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Cancer and coping

Jen1
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Morning....my husband has been diagnosed with neck and throat cancer...he's had six weeks of daily radiation and is now through the other side trying to put on weight and getting back to what is a normal life......
It seems harder now trying to get back to normal and accepting life with cancer, every lump or bump sends me I to a panic.....it's like not knowing what to do apart from exist on a day to day basis....I see Cancer adverts everywhere but I still, after everything we have been through, can't quite connect that that is our life, it's all so surreal....
At the cancer clinic the reality of it all sinks in, so many people going through so much it crushes me......
I feel at odds with life the present is scary and the future is sometimes frightening...I don't know how to accept it all and move on properly.....I coped well with the diagnosis and looking after him with the treatment and the awful afterwards but the getting back to normality is so much harder.....

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    Hi Jen

    I can relate to you in so many ways. My husband was diagnosed with tonsil cancer that had spread to his lymph nodes in Dec 2015. Following his treatment we are lucky that he is in remission and doing well. However our lives are consumed by the thought it could return. Every twinge, ache or pain he gets has me panicking and my anxiety levels go up through the roof. Im trying to get back to normal but its always tgere and i think it always will be - we will never be the same.

    best wishes for a continued recovery for your husband

    xx

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    Hi there xx

    I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in November 2016; I had surgery in January and this was found to be enough to remove the cancer and I haven't needed any further treatment.

    Getting back to "normal" is definitely a challenge! I had no symptoms, my cancer was picked up following further investigations after an abnormal smear test. So I feel like I almost can't "trust" my body any more...and every ache, pain, bleed, visit to a healthcare professional etc. makes me very on edge. I'm 9 weeks post op this week and making plans to return to work in the coming weeks and I've started some counselling, all of which is really helping me try to focus on the future. I've had a run of really good days recently where I've felt a little bit like my "old self" (although I can't quite remember who that lass was!!) and today I've been a little bit anxious and worried about cancer coming back in the future while reminding myself that I'm only 9 weeks post op so the mild symptoms I've been noticing this week are indeed down to the normal healing process after what was quite a radical surgery!

     

    i found some leaflets from Macmillan that I picked up from my local library the other week helpful; I'm sure the same information is available on their website. Indeed I'm sure there's lots of great advice on this website if we have a little look about. The Macmillan leaflets are called:

    "How are you feeling: the emotional effects of cancer"

    "Life after cancer treatment"

    "Worrying about cancer coming back"

    I keep them in my "cancer drawer"...the drawer in my sideboard where all of my clinic letters, leaflets etc. Are kept. I've found it helpful to have a flick through them when I'm having a particularly anxious day.

    im told by many who are further on in the process of recovering that this is all very normal. Once touched by cancer we can't be "untouched"...it's a case of finding ourselves after the storm is over and working out where we go next,a day at a time if we need to. And to be gentle with ourselves because we can only do the best that we can do on that particular day xx

    Sending love and best wishes to all :)

    Sarah xx

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