Hi everyone, hope you all had a good weekend. How are you all doing at the moment? I'm starting my radiotherapy on Wednesday and will be so pleased to get it out of the way. My tummy wound is healing, albeit it slowly, hoping it will be healed by Christmas. Now all Christmas shopping is finished, thinking of starting the wrapping today. I usually have everyone to me at Christmas, but having a break this year and going to my daughter's. It will make a lovely change for me. What are you all doing over the festive period?

HI Pippin,

I am glad to hear that your wound is finally beginning to heal, albeit slowly. I had everyone to us for Christmas and New Year, but have now decided that it's time for the younger members of the family to pick up the cudgel. We are going to my son and his family, which we are looking forward to,

It'll be great to get to your radiotherapy, at long last and I hope that it all goes well.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

HI Pippin,

I am glad to hear that your wound is finally beginning to heal, albeit slowly. I had everyone to us for Christmas and New Year, but have now decided that it's time for the younger members of the family to pick up the cudgel. We are going to my son and his family, which we are looking forward to,

It'll be great to get to your radiotherapy, at long last and I hope that it all goes well.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, good to hear that you will be getting looked after over Christmas this year. I normally have my mum and dad along with other members of the family. I thought it would be too much this year, especially as everyone stays over. Mum and dad are going yo my brother's instead this year, so they'll be well looked after. I feel a bit stressy this week. Keep thinking I can feel a lump under my arm, on the side of my surgery. Not sure who to mention this to, the breast team  or plastics team. I also start my radiotherapy tomorrow, so won't have an opportunity to go anywhere about it. I'm sure it's probably nothing and just the new tissue settling in. I hope moving forward I'm not going to be scared all the time about it coming back, I  really don't want to feel like that. I'm sure I'll feel better when my wound has healed and I can get back to my walking. It's so good for the mindset and I'm really missing that. Sorry for the rant, but it feels good to get my feelings out. Xx

Hi Pippin,

You're probably feeling stressy this week because of the unknowns in starting radiotherapy. Once you get the first session over, it'll be a walk in the park for you, in comparison to all that you've been through before. It's certainly worth having a word with your breast care nurse today about the lump. In most cases this is just scar tissue, but you're best to make sure.

I was really scared of recurrence for the first few years after surgery. I attended various course and we formed some self-help groups after these courses finished. I found these a great help and, although I still worry from time to time, it is no longer an overawing concern. I have also lost a few friends to freak accidents in that time and have now decided that life is too short to let this fear take it over. I'm sure that you're missing your walks and being able to commune with nature, but it shouldn't be much longer before you can get back outdoors again.

Did you manage to start wrapping your presents yesterday. I have bought mine, but still have to wrap and post a lot of them.

Having all the family over for Christmas would certainly be too much for you this year. I'm glad to hear that your children have stepped up to the plate and that you'll be able to relax for once.

I shall be thinking of you tomorrow and I hope that it all goes well.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Thanks for your reply Jolamine, I'm really not sure why I'm feeling so stressed out. I haven't contacted breast care nurse yet as I can't get to them to check it out, due to being at radiotherapy every day from tomorrow. I'm hoping I might get a follow up with the plastic surgeon at some point, haven't seen him since my surgery. He might be able to give me a bit of reassurance. They took my whole breast and 20 lymph modes that showed no cancer, so I know I shouldn't be worried, I feel a bit silly really. I find it hard to get my head round the fact I went through all that treatment feeling really positive, but now that cancer is gone I'm feeling anxious. Maybe as you say, I'll feel more settled once radiotherapy has started. I did manage to get all the wrapping done, so at least that's out of the way. I'm sure everyone has worries after going through so much. Good to hear that the various courses were helpful to you. I think I'll get onto that in the new year. I think it would be helpful to sit and chat to others, who have been through the same thing and know how you feel. Xx

Hi Pippin,

I am delighted to hear that all of your lymph nodes were clear - that in itself, must be a reassurance.

We work towards the end goal for so long, without realising how daunting things become, after all treatment is finished. I found one of the hardest parts was, when I was discharged after 5 years, and I felt that I had no safety blanket around me from my care team.

You're not being silly at all. You've been so positive all along, that you're bound to have a 'blip' - that's why we refer to the rollercoaster journey of a cancer diagnosis. Just go with the flow for now - your positivity will return.

If you contact the nurses now, the can make an appointment around your radiotherapy schedule, or even make one for when you're finished with it. It will get harder to get an appointment as the holidays approach.

I would highly recommend these courses for moving forward. You meet like-minded positive people, who are trying to restore normality to their lives.

Well done for getting all of your wrapping done - one less thing to worry about!

Will be thinking about you tomorrow.

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much for you reassuring words Jolamine. I will give the breast care nurse a ring, they may well be able to give me some reassurance over the phone. As you say it's just a blip, I definitely need to get back to my walking. I'm also wondering if the new tablets could be affecting me a bit. I'm not sleeping so well, due to the hot flushes returning, since starting letrazole. I feel better already, now that I've decided to make the phone call, so thank you for that. Xx

Hi Pippin,

I hope that the nurse may be able to put your mind to rest. I'm glad to hear that deciding to phone has already made you feel a little better. 

I'm sorry to hear about the poor sleeping and flushes. This sounds like the side-effects of Letrozole. It took about 4 weeks before I began to feel the effects.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

I've been on the letrazole for about 4 weeks now. Did you find that the side effects improved over time? When I was first diagnosed I had to come off HRT, so GP gave me venlafaxine to help with the flushes. I could up the dose if necessary, but wonder if things might settle down over time. Xx

Hi Pippin,

Many people find that the side-effects do settle with time, but sadly, this didn't happen in my case. I take Venlafaxine too and started taking this the year before I started Letrozole. At the time, I was taking Tamoxifen and I found that this really affected my emotions, whereas Letrozole caused me a lot of pain in my joints. Most of the hormone therapies have similar side-effects.

I hope that you are one of the lucky ones and that you'll find the side-effects begin to settle given time.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Ladies,

Sorry for radio silence again!..I am still here and still reading all your messages.

 Pippin24 Good luck with you radio today...not that you'll need it. Honestly i think it will be a walk in the park for you. Do take rest if and when you need...for me though radio was the easiest part by a mile and actually didn't have any side effects...so i really hope this is the case with you. Keeping eveything crossed for you. I can't remember how many sessions you're having?

So happy to hear that you're not hosting Christmas this year, that will be a lovely break for you and i hope you get to put your feet up and be spoilt a little! Glad to hear you scar is healing too - hopefully you can get out for your walks soon.

Sorry you're feeling a little anxious at the moment though,i think that's totally normal and i can HARD relate! I'm finding this part so tricky to deal with, all the homones etc affecting sleep too but also my moods, feeling pretty low and teary at the moment which is not me at all. It's scary...but i'm hoping my body will adjust to the drugs in time (my oncologist said 6-9 months!!!!!) but as long as i know they will, that is helping. I am feeling a little better this week...just so teary and i'm starting to bore myself!!..let alone my friends!!!!! But i'll get there i'm sure...think it's processing everything that's happened in the past year, looking at what the future looks like, worry of recurrence and then also dealing with my hormones being plumemted into menopause....oh and my husbands redundancy!...i've also got two poorly kids who were sent home from school!!....just cold/temp etc so hoping they'll be back in soon but it's just a lot...espeically this time of year...still need to finish off the xmas shopping!.....BUT one day at a time!!!

 Jolamine  How are you doing at the moment? I know your tilt test isn't too far away...how are you feeling otherwise? Have you manged to get all your shopping done?

ROBIN71  How are you? Hows the chemo going? Hope you're hanging on in there!

NGS  ANy newsx your end?

So sorry for sporadic responses i am still here!!!!

Good luck today Pippin - you got this!!

Take care ladies! xx

Hi Greeny80, I am having 15 sessions of radiotherapy and can now tick off number one. It all went smoothly, just the 3 hour round trip a bit of a pain. 

Sorry to hear that you are also struggling a bit at the moment, with sleep and feeling emotional. As you say the change in hormones can have a big effect. Also you are right about trying to process everything over the past few months. I seemed so positive while going through chemo and surgery. Now I'm told cancer has gone, I seem anxious and worried, seems so strange. 

I'm sorry you have the added stress of your husband's redundancy and 2 poorly children. I hope they both feel better soon. 

I hope you start to feel better soon, just know you're not on your own. Always here for a chat, if you're feeling down. Xx