Hello, and may I say how sorry I am to hear about your diagnosis and what you are going through.  I can understand how disappointed you feel that your boyfriend is not being supportive, but the fact is, he has just lost his father and he is grieving.  To lose a parent is one of the hardest losses we will ever go through, and quite frankly, I know you are undoubtedly feeling traumatised by your diagnosis, but surely you can see why your boyfriend is behaving the way he is can't you?  Not only is he having to deal with the pain of losing his dad, but he has now got to face the fact that you, his partner of 4 and a half years has cancer.  His mind and his emotions must be all over the place.  No-one can tell you whether to stay with your boyfriend or to leave him.........that must be your choice and yours alone..........a crisis either brings a couple closer together or it rips them apart.  Take care, I wish you all the best, Violet, x

Hello, and may I say how sorry I am to hear about your diagnosis and what you are going through.  I can understand how disappointed you feel that your boyfriend is not being supportive, but the fact is, he has just lost his father and he is grieving.  To lose a parent is one of the hardest losses we will ever go through, and quite frankly, I know you are undoubtedly feeling traumatised by your diagnosis, but surely you can see why your boyfriend is behaving the way he is can't you?  Not only is he having to deal with the pain of losing his dad, but he has now got to face the fact that you, his partner of 4 and a half years has cancer.  His mind and his emotions must be all over the place.  No-one can tell you whether to stay with your boyfriend or to leave him.........that must be your choice and yours alone..........a crisis either brings a couple closer together or it rips them apart.  Take care, I wish you all the best, Violet, x

Hi Violet, Thanks for your honest reply. I guess I needed to hear that. I do understand that he is really hurting and that his life has changed forever. However, I find it really tough that he hasn't been someone that I can talk to about my diagnosis. I guess these series of events have dredged up underlying issues in our relationship. I will try to be more understanding of his grief and sadness.

I am in the process of trying to find us some counselling, it seems that he doesn't want to do this and most places don't recommend bereavement counselling this soon after loss (month and a half) but given the circumstances of my diagnosis our local service have offered couples counselling. I think it would be useful to talk about what it is going on. Especially as we have quite a complicated living arrangement. We live above a pub which offers little peace or privacy, something I have been struggling with for some time. I need his support to make this living arrangement work but in all honesty I don't see it working.