed with breast cancer myself 16 years ago and was absolutely terrified - mainly as a result of what she went through. I was diagnosed with pre-cancer in my other breast 6 months after I had a lumpectomy and a second cancer in the original breast less than a year after my surgery. I then had a double mastectomy.

I can assure you that there was just no comparison in what we both experienced. Diagnosis, treatment and after care had all made tremendous strides in the interim. There have also been great strides in new techniques and medication. Try not to be too negative about the outcome - difficult, I know!. Many people here are living much longer than predicted these days and the more positive you can be about things, the better you'll cope. Write down any questions you have for your consultant and take these with you to your next appointment - remember that no question is too insignificant to ask. You will find that the more informed you are about all that is happening, the less you will panic about it. I am glad to hear that you have some excellent family support behind you. Can you talk to any of them about how you feel? Sometimes this can be difficult, because you know that your diagnosis also affects your family. If this is so, you could always speak to a counsellor. Charities such as Maggie's offer this service free of charge. If you don't have a Maggie's Centre nearby, ask your care team for local support groups. There are a number of them and they all go under different names, which can make them difficult to find.

There are a number of plans you can make in advance for end of life. One is to make an Advance Care Plan. I expect that your care team will talk you though this when you discuss treatment options. Medication for combatting pain is improving all the time and is available for end oof life care. 

I hope that you get the chance to discuss treatment soon and I am always here if you want to talk.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you for your reply.

Im feeling a bit better now. I understand what I have. 

Ive had a bit if a brain adjustment, and am talking myself into being positive.

Thank you for your reply. 

I'm having hormone therapy to start, so not chemo at the moment.  

Ive decided to fight hard. I've asked for a referral to a hospital in Manchester.

Luckily my family are surrounding me and ensuring I'm not left alone too long, so I can't stew over what's happening.