Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi Jules,
Did you watch the F1?  I got up at 4.30am to watch the MotoGP, yes I am quite mad.  Another one on next weekend so hope it's on at a more civilised time.
Managed to mow the front lawn this avo and trim some shrubs, it was too pleasant to be inside. Great minds think alike....
I think it's a great idea for you to join the Ramblers.(is that a group of chatter boxes??? Only joking).   Looking at taking up social badminton while not working, just have to find a pair of shorts that won't fall down or a trip to the shops (groan) will be required.
I had lunch out with an old boss today, she was my first employer in Oz and I left to have our son so that was 27 years ago.  So we have been friends for a long time.  I call her my surrogate mother as she didn't have any kids and we do something special around the Aussie Mother's Day.
I enjoyed the pics of Andy Murrays wedding.  Is was nice to see him look so happy and the bride was radiant.
Will do a swap with the kids and swap my 4 slice toaster for their 2 slice one.  I hardly ever use it but it did get a hammering while the visitors were here.  Funnily enough they were thinking of buying one recently.
I noticed something strange today, in the kitchen 2 tea towels were folded neatly on the over door handle/bar.   I usually have 2 tea towels there but never folded perfectly.  I kinda thought...mmmm. this isn't me.  I am not known for tidiness, more like organised chaos.  Ah well maybe the pets have learnt new habits or maybe I was sleep tidying but highly unlikely.
Maybe I will return home from shops tomorrow and find the washing has been put away haha.
Timer lamp came on ok last night but didn't actually go off.  I have tweaked it again so let's hope it turns off at bedtime.  If not I will tweak some more tomorrow or try a different timer unit.
Will you do anything with your quince when ready? Make jam? Preserve them?
Don't know if I have shared this story with you yet.  When the folks were here big sis and I were going to have a chocolate baileys ( not the sis with liver probs), so I poured her a normal measure and chose only to have a shot glass for my measure.  Being the generous daughter I am I offered mum a taste, well .....didn't see that drink again.
Next night same again but mum was going to have a drop, so served it in a baileys glass.  She wasn't exactly sipping it so we asked her to go easy(she's not a big drinker), her response...."If I finish it she may offer me another, " my giddy uncle, she is such a hoot.  A tiny little woman but very much the head of the family and so good natured and never has to raise her voice.  I don't think she has ever had to.
Bit funny as when I want to get my point across I have been known to say Nanna Boo has spoken,.... funnily enough it works.
Ok dear friend will sign off for now, don't think you have anything to be concerned about re the cholesterol tests.  Not long till your next break away, you deserve every minute of it, don't forget sun block and reading material,
Love Kathy xxx
 

Hi Kathy

I did indeed watch the F1. It was actually the highlights programme as I do not have Sky.  Happy with the result of course but lucky to catch it as I had been out for a 4+mile walk and the 'warm up lap' was in progress when I switched on the tv.  Seems strange watching it without hubby as he loved the sport (used to race 750cc racing cars in his early 20's and a lot of our 'dates' were at race meets) but then many things have a different aspect to them now.

Good luck with the shorts/badminton (my knees would not 'bounce' too well lol). Its always good to have something to aim for. Have to say I prefer retail therapy to exercise and am lucky that I can walk to local stores (most within a mile and a half of home) and also garden centre (cafe does lunch!!).

So strange that you mentioned your 'toaster swap'. I had exactly the same conversation with my daughter about my 4 slicer (Mum gave me hers when Dad died as my son said we did not have one!!). I rarely use mine anyway as usually do it under the grill so a new bit of space on the worktop soon.

I agree with you about Andy Murray's wedding pics - both looked wonderful. I love the tennis so am looking forward to Wimbledon fortnight (usually have a week off but this year looks as though staffing issues will not allow this grrrr).  Work is another story at present. Now that I work alone on the department 'enjoy' is not a word I can use.  Do have some lovely 'regulars' but also feel more vulnerable when those 'not so polite' customers turn up. Still, recognise that I am fortunate to have support and need to keep going for now as 'better the devil you know'.

Healthier eating is having desired effect and a few pounds lost so will be happier in summer clothes. Today is a beautiful Spring day with temps promised of 24 so once I have been to visit Mum this morning, and having mowed the lawn at the weekend, I feel an afternoon of relaxtion  and a good crime novel in hand looming.

Glad you are managing some catch up time with old friends.  I am hoping to arrange another coach trip with a friend soon (though will also go alone if she is not free) but first am looking forward to next Wednesday when I have my next mini break (5 days).  Before that I am looking after youngest grandson. Zack, as my daughter has her hospital appointment on Friday and has been told to allow around 4hrs for all the heart tests etc (son's girlfriend is going with her in case she cannot drive afterwards).

Well, best sign off for now, enjoy our chats but housework to finish before I go out.  Look after yourself. Hugs, Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Sorry for the late reply. We are both still suffering from the bug, Mrs B especially. She collapsed on the bathroom floor on Saturday and It took everything I had to lift her up and get her back to bed. I have been promoted to head cook but am worried she is not eating or drinking anywhere near enough despite my best efforts. I am so surprised she has not had a diabetic turn because of it.

They say the temperature may hit 25 degrees  today so you might be able to get out into the garden with your book Jules. Bet you are off to see your mother shortly and that you will enjoy the walk. The sun is out here and the birds are singing. I do believe that good weather like this makes us all feel better. I bet you notice this when serving customer at THE BOOK SHOP. Everyone seems much more cheerful when the sun is shining.

My son got another silver and a gold for longbow at archery on Saturday while my granddaughter got four more gold medals and a trophy as well. Phew, I am proud of them as it was a major shoot. Thanks for asking about my brother in law. He has been having trouble swallowing just lately so mentioned to sister in law about the drinks you used to give your hubby. He has now started his new medication, four large pills per day. He made me smile when he said they look like blooming big horse pills. I replied I hope you dont break out into a gallop then. My grandson is much better thank you and they have managed to get his feed back to near normal allthough he is still very sore round his feeding button. He told his dad, I hope granddad is soon better cause I'm missing my story time with him.

Well take care Jules and enjoy your day off with the lovely weather. Will chat again soon, Hugs, Brian.

P.S.  I have just heard a good friend and woodclub member has died of an aortic annerisuim. He will be sadly missed. I have known him for many years and was a really nice guy and a fantastic woodcarver who specialised in carving wild birds and then painting the carving.

Good afternoon Brian

Really sorry to learn that both you and Mrs B still having problems with the bug.  Do hope Kathy's hints and tips will prove useful and yes, chicken soup always a cupboard essential in my house (thickened with mashed potato) or my favourite being scrambled egg on soft muffin.  Hope recovery will be soon for you both. As I am trying my best to be 'good' made the most of lovely weather by lunching in the garden (Mum was on 'silent mode' this morningso shoo'd me away after 45mins) and am having jacket potato with tuna for dinner plus grilled tomatoes. Also bought some chicken skewers ready for tomorrow's treat.

Happily all paperwork now received so Mum's future care needs sorted and now have 'refund due' for her.  Letter with Care Home for them to arrange repayment. I've let her know the good new and was rewarded with a shrug of the shoulders but it has certainly given me peace of mind. I topped up her 'personal funds' so she can cover her weekly hairdo's and as it is her birthday next month, think I will treat her to some new clothes.

Hope your brother in law gets on okay with new medication (I ended up buying a pill cutter for hubby when he struggled with the 'bombs' he was taking) and hopefully the nutritious shakes will help too - if he asks his GP they can be got on prescription as they are quite pricey.  Mashed bananas/custard wer also a favourite for a while.

Do take care of yourself too Brian and I hope the jam doughnuts do you both some good.

Great news on your son and grand-daughter's awards and I know how proud they make you feel.

Well best stop rambling and get on.  Hugs  Jules x 

Hi Jules et al,

Sorry I've not been on the forum of late - a combination of things seem to have kept me offline! 

Safe to say, I often think about you all and hope to find time to catch up with your news and 'chat' soon! 

Brian, Sorry to hear you and Mrs B are not well.  Hopefully, this spring weather will be a turning point for us all. 

Much love to all on the thread, Jo xxx

Hi Jo

Good to see your post and hope you managing okay. If you are back at school no doubt you being kept busy (but hope you enjoyed the Easter break).  Think of you too but we all know that people drop in and out of the forum as their lives allow.  Saw your avatar namesakes when in Dorset (am sure they were as cute too) Sending hugs. Jules x

Hi Jules,

I'm so glad you had a lovely time with your daughter and grandchildren.  Little ones always have the ability to make us smile and seeing them and their innocence somehow brings hope for the future doesn't it? Lovely that you will also be going away with your son, girlfriend and westie too; your family sound like they are really looking after you.  Must also be difficult for them but I'm sure you gain strength from each other.

I think it's really good that your GP is having regular appointments with you to keep an eye on how you are doing.  It does help enormously to have somebody to talk to and as you say can help you understand things logically.  You did everything you possibly could for hubby and as difficult as the grieving process is, I hope it of comfort to you to know that.

My boys are doing great (hubby included) and I'm lucky to have a lovely family.  Thanks so much for your kind comments; I do think I've come a long way since back in 2013, it's just taken a long time to realise.

How are things with your Mum thesedays?

Hope this lovely sunshine continues, and that it lasts over your next trip.

Speak soon,  Hope x

Hi Brian,

Just wanted to wish you and Mrs B well; so many awful bugs about just now.  Take care.  Hope x

Morning Hope

Good to read that all well with you and the family and as we are all told, time is a great healer (though hard to fathom when we are on our own personal journies). Both of my children grieve differently (think thats the same for everyone dependent on character) and they had already had the holidays planned(though not booked) before we lost hubby and were  in agreement that I should be invited along (we have been away together when hubby alive so another 'first' as a widow).  No doubt this year will see many 'firsts' in my new journey though am trying to seeing them as a continuation of family memories. As you can imagine there are still some tear-jerking moments (am not an over emotional personal normally so this has been a learning curve in many ways (hubby was the emotional half of the partnership)).

Thank you for asking about Mum.  She has been allowed to stay at the home after a long battle with the council but thankfully all is now sorted and they are helping with her care costs.  Immense relief for me to know she is in safe environment (her mental issues are still very much to the fore and have to accept that her attitude to her life is that she 'hates being here' and most visits are 'me talking about family' and her making little or no comment.  I continue to go every week to visit.  The manager of the home retires on 1st May (over 25yrs there) so will be going to her party in the hope that Mum will come along too but will not know until the day as she is still very capable of making up her own mind and its a case of going with the flow.

We are being spoilt with the beautiful Spring sunshine.  I had lunch in the garden yesterday (sporting a slightly rosy complexion as proof! despite sunscreen) as it was my day off. It will certainly be a bonus if my next trip away is a dry one (but makes it all the harder to go back into work - atmosphere is no longer the same with so few staff and working on my own on the department is much harder now that I have no one to come home to either).  Still  no complaints really as I have been well supported on a personal level by my manager and I would not wish to make changes just now as feel I would not cope too well  (better the devil you know ha ha).

Still having problems sleeping well but probably need to retrain my body somehow as got so used to waking every couple of hours and most nights it still happens that way.  Mentioned it at last doc appointment and will do so again at the next one but not sure 'medication' is the answer as its more like a habit I need to break.

Look after yourself. All the very best to you and yours.  Hugs  Jules x 

Hi Jules, Jo and Hope,

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I think Mrs B is on the mend at last. Is begining to eat and drink again and am very relieved as being diabetic I was concerned she would have a really bad turn just like she used to have years ago. I can tell she is feeling better for she is now worrying about the washing and hoovering; a sure sign she is feeling a bit better. The donuts she asked me to go out and get yesterday seem to have done the trick.

Jules, sorry to hear mum was in her non-comunication mode yesterday. Glad to hear you have now got everything sorted with the SS and have even got the refund. Strange how if they are owed, it is needed immediatly but when they owe it back, the wheels take so long to react.

Take care everyone, best wishes to you all, Brian.

Hi Jules, Jo and Hope,

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I think Mrs B is on the mend at last. Is begining to eat and drink again and am very relieved as being diabetic I was concerned she would have a really bad turn just like she used to have years ago. I can tell she is feeling better for she is now worrying about the washing and hoovering; a sure sign she is feeling a bit better. The donuts she asked me to go out and get yesterday seem to have done the trick.

Jules, sorry to hear mum was in her non-comunication mode yesterday. Glad to hear you have now got everything sorted with the SS and have even got the refund. Strange how if they are owed, it is needed immediatly but when they owe it back, the wheels take so long to react.

Take care everyone, best wishes to you all, Brian.

Good morning Brian

Hope today sees both you andMrs B feeling better still.  Tell Mrs B to take it easy and not to rush back into the housework as we all know these nasty bugs take a while to fully recover from.

Visiting Mum is always a 'wait and see' affair and sadly I do not think her outlook on life is likely to change much.  At least I have the relief in knowing she is safely cared for and the staff always find the time to chat with me too when I am there. I continue to chat to her about our family life otherwise there would be little point in me being there and when she does have a 'good visit' face on, make the most of it. Bless her she will be 89 next month (her sister is 85 and back gardening following surgery for cancer just before last Christmas but they are totally different personalities) and spends the day sitting staring or sleeping in her favourite chair in the garden room whilst life moves on around her. The staff regularly try to have her join in with the daily activities/outings but she has her own mindset and is rarely persuaded though she is quick to remind them when its mealtimes!

Have enjoyed being able to get back into the garden (even lunched out there on my day off) and once again it is lovely here this morning (though a little chilly outside so breakfast was indoors!!).  Hoping it manages to stay dry for my short break which starts next Wednesday (seems strange to be having another holiday so quickly but then think it will do all the family good to relax together after the turmoil of the past months.  Strangley we have all said that its a little harder now that we are not so busy with arrangments/appointments etc but definitely, for me, trying to take it day to day still is the best way. Having little things to look forward to is helping and have even managed to get through half a new book in the past week so maybe my concentration levels are improving too ha ha. My friend from work has raised the possibility of another day trip in early May which will be nice and am so lucky to have family/friends close by. Also due to have hubby's sister coming for a visit next month so will host a family gathering so we can all catch up.

Right, best do some paperwork before going into work. Tomorrow will be kept busy entertaining Zack as my daughter has her hospital appointment (told this could be up to four hours depending on what tests they run) so will have my 'granny hat' on.

Regards to you and all the family. Jules x

Hi Jules,

Unfortunately both of us have gone back a step today. Think Mrs B tried to do too much yesterday. But she is still eating so thankful for that; my basic cooking cant be that bad?????. Coulndt go to see my grandson or the wood club last night. Both front and back lawns need mowing and I am getting frustrated at not bieng able to get and do things.

Hope you enjoy the visit tommorow by your grandson and hope daughters appiontment/ test go well. Going up and down stairs so much the past few days means I have lost a little weight so at least one bit of good news to report.

I do belive you are right about it getting a little harder a few months after losing a loved one. We have more time to absorb our loss once things have quietened down into a new kind of "normal" that will never be quite the same again. I know I felt the loss of my mother and my grandparents more after the passing of a few months. The things we used to do together hit home harder but until it happens to us, we dont realize this happens. Some people think we get over it in a matter of a few weeks but the reality is it takes as long as it takes be it months or even years. When you had been happily married for so many years like you were, It is going to take time and there are boung to be moments when quite reflection is in order. I think you have coped very very well, helped by your family and friends. But through out it all, you have still taken time to offer help and support to others on this great forum and I do believe this may have helped you in some way.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Hi Brian

It really is frustrating when we cannot manage to do normal jobs when those pesky bugs hit. Hoping today has seen an improvement for you both. With such lovely weather, to be missing out of going outside and 'managing' the garden must be sending  you straight to the cheese and nuts (if there are any left!). I know you will especially have missed the visit to see the grandchildren and your wood club (just as much as they will miss seeing you). It must have been quite a shock too to hear about the loss of one of your club mates. An aneurysm strikes so quickly(my Dad was one of the luckier ones as at aged 71 he survived a heart aneurysm - Mum's quick action - undergoing emergency surgery within an hour of reaching A&E and then follow up triple bypass (also when he found out he had high cholesterol!!!)). I am sure your thoughts are with him and his family during such a sad time.

My daughter had her appointment with the heart consultant this  morning and a very thorough echo-sound shows all is well with the blood flow through the system despite her 'extra chamber'. No abnormalities showed up and so now been referred for a 'tilt test' and 24hr fitting of heart monitor to 'double check'. Zack was happy enough having granny to play hide and seek with (eldest was picked up for school run) and had just gone down for his nap when my daughter came home.  We had a chat and then I left to go and get new battery for my watch (got up this mornining and wondered why it was 5.45 for so long.).

Fingers crossed that you and Mrs B are well for the promised dry weather over this weekend.  Take care  Jules x

Hi Jules,

After having Georges problem this morning, This afternoon my frustration boiled over. The grass on the front lawn was making rude signs at me so I went out and mowed both the front and back lawns. Mrs B is now hopefully on the mend at last and had spent the day downstairs with me. Think she has had more than enough of "my cooking" and it's been nice to have someone to talk to again. Trying to make sure she doesnt overdo things which is hard for if there is some thing need doing, she get icthy feet.

You must have been relieved your daughters test showed nothing wrong. Alway a relief when you get the results. Bet liitle zack enjoyed his time with you just as much as you enjoyed his company. Good job you didnt have to go to work today if your watch battery was flat.

Have had to cancel one of my cancer meetings for Saturday but cant be helped.

Anyway, hope you enjoy your usual Friday night out and have a great weekend. Sending kind thoughts your way, hugs, Brian and Mrs B.

Hi Brian

Happy to read that Mrs B was able to join you downstairs again and that with your 'frustrated mowing' done you may both be able to enjoy some relaxing time this weekend. You do so much for cancer locally but your own health has to take  priority this time and am sure your cooking will happily go on the 'back burner' once Mrs B fully back on her feet. A batch of cheesy somethings will be more than welcome I am sure. I have to say that I do far more 'quick cooking' these days and for the first time in ages bought a recipe book (a healthy options choice for 1 which saves 'adjusting amounts for single portions'.

I did go out last night and as usual enjoyed my social chit chat with my 'bingo buddy'.  She and her husband are in the throws of 'downsizing' to a bungalow (with fingers firmly crossed that sale/purchase can go smoothly). They are both mid 70's and a little stressed but have good family support and its always nice to catch up.  No luck at the bingo but you cannot buy friendship.

I was expecting a quiet weekend and then last night had a call from one of my friends and we are meeting up for lunch locally today. We have a small cafe/restaurant that has a sun-trap courtyard garden so with such a beautiful day this should be a pleasant place to be whilst we have food and a gossip.So washing is on and hopefully out before I go out and once lunch is over will do a mini shop (as away from midweek). Tomorrow may see a picnic in the park, if its not too breezy, with my daughter and the boys (son in law has the boys today whilst my daughter visits a friend of hers and stays overnight) so two footballs and much laughter no doubt as granny hones her 'summer skills' ha ha.  Now that Zack has fully found his legs no doubt we will all be kept on our toes.  The park has permanent goal posts so something to aim at.

Take care of yourselves and as always peaceful thoughts are sent your way. Jules x