Hi anaunt,  I have secondary breast cancer with mets in spine and pelvis.  I find it is better if family and friends treat you normally and talk as they would normally.  I think it is better to try and stick to same routine whenever possible.  I think maybe different for everyone, but personally I prefer everyone to treat me normally and I talk about it when and if I feel like it.  I hope it helps and wish your family member lots of luck x