How do you do the "waiting game"?

Yesterday when I heard the news, after my biopsy was taken, that on a scale of 1-5 they gave me a 4 for a probability that I had cancer I was really pragmatic and wanted to discuss all the possible options with the breast cancer nurse.  Today I just feel physically sick and on the brink of having a melt down.  

What hints do you have to distract yourself.  I have a 2-3 week wait for confirmation of the results.

Any advice appreciated.

Thank you.

  • Dave, there is a scoring system for mammograms and ultrasounds in the UK, the 5 point breast imaging scoring system, Europe and the USA have a slightly different system - BIRADS.

  • I understand that, but sharing those scores with a patient without fully explaining that these are levels of suspicion of malignancy which aren’t 100% reliable/accurate and that a diagnosis can’t be confirmed without a biopsy is bad practice and can raise anxiety levels unnecessarily. 
    Over the years, we’ve had many complaints on here about the impact of false negatives and of false positives prematurely shared which were overturned when the biopsy results were eventually received. 
    I had a different type of cancer but the consultants I was seeing were very careful to use wording like “your scan results make it seem likely that you have a malignant tumour but we won’t know for sure either way until the biopsy results are back. This gave me the opportunity to prepare psychologically for any bad news, without prematurely losing hope - or feeling I’d been misled if the news was good (which it had been ten years earlier when there was a query about a different type of cancer). 

  • I agree with you entirely. A consultant said to me, words to the effect of, we have to be careful with words but it looks suspicious. That was fair enough. Two days later I had a letter from a different consultant who had seen me ten days previously that was totally careless with words, used medical terminology some of which I understood and some I didn't but looked up and wished I hadn't; that letter made me feel my world had ended by its awful diagnosis. One week later I had a biopsy done fotr which I await the results.

  • Oh David, she did say that they couldn't be 100% sure until the biopsy results were back.  She did ask whether I was someone who wanted to know everything or not, I said I was.  Knowing and research helps me feel slightly in control of a uncontrollable situation.  I expect she would have approached things entirely differently if someone said they just needed the minimal amount of information.  Thanks for taking the time to answer.  I'm sorry my previous message might have seemed a little curt, pressed reply accidentally.  Stilling counting down the days until the results, 1 week ends tomorrow, so one or two more weeks to wait.  That really is the kicker, the unknown and the limbo.  

  • Mary, I was asked if I wanted to know everything or the minimal amount.  For me to cope, I need to know everything, to research, to look at options, its my way of getting through whatever is going to be thrown my way.

  • That's fair enough then. I was just adding my experience.

    Take care, keep posting, we are here to listen and help if possible.

  • No worries. 
    Whatever patients say they want, clinicians need to be super-cautious as there have been cases of suicide taking place before a negative biopsy result has been received following a gloomy initial assessment. 
    Like you, I wanted every bit of information I could glean. It was about two weeks from biopsy to consultation. That was probably the most stressful fortnight of my life ..: despite me working in a warzone more than once!
    My wife was even more badly affected mentally and emotionally than I was - again it was the lack of control that was the kicker.

  • Thank you.  Good luck with your results, hoping its all of nothing for you.

  • Dave, I hope you are all clear now.  We have been on this path before, only I was the partner that time.  9 years ago my OH was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and it really is difficult being the partner.  Fortunately he has been in remission since he received treatment so all good.

    We all deal with these situations differently. Onwards and upwards.