Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi all

Having visited Mum this morning (she was reasonably bright and had her hair permed) returned home and have had an emotionally wobby afternoon.  Have made the arangements for the formal scattering of hubby's ashes in the woodland garden of remembrance and have chosen his birthday 2 April  as this seemed a good day for me and the children/grandchildren to be together (was going to be emotional in any event). Another step in my journey.

Peaceful thoughts to you all. Jules xx

Good afternoon Jules,

Glad you have recieved letters of apology and so they should for the extra stress they caused you at a most stressful time. Can well understand your feeling teary at the moment. You have coped amazing throughout and shoild feel proud of the way you have dealt with things and yet have still found time to help others on here as well.

GP and family are not impressed with the hospital regarding putting the old feeding button back. They must have struggled with it for when a new one is fitted, apparently the inner part expands when it gets wet. My grandson has been bleeding fron this infection and daughter in law says that allthough she knows from his reaction when cleaning or attacing feeding tube it must be painful, he has not moaned about it.

Took Mrs B to a garden centre today and I bought an oval picture frame made out of plaster. I will use this as a template for my wooden ones as I am no good at drawing ovals or any shape come to that. Hope your visit to your mother went well today. Take care Jules, best wishes to you and your family, Brian. 

Hello Jules,  Apologies for not being in touch for a while, I haven't been on the forum for a while.  My life seems to be busy which I guess is good.  I do hope you are OK and that you are still receiving lots of support from your lovely family and of course your forum buddies.  I hope the scattering of hubby's ashes goes as well as it can - it will no doubt be a very emotional time for you.  By coincidence I also chose my Dad's birthday as the day for his ashes, it seemed to be the right way and hope it will be for you too.  Take care my friend.  Hope x

Hi).Hope

Think its great that you are now able to move on and keep busy (your memories follow you wherever you are).  As you can imagine up and down days and very much an emotional wobble after making the arrangements for hubby's final resting place. Very lucky to have good work buddies who gave me a hug when I went to work today (think my eyes gave me away!!). Still drawing support from my special friends and virtual buddies.  Me and the children draw strength from each other and the little ones continue to  lift our spirits with their smiles (youngest one is currently 'teething for England' and so I am having him for a couple of nights so poor Mum, Dad and elder brother can catch up on some much needed sleep).  I have a five day break to Dorset soon (with daughter and family) and hope a period of total relaxation/family time will help us all to move forward again.  As you say having  his birthday for the little ceremony will be another emotional time but the day would have been difficult whatever we were doing - so many 'firsts' to get through but I am grateful for all the help and 42yrs of memories.

Hope your family are all keeping well and I suppose it will not be long before your younger boy will be taking exams and then hopefully off to Uni.  Where does the time go?  Look after yourself and sending hugs.Jules xx

Hi Brian

Your cheeky grandson should get a medal for all he has been through and still. despite recurrent problem. could teach us adults a thing or two on how to face up to adversity. Just reading about him makes me feel humble.  I really do hope they can  put things right for him (it would leave me spitting bricks!!) as he deserves the very best.

Any luck with your microphone recognition on the PC.  Its always the way when  you want to use something it lets you down (big grrr on your behalf).

Very understanding at work today (think my eyes gave me away as to how delicate I was feeling); hugs from staff on arrival and chat with my Manager helped no end and I got on with my very busy shift though  felt a bit 'heady' by time I came home.  Tomorrow  I have the grandchildrens' visit to enjoy, then sleepover with little Zack (hoping my daughter/husband and elder grandson can catch with a decent night' sleep).  Daughter has her appointment through for the heart hospital for around three weeks time. Handily its a Friday so I can go and 'sit' for her.  Eldest wil go to school and  I will stay at the flat until  she gets back (has been worned to allow 4hrs for check up/possible testing) to take care of Zack.  Its times like this when I am pleased I am part time and able to offer helping hand.

Mum was not to bad at my visit yesterday and had had her hair permed so looked quite bright (though always says she is no good bless her).  She has been having eye drops as they would not stop watering and these seem to have helped.  The manager of the home retires on the 1st May after over 25 years dedicated service and have been invited to her 'surprise do' - fingers crossed I will be able to make it as I have so much to thank her for during the 2+ years that Mum has been resident.

Hope the 'plastercast' oval frame helps with your woodturning - easier to have a template to base things on I am sure.  All the very best to you and Mrs B ~(she must love all the owls you are making but it might be hard for you to 'move them out' for your forthcoming shows). Take care  Jules x

Good Morning Jules,

Good news, my grandson was feeling better last night when I went to see him. As I got indoors he said, "Oh, it's you Brian, come and sit next to me for I'm waiting for my story". He told his dad off for calling me Brian. He said, "Thats your father and you should call him Dad". When he replied, "Yes and you should call him Granddad",  he just srugged his shoulders and said "Oh well". He told his dad, that he is the only one who can call me Brian. Cheecky little monkey.

It not good news about the brother in law I'm afraid. He saw the oncologist yesterdat and was told his PSA had gone up and the chemo hadnt worked. The cancer has spread and the last few days his back has been quite painful. They are going to put him on a new treatment which is very expensive. I suspect it may be arbiterone. He coped well with the news but poor sister in law was understanably very upset. Just make me feel so lucky and grateful to Mrs B for making me go to my GP and for the result I had with my prostate cancer.

Talking of Mrs B, when we went to our local chemist, I bought her an owl key ring. When you press a button on the back of the owl, it gives out a hooting sound and it's eyes light up. You should have seen her face. Just had to buy it for her. Makes a nice little torch as the light is quite bright. Also bought her a jam pot shaped like an owl. She tells me it's too good to use for this and it will end up spending it's life as an ornament. Spent another frustrating 4 hrs yesterday trying to get my headset microphone to work all to no avail. I just hate being beaten. It's probabaly something silly and I will end up kicking myself for not figuring it out sooner.

Its great you have a good support team at work as this must help a whole lot to have understanding people to work with. Lets hope the person who replaces the one in charge at your mothers care hime is as good as the last one, for this gives you peace of mind knowing she is well looked after. Hearing so many stories about lack of care and worse at care homes lateley in the news make me very angry.

Hope you get to go for your usual night out on Friday. Wishing you and your family a peaceful and stressfree weekend, Brian.

Hi Brian

So good to read that your cheeky grandson is improving and hope this continues. Will he have to go back for the new feeder button at some point?

How sad that your brother in law has not been so successful with his treatment and that his cancer has spread further . Do hope the new treatment plan can help and maybe different pain meds can give him some relief.  My heart goes out to him and his wife and I am sure Mrs B is upset and concerned in equal measure though I know she has your wonderful support. 

Sounds like  you will need to buy Mrs B her own 'shed' to display all the owls you are finding for her. It is lovely that the bits and pieces you find for her are well loved (even if not used for the purpose they were made for.)  I have re-adopted Cobweb in hubby's memory this year and have the new photo and certificate framed in the lounge.

Zack was fine overnight (only waking once before I went to bed) and strangely I slept well too!!  My daughter came round after the school/libary run and stayed for a little while before heading back home.  They were so grateful to get a night's sleep too.  He is back with me overnight Saturday and its nice to be in a position to help occasionally. The eldest starts school holidays from 2.30 today and we have our 5 day break week after next. I think it will be good for us all to get away for some 'fun' days though we do have an emotional Thursday beforehand. Still to be expected and its best to cope day to day and go with the emotions - still early days.

Am off out this evening though we are both taking the bus as my friend had a car come out of a side turning and hit hers, which has resulted in broken headlight so cannot drive at night until fixed.  Luckily no one hurt though I am sure she and her husband (both mid 70's) were a little shook up. Last thing they need is added stress at the moment as they are in the process of moving house.  Will see if there is any way  can help when I see her tonight.  Well hope you and MrsB have a good weekend.  Back to the household chores. chat again soon.  Regards Julesx

Hi Jules,

Hope you enjoyed your evening out and that you are now enjoying the company of Zack. Children do have this habbit of making us feel happy when they are around. Hope you both are soon recovered from your colds as they can make us feel miserable.

My son and daughter in law are able to renew the feeding button for my grandson but have been advised not to do it at the moment by the gp as the skin aroung it is so inflamed and bleeds every now and then. Hopefully the antibiotics which they have to administer through the button and the cream they apply round it will clear this infection up soon.

My son ordered some cedar arrow shafts from Canada as he couldnt get what he wanted over here. When they despacthed them they wrote the address as UNITED KINGDOM (FRANCE). They have been stuck over there for nearly three weeks before anyone found out what the problem was. So they are now re-making them and hopefully will get the right address this time after the boss told my son He didnt expect to have to teach his despacth staff geography. Needless to say my son is not amused.

We had a nice surprise today when brother and sister in law came to visit us. He has taken the bad news very well allthough both sister in law and Mrs B are finding it hard to deal with. They have to wait until he has had another full body scan before he is given the next round of treatment which they hope will be about three weeks time. Was so nice to see them and to have a good chat with them.

Nice that you have re-adopted the barn owl; they are beautiful creatures. Rather than Mrs B put her owls in a shed, I fear that will be my fate when she runs out of room Ha Ha. When I mentioned this to her she laughed but didnt deny it. She merley said, "Well at least you'll be closer to your timber that way". My grandson is not the only cheecky member of my family.

Hope little one does not keep you awake tonight. Take care Jule, sending best wishes and a big hug your way, Brian.

Hi Brian,
(Apologies for butting in Jules), just had to let you know made cheesy scones, treacle scones, bread and butter pudding, pavlova, cheese sticks, tattie scones and home made pizzas for the visitors.  Drool.....
Just had to have a stir,
Rgds to you and Mrs B
Kathy x

 

Hi Jules,
Well family left 48 hrs ago and well and truly back home and settled in again.  What an absolute wow of a time we had.  Mum is quite remarkable and so on the ball.  She does a lot of crosswords and as a retired teacher is quick to correct our grammer ( or grandpa).  She does a lot of mental arithmetic in her head and is quicker than us with pen and paper.
Latest on sis is another blood test on Monday.  Liver fibrous??  She has been following Sandra Cabots healthy liver diet while here and eating very healthily so we hope the results show an improvement.  She feels fine but with high bp, diabetes and cholesterol issues it is a concern.
Good to see you had a good nights rest when Zack slept over.  It is great to be able to help out isn't it. The littlies give us so much joy don't they.
 Thinking of going home in June to spend more time with mum.  Just a thought at present but even though she is sprightly who knows what the future holds.  Guess it depends on me finding a house/ pet sitter.
Planned on a quiet day yesterday but ended up having a few "drop in " visitors, but that's all good, not a drama, they take me as they find me.
Pets have gone off to bed without me....what's new?
Will be good for you and family to have a few days R & R, pack plenty of t bags.
Ok honey will sign of for now, sending you humongous hugs, precious lady
Kathy xx
 

Hi Jules,
Well family left 48 hrs ago and well and truly back home and settled in again.  What an absolute wow of a time we had.  Mum is quite remarkable and so on the ball.  She does a lot of crosswords and as a retired teacher is quick to correct our grammer ( or grandpa).  She does a lot of mental arithmetic in her head and is quicker than us with pen and paper.
Latest on sis is another blood test on Monday.  Liver fibrous??  She has been following Sandra Cabots healthy liver diet while here and eating very healthily so we hope the results show an improvement.  She feels fine but with high bp, diabetes and cholesterol issues it is a concern.
Good to see you had a good nights rest when Zack slept over.  It is great to be able to help out isn't it. The littlies give us so much joy don't they.
 Thinking of going home in June to spend more time with mum.  Just a thought at present but even though she is sprightly who knows what the future holds.  Guess it depends on me finding a house/ pet sitter.
Planned on a quiet day yesterday but ended up having a few "drop in " visitors, but that's all good, not a drama, they take me as they find me.
Pets have gone off to bed without me....what's new?
Will be good for you and family to have a few days R & R, pack plenty of t bags.
Ok honey will sign of for now, sending you humongous hugs, precious lady
Kathy xx
 

Hi Kathy

Good to see you pop up on my thread and hope you keeping well.  Sounds like you had a blast/great wedding too, whilst the family were over and no doubt will take you a few days to 'get back to normal'whatever that is.  Hope your sis gets better news at her appointment Monday as it sounds as though she has been doing her best to follow a good diet.  I can relate to that as have been trying to get back to 'healthy' eating as have cholesterol blood test tomorrow (should have gone last October but GP gave me breathing space with so much going on with hubby at the time).  Thanks for the mention of all those lovely sounding baking achievements (never worry about butting in) as I am trying to up fruit and veggies and leave 'naughties' in the shops (my thoughts that if I dont buy them I can't eat them ha ha). Have already told family not to do the Easter Egg thing this year (of course I have still bought for them!).

Emotions running high this week again, as Thursday would have been hubby's 64th birthday and we have arranged the formal scattering of his ashes. Its hard to believe that nearly three months have gone by.  We go away on Easter Monday - no t-bags as we are coffee drinkers ha ha but although we are staying on a caravan park (this will be the first time I have ever been in one!!) so that we have all the amenities for the grandchildren, we will not self cater as they have restaurants on site and good local eateries nearby (daughter and family have been before so know their way around the area).  Looks as though wellies will be required but  it still has time to change!!

Had Zack for his second sleepover last night and not too bad considering the clocks went forward. Very blustery (with heavy squalls) just now but not too bad temperature wise. Have  not been out today; had Zack till late morning and then weather did not entice me out (am in the throws of my first cold for ages (is this liked to my healthy diet!!!)) but hate being indoors all day so maybe if it clears later I can go for a quick stroll (it would be very fast with the wind we have at the moment.  Two collared doves are hanging on to my bird feeding station but are struggling for balance.  The blue ***/coldfinches coping a bit better.

They are making the most of crushed nuts and mealworms.

Am feeling a bit lazy as I watch the madness that is the triathlon taking part in New Zealand!

I expect the pets are finding it strange now that your family have left (or maybe grateful for their space back ha ha).   No pets to look after when I go away so just let the neighbours know so they can take my dustbin in (I will leave it out as rubbish collected the day after we go away).  Am very lucky to have good neighbours in our street.

Well best stop chatting and get on with preparing tonight's meal(a bit more than usual to keep me going until after my blood test tomorrow.  Take care my friend.  Chat again soon.  Jules x