Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Morning Max

Had a good walk (around three hours) and passed through the Farmers' Market, chatting to the regulars but managed to behave and only buy fruit and veg (cheeses/cakes were calling to me but I  need to get back to looking after my cholesterol levels and weight) and have just enjoyed a smoothie for breakfast!

Our sons are the same age (mine turned thirty 21st Feb and chose to go horseriding for the first time so his girlfriend booked a long weekend in the New Forest and he fulfilled his wish) and lovely that you enjoyed lunch out (just a shame that he could not face food ha ha- boys will be boys, even when they are men!!)

If you read my post to Brian  you will see that I am on tenterhooks awaiting a call from my son in law as to how my daughter is.  Though normally after one of these episodes she is home within 8hrs it often leaves her tired and understandably with two youngsters may need company/help over the next few days  so some of my plans may need to be put on hold.

Take care forum buddy, speak soon and sending virtual hugs  Jules x

Oh Jules,

Just to say I hope your daughter is okay and the hospital has been able to find out what was wrong. It must be very worrying for you and also for your family. Mrs B suffers from raoid heart beats which used ti make her pass out but the medication she is on has helped keep her stable for several years. But every now and then, she has to take another tablet when her heart starts racing. I would like to think it's because of me, but sadly it's not. It usually happens when she has overdone things or has let her self get worked up. It one of her many problems and the reason why I retired when I di so as I could keep an eye on her.

Take care and hope your daughter is soon back home, Brian.

Evening Brian

Thankfully daughter was back home mid morning. It looks as though it was one of her 'fainting' episodes but ECG was thankfully all clear and she was sent home to sleep and rest as her blood results a bit erratic and as usual blood pressure low. Needs to be kept an eye on and as there is no way she can rest with a todder and energetic six year old (son in law home today but does not have any holiday left and does not get paid), I am 'reporting for duty' about 7.am tomorrow and will stay until son in law gets home from work. She has lovely friends who will do the school run with the eldest and I can make sure she rests whilst I get plenty of exercise keeping up with little Zack. Fingers crossed with a well earned rest she will improve quickly (it usually takes a few days) and at least with me being on holiday this week I can help out(a few things to cancel but will work something out - her health more important though I will keep my own check up with GP on Thursday (can pop in afterwards if she needs me).

Well definitely going to put my feet up this evening and hope you and Mrs B relaxing too.  Take care Jules x

Hi Jules,

Hope your daughter is feeling better now.

At last, yesterday I managed to clen the car (long overdue) and put the new front floor matts in as the old ones were way beyond their sell by date. Have collected Mrs B's and our neighbours prescriptions this morning. Our chemist is a really nice guy. There is something called Liquifruita with garlic that our neighbour likes and he hasnt been able to get for some while. However he told me this morning he has sourced it again so I took a chance and got her a bottle. She was so pleased.

My grandson has his pre-op on Friday. So many cold and stuff about at his schopl at the moment so hoping he doesnt pick anything up having waited so long. He told my son to phone me the other evening as he hadnt spoken to me for a while and he wanted to tell me and his grandmother to get better quick, bless him. Looks like the weather is going to warm up so may be able to get out into the garage to get some woodturning done. I have now got four craft fairs booked for this year (Six days) so must get my new items underway.

Take care Jules, have a restful week, Brian.

Well, second attempt to post - lost the last one for some reason and taken an age to get back on site so here goes.

Firstly just wanted to wish your grandson (and family) all the very best for tomorrow.  He is such a brave little lad he deserves the best possible outcome from his forthcoming surgery.

With the temperature rising I hope you will soon be enjoying woodwork again and letting us see your new ideas/creations as they take shape.  The wood club is very lucky to have such a hands on member and after all your hard work enlisting discounts at various companies bet they will all be queueing up to take advantage and the public at large can reap the purcharsing rewards at the 'fairs' planned. Good luck with it all. With an improvement in the weather and temperatures I am hoping to get in the garden and get first mow under my belt by the weekend (bit frosty here just now).

My daughter is improving thank you for asking.  Spent 12hrs at their place on Tuesday but yesterday she managed to do the school run and spent time catching up socially with a couple of very supportive friends (mums with children at same school). She now just has to wait  for appointment with local hospital heart specialist as a follow up (should have happened already and was told to chase it up!!).

I spent a pleasant couple of hours yesterday afternoon with old friends from hubby's racing days (70/80's) - he was co-driver and owner of car they raced (750cc club) and gave me a lovely framed photo of them both with their pride and joy - not the 'then girlfriend - me, who apparently took the picture, - very touched and good to remember happy days.  She has had MS since aged 18 and they are a devoted couple with him as her principal carer for many years now - both amazing in how they cope - very humbling.

Well, off for my monthly check up with GP in around an hour - still being kept an eye on but am sure there are more worthy patients that should be using my slot so hoping this may be the last pre-booked appointment.

Sending you and Mrs B peaceful wishes for today and always. Jules

Hi Jules,
Am so pleased daughter is doing better, but what a bonus it is that you
are able to help out.
I visited in laws tdy as their car is off the road and MIL had medical appt so was happy to assist. Only stayed for 2 hrs not t lhe normal amount as had tradesmen coming here plus son and joy of joys grandson.
We had 2 hrs together which was magic.  Picked some cherry tomatoes which he washed and dried and left here...?
Don't think I will be able to accomplish all I wanted to prior to family visit, but the house is clean not designer beautiful, bit like me...basic and down to earth. Garden looking good, see my priorities....  Our family are pretty good.  All we need are the basics and each other.  I think this will def be last visit as the trip must be shocking for mum and siblings are getting older.
Thank you for tip re olive oil on hands at night.  My problem is lacerations not just dry skin.  Note to self wear blooming gloves.  
Sis still waiting for test results but from her emails appears her mobility is improved.
Just trying to work out how to use timer lamps in prep for being away over wedding period.  Will have managed it by this time next week.
Take care honey
Kathyxx
 

Hi Kathy

Its lovely when you get the chance to spend some quality time with family (even short periods lift the day and leave you realising how lucky you are to have them close).  As to getting your home 'ready for visitors' they will only have eyes for you, you know that!! We do not live in show houses, we live surrounded by things that we can enjoy and that brings us comfort by having it there (that's why it's so hard moving things out sometimes). I cannot believe some of the stuff I am finding as I begin at the top (I have a loft conversion bedroom!!) - things I have not used or worn for so long I cannot remember even when I bought them!!

Of course you will work out the timers - cannot help here as never had them ha ha but then I have neighbourhood watch (head honcho lives next door).

Visit to the docs for my 'widow ok check' went fine until she reminded me that I needed to get the cholesterol checked as its long overdue (why would I mention it!!!!).  Comfort eating must now become healthy so that when I go for blood tests in around a month (she kindly gave me until after my holiday at Easter) I am hoping it will be okay (am digging out quick and easy recipe book for inspiration but cooking is not on my likes list - roll on summer when I can revert to salads).

Now this is going to sound really weird but as regards 'lacerations' as long as they are infection free (of course they are) you just explain that they are 'happy workers' hands.  I hate wearing gloves in the garden (always weed without them and then regret it when I look at my nails!!) but will taken the precaution of wearing them when I prune the 'pricklies'.  Also have some nerve damage currently in one of my fingers which GP says could take up to 6 months to repair itself (another gardening injury!).

Well thats enough rambling from me.  Take care and don't whack yourself out with housework. Sending 'healing' hugs.  Jules x

Hi Kathy

Its lovely when you get the chance to spend some quality time with family (even short periods lift the day and leave you realising how lucky you are to have them close).  As to getting your home 'ready for visitors' they will only have eyes for you, you know that!! We do not live in show houses, we live surrounded by things that we can enjoy and that brings us comfort by having it there (that's why it's so hard moving things out sometimes). I cannot believe some of the stuff I am finding as I begin at the top (I have a loft conversion bedroom!!) - things I have not used or worn for so long I cannot remember even when I bought them!!

Of course you will work out the timers - cannot help here as never had them ha ha but then I have neighbourhood watch (head honcho lives next door).

Visit to the docs for my 'widow ok check' went fine until she reminded me that I needed to get the cholesterol checked as its long overdue (why would I mention it!!!!).  Comfort eating must now become healthy so that when I go for blood tests in around a month (she kindly gave me until after my holiday at Easter) I am hoping it will be okay (am digging out quick and easy recipe book for inspiration but cooking is not on my likes list - roll on summer when I can revert to salads).

Now this is going to sound really weird but as regards 'lacerations' as long as they are infection free (of course they are) you just explain that they are 'happy workers' hands.  I hate wearing gloves in the garden (always weed without them and then regret it when I look at my nails!!) but will taken the precaution of wearing them when I prune the 'pricklies'.  Also have some nerve damage currently in one of my fingers which GP says could take up to 6 months to repair itself (another gardening injury!).

Well thats enough rambling from me.  Take care and don't whack yourself out with housework. Sending 'healing' hugs.  Jules x

Hi Jules,
Your healing hugs much appreciated. 1.5 days to go.  Rooms ready and only a little shop required on Sunday.
This am we have hens party at a funhouse normally frequented by young kids, Dodgems ,water slides , putt putt etc.
Thanks to your example I have started donating some of hubby's clothing to local charities, little by little and the rest will wait till family have gone.
Have just heard sis cleared to travel and have list of healthy food requirements requested.  Other sis will join her on healthy choices so no crisps or cheesy things.  Guess if they are going to be good I can join them and show my support.  
Didn't tell the kids there was a chance she couldn't come or may have to return earlier than planned for specialist appt.  
Forecast for mid 20's for first week of their visit then see a few low 30's on the chart, but will have the air con if wanted.
Must go and get ready to gallivant and meet up with beautiful DIL and friends.  I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.  I am truly blessed.
Much love Kathyxx
 

Hi there Jules, and everyone

I thought I would stick my head out of my clouds briefly to say a quick hello and check on how you are doing.  I have had a look through some of these posts over the last month or so and I am so pleased for you that your Mum can stay where she is, what a load off your mind that must be.  I am sorry that I have been absent and so wasn't able to wish you the best for your end of journey service.  That must have been so difficult for the whole family but as always you help eachother through.

I did hit an all time low hence my last post and things are still very much a challenge but I will do as you demand and not give up the fight.  I have my first face to face assessment with a counsellor on Thursday next week which I trully hope will be the first step in helping me get back to some kind of normality but even now that really does seem a very long way off.

Every time I check my emails I always hope to see one from this site to say that the P.M. is back but sadly that still isn't the case. 

Anyway I will leave by giving you and everyone here my very best and I will try not to stay away quite so long next time.

Lots of love,

Garf. xx

Hi there Jules, and everyone

I thought I would stick my head out of my clouds briefly to say a quick hello and check on how you are doing.  I have had a look through some of these posts over the last month or so and I am so pleased for you that your Mum can stay where she is, what a load off your mind that must be.  I am sorry that I have been absent and so wasn't able to wish you the best for your end of journey service.  That must have been so difficult for the whole family but as always you help eachother through.

I did hit an all time low hence my last post and things are still very much a challenge but I will do as you demand and not give up the fight.  I have my first face to face assessment with a counsellor on Thursday next week which I trully hope will be the first step in helping me get back to some kind of normality but even now that really does seem a very long way off.

Every time I check my emails I always hope to see one from this site to say that the P.M. is back but sadly that still isn't the case. 

Anyway I will leave by giving you and everyone here my very best and I will try not to stay away quite so long next time.

Lots of love,

Garf. xx

Great to hear from  you Garf and to know that you are having professional help  with your demons.  Believe me I do understand how hard this must be for you and your other half (23 years in a home with a Mum with depression gives me a clearer window I suppose).  Have courage and take guidance and I really hope there will be a huge light at the end of the tunnel.

Hope Hannah is being helped with her health issues and that they got to the bottom of the problem.  I am sure you are worrying for 'England' (Mum does!) and wish the PM facility was enabled but they are having to set it up from scratch (Max has a petition thread which is keeping everyone informed as the Moderators respond to our moans and groans).

Am adjusting slowly to life as one rather than two and mutual support with children and grandchildren does help a lot.  Am enjoying the better weather as can get into the garden and am rebuilding my wildlife corner now that have new back wall up. Body aches but for all the right reasons, I think.

Back to work (again) on Monday following two weeks holiday (had to be used up or lost!) and to be honest have rather enjoyed the last few days but that could be due to sunshine.  Next weekend will be new F1 season (and Mothering Sunday - spent with both children as am being treated to tea and cakes) and will be strange watching it without hubby so perhaps just as well son enjoys it too!

Right am off to sort my dinner so will say all the very best to you and send peaceful hug.Jules x 

  Hi Jules.You are one great Lass always good to read your post`s I cut my grass for the first time today and then fed it .Fed all my rose`s and shrubs some are comming to flower now the chameila`s look great .Regards for now take care .george x

Bless you George for your sweet words.  Think the weather has sent everyone out into the fresh air and good to see new life blossoming from old wood. Hope you and your daughter are holding up and send you good wishes for a peaceful week ahead.  Take care.Jules