Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Good afternoon Jules,

Glad you have recieved letters of apology and so they should for the extra stress they caused you at a most stressful time. Can well understand your feeling teary at the moment. You have coped amazing throughout and shoild feel proud of the way you have dealt with things and yet have still found time to help others on here as well.

GP and family are not impressed with the hospital regarding putting the old feeding button back. They must have struggled with it for when a new one is fitted, apparently the inner part expands when it gets wet. My grandson has been bleeding fron this infection and daughter in law says that allthough she knows from his reaction when cleaning or attacing feeding tube it must be painful, he has not moaned about it.

Took Mrs B to a garden centre today and I bought an oval picture frame made out of plaster. I will use this as a template for my wooden ones as I am no good at drawing ovals or any shape come to that. Hope your visit to your mother went well today. Take care Jules, best wishes to you and your family, Brian. 

Hello Jules,  Apologies for not being in touch for a while, I haven't been on the forum for a while.  My life seems to be busy which I guess is good.  I do hope you are OK and that you are still receiving lots of support from your lovely family and of course your forum buddies.  I hope the scattering of hubby's ashes goes as well as it can - it will no doubt be a very emotional time for you.  By coincidence I also chose my Dad's birthday as the day for his ashes, it seemed to be the right way and hope it will be for you too.  Take care my friend.  Hope x

Hi).Hope

Think its great that you are now able to move on and keep busy (your memories follow you wherever you are).  As you can imagine up and down days and very much an emotional wobble after making the arrangements for hubby's final resting place. Very lucky to have good work buddies who gave me a hug when I went to work today (think my eyes gave me away!!). Still drawing support from my special friends and virtual buddies.  Me and the children draw strength from each other and the little ones continue to  lift our spirits with their smiles (youngest one is currently 'teething for England' and so I am having him for a couple of nights so poor Mum, Dad and elder brother can catch up on some much needed sleep).  I have a five day break to Dorset soon (with daughter and family) and hope a period of total relaxation/family time will help us all to move forward again.  As you say having  his birthday for the little ceremony will be another emotional time but the day would have been difficult whatever we were doing - so many 'firsts' to get through but I am grateful for all the help and 42yrs of memories.

Hope your family are all keeping well and I suppose it will not be long before your younger boy will be taking exams and then hopefully off to Uni.  Where does the time go?  Look after yourself and sending hugs.Jules xx

Hi Brian

Your cheeky grandson should get a medal for all he has been through and still. despite recurrent problem. could teach us adults a thing or two on how to face up to adversity. Just reading about him makes me feel humble.  I really do hope they can  put things right for him (it would leave me spitting bricks!!) as he deserves the very best.

Any luck with your microphone recognition on the PC.  Its always the way when  you want to use something it lets you down (big grrr on your behalf).

Very understanding at work today (think my eyes gave me away as to how delicate I was feeling); hugs from staff on arrival and chat with my Manager helped no end and I got on with my very busy shift though  felt a bit 'heady' by time I came home.  Tomorrow  I have the grandchildrens' visit to enjoy, then sleepover with little Zack (hoping my daughter/husband and elder grandson can catch with a decent night' sleep).  Daughter has her appointment through for the heart hospital for around three weeks time. Handily its a Friday so I can go and 'sit' for her.  Eldest wil go to school and  I will stay at the flat until  she gets back (has been worned to allow 4hrs for check up/possible testing) to take care of Zack.  Its times like this when I am pleased I am part time and able to offer helping hand.

Mum was not to bad at my visit yesterday and had had her hair permed so looked quite bright (though always says she is no good bless her).  She has been having eye drops as they would not stop watering and these seem to have helped.  The manager of the home retires on the 1st May after over 25 years dedicated service and have been invited to her 'surprise do' - fingers crossed I will be able to make it as I have so much to thank her for during the 2+ years that Mum has been resident.

Hope the 'plastercast' oval frame helps with your woodturning - easier to have a template to base things on I am sure.  All the very best to you and Mrs B ~(she must love all the owls you are making but it might be hard for you to 'move them out' for your forthcoming shows). Take care  Jules x

Good Morning Jules,

Good news, my grandson was feeling better last night when I went to see him. As I got indoors he said, "Oh, it's you Brian, come and sit next to me for I'm waiting for my story". He told his dad off for calling me Brian. He said, "Thats your father and you should call him Dad". When he replied, "Yes and you should call him Granddad",  he just srugged his shoulders and said "Oh well". He told his dad, that he is the only one who can call me Brian. Cheecky little monkey.

It not good news about the brother in law I'm afraid. He saw the oncologist yesterdat and was told his PSA had gone up and the chemo hadnt worked. The cancer has spread and the last few days his back has been quite painful. They are going to put him on a new treatment which is very expensive. I suspect it may be arbiterone. He coped well with the news but poor sister in law was understanably very upset. Just make me feel so lucky and grateful to Mrs B for making me go to my GP and for the result I had with my prostate cancer.

Talking of Mrs B, when we went to our local chemist, I bought her an owl key ring. When you press a button on the back of the owl, it gives out a hooting sound and it's eyes light up. You should have seen her face. Just had to buy it for her. Makes a nice little torch as the light is quite bright. Also bought her a jam pot shaped like an owl. She tells me it's too good to use for this and it will end up spending it's life as an ornament. Spent another frustrating 4 hrs yesterday trying to get my headset microphone to work all to no avail. I just hate being beaten. It's probabaly something silly and I will end up kicking myself for not figuring it out sooner.

Its great you have a good support team at work as this must help a whole lot to have understanding people to work with. Lets hope the person who replaces the one in charge at your mothers care hime is as good as the last one, for this gives you peace of mind knowing she is well looked after. Hearing so many stories about lack of care and worse at care homes lateley in the news make me very angry.

Hope you get to go for your usual night out on Friday. Wishing you and your family a peaceful and stressfree weekend, Brian.

Hi Brian

So good to read that your cheeky grandson is improving and hope this continues. Will he have to go back for the new feeder button at some point?

How sad that your brother in law has not been so successful with his treatment and that his cancer has spread further . Do hope the new treatment plan can help and maybe different pain meds can give him some relief.  My heart goes out to him and his wife and I am sure Mrs B is upset and concerned in equal measure though I know she has your wonderful support. 

Sounds like  you will need to buy Mrs B her own 'shed' to display all the owls you are finding for her. It is lovely that the bits and pieces you find for her are well loved (even if not used for the purpose they were made for.)  I have re-adopted Cobweb in hubby's memory this year and have the new photo and certificate framed in the lounge.

Zack was fine overnight (only waking once before I went to bed) and strangely I slept well too!!  My daughter came round after the school/libary run and stayed for a little while before heading back home.  They were so grateful to get a night's sleep too.  He is back with me overnight Saturday and its nice to be in a position to help occasionally. The eldest starts school holidays from 2.30 today and we have our 5 day break week after next. I think it will be good for us all to get away for some 'fun' days though we do have an emotional Thursday beforehand. Still to be expected and its best to cope day to day and go with the emotions - still early days.

Am off out this evening though we are both taking the bus as my friend had a car come out of a side turning and hit hers, which has resulted in broken headlight so cannot drive at night until fixed.  Luckily no one hurt though I am sure she and her husband (both mid 70's) were a little shook up. Last thing they need is added stress at the moment as they are in the process of moving house.  Will see if there is any way  can help when I see her tonight.  Well hope you and MrsB have a good weekend.  Back to the household chores. chat again soon.  Regards Julesx

Hi Jules,

Hope you enjoyed your evening out and that you are now enjoying the company of Zack. Children do have this habbit of making us feel happy when they are around. Hope you both are soon recovered from your colds as they can make us feel miserable.

My son and daughter in law are able to renew the feeding button for my grandson but have been advised not to do it at the moment by the gp as the skin aroung it is so inflamed and bleeds every now and then. Hopefully the antibiotics which they have to administer through the button and the cream they apply round it will clear this infection up soon.

My son ordered some cedar arrow shafts from Canada as he couldnt get what he wanted over here. When they despacthed them they wrote the address as UNITED KINGDOM (FRANCE). They have been stuck over there for nearly three weeks before anyone found out what the problem was. So they are now re-making them and hopefully will get the right address this time after the boss told my son He didnt expect to have to teach his despacth staff geography. Needless to say my son is not amused.

We had a nice surprise today when brother and sister in law came to visit us. He has taken the bad news very well allthough both sister in law and Mrs B are finding it hard to deal with. They have to wait until he has had another full body scan before he is given the next round of treatment which they hope will be about three weeks time. Was so nice to see them and to have a good chat with them.

Nice that you have re-adopted the barn owl; they are beautiful creatures. Rather than Mrs B put her owls in a shed, I fear that will be my fate when she runs out of room Ha Ha. When I mentioned this to her she laughed but didnt deny it. She merley said, "Well at least you'll be closer to your timber that way". My grandson is not the only cheecky member of my family.

Hope little one does not keep you awake tonight. Take care Jule, sending best wishes and a big hug your way, Brian.

Hi Brian,
(Apologies for butting in Jules), just had to let you know made cheesy scones, treacle scones, bread and butter pudding, pavlova, cheese sticks, tattie scones and home made pizzas for the visitors.  Drool.....
Just had to have a stir,
Rgds to you and Mrs B
Kathy x

 

Hi Jules,
Well family left 48 hrs ago and well and truly back home and settled in again.  What an absolute wow of a time we had.  Mum is quite remarkable and so on the ball.  She does a lot of crosswords and as a retired teacher is quick to correct our grammer ( or grandpa).  She does a lot of mental arithmetic in her head and is quicker than us with pen and paper.
Latest on sis is another blood test on Monday.  Liver fibrous??  She has been following Sandra Cabots healthy liver diet while here and eating very healthily so we hope the results show an improvement.  She feels fine but with high bp, diabetes and cholesterol issues it is a concern.
Good to see you had a good nights rest when Zack slept over.  It is great to be able to help out isn't it. The littlies give us so much joy don't they.
 Thinking of going home in June to spend more time with mum.  Just a thought at present but even though she is sprightly who knows what the future holds.  Guess it depends on me finding a house/ pet sitter.
Planned on a quiet day yesterday but ended up having a few "drop in " visitors, but that's all good, not a drama, they take me as they find me.
Pets have gone off to bed without me....what's new?
Will be good for you and family to have a few days R & R, pack plenty of t bags.
Ok honey will sign of for now, sending you humongous hugs, precious lady
Kathy xx
 

Hi Brian

Lovely that you had surprise visitors and I am sure Mrs B, though understandbly worried, will have felt better for having seen her brother rather than just a chat on the phone and will have helped her sister in law to be able to talk with you both too.

Enjoyed my social evening on Friday (though no financial benefit this week ha ha). Had Zack from late afternoon yesterday to mid morning today and though he was up for a couple of hours, it was before I went to bed myself and he then slept in till 7a.m, (I had already been up and hour) .  My daughter and son in law were so grateful for a good nights rest (especially with the clocks going forward).

I am on a day off tomorrow (last holiday day from 2014 entitlement) so am using it to go for my blood test  early in the morning (12 hour fasting required so will aim for 8 a m clinic  and hope not to long to wait but will take book with me as its usually pretty busy even though they have four rooms on the go).

Today is the first Sunday in ages when I have not got out for a walk. Absolutely awful weatherwise - wet and very windy but hate being indoors all day (like a caged animal but with no one to moan at!!) even though I have a cold would prefer to get some exercise (doing the housework is not my idea of pleasure).

Hope  your son gets his new arrow shafts - I  know we are part of Europe but can imagine his frustration at finding out why they were delayed.  Hope he and your granddaughter did well at their last Archery outing. Also hope that your younger grandson's infection responds well to the antibiotics. 

Well best go a prepare my evening meal which I will have a little later than usual as will not be able to eat again until I get back from the 'vampires den' (though my take banana to eat when I come out). Hope you and Mrs B have a peaceful day.  Regards Jules x

Hi Brian

Lovely that you had surprise visitors and I am sure Mrs B, though understandbly worried, will have felt better for having seen her brother rather than just a chat on the phone and will have helped her sister in law to be able to talk with you both too.

Enjoyed my social evening on Friday (though no financial benefit this week ha ha). Had Zack from late afternoon yesterday to mid morning today and though he was up for a couple of hours, it was before I went to bed myself and he then slept in till 7a.m, (I had already been up and hour) .  My daughter and son in law were so grateful for a good nights rest (especially with the clocks going forward).

I am on a day off tomorrow (last holiday day from 2014 entitlement) so am using it to go for my blood test  early in the morning (12 hour fasting required so will aim for 8 a m clinic  and hope not to long to wait but will take book with me as its usually pretty busy even though they have four rooms on the go).

Today is the first Sunday in ages when I have not got out for a walk. Absolutely awful weatherwise - wet and very windy but hate being indoors all day (like a caged animal but with no one to moan at!!) even though I have a cold would prefer to get some exercise (doing the housework is not my idea of pleasure).

Hope  your son gets his new arrow shafts - I  know we are part of Europe but can imagine his frustration at finding out why they were delayed.  Hope he and your granddaughter did well at their last Archery outing. Also hope that your younger grandson's infection responds well to the antibiotics. 

Well best go a prepare my evening meal which I will have a little later than usual as will not be able to eat again until I get back from the 'vampires den' (though my take banana to eat when I come out). Hope you and Mrs B have a peaceful day.  Regards Jules x

Hi Jules,

Sorry you couldnt get out for your walk. We have had a rainey and blustery day today. The sun has come out now the day is nearly finnished but the wind has got really strong. I went and bought a new bedside alam clock/radio only to find when I got home it was totally diiferent to the one shownSo back to our local Argos and no one seems to know whats gone wrong. Ended up buying a totally differnt one. It has ten pre-sets on the radio but the instructions are not that well written so still struggling. Grandchildren could probably do it just like that.

Both my son and granddaughter won gold medals and a trophy each so very proud of them both. Grandsaon is still improving  and is now being fed every two hours instead of every hour. So much work for his parents. Even when he is well it's 24/7 care but he re-pays it with the laughter he brings to so many peoples lives, including mine.

Hope your visit to Draculars Den goes well and results are good. Wehave a couple of ringed dove visit our garden but we also have a large familiy of magpies always around. 

Take care, best wishe to you and your family, Brian.

Hi Brian

Think internet signal being a pain as just lost long post to you grrrrr.

Glad that your grandson is improving and it must be rewarding for all the family when he comes smiling through. Such a lot for everyone to deal with.  Congrats to your son/grand-daughter on their winning ways - the trophy/medal cabinet is doing well - who knows future British champions.

Got my blood test done early (out by 8.10) and hopped on bus/tube to shopping centre and treated myself to a very large cappuchino (?sp) as had fasted since 7pm last night. Now back home with a large box of tissues and throat soothers (always end up with croaky voice and this time  no different!) Hoping that by Wednesday, when I am next into work, I will be able to talk to customers otherwise it will be a bit embarrassing.  I may have to put off visit to Mum tomorrow as would not want to spread the germs around. 

Hope you and Mrs B having a peaceful day. Take care Jules x

Hi dearest Jules,
Hope you are muddling along ok.
I want to state how wonderful you are but you will tell me you are not, so we will skip that bit.  One day you will mistype Brian and call him Brain and we will never hear the end of that !  
Have you tried cider vinegar and honey in hot water? Hot toddy? Baileys? Vicks?
Great to see you plan on getting away for a few days maybe take a scarf / hat as well as the wellies ?  I am such a mother ..., You will have such a great time.  Good on you.
Coping ok without the family, but so appreciate their visit.  My neighbours are very good.  I am very fortunate indeed. I think when you have lived in the same area for a while (30 years) and neighbours have remained the same we all look out for each other.
So funny this time last week I was rigged up in Trakkie daks, jumper and scarf, now it  is 27 in dining room, no need for a /c, all good.
Ok honey lamb,
Will sign off for now
Take care
Kathy x 

Hi Kathy

Seems strange being indoors on a Tuesday but could not risk infecting the Care Home/Mum so rang to explain with a very husky voice.  All being well will go down on Easter Sunday instead.

Your opening sentence made me smile - muddling is just how it feels and you're right, I am not wonderful, just doing what you gotta do!!. Like yourself have lived in the same road forever (38yrs May when we bought the house!!) and have good neighbourhood watch scheme (headed by my nextdoor neighbour).

Last night was extremely gusty (still is but ideal for the washing on the line - very firmly pegged I can tell you- and another lot doing).  Chased my dustbin lid down the road so have had my exercise outside lol but its still lovely and sunny and so far none of the blustery showers that were forecast (perhaps I should not say that as would like to finish getting washing dry!!).

Daughter had the result of her repeat blood tests and all good so just has appointment at Heart hospital  late April to be fully checked out (genetic extra heart chamber causes her to pass out occasionally and last episode was a bit more serious so they are being thorough thankfully).

Any news from your sister's appointment on Monday?Do hope it was encouraging for her and the family.

Well a busy weekend ahead (entertaining and being entertained/babysitting and then hols) but need to get through the emotion of Thursday first so concentrating on a day at a time. Our son will pick me up from work en route to the crematorium (son in law also offered but they have dentist first in the morning and would take them out of their way whereas son and other half will more or less drive nearby anyway). It means I will not arrive alone and we can all support each other as is the norm of course.  I suppose it will be another stage reached in a necessary journey - not the way I had envisaged spending hubby's next birthday but good for the family to have somewhere to focus our memories when we visit in the future. Our eldest grandson(6yrs) is very interested (so many questions  so we are hoping this will help him understand a bit more) though not all easy to answer.  We have always been open and honest and bless him he has already lost a step great grand-dad in his short life. He and my daughter are doing the race for life the week before Father's Day  which will be more poignant than previous years that my daughter and I have done it .

Hope you doing okay and thanks for your continued support - chatting helps. Take care lovely lady.Jules x

Hi Jules,
The thought of you chasing the dustbin lid made me smile.... Thank you.
No word as yet re sisters blood test Monday.  I reckon we will need to wait for a few weeks.  Ho hum.   Mums bp is really good though  122/68.
Had a cuppa with next door neighbour whose mum is 92 and lives in England.  
Good news re your daughters results.  I guess stress/worry won't help her.
Oh my precious angel, I will be thinking of you on Thurs.  this is a tough road we follow, but at the end of the day our men are free from pain/ discomfort/ lack of independence and for that, in a crazy way we have to be thankful for.  Tears flowing now.  

Great that your grandsons questions are answered honestly.  I do also when littilies ask me questions but have to admit I do pause and take a deep breath before I launch into explanation as you can't just say grandpa was sick otherwise they will be terrified if anyone else is sick and hubby wasn't old only 56 so can't say he was old.
When is Father's Day over there? Here it is Sept.
Now I will bellyache.... But may give you a laugh.  I don't want much TV but was last night  did and was really annoyed when I saw blooming Moto gp was on.  Since the Aussie guy retired it hasn't been advertised much. Bull ......  More riders than an Aussie who we called raindrops as he kept falling off! !!!!
My fave Valentino Rossi won yay.  He is an old fart at 38..., how do you and I feel???
Don't answer that one.
Have put an extension cord through dining room to keep connected so hopefully won't trip and break anything tonight.  Hubby was Mr Occupational health and safety even when off duty.  We have to smile as we remember.
Will sign off for now,
Take care honey,
Kathy xx

 

Good afternoon Jules,

Sorry to read you wernt able to go to see your mother. Do hope you are soon feeling better. I got woken up at about 4.30 this morning by a noise. Couldnt think what it was so went back to sleep. When Mrs B got up, she saw our television ariel at the back of the house was hanging down so that was the noise I heard. I have had trouble geting it down as it's hanging by the cable. After using my stepladder that converts to a small ladder, evetually got the ariel down but the briken pole is still hanging by the cable, will have to think how to get this down. I was literally hanging on to it and it was budgung at all as when it was put up they nailed the cable to the wooden facia. Luckily we use an ariel that I set up in our loft so Mrs B can still watch he telly.

Have a visual picture of you chasing the dustbin lid. Reminds me of when I was turning a large wooden barometer surround which came off my lath, hit the floor on its edge and took off out of my garage across the road like a dose of salts with me in hot persuit. Took me ages to catch up and was out of breath when I did. Good job ours is just a side road and no cars were about. Often wondered if any neighbours saw what happened. Bet it gave them a chuckle saying, Look there goes that mad woodworn again.

I will, like Kathy be thinking of you on Thursday. So pleased you will have your lovely family there to support you and each other. Glad to hear daughters results were okay.

Take care, Keep warm, a windswept Brain, Sorry Kathy, I meant Brian.

Brian, u r such a plonker, but I do adore u,

Best wishes to u and Mrs b, am still smiling, thank u

Kathy xx

Hi Jules,  Hope all goes well tomorrow, I know it will be an emotional day for you in so many ways and I will be thinking of you.  Sorry to read you have been poorly ontop of an already stressful week, there are so many bugs about just now, hope you are on the mend by now.  I know your family will all take strength from each other tomorrow and I hope that you have a peaceful break with them all over Easter.  Enjoy the caravan park, I will keep my fingers crossed that you don't need those wellies!  Hope x

Hi Hope,

We havent spoke for some while. Hope Jules doesnt mind me using her site to say hello. Hope you are enjoying the Easter break  and are keeping well. Hope things are more settled in your life now that the houes situation has been dealt with. Cant belive we are a quarter of the way through the year already, how time flys.

Take care, and remember just because we dont chat, doesnt mean you are forgotten, Brian

Hi Kathy,

I am a happy chappy; Mrs B has just baked me some CHEESE BISCUITS, and they taste absolutely georgouse. As promised, attached is a photo of them. Have I got you drooling yet???????????

Just the smell has been making me feel so hungrey!!!  Will have to get Mrs B to try and mix some nuts in with the mix next time then I can have the best of both.

Take care, best wishes, your nutty friend, Brian