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The dreaded phone call - just been diagnosed with bowel cancer and husband is recovering from an oesophagectomy

PrudenceRalentir
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Today I received a phone call from the specialist cancer nurse at my local hospital with the news that bowel cancer has been diagnosed. 

I already half knew. The colonoscopy I had a week ago showed a polyp that the endoscopist said looked very suspicious.

Somehow I have to work my way through this. I have an appointment with the surgeon next week and I'm  told there will be a 4-6 weeks wait for surgery. I will be doing prehab during that time.

My main concern is not me. I am caring for my husband who underwent radical cancer surgery having an oesophagectomy 5 weeks ago. His recovery is estimated at 4-6 months.

It looks very much like my surgery/recovery is going to coincide with his follow up chemo. Neither of us has age on our side. We are both 76, and I have to be able to care for him. My family have been brilliant all this year taking hubby to all his appointments and transporting me to visit while he was in hospital. I feel awful that I am going to have to rely on them again for transport and support.

Is there anyone I could talk to about managing the double whammy and how to cope when neither of us are fighting fit.

Sorry for the long post, but I don't  want to be a burden on my family.

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    Hi  

    Im sure your family don't find you a burden, but if you are worried most hospitals offer transport to appointments. Also macmillan offer support and most areas have cancer charitys that give support of varying degrees. Also the forums are good for unloading what's going on in your head. Sending hugs. Xx

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    as far as your husband chemo he will be classes as medically vulnerable so you can ask for individual hospital transport in most areas, This will mean a taxi door to door not shoved on some mini mini and bumped along until its your turn to be dropped off and endless waiting to catch the mini bus in hospital corridors. Sorry you are both sick at the same time. You should receive extra benefits talk to your cancer nurses about claiming attendance allowance etc for both of you and use the money to pau private carer to come and help you also to cook  laundry and clean for you so you can rest and just try to support each other instead of worrying about the day to day stuff. However Im sure your family will want to help both of you and wont consider it being a burden. Sometimes asking for help is difficult but just think how you would react if someone close to you were in your position I'm sure you wouldnt think twice about being there for them. take care of you both x

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    I am in a similar situation. I have blood cancer and on maintenance treatment every 4 weeks. 
    My husband had the Ivor Lewis operation 8 weeks ago. So I am aware of the huge surgery your husband has undergone recently. We’re a decade younger than you and it’s been really tough. 
    I honestly don’t think you are going to manage on your own, as Bungle1 and Mandy67 there is help out there. I have found that people really want to help. Last week we both had cancer appointments, same day but different hospitals. My brother picked me up and our daughter went to the hospital with her dad. I took a lasagne out of the freezer for tea( my sister in law had made it) 

    I have shown our three adult children how to do his night feeds , in case we’re not well enough to do it. .Use this time to recognise where you are going to need help and set up your support system.

    My husband’s post op chemo is on hold until his back wound has healed, but we are gearing up for what’s ahead. As I have said family and friends have really rallied around, there is no way we could do this alone 

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