im just wondering how other people deal with these changes? i want to do my best to be there, to do everything with them and support them always. but its incredibly difficult sometimes.
im just wondering how other people deal with these changes? i want to do my best to be there, to do everything with them and support them always. but its incredibly difficult sometimes.
Hello. I’m coming at this from a different angle, I have bowel cancer currently undergoing chemo and my life has totally imploded since 27 December when it all began.
My husband has been amazing having to cope, I was given a stoma, with my never ending crises ... I am, still am just hidden at the moment, fiercely independent, have a full and busy life ... all on hold and I’m angry about it. I have found him, my family, my friends suffocating on occasion with their anecdotes of others they know, of survival, of coping, of how I am strong and have to get well and survive as I am needed ... I have often felt like getting in my car and driving and never coming back to deal with everyone else’s needs of me, or are they percived needs... who knows.
So my advice to you is that your partner will have changed, apart from the trauma of surgery, they have to get their head round their own mortality and you both sound so young. That’s scary. You are not responsible for them, if you love them get on with your life encourage them to be part if it, but also allow them to find their own way as it may be different now.
There is a lot of support I am doing some cbt at the moment and enjoying it ... signpost to positivity and focus on life that’s my plan.
happy Easter
Hi .b.l..
As a cancer survivor myself, for many years after my treatment, my big worry was that the cancer might recur, and if that were to happen then whatever type of recovery I'd managed to build for myself would vanish in an instant; I'd be back not just where I was, but in a worse position.
It took years for me to rebuild myself, and it's now only 10 years later that I'm no longer sweating at every blood test... only for my fears to return when I read of someone whose cancer returned after 10 years of apparent cure.
I've no idea if this is what's preying your partner's mind - if so, then talks of successes and beating the cancer might just be ringing hollow in their mind, with an ever-nagging fear that they're just one blood test or one scan away from a disaster.
My cancer diagnosis changed me. Eventually I retired from my job and was able to concentrate on playing music. I was supported by my ever-loving wife every step of the way and I'm eternally grateful to her.