Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 3 replies
  • Views 1025 views
  • Users 0 members are here

The dreaded phone call - just been diagnosed with bowel cancer and husband is recovering from an oesophagectomy

PrudenceRalentir
Offline

Today I received a phone call from the specialist cancer nurse at my local hospital with the news that bowel cancer has been diagnosed. 

I already half knew. The colonoscopy I had a week ago showed a polyp that the endoscopist said looked very suspicious.

Somehow I have to work my way through this. I have an appointment with the surgeon next week and I'm  told there will be a 4-6 weeks wait for surgery. I will be doing prehab during that time.

My main concern is not me. I am caring for my husband who underwent radical cancer surgery having an oesophagectomy 5 weeks ago. His recovery is estimated at 4-6 months.

It looks very much like my surgery/recovery is going to coincide with his follow up chemo. Neither of us has age on our side. We are both 76, and I have to be able to care for him. My family have been brilliant all this year taking hubby to all his appointments and transporting me to visit while he was in hospital. I feel awful that I am going to have to rely on them again for transport and support.

Is there anyone I could talk to about managing the double whammy and how to cope when neither of us are fighting fit.

Sorry for the long post, but I don't  want to be a burden on my family.

Parents
  • Offline

    as far as your husband chemo he will be classes as medically vulnerable so you can ask for individual hospital transport in most areas, This will mean a taxi door to door not shoved on some mini mini and bumped along until its your turn to be dropped off and endless waiting to catch the mini bus in hospital corridors. Sorry you are both sick at the same time. You should receive extra benefits talk to your cancer nurses about claiming attendance allowance etc for both of you and use the money to pau private carer to come and help you also to cook  laundry and clean for you so you can rest and just try to support each other instead of worrying about the day to day stuff. However Im sure your family will want to help both of you and wont consider it being a burden. Sometimes asking for help is difficult but just think how you would react if someone close to you were in your position I'm sure you wouldnt think twice about being there for them. take care of you both x

Reply
  • Offline

    as far as your husband chemo he will be classes as medically vulnerable so you can ask for individual hospital transport in most areas, This will mean a taxi door to door not shoved on some mini mini and bumped along until its your turn to be dropped off and endless waiting to catch the mini bus in hospital corridors. Sorry you are both sick at the same time. You should receive extra benefits talk to your cancer nurses about claiming attendance allowance etc for both of you and use the money to pau private carer to come and help you also to cook  laundry and clean for you so you can rest and just try to support each other instead of worrying about the day to day stuff. However Im sure your family will want to help both of you and wont consider it being a burden. Sometimes asking for help is difficult but just think how you would react if someone close to you were in your position I'm sure you wouldnt think twice about being there for them. take care of you both x

Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.