Hi Jules, Jo and Hope,

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I think Mrs B is on the mend at last. Is begining to eat and drink again and am very relieved as being diabetic I was concerned she would have a really bad turn just like she used to have years ago. I can tell she is feeling better for she is now worrying about the washing and hoovering; a sure sign she is feeling a bit better. The donuts she asked me to go out and get yesterday seem to have done the trick.

Jules, sorry to hear mum was in her non-comunication mode yesterday. Glad to hear you have now got everything sorted with the SS and have even got the refund. Strange how if they are owed, it is needed immediatly but when they owe it back, the wheels take so long to react.

Take care everyone, best wishes to you all, Brian.

Good morning Brian

Hope today sees both you andMrs B feeling better still.  Tell Mrs B to take it easy and not to rush back into the housework as we all know these nasty bugs take a while to fully recover from.

Visiting Mum is always a 'wait and see' affair and sadly I do not think her outlook on life is likely to change much.  At least I have the relief in knowing she is safely cared for and the staff always find the time to chat with me too when I am there. I continue to chat to her about our family life otherwise there would be little point in me being there and when she does have a 'good visit' face on, make the most of it. Bless her she will be 89 next month (her sister is 85 and back gardening following surgery for cancer just before last Christmas but they are totally different personalities) and spends the day sitting staring or sleeping in her favourite chair in the garden room whilst life moves on around her. The staff regularly try to have her join in with the daily activities/outings but she has her own mindset and is rarely persuaded though she is quick to remind them when its mealtimes!

Have enjoyed being able to get back into the garden (even lunched out there on my day off) and once again it is lovely here this morning (though a little chilly outside so breakfast was indoors!!).  Hoping it manages to stay dry for my short break which starts next Wednesday (seems strange to be having another holiday so quickly but then think it will do all the family good to relax together after the turmoil of the past months.  Strangley we have all said that its a little harder now that we are not so busy with arrangments/appointments etc but definitely, for me, trying to take it day to day still is the best way. Having little things to look forward to is helping and have even managed to get through half a new book in the past week so maybe my concentration levels are improving too ha ha. My friend from work has raised the possibility of another day trip in early May which will be nice and am so lucky to have family/friends close by. Also due to have hubby's sister coming for a visit next month so will host a family gathering so we can all catch up.

Right, best do some paperwork before going into work. Tomorrow will be kept busy entertaining Zack as my daughter has her hospital appointment (told this could be up to four hours depending on what tests they run) so will have my 'granny hat' on.

Regards to you and all the family. Jules x

Hi Jules,

Unfortunately both of us have gone back a step today. Think Mrs B tried to do too much yesterday. But she is still eating so thankful for that; my basic cooking cant be that bad?????. Coulndt go to see my grandson or the wood club last night. Both front and back lawns need mowing and I am getting frustrated at not bieng able to get and do things.

Hope you enjoy the visit tommorow by your grandson and hope daughters appiontment/ test go well. Going up and down stairs so much the past few days means I have lost a little weight so at least one bit of good news to report.

I do belive you are right about it getting a little harder a few months after losing a loved one. We have more time to absorb our loss once things have quietened down into a new kind of "normal" that will never be quite the same again. I know I felt the loss of my mother and my grandparents more after the passing of a few months. The things we used to do together hit home harder but until it happens to us, we dont realize this happens. Some people think we get over it in a matter of a few weeks but the reality is it takes as long as it takes be it months or even years. When you had been happily married for so many years like you were, It is going to take time and there are boung to be moments when quite reflection is in order. I think you have coped very very well, helped by your family and friends. But through out it all, you have still taken time to offer help and support to others on this great forum and I do believe this may have helped you in some way.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Hi Brian

It really is frustrating when we cannot manage to do normal jobs when those pesky bugs hit. Hoping today has seen an improvement for you both. With such lovely weather, to be missing out of going outside and 'managing' the garden must be sending  you straight to the cheese and nuts (if there are any left!). I know you will especially have missed the visit to see the grandchildren and your wood club (just as much as they will miss seeing you). It must have been quite a shock too to hear about the loss of one of your club mates. An aneurysm strikes so quickly(my Dad was one of the luckier ones as at aged 71 he survived a heart aneurysm - Mum's quick action - undergoing emergency surgery within an hour of reaching A&E and then follow up triple bypass (also when he found out he had high cholesterol!!!)). I am sure your thoughts are with him and his family during such a sad time.

My daughter had her appointment with the heart consultant this  morning and a very thorough echo-sound shows all is well with the blood flow through the system despite her 'extra chamber'. No abnormalities showed up and so now been referred for a 'tilt test' and 24hr fitting of heart monitor to 'double check'. Zack was happy enough having granny to play hide and seek with (eldest was picked up for school run) and had just gone down for his nap when my daughter came home.  We had a chat and then I left to go and get new battery for my watch (got up this mornining and wondered why it was 5.45 for so long.).

Fingers crossed that you and Mrs B are well for the promised dry weather over this weekend.  Take care  Jules x

Hi Jules,

After having Georges problem this morning, This afternoon my frustration boiled over. The grass on the front lawn was making rude signs at me so I went out and mowed both the front and back lawns. Mrs B is now hopefully on the mend at last and had spent the day downstairs with me. Think she has had more than enough of "my cooking" and it's been nice to have someone to talk to again. Trying to make sure she doesnt overdo things which is hard for if there is some thing need doing, she get icthy feet.

You must have been relieved your daughters test showed nothing wrong. Alway a relief when you get the results. Bet liitle zack enjoyed his time with you just as much as you enjoyed his company. Good job you didnt have to go to work today if your watch battery was flat.

Have had to cancel one of my cancer meetings for Saturday but cant be helped.

Anyway, hope you enjoy your usual Friday night out and have a great weekend. Sending kind thoughts your way, hugs, Brian and Mrs B.

Hi Brian

Happy to read that Mrs B was able to join you downstairs again and that with your 'frustrated mowing' done you may both be able to enjoy some relaxing time this weekend. You do so much for cancer locally but your own health has to take  priority this time and am sure your cooking will happily go on the 'back burner' once Mrs B fully back on her feet. A batch of cheesy somethings will be more than welcome I am sure. I have to say that I do far more 'quick cooking' these days and for the first time in ages bought a recipe book (a healthy options choice for 1 which saves 'adjusting amounts for single portions'.

I did go out last night and as usual enjoyed my social chit chat with my 'bingo buddy'.  She and her husband are in the throws of 'downsizing' to a bungalow (with fingers firmly crossed that sale/purchase can go smoothly). They are both mid 70's and a little stressed but have good family support and its always nice to catch up.  No luck at the bingo but you cannot buy friendship.

I was expecting a quiet weekend and then last night had a call from one of my friends and we are meeting up for lunch locally today. We have a small cafe/restaurant that has a sun-trap courtyard garden so with such a beautiful day this should be a pleasant place to be whilst we have food and a gossip.So washing is on and hopefully out before I go out and once lunch is over will do a mini shop (as away from midweek). Tomorrow may see a picnic in the park, if its not too breezy, with my daughter and the boys (son in law has the boys today whilst my daughter visits a friend of hers and stays overnight) so two footballs and much laughter no doubt as granny hones her 'summer skills' ha ha.  Now that Zack has fully found his legs no doubt we will all be kept on our toes.  The park has permanent goal posts so something to aim at.

Take care of yourselves and as always peaceful thoughts are sent your way. Jules x

Hi Jules,  Glad to read that your Mum is able to stay at the care home, that must be a great relief at the present time.  It's such a shame that she is so unresponsive to you though and I can understand that must be very hard, especially at this time.  However old we are our Mum's are our Mum's and I know I miss being able to talk to my Mum about things going on in my life, good and bad, so I'm sure it is the same for you. You seem to be taking the right approach though, by going with the flow, guess that's all you can do really.

Is it this weekend you are away? Just looking out of the window the sun is shining, even though I think the forecast was not as good as we've had during the week; so I hope it stays sunny for you too.  I think looking at things as making a continuation of family memories is a very good way, but I know there will be lots of sad moments too.  As I have said many times of this forum, if we love somebody so deeply then we grieve deeply too.  

I very much agree that it is wise not to make job changes (or any major changes) at the moment.  This is something I felt strongly about myself at the time. As much as a new job could keep our minds busy in reality I found that it was better to plod on with something I knew inside out; there were quite a few days when I was in zombie mode and wouldn't have coped with new responsibilities.  It's a shame that you have seen departmental changes and have fewer people to work with now.  Unfortunately jobs seem to have a habit of changing; I can never understand why when things are working well the powers to be still seem to want change, guess it's all about money though.

I hope the fresh air in Wales helps you to sleep a bit better.  For me, not sleeping was also part of the grieving process.  It's very hard because when you get up unfreshed it does seem to make everything else worse.  I would agree that medication probably isn't the answer, and as you say maybe some sort of regular relaxation routine would help.  As time moved on I found that very slowly I began to sleep better, but I have to say that since being "menopausal" my sleep patterns are often all over the place anyway!

Well I'm planning to relax and enjoy the sunshine this weekend (fingers crossed it continues) and am off to meet a friend for lunch later. Eldest back at Uni and youngest in the midst of studying - although still a bit of a party animal!

Take care Jules, thinking of you.  Hope x

Hi Jules,
No doubt you will watching the F 1 tonight, bit cheesed off the Moto GP not on till 4.30 am here, was hoping it would be on at a civilised time but no one twisting my arm to watch it, my choice
Envy your ability to read.  Still haven't got back into it yet.  Took 2 books away for the weekend and didn't open either of them.  In the olden days I would probably have read them by now.
Had a ball looking after the kidlets, big kids had a good time away knowing they were fine with me.  Next weekend having the Kidlets at mine for the weekend so have 4 days to prepare.  Requests for cooking baking activities already.  
We have a to do list already prepared.....for activities.  Little ones arguing as to where they want to sleep. One wants to sleep in magic (sofa) bed in lounge other one wants the water bed.  Guess we can do one one night and the other next night.  
Funnily enough grand daughter 2 yrs is harder to con than grandson 4 , maybe just a stronger character or maybe just too young to understand negotiation  process and thinks she can get away with more.....  
As I have a hatch back car with no kiddy seats our travels will be limited to walking distances but all doable. Plenty of gardening to be done here.  Haha. 
 Received some mail today upon my return  from time away, from palliative care unit who were off great support to us inviting me to remembrance service for those who have passed Oct 2014-March 2015, involves calling out the names of those lost and opportunity to light a candle , but to be honest don't know how I feel about this.  Think it will just rip me up again.  Will chat to a few mates and have a think.  Family and friends also invited but don't know...
Ok Jules, hope your fave wins tonight, have fun on your trip away
Sitting here being tough avoiding putting the heating on as long as poss.  Unfortunately 
Oz as sold off our essential services to overseas so money goes off shore.  Poor management by the federal and state govt but that's life.
Take care,
Kathy xx






 

Hi Kathy

Sounds like grand-kiddies had a whale of a time (no doubt you did too!!). I am not particularly practically minded in the kitchen so do not 'go there' with mine but as my daughter and the school cover this I get let off ha ha.  They do love digging in the garden  and board games for the older  boy (younger one 'post's connect 4 counters correctly but has no idea yet as to why we get excited when he gets his four in a row.

Currently watching gymnastics and the GP due on at 3.pm our time so very civilised and will settle down to watch it soon.  Love to watch most sports to be honest (better than a lot of the other stuff on tv) plus a bit of a fan of quiz shows and csi/ncis type programmes.

Have not had to have heating on here for past few weeks (20 deg. without so very comfortable). Today has been overcast but went out anyway and walked 2+ miles round trip. Visited the artisan and farmers' market and then met daughter who was out with the boys and we sat by the duckpond whilst they ate lunch. Then into the park for footie and the swings for an hour before we headed back home. No cheesy purchases today as going away and trying to empty fridge. Just tomorrow at work, visit to Mum on Tuesday and then packing.

Our local church (vicar took cremation service for hubby) does much the same thing as the palliative care are offering. It really is a very personal choice and I did not feel the need to go and so gave it a miss. Who knows how I will feel longer term but at the moment this was right for me. My friend who passed away a year next month had hospice care (both for pain management and end of life care) and her husband did go to the memorial service and said for him it was okay despite the emotions being pretty raw.  You will make the right decision for you.

My emotions took a trip last week when a single polling card (ready for general elections in May) dropped through the door - just another reminder of a different life now - to be expected but just some things easier than others I guess.

I am still not reading that much (and only when sitting outside in the garden when the technology stays indoors) - mind wandering a bit of an issue- you will understand.

Bet you will enjoy having the grandchildren over the weekend and look forward to hearing all about it. Because mine only live 20mins walk away I do not have sleepovers that often (last time was to give daughter and son in law some sleep because Zack was keeping them up night after night with teething poor little mite).  Fingers crossed this has improved since and as he is walking more and more goes to bed pretty shattered at about 6.45 (eldest in bed at 7). Long may it last!  Son in law starts new job on Monday which means he will no longer have to work weekends and they are really looking forward to being able to do things together with the boys during the summer.  They spent the whole day yesterday at local beauty spot with friends which is free (apart from drop of fuel to get there) and easy options which they all enjoyed.

Okay had best stop rambling and get my 'motorhead' on.  Enjoy the bikes. Chat soon. Hugs  Jules x