Thanks everyone for your reassurance, it really does help. I think I was worried as I know the cancer is still there at the moment, didn't want it to start increasing in size again, especially after going through all that chemo. But as you all say, they wouldn't risk leaving it so long if this was likely. I am on the phesgo injections, which apparently will keep this from happening. I have an oncology phone call on Monday, so I will delay booking flights until I know they are happy with date of surgery. Hoping to get the results of my ct lung scan too.

NGS, just wondered, do they use dissolvable stitches when you have surgery? Hope your healing is going well.

Carol, I hope you are feeling OK after your radiotherapy.

Greeny80, hope all is going well with your radiotherapy, nearly there!

Jolamine, thank you for your continues support, hope you are keeping well.

Hope you're all managing to stay cool in this heat, it has been a little too hot.xx

Hi all.  Not sure if it’s because of  radiotherapy or just the way I feel. But have felt really lonely and a bit down today. But at the same time, I don’t want to see anyone! How crazy is that? I took the dog for a walk to see if that would help, which it did while I was out, but fed up again now I’m home.  Anyone else get like this sometimes? I live alone, so no-one to talk to about it. 

Sorry to dump on you all 

xx

H Carol.   Oh hun I know exactly how you feel.  Firstly you are not alone. We are all here for you.  I like you have been really low this week ; even tearful which is so not like me.  I think it is the overwhelming enormity of what we have been through.  And as the journey sort of comes to an end it hits you like a brick wall. 
I look in the mirror and hate what looks back at me.   I hate being a burden on others.  I feel a shadow of the person I was before October last year.  I don’t want to feel alone but like you I really don’t want to see anyone outside of my bubble - because I look so different 

can I ask where abouts you live if you don’t mind me asking.  I often wonder if any of us are nearby.  

my breast care team have mentioned a Macmillan moving on course which is face to face which I am hoping to join in time.  I feel i need to be in the company of survivors / warriors who in truth just get it 

This forum for sure has been invaluable. 
so going back to location.  I know skegness have a warriors group that meet monthly 

Peterborough have a cancer wellbeing centre open to all - I live in Lincolnshire -   They run arts groups and counseling support but you can pop in at any time just for a coffee and chat 

please don’t be alone.  I’m often awake late in night or through night 

we are here for you 

xxx Norma xxx

Hi Norma

Thank you so much for replying so quickly. I know everyone is busy and have their own lives and worries so I really appreciate it. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way too.

i didn’t know about the McMillan workshops so will definitely have a look for them, thank you.

i guess I’m lucky as, apart from having shorter, darker hair than before I don’t look any different. But I am conscious that could change in years to come if it returns.  I’m very apprehensive about starting the ibandronic acid and will try to discuss it in more detail when I see my oncologist week after next.

I’m in Derbyshire, so not a million miles from Lincolnshire, depending which side you’re on.

carol xx

Hi Norma

Thank you so much for replying so quickly. I know everyone is busy and have their own lives and worries so I really appreciate it. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way too.

i didn’t know about the McMillan workshops so will definitely have a look for them, thank you.

i guess I’m lucky as, apart from having shorter, darker hair than before I don’t look any different. But I am conscious that could change in years to come if it returns.  I’m very apprehensive about starting the ibandronic acid and will try to discuss it in more detail when I see my oncologist week after next.

I’m in Derbyshire, so not a million miles from Lincolnshire, depending which side you’re on.

carol xx