Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi Brian

Your grandson is a marvel and as with lots of kiddies has 'an old head on young shoulders' and a wonderful sense of humour - definitely following in grandad's footsteps I reckon. I do so wish him all the very best for Friday as he really deserves a break.  Thanks for cheering me up no end.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for your reply and kind wishes. I ent to se my grandson last night before going to the woodclub. He told me he is reading The Hobbit Book and has got up to page 85. My son told me he has alrready told the hospital he is taking the book in with hin in case he gets time to read any more.

With regard to the ad on Facebook I was pleased to be able to help. This site has helped so many so anything that brings more members has to be a good thing. I managed to mow the front lawn but the back one is still to wet as yet. Enjoyed the meeting last night as it was about a local group that go aroung repairing all the styles on the local footpaths. On Saturday I have another cancer meeting so still keeping busy.

Have also been to my local nut shop and have stocked up. Made the staff laugh as I told them I was concerned when I found the old shop closed. But found out they were just moving round the corner. So while writting this I am feasting on some cashew nuts.

Hope you have  a good few days off now and that you have a good night out tommorow night. Take care, best wishes, Brian

Hi Jules,

Just a quick update on my grandson. He went in very early this morning and his op went okay and he is now home, playing on his ex-box. He had the camera down the throat and they were able to zap the infection with a laser so do hope he will feel more comfortable shortlu and that he wont keep feeling sick all the time. 

Attached is a photo of him taken by my son this morning.

Thanks again for your kind thoughts and words, Brian.

Great news Brian and think he did a good 'nose job' too. Such a brave lad and probably be running around at school soon!! Full of bouncebackability for sure.

Lovely day here so have managed to do a couple of hours in the garden (clearing deadwood from my shrubs) and will have to prepare containers soon as son picking up large bags of compost so I can plant up the dahlia tubers. Have some wildflower seedmix to sprinkle around but need to prepare the ground first and still rather heavy! May take myself off to the garden centre early tomorrow (get discount for oaps if shop  before 11.30) as need some fine netting to protect containers from digging cats once newly planted.

Been a bit of a mixed day as regards emotions as have begun to clear out books hubby used to read. Bagged up and ready to drop into charity shop (he loved sci fi and I am not a fan!!). Am half way through a thriller but only managing a few pages at a time before mind wanders (not always sure where its going) - hoping once the weather is kind enough to let me sit outside will get concentration back.  Have also recieved formal letter of apology from the Registrar's Dept so suppose not surprising feel a bit 'rocky'.

Will be going out this evening and hope that will blow some 'happy vibes' in my direction.  Hope you and MrsB have a peaceful weekend.  Off to put the kettle on and plan dinner. Take care.Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for the reply. I can understand how clearing out hubbys books effected you emotionally. I felt terrible when clearing my mother things. Several time I had tears in my eyes when I found things she had kept. Can also understand you not being able to contrate on your book. It's still early days .

My grandson is pretty near back to normal and will get the dressings looked at on Tuesday. Just had a good laugh with my next door neighbour. The postman was delivering a cardboard box for her but as she is not able to get to the door quickly, I told him I would take it for her. When I took it round for her she was puzzelled as she hadnt sent for anything. I saw she was struggling to open it so I opened it up for her. Inside was yet another box which she could not get out. Even I had trouble it was such a tight fit. When she eventually opened up the second box she said "Good lord, it's my spare boob". I am still laughing now She had a breast removed because of cancer many years ago and her daughter had ordered a new one for her and she had forgotten about it. I told her maybe she had won a booby prize!!!!!!!

Any way hope this make you smile like it has me. Take care, hugs, Brian.. 

Hi Brian

Well your post did make me smile and thank you for sharing the tale about your neighbour's special delivery - she must be quite a character.

I am sure your grandson will have his cheeky side ready for when he has his dressings checked and do hope that this op will help him with the problems he had been experiencing - being young will no doubt help the healing process and he has an amazing outlook.  No doubt you will hear all about soon.

Had hoped for a nice day but its drab and drizzly here so instead of heading into the garden (had planned on planting up containers in the front garden), I will go the the shops early and if the forecast is correct and it dries up later, then I will head outside.

Saw Mum on Sunday and she is planning to have hair hair done today and I was informed 'no  need to visit again  as nothing to say!! - bless her. Even at my age I am still doing what I am told.

Later in the week will babysit for my daughter as they have parents evening and on Friday my daughter has to return for more blood tests so will go with her to 'hold Zack'. As she has to fast beforehand will no doubt go for 'pick-me-up' afterwards.  On Saturday I am going for a day out with a friend (coach trip to Canterbury (neither of us drive!!)) so  am being kept busy.

Hope you and MrsB are keeping okay and that the 'owl family' is 'turning' out well. Speak soon.  Jules x

Hi Jules,
You are keeping busy and that is good.  Had a good time at the wedding last Friday and having a great time with the family.  I laugh so much tears are running down my face.
We had the grandkids sleep over last night and I was so greatful for 3 extra pairs of hands ( first time both of them were here together).  Another sleepover planned for next Tues.  The family leave the following Friday.
Extra gardening being accomplished.   Babysitting is such a joy isn't it?  It certainly makes me laugh.  Mum and the sisters are doing well, mum is so mentally quick and with it.
On Friday we are off to Adelaide museum.  Hubby took her there on a previous visit and mum would like to revisit it.  We are gallivanting again on Sunday, so mum has plenty of energy and enthusiasm.  She does have a nap during the day, but at 88 that's to be expected.  Sis awaiting Email From doc re results and we know how worrying that can be.  In the meantime we are having lots of laughs.
Did you get out into the garden today?
Anyway must head off to bed now.
Love and best wishes,
Kathy x
 

Hi Kathy

So pleased to see your post here and that you enjoyed the wedding and that the time  you are spending with Mum and sis is giving you plenty to laugh about. There is a thread on the forum called Laughter is the best Medicine and I have to agree.  Your Mum is amazing at 88 and its great that you are able to be out and about whilst they are with you and probably good that your sister has you all to help keep her mind from wandering too much for the upcoming doctors' call/appointments.

I am supposed to be eating healthy as have to have re-test for cholesterol level next month but am not finding it easy shelving the comfort food for the 'good stuff' ha ha. The day usually starts well but the evening it goes to pot - need to find some willpower!

Beautiful here today and so yes once I got in from work I  planted up four large containers  in the front garden so mission accomplished for the time being.  Have miniature tulips in flower and also the quince and forsythia are both breaking bud - so good to have some colour back in the garden.

Well, off to make a cuppa and put my feet up for a while as no doubt will be kept on my toes (hide and seek a current favourite) with the grandchildren when I babysit after I finish work tomorrow -mind you the toddler is still crawling quicker than he can walk and being a cheeky little devil (learnt from his older brother!!).

Enjoy the rest of your time whilst your family is with you and look forward to chatting again soon. Sending hugs  Jules xxx

Hi Jules,

Hope you have enjoyed your trip to Canterbury. Havent been there for years. Hope it's warmer there than it is here today. Decided not to venture out into the garage as it's quite a chilly wind here. Hope you enjoyed your time with Zack, my how quick they grow up. My youngest grandson had a few problems as he kept being sick. Think he picked up a bug but at last he is feeling better Dou to your word, bouncebackability. When I saw him on Tuesday he was feeling very sorry for homself which is not like him at all but when I went back on Wednesday he was a lot better but kept lifting my arm up over him so he could snuggle up closer.

Have now managed to mow the back lawn at last. Over the past few days I have had three meetings to do with cancer. Tried to order some more woodturning sundries from two differnt suplyiers today but one is on holiday and the other had sold out of the goods I wanted. So in frustration I have opened up my new pack of peanuts. I always say out of something bad, some good happens. Brianitus reigns again Jules.

Hope you were able to go out last night and that you had an enjoyable evening. Take care and I wish you a peaceful and enjoyable day tommorow, hugs, Brian.

Good morning Brian

Your poor little grandson has been through the mill bless him but glad to read he appears to be improving now and will no doubt be back to his cheeky self soon. Its always good to be able to snuggle up to Grandad for a bit of tlc.

I had a lovely day in Canterbury and luckily it remained dry once we arrived though like you it was very chilly so wrapped up well! We went by coach and it was quite a lengthy trip as quite a few pick ups but plenty of time for a chat so no problem. On arrival we went straight to the Catherdral (just beautiful and as you would expect very peaceful).  Some lovely individual shops as well as loves buildings to look at and we  enjoyed leisurely lunch.  If it had been warmer we would have done a river trip so may be something to consider if we go again sometime.  We are now planning to search this year's brochure for our next day out!

No farmers'market today so will have to do with the supermarket and then, like you, hoping to mow back lawn (again!) and get starting with the weeding in the back garden having finished the front for now. Have beautiful quince and forsythia blossom out now and its so good to see the sun - just need the temperature to go with it but apparently its going to get colder again before it warms up, heyho.

My daughter and family are taking the boys to local crazy golf today. This is as a reward for their eldest's school report last week which was very good.

Iam off into the kitchen to prepare two huge punnets of Kent strawberries - Market was closing up as we were leaving and they cost just 50p each and are so sweet (definitely will be gone soon!!). Glad to hear Brianitus is ever present and hope you and Mrs B have a lovely day. Take care. Jules x

Good morning Brian

Your poor little grandson has been through the mill bless him but glad to read he appears to be improving now and will no doubt be back to his cheeky self soon. Its always good to be able to snuggle up to Grandad for a bit of tlc.

I had a lovely day in Canterbury and luckily it remained dry once we arrived though like you it was very chilly so wrapped up well! We went by coach and it was quite a lengthy trip as quite a few pick ups but plenty of time for a chat so no problem. On arrival we went straight to the Catherdral (just beautiful and as you would expect very peaceful).  Some lovely individual shops as well as loves buildings to look at and we  enjoyed leisurely lunch.  If it had been warmer we would have done a river trip so may be something to consider if we go again sometime.  We are now planning to search this year's brochure for our next day out!

No farmers'market today so will have to do with the supermarket and then, like you, hoping to mow back lawn (again!) and get starting with the weeding in the back garden having finished the front for now. Have beautiful quince and forsythia blossom out now and its so good to see the sun - just need the temperature to go with it but apparently its going to get colder again before it warms up, heyho.

My daughter and family are taking the boys to local crazy golf today. This is as a reward for their eldest's school report last week which was very good.

Iam off into the kitchen to prepare two huge punnets of Kent strawberries - Market was closing up as we were leaving and they cost just 50p each and are so sweet (definitely will be gone soon!!). Glad to hear Brianitus is ever present and hope you and Mrs B have a lovely day. Take care. Jules x

Just thought I would jump in to your conversation for a minute to say GMorning to you both. I am glad you enjoyed going to Canterbury = its a lovely place, Jules isn't it. What a bargain those strawberries!! Blimey Brian = done the lawn already - you are ahead of me and I must get on with it. Thank you = both of you = for all your support - as my brother says "mum is now upstairs - nagging my dad"

Have a lovely day

Steve

Hi Steve

Lovely to have you drop in and do hope you and the family are doing okay. Your Mum  maybe ' upstairs and nagging Dad' but just think you are 'downstairs' and still using Mum's memories to keep you moving forward.

I do obviously struggle at times with hubby's loss and its especially hard as a Mum to see our kids grieving (and yes they keep trying to protect me as I protect them always) but I have to draw strength from within to take my journey forward (albeit with small steps) as I am truly lucky to have their support and a small posse of wonderful friends both real and virtual keeping me company along the way.

Just getting refreshment going before doing a second mowing (just back from 3 mile walk so need a sit down first) and have stocked up on fruit/veggies for a 'planned' healthy eating week - time to give some of my 'comfort' food the heave ho as facing blood tests for cholesterol in a about three weeks and would be cross if its gone back up.

Hope you having a peaceful weekend.  Take care of each other  Jules x

Canterbury was a wonderful place and I had never been before.  Will be sure to return again but would like it to be on a sunny day!

Good afternoon Jules,

So glad you enjoyed your day out but wish it had been warmer for you. When I was young (Long time ago ha ha) my grandparents used to go to Canterbury once a year as one of their friends used to be based in the army barracks there and used to go there every year for a reunion. we had a long coach trip there too. Afterwards we used to have a look round the town. Some years ago, when I was working for a company making anything in oak, I had to quote for making an oak door for one of the oldest properties in Cnterbury shopping area. It was very expensive as the house being oak framed was far from level and the door had to be made completely out of square and had to look old as well. We didnt get the job in the end, just as well for we were very busy at the time. 

My son and granddaughter are at their archery clubs indoor championships today so hoping to hear good results later today. Have just give one of my wood club friends some timber as I will never ever use all that I have as most of my new turnings only use smallish pieces of wood. I need to spend a day out in my garage just to sort my timber out. I have two large piles and most of the best bits are as usual down near the bottom. Will also have to give them all a dusting as they are covered in sawdust. I can garantee Mrs B will not come out there thay day for the will be too many displaced spiders looking for new homes for her liking. She absolutrly hates them.

Your mention of the forsythea, we used to have a lovely big bush in our back garden but it got a fungal infection and died. Photo attached. Hope you enjoyed your strawberries, what a good price and Kent produce as well. Having problems with my computer; it will not recognise my microphone so strories have come to a standstill. Have spent about six hours so fer trying to sort the problem out and suspect its a software problem. Grrrrr

Hope you enjoy what is left of the afternoon. Take care best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Goodmorning Brian

Certainly lots of wood used in the historical properties in Cantebury and full of character.  Sadly though as in so many towns these days many lay idle. Had never visited there for pleasure before.  The only time (reminded once I returned by old friend of my hubby) I was there before had been after a car racing incident when hubby had to have broken toe attended to at Canterbury hospital!

Hope when your son and grand-daughter finished their archery competitions there was good news and that they enjoyed it too.

As a family we have now received several letters of apology over the administrative errors during hubby's death registration.  Lessons appeared to have been learned as new training outlines/procedures at both the GP surgery and Registrars' Dept have been introduced and I really hope it will save any other family going through the emotional trauma it caused.  Everything seems to take such a time to finalise but we are now at leasing moving forward a bit more. Awaiting to hear from the crematorium as to when we can inter hubby beneath his parents' memorial rose and this will give us all another area of closure.

Spent yesterday afternoon in the garden (with a fewbreaks to rest the back!) and so it is mowed again and one side of borders has been weeded.  Our neighbours on one side do not weed and with a 'open wire' fence its an ongoing battle to keep their brambles from encroaching (especially important as the grandchildren enjoying 'digging' in the 'bare soil' I leave for them). Next job, when rest is weeded, will be to get the garden furniture 'spring cleaned' - ever hopeful of the warmer weather ahead (not too soon by looks of the forecast!).  Only two weeks to Easter and our break away to Dorset so it would be nice if the temperature could lift a bit though I am sure we will find plenty to do inside if needs be. Your forsythia bush looked lovely and such a shame that it became diseased.  Mine is also in a corner, by the garage, and I am training it across the rear wall - it provides a lovely splash of colour at this time of year and often  becomes the home of nesting birds so keeping my eyes open.  The goldfinches have returned and some days have up to 10 on the feeder (niger seed on demand). Mr and Mrs Blackbird are carrying moss/twigs into the honeysuckle so hopeful they are 'moving in' again.

Well, had best wash up before going to work. Kind regards to you and the family.  Jules xx 

GMorning Jules = welll, glad your garden is starting to look good after the winter. I also did the garden yesterday - raked lots of moss out of the lawn and started a new little border for cottage garden flowers. I fell to buying some plants from our pound shop = so can't wait to put them in!! Debating on veggie = maybe just some salads this year. All my sweetpea seeds have been dug up and eaten by the birds!! So, back to square one there.

Sorry to hear how officialdom made things stressful for you at a time of loss and grieving. How stupid they are - and isn't it about time they stopped 'learning' = and just got on with their role professionally? My heart goes out to you !!!

Steve

Well here goes.  For some reason my 'internet signal' keeps dropping out and have just lost last effort to post grrr.

As regards the professionals well to err is human so they say and hopefully despite the trouble/heartache it caused at the most difficult of times(failure to tick a box began the downward spiral!!) (emotionally draining for those involved), the help since has been second to none and hopefully the new 'double checking' procedures mean no other family faces what we went through.  Over two months on gaining some closure helps of course. Still take the view that forgiveness is easier than dwelling on what occurred and no doubt hubby would have found it right that it 'made him late' as he was  not a good timekeeper.

Am shortly going out and have my grandchildren for tea on Thursday with the younger one sleeping over to give my daughter and son in law a break overnight (he has been having bad nights for a few weeks now due to teething and they are pretty shattered) so need to stock up with kiddie food.

Hope you and Anne are keeping well. Jules

Hi all

Having visited Mum this morning (she was reasonably bright and had her hair permed) returned home and have had an emotionally wobby afternoon.  Have made the arangements for the formal scattering of hubby's ashes in the woodland garden of remembrance and have chosen his birthday 2 April  as this seemed a good day for me and the children/grandchildren to be together (was going to be emotional in any event). Another step in my journey.

Peaceful thoughts to you all. Jules xx

Good afternoon Jules,

Glad you have recieved letters of apology and so they should for the extra stress they caused you at a most stressful time. Can well understand your feeling teary at the moment. You have coped amazing throughout and shoild feel proud of the way you have dealt with things and yet have still found time to help others on here as well.

GP and family are not impressed with the hospital regarding putting the old feeding button back. They must have struggled with it for when a new one is fitted, apparently the inner part expands when it gets wet. My grandson has been bleeding fron this infection and daughter in law says that allthough she knows from his reaction when cleaning or attacing feeding tube it must be painful, he has not moaned about it.

Took Mrs B to a garden centre today and I bought an oval picture frame made out of plaster. I will use this as a template for my wooden ones as I am no good at drawing ovals or any shape come to that. Hope your visit to your mother went well today. Take care Jules, best wishes to you and your family, Brian. 

Hello Jules,  Apologies for not being in touch for a while, I haven't been on the forum for a while.  My life seems to be busy which I guess is good.  I do hope you are OK and that you are still receiving lots of support from your lovely family and of course your forum buddies.  I hope the scattering of hubby's ashes goes as well as it can - it will no doubt be a very emotional time for you.  By coincidence I also chose my Dad's birthday as the day for his ashes, it seemed to be the right way and hope it will be for you too.  Take care my friend.  Hope x

Hi).Hope

Think its great that you are now able to move on and keep busy (your memories follow you wherever you are).  As you can imagine up and down days and very much an emotional wobble after making the arrangements for hubby's final resting place. Very lucky to have good work buddies who gave me a hug when I went to work today (think my eyes gave me away!!). Still drawing support from my special friends and virtual buddies.  Me and the children draw strength from each other and the little ones continue to  lift our spirits with their smiles (youngest one is currently 'teething for England' and so I am having him for a couple of nights so poor Mum, Dad and elder brother can catch up on some much needed sleep).  I have a five day break to Dorset soon (with daughter and family) and hope a period of total relaxation/family time will help us all to move forward again.  As you say having  his birthday for the little ceremony will be another emotional time but the day would have been difficult whatever we were doing - so many 'firsts' to get through but I am grateful for all the help and 42yrs of memories.

Hope your family are all keeping well and I suppose it will not be long before your younger boy will be taking exams and then hopefully off to Uni.  Where does the time go?  Look after yourself and sending hugs.Jules xx