Hi HPMS,

A very warm welcome to our forum. 

I can understand how you're feeling as you wait for your biopsy. We nearly all feel tearful and overemotional at this stage and our overactive imaginations don't help. Many of us get annoyed with our poor well meaning hubbies, who try to persuade us to look on the positive side. Remember that he will be terrified too. 

Fortunately, our worst fears seldom come to pass. you will feel better once you have a diagnosis and a treatment plan. I felt exactly like you when I was first diagnosed. That was 13 years ago. I found a second cancer in the same breast the following year. First time I had a lumpectomy and the second was a double mastectomy. Thankfully, I am still here and leading a busy and fulfilling life. Treatments really have advanced tremendously. I lost my mum to breast cancer and there is just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and aftercare which we've both had.

I hope that you get your biopsy soon and that you don't have too long to wait for the results. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,
jolamine xx

Thank you all for your comments. 

The biopsy of the enlarged larged lymph node came back normal. (Yay - got to take the small wins) 

Have been told due to position and size I will need to have a single mastectomy with sentinel node evaluation. They have told me I am unable to have an immediate reconstruction and it will be delayed as I will almost certainly have radiotherapy following and they want the best possible overall chance of a getting it gone and treated without ruining a reconstruction. (This is what I'm really struggling with)

Chemo will depend on oncotype/lymph node evaluation. 

I'm floored. Everytime I have gone things have gotten worse. Gone from its small well whip it out you'll be fine (consultants words!!) to this!!!

I'm really struggling with the idea of being flat on one side for a year (or possibly more with the current waits) I feel like  they have told me they are chopping a leg off .  I know I want my life more than my boob but I'm devastated. 

I'm more scared for my hubby and kids than ever. I feel numb like I can't climb out of this whirlwind. 

H 

Thank you all for your comments. 

The biopsy of the enlarged larged lymph node came back normal. (Yay - got to take the small wins) 

Have been told due to position and size I will need to have a single mastectomy with sentinel node evaluation. They have told me I am unable to have an immediate reconstruction and it will be delayed as I will almost certainly have radiotherapy following and they want the best possible overall chance of a getting it gone and treated without ruining a reconstruction. (This is what I'm really struggling with)

Chemo will depend on oncotype/lymph node evaluation. 

I'm floored. Everytime I have gone things have gotten worse. Gone from its small well whip it out you'll be fine (consultants words!!) to this!!!

I'm really struggling with the idea of being flat on one side for a year (or possibly more with the current waits) I feel like  they have told me they are chopping a leg off .  I know I want my life more than my boob but I'm devastated. 

I'm more scared for my hubby and kids than ever. I feel numb like I can't climb out of this whirlwind. 

H 

Hi Hpms,

I am delighted to hear that the biopsy of the large lymph node was clear.

This isn't bad news. It is great! We all have sentinel node evaluation at the time of surgery, so this is nothing to worry about. I can see why you're struggling with the idea of being flat for a year following surgery. The only person who'll be aware of this is your hubby. Prostheses nowadays really do  look like the real thing, when you are dressed. 

Here again, you can count yourself lucky that you will still be a candidate for reconstruction in a year.  This is such a small gap out of your life, that you'll hardly notice it. I wasn't able to have reconstruction following my double mastectomy and have had to rely on am assortment of different prostheses for different activities. I can't say that I particularly like this, but I am still here, so even the loss of my breasts, which were my pride and joy, is still a small price to pay.

You can do this and, we're all here to support you along the way.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi, I came across your post and I'm in a similar situation....I'm only 36 and have grade 2 60mm invasive lobular breast cancer. Been told I'll have to have a masectomy and radiotherapy and can then consider a reconstruction after a year or so. Im dreading coming home with a part of me missing, I would have this surgery a thousand times over if it means im alive and healthy for my kids but my god i'm so scared that I'm not going to be able to love myself when I don't look like me anymore! I'm already booking in beauty treatments to make myself feel better and look as much like myself as possible while recovering. 

Have you had your surgery yet? Hope you are ok xxx

Hi there

I have now had the surgery (news is as positive as it can be for now but still waiting on next steps x) 

So right mastectomy and sentinal node biopsy + 3 further nodes. 

I'm not going to sugar coat and say its Easy because I'm heartbroken and feel so alone, but it means it has gone, and it was no where near as bad as I had pictured it in my head )  recovery really was OK just needed to listen to my body, its definatley a roller coaster x do the excersizes and keep moving it does really help, don't be tempted to skip them. 

I don't yet love what I see in the mirror and still having lots of meltdowns and tears but I'm learning (even if i stood in m&s bra dept bawling with my mum 2 days ago)  xxx

Take care of yourself and keep in touch xx happy for you to vent if you need too xx

The nurses and surgeon took such good care of the crying wobbly mess I was x 

I've had eyebrows done just in case and invested in some big baggy hiding jumpers (luckily fashionable right now) and focusing on making some lovely moments together with the kids x 

H x 

Also in terms of practical tips x

I was in for the day, in at lunchtime out at 9pm x kids went on a sleepover didn't want them to see me in pain x 

V pillow helped at night but really only pillows to prop you up x

A small pillow for under your bad arm helps to keep arm away from your side or armpit x 

Pjs - button up or zip up top save struggling x treated myself a really nice one before, needed help getting dresses brushing hair for a good few days x 

It depends on the surgeon but I did not have a drain in which I this helped with feeling comfortable a little sooner but that really will depend on your situation x 

Painkillers upstairs and down to save you having to worry about where they are x 

Wishing you all the luck in the world x never thought I would be in this situation but here we are. I've decided I have my babies to fight for so that's what I'm doing x 

Glad to hear all has gone well. Sounds like you have done amazingly, well done you!! I always used to be a bottle it up kind of person but I have definitely learnt to let it out and it feels so much better after a brief breakdown. Thank you for the support, I think we underestimate how strong us women are sometimes xx