Dear Georgia,

I felt I needed too reply as no one has yet, Im younger than your Mum, I'm 38 and was Diagnosed in October,.

I can imagine that this news is completely devastating for you and really scary, I Iost my Dad to Brain Cancer a before I was told I had BC so I can completely relate to how your feeling from both Sides. This is the worst you will feel, the not knowing and waiting for results is the worst, our minds tend too run wild and go too the dark thinking lots of things. 
 Do you know what breast Cancer she has? 

i firsty want too say that she will be really well looked after by her team she will be assigned a Breast Care Nurse, I found mine great as I often needed some reassurance. The MRI and CT scans is perfectly normal they do this so that they can see exactly what they are dealing with and plan your mums Treatment from these results unfortunately the waiting is the worst it all seems to take so long. 
 

I know you will be worried about the results but once you have everything on the table you will feel much better. 
 

love Sarah 

Hi Georgia,

As Sarah has said, the different tests are perfectly normal, to ensure your mum gets the most appropriate treatment. I know this is the worst possible time for you, you have no good information yet, just waiting and worrying.
I can tell you, now, it is worse for you, than it will be for your mum. There was no parent ever, as overprotective as adult children become at the word cancer.  I was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer a couple of years ago at 73 years old and I can honestly say my daughter and son suffered far more than I did, at every step in my treatment. I became a virtual prisoner to their anxiety.  They got the surgeon to do my mastectomy in the afternoon, despite my going in the night before. Why? Because if I had it done in the morning, as was expected and as I hoped, I would have gone home that night and they were scared of something happening to me overnight.. They wouldn't let me do anything! I couldn't drive, couldn't shop, I couldn't even walk the dog until my drain came out, and it wasn't even bothering me.  My son moved in and  " took care of me"  but, bless him, when he left I then had three weeks cleaning to do!

 Now, life's back to normal and I get called on to do shopping, doggy day care and all the other the mum things I always did for my daughter,  and I'm lucky to get a weekly FaceTime call from my son, these days and I wouldn't have it any different! 

There really is life after cancer, it just might be a bit different. 

I'm not being funny but just remember your mum is still the strong, intelligent woman who knew everything  when you were a little child. Try not to show how scared you are because that will make it harder for her to deal with her own emotions. Honestly, it will get better when you know exactly what you're facing and how you will do it.

Good luck for Friday, 

Christine xxx

Hi Sarah

Thank you so much for your reply.

I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and the loss of your dad. I hope you're okay and your treatment is going well.

I don't know exactly which type of breast cancer she has. I've asked her a few times for details but she doesn't seem to know much yet and I don't like to push. I know that it is invasive, ductal stage 2. I spoke to her partner at the weekend too and he says that the doctor explained that they have a grading system of 1-8 of how well they think the cancer will respond to treatment, 8 being the best and my mum is an 8, so that has made me feel better. My biggest worry is that the CT scan and MRI scan are going to reveal that it has spread. I'm absolutely terrified, but I guess I just have to wait til Friday.

But you are right, I think on Friday I will feel a lot better once I know what we're dealing with.

Thank you so much.

Take care xx

Hi Christine

Thank you so much for your message. It has really helped me to hear your positive story after dealing with stage 2 breast cancer. And thank you for your advice; I don't show my mum how scared I am. I don't want her to worry for me, although I know she will. I feel for my husband because when we spend time with my mum I am very positive and happy, and then I come home and slump into a negative teary mess with my husband, but it's great to have him there for support.

So glad to hear your story was a positive one and I'll just keep praying my mum's is the same.

Thank you so much xx 

Hi Georgia,

It all sounds positive , it sounds like your Mum as the same as me Incasive Ductal Carcinoma, mine is also Oestrogen Fed, maybe that's the same aswel? , usually the stages are 1-4, and Graded 1-3, the stage is different to the Grade. 

You will no doubt be given all this Information on Friday along with all her results. I hope that although it's not ideal her results are as good as they can be. You will have a treatment plan on Friday which will be great. 
 

She will be okay, she has you and you will help her through it. Love Sarah 

Hi Sarah

Just wanted to say thanks again for your message. My mum has had her results and they were as positive as they could be. The cancer has stayed local and hasn't spread outside the breast. She is starting with chemo soon and then surgery, but they have said that it can be cured which is everything I wanted to hear!

I think my mums is also Estrogen based. Possibly due to a HRT patch which she started using around 9 months ago. Can I ask what treatment you have had and how you have found it? xx

Hi Georgia, 

im sorry to find that you have needed to be here. 
I am 34 and newly diagnosed stage 2 bc. 
I can honestly say that as the patient, it's actually a little easier for us. We are in control, and we are sooo much tougher then anyone can ever imagine. 
It's really important that you speak to your mum about how your feeling, as I guarantee she is worried more about how you are. 
it's weird being the one with cancer, because for us we adapt, we get through whatever is needed to get better again. 
do not change how you are with your mum, so not change actions around her, if she is anything like me, I need normalcy around me. Most of all make sure she is aware that you are there for her, and let her deal with things in her way. I have found keeping a mood journal helps my family understand how I feel any given day, also what my last few days have been like. Helps them see that I am ok. Obviously there is worry and concern, and somedays I feel I want to do nothing, then next day I want to be really organised. This is all part of the natural process of it all settling in. Once you fully know the steps and the plan, try to only focus on the next appointment, maybe aske if she needs helps documenting her millions of appointments. I have created a chalk board that has any appointments, medications, names and numbers of key doctors and nurses. This way everyone can see what's upcoming. 
Not sure if this is helpful or not, but please please don't change anything about your interactions with her, as I say she will be worried about you! 

Hi Sarah

Thanks again for your message and sorry for the late reply.

Thank you for all of that information. It's really helped to reassure me. My mum starts her chemo at the end of the month and I'm absolutely dreading it. I'm so scared for her. She will be having a pic line too which I know she's really nervous for. Is it painful?

She is going to have 4 rounds of chemo and then will have surgery and possibly more chemo afterwards if needed. She will have chemo for a week and then two weeks off before starting the next round.

What can I expect her to be like? I'm just trying to figure out if she will want me to visit every couple of days (she lives with her partner) to cheer her up, or will she be too tired and out of it? Is there anything you can recommend I do to help? Sorry for all the questions. I just want to make sure I'm as helpful as possible. I really just want her to get better and to help make it all as painless as I can for her.

Have you finished your chemo now? How are you doing? Hope everything is going well xxxx

Hello

Thank you for your lovely message. I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. My mum is also stage 2. How are you finding treatment?

I will definitely take on board everything you have said. As someone who is going through treatment yourself, is there anything you can recommend I do to help my mum when she starts chemo? Making some homemade soups for example or making sure I visit her every day or 2 to cheer her up? Or perhaps just giving her a phone call every day and letting her know I'm there for her? As you say, I know she will definitely be worried about me and that's almost what worries me. I want to be as much help as I can to her but not be a burden and I don't really know what to expect. I don't want to be visiting her every other day thinking I am cheering her up when really all she wants to do is rest and get better but she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. It would be useful to know how you've felt throughout your treatment, and what kind of things you would have found useful from family members xxx