The dreaded phone call - just been diagnosed with bowel cancer and husband is recovering from an oesophagectomy

Today I received a phone call from the specialist cancer nurse at my local hospital with the news that bowel cancer has been diagnosed. 

I already half knew. The colonoscopy I had a week ago showed a polyp that the endoscopist said looked very suspicious.

Somehow I have to work my way through this. I have an appointment with the surgeon next week and I'm  told there will be a 4-6 weeks wait for surgery. I will be doing prehab during that time.

My main concern is not me. I am caring for my husband who underwent radical cancer surgery having an oesophagectomy 5 weeks ago. His recovery is estimated at 4-6 months.

It looks very much like my surgery/recovery is going to coincide with his follow up chemo. Neither of us has age on our side. We are both 76, and I have to be able to care for him. My family have been brilliant all this year taking hubby to all his appointments and transporting me to visit while he was in hospital. I feel awful that I am going to have to rely on them again for transport and support.

Is there anyone I could talk to about managing the double whammy and how to cope when neither of us are fighting fit.

Sorry for the long post, but I don't  want to be a burden on my family.

Parents
  • I am in a similar situation. I have blood cancer and on maintenance treatment every 4 weeks. 
    My husband had the Ivor Lewis operation 8 weeks ago. So I am aware of the huge surgery your husband has undergone recently. We’re a decade younger than you and it’s been really tough. 
    I honestly don’t think you are going to manage on your own, as Bungle1 and Mandy67 there is help out there. I have found that people really want to help. Last week we both had cancer appointments, same day but different hospitals. My brother picked me up and our daughter went to the hospital with her dad. I took a lasagne out of the freezer for tea( my sister in law had made it) 

    I have shown our three adult children how to do his night feeds , in case we’re not well enough to do it. .Use this time to recognise where you are going to need help and set up your support system.

    My husband’s post op chemo is on hold until his back wound has healed, but we are gearing up for what’s ahead. As I have said family and friends have really rallied around, there is no way we could do this alone 

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  • I am in a similar situation. I have blood cancer and on maintenance treatment every 4 weeks. 
    My husband had the Ivor Lewis operation 8 weeks ago. So I am aware of the huge surgery your husband has undergone recently. We’re a decade younger than you and it’s been really tough. 
    I honestly don’t think you are going to manage on your own, as Bungle1 and Mandy67 there is help out there. I have found that people really want to help. Last week we both had cancer appointments, same day but different hospitals. My brother picked me up and our daughter went to the hospital with her dad. I took a lasagne out of the freezer for tea( my sister in law had made it) 

    I have shown our three adult children how to do his night feeds , in case we’re not well enough to do it. .Use this time to recognise where you are going to need help and set up your support system.

    My husband’s post op chemo is on hold until his back wound has healed, but we are gearing up for what’s ahead. As I have said family and friends have really rallied around, there is no way we could do this alone 

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