Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Hi Steven

Back fence is now a six foot high, eight foot wide wall so much more secure though local cats not amused!!

Hope your return to work was not too stressful but am sure it will be good to be back amongst the workmates who will understand your need to grieve but also be able to offer than bit of extra back up if you feel understandably a little more vulnerable than usual. (I certainly needed someone to look to when faced with difficulties in the early days of my return and will probably feel a bit nervous again after I return from two weeks leave - emotions are a little bewildering at times when you do not expect it). Yesterday was a fine example for me.  When Mum's new social worker rang to let us know the Council have at last agreed to fund my Mum in  her present care home (and refund some of her savings) I was a bit of a blubbering baby (just showed me how I had been stressing over it and the enormous relief for both my Mum and our family in general). Sending best wishes to you and Anne. Jules x

Hi Jules

I was so pleased to hear your Mum can stay where she is and I am sure a lot of that is down to you and all the effort you have put in on her behalf.

I do hope you are keeping well and looking after yourself.

Best wishes.

Gill

Morning Brian

Glad to say the weather has cheered up today following the downpours of yesterday (very wet walk to the charity shop!!). Cold and frosty start but the garden looks pretty and birds are lined up waiting for breakfast !

Yes, a great relief for all concerned with my Mum's care and though I of course did my bit (a few well chosen words here and there and lots of form filling) I really must give huge credit to the care staff who all did their bit and ultimately to Mum's new social worker who was positive from the moment he was appointed (thank goodness I had some sense in asking for 'fresh eyes' the second time round).  The big regret of course is that hubby is not here to share the moment as he spent much time 'worrying for my sanity' at times.  Maybe he is quietly smiling down upon us all as we take our journey forward.

Hope you and Mrs B continue to feel better (the fruit sounded a really good cheer up option and whetted my appetite so am off to the shops again later - am thinking smoothie for lunch - really need to take myself in hand and lose the 'comfort eating' weight I gained in the last few months). I suppose the real answer is to stop buying the 'naughty foods' then cannot be tempted - easier said than done though during this cold weather ha ha. Have a good day. Jules x

Morning Gill

Not keeping bad - usual aches and pains that the cold weather brings but nothing worth complaining about.

Keeping busy in mind and body seems to be helping though do find concentration for long periods a bit of an issue as the mind wanders.  Know its a normal road through the grieving process and am so well supported am really very lucky. Think its a good thing that I have never minded my own company (comes from being an only child and spending a lot of time alone during our marriage as hubby worked away from home quite regularly). Building a new way of life will take time to adjust to but it can and must be done.

Look after yourself and sounds as though worklife is keeping you well and truly busy (dont let it tire you out). Wishing you a peaceful weekend.  Jules x

Good morning Gill,

Pleased to hear you are busy work wise. Thanks for asking about my yougest grandson. He has had a bad stomach infection for some while and he now has to go into hospital for an operation in March 13th. When asked by his mother how he felt about it by his mother, he replied that he was looking forward to it. his astoshed mother asked why and he told her it was because he knows it will make him better. Allthough he is still the happy cheeky little lad, I think this shows it has been troubling him more than he has let on to anyone. Have lots of new story ideas and about five underway, but have not had time to do any more with them as I have been busy with my woodclub activities and with my cancer charities.

Take care and dont work too hard, best wishes, Brian.

k xx

Hope this gets to u Jules

Hi Jules, bit of an issue copying and pasting to you.  Thank u advice re wedding out fit.  Mother is quite conservative. But I dont want to overheat  on the day and maybe at my age now should say sorry mum but I am a big girl now and I consider my choice appropriate. 

Good to see your mums issues have been resolved, good on you girl.  Feel proud. This time in 8 days and 2 hours the Scottish family will be here but who is counting.... Yup me.

Hope my pic made it through but if not Jo and Max look out.

Glad your wall is up and as your spring is coming our autumn is starting...so envious of your spring bulbs showing now....

Take care, let's hopethis gets posted ok or I will get really miffed.

Kathy xxx

Good morning Jules,

It's a rather wet start to the day here; that fine rain that penetrates. Hope you went out last night and had an enjoyable evening and even maybe a win on the bingo. Feeling right back to normal this morning as I sit here with Brianitus in full swing munching on some salted peanuts. Have had a very busy week and have greatly extended the number of companies prepared to give our club members discount. We now have about fourty places so have made up a small booklet and will print these out for members and charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing ect.

I hope you have a peaceful weekend and that you enjoy your time off from work next week.

Take careJules, sending kind thoughts your way, Brian.

Hi Kathy

Am assuming you tried to 'copy' a picture over but a no show I am afraid (I have little joy when I try either and its only if I have  my daugher around that she figures it out (all to do with size of pixels apparently!!!) As you can probably see your written post is fine and I am sure your outfit will be just great for you  and it is you who needs to be happy with it (hark at me I sound like your mother now ha ha).  Just remember to remind your Mum/Sisters/ family from Scotland that they will not require wooly bloomers when they arrive to visit - no one needs fainting guests .  I can feel your excitement brewing and I am delighted for you all that you have this happy event ahead of you. Have a wonderful weekend.

Have been dropping bags into local charity shops today (and forcing  myself to leave with empty bags rather than refilling them!!)  Local recycling service is likely to be overworked for a few weeks as my Spring Clean is under way and am concentrating on the inside as when the weather improves a little I will be in the garden with my feet up and a book (just does not feel the same doing it indoors.).

Hope you and all your family both sides of the world are managing to keep calm and well.  Best wishes to you all Jules xx

Hi Brian

Well I did go out last night (such a routine is hard to break though once my friends move out of the area it will be something else to look into!!) but had no 'winner's luck'.  Still good to catch up and take part (you have to be in it to win it).  Today did my three mile stroll to the high street and back and tomorrow the Farmers' Market is on so, although I do not actually need to buy anything still hope to go out and stretch my legs as it does me no good to be indoors all day.  If its dry I may well walk further on and enjoy the walk round  Ruilsip Lido but will have to see what tomorrow brings.

Glad Brianitus is alive and well and with all your hardwork both for Wood Club and Cancer Charities I would say your nutty treats are a good reward.  Peaceful thoughts to you and Mrs B.  Jules x

Hi Brian

Well I did go out last night (such a routine is hard to break though once my friends move out of the area it will be something else to look into!!) but had no 'winner's luck'.  Still good to catch up and take part (you have to be in it to win it).  Today did my three mile stroll to the high street and back and tomorrow the Farmers' Market is on so, although I do not actually need to buy anything still hope to go out and stretch my legs as it does me no good to be indoors all day.  If its dry I may well walk further on and enjoy the walk round  Ruilsip Lido but will have to see what tomorrow brings.

Glad Brianitus is alive and well and with all your hardwork both for Wood Club and Cancer Charities I would say your nutty treats are a good reward.  Peaceful thoughts to you and Mrs B.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Just a brief post to say I'm reading your thread and keeping up with your news, but for various reasons, haven't been replying.  Hoping to rectify this soon! :)  Enjoy your walk to the market - sun shining here in Yorkshire :) 

Love and hugs, Jo xx

Hi Jo

Thanks for dropping by and hope you  have managed some relaxation durimg the half term.  Of course that seems a long while ago now. Take care of yourself and though we now have some cloud have just finished sorting a bag of more for the charity shop and as they will be open at 10 am signing off and heading out. Sending peaceful thoughts and virtual hugs Jules x

Hi Jules,

I hope you enjoyed your walk today and got to walk round the lido. Dont worry if you bought something naughty, you fully desrve a treat after all you have gone through recently. Be careful though, you might end up with Julesitus ha ha,

Since my last post to you, I have made contact with two married couples I met while having radiotherapy where both guys had prostate cancer. I spoke to one of the guys on the phone and found the cancer had come back but in his bowel. He has been told they have sucessfully treated it. The other guy is like me doing well and it was just nice to catch up through an e-mail to his wife. Both people reminded me of the laughs we had while waiting for treatment. I was transfered to another waiting room for three days and they wound me up by saying I had been sent to the naughty boys room. Another laugh we had was I was given a blue patient's record book where all my treatment was recorded. These other two guys were offered them but turned them down. One of them asked me what was put in them so I told them and just happened to mention the nurse who did the radiotherapy review every couple of weeks had put her works phone number in there in case I had any problems. One of the wife said, "So that why you accepted the book so you could get all the nurses numbers in there. Whats it worth not to tell you wife about this"?????

I had my leg pulled about this for weeks and one of the nurses even joined in. One of the receptionists actually poped his head round the door one day for he thought we were having a party we were laughing so much. I must admit I played my part or even maybe more if I'm honest. They were a great bunch of people I met there and so were the nurses and I will always remember the time I spent waiting for treatment. as happy times, as weird as that may sound.

Hope you enjoy your second weeks holiday. Have you got much planed? Am making a small booklet with all the names of companies giving our club members discount and have only got to print them out now.

Take care, best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian.

Hi Jules .... Hope you got to the farmers market and bought some yummy things!  It's been dry in my part of the world but really windy today (the weather that is haha).  Our son was 30 today so he and his wife have been home for the weekend and we had a lovely lunch out. Sadly he was too hungover from a late night out with friends to get stuck in to the food - but he will hopefully learn his lesson one day! I have a pile of ironing waiting for me in the morning - yippee (not) - so plan to sleep soon. Have a good week my friend x

Morning Brian

Must have been good to catch up with the couples you met during your treatment and to see how you have all progressed. Nothing like a good laugh to keep you going.

I enjoyed my walk (well wrapped up against the wind) and was out around 3hrs so think I got my exercise for the day.  Was then going to get into the garden and do a bit of tidying but found myself doing more sorting out instead (has to be done ) and before I knew it daylight was fading.

As to plans for my second week's leave I had it all planned with catch up appointments (three in total) plus usual trip to see Mum and an afternoon with old friend of hubby's from his motor racing days (750 cc Club). However I am now awaiting a call from my son in law as my daughter was taken into hospital in the early hours of this morning (she has a heart condition that can cause her to pass out and struggle with her breathing but has been managing it well in the last couple of years). Apparently this time she appeared to fit so they are doing various tests(ECG was ok) and though she is feeling much better still experiencing dizzyness so in the best place. She is usually home within 8hrs so its a wait and see time at present.

Hope Mrs B is feeling a lot better and that you both have a relaxing day ahead. Jules x

Morning Max

Had a good walk (around three hours) and passed through the Farmers' Market, chatting to the regulars but managed to behave and only buy fruit and veg (cheeses/cakes were calling to me but I  need to get back to looking after my cholesterol levels and weight) and have just enjoyed a smoothie for breakfast!

Our sons are the same age (mine turned thirty 21st Feb and chose to go horseriding for the first time so his girlfriend booked a long weekend in the New Forest and he fulfilled his wish) and lovely that you enjoyed lunch out (just a shame that he could not face food ha ha- boys will be boys, even when they are men!!)

If you read my post to Brian  you will see that I am on tenterhooks awaiting a call from my son in law as to how my daughter is.  Though normally after one of these episodes she is home within 8hrs it often leaves her tired and understandably with two youngsters may need company/help over the next few days  so some of my plans may need to be put on hold.

Take care forum buddy, speak soon and sending virtual hugs  Jules x

Oh Jules,

Just to say I hope your daughter is okay and the hospital has been able to find out what was wrong. It must be very worrying for you and also for your family. Mrs B suffers from raoid heart beats which used ti make her pass out but the medication she is on has helped keep her stable for several years. But every now and then, she has to take another tablet when her heart starts racing. I would like to think it's because of me, but sadly it's not. It usually happens when she has overdone things or has let her self get worked up. It one of her many problems and the reason why I retired when I di so as I could keep an eye on her.

Take care and hope your daughter is soon back home, Brian.

Evening Brian

Thankfully daughter was back home mid morning. It looks as though it was one of her 'fainting' episodes but ECG was thankfully all clear and she was sent home to sleep and rest as her blood results a bit erratic and as usual blood pressure low. Needs to be kept an eye on and as there is no way she can rest with a todder and energetic six year old (son in law home today but does not have any holiday left and does not get paid), I am 'reporting for duty' about 7.am tomorrow and will stay until son in law gets home from work. She has lovely friends who will do the school run with the eldest and I can make sure she rests whilst I get plenty of exercise keeping up with little Zack. Fingers crossed with a well earned rest she will improve quickly (it usually takes a few days) and at least with me being on holiday this week I can help out(a few things to cancel but will work something out - her health more important though I will keep my own check up with GP on Thursday (can pop in afterwards if she needs me).

Well definitely going to put my feet up this evening and hope you and Mrs B relaxing too.  Take care Jules x

Hi Jules,

Hope your daughter is feeling better now.

At last, yesterday I managed to clen the car (long overdue) and put the new front floor matts in as the old ones were way beyond their sell by date. Have collected Mrs B's and our neighbours prescriptions this morning. Our chemist is a really nice guy. There is something called Liquifruita with garlic that our neighbour likes and he hasnt been able to get for some while. However he told me this morning he has sourced it again so I took a chance and got her a bottle. She was so pleased.

My grandson has his pre-op on Friday. So many cold and stuff about at his schopl at the moment so hoping he doesnt pick anything up having waited so long. He told my son to phone me the other evening as he hadnt spoken to me for a while and he wanted to tell me and his grandmother to get better quick, bless him. Looks like the weather is going to warm up so may be able to get out into the garage to get some woodturning done. I have now got four craft fairs booked for this year (Six days) so must get my new items underway.

Take care Jules, have a restful week, Brian.

Well, second attempt to post - lost the last one for some reason and taken an age to get back on site so here goes.

Firstly just wanted to wish your grandson (and family) all the very best for tomorrow.  He is such a brave little lad he deserves the best possible outcome from his forthcoming surgery.

With the temperature rising I hope you will soon be enjoying woodwork again and letting us see your new ideas/creations as they take shape.  The wood club is very lucky to have such a hands on member and after all your hard work enlisting discounts at various companies bet they will all be queueing up to take advantage and the public at large can reap the purcharsing rewards at the 'fairs' planned. Good luck with it all. With an improvement in the weather and temperatures I am hoping to get in the garden and get first mow under my belt by the weekend (bit frosty here just now).

My daughter is improving thank you for asking.  Spent 12hrs at their place on Tuesday but yesterday she managed to do the school run and spent time catching up socially with a couple of very supportive friends (mums with children at same school). She now just has to wait  for appointment with local hospital heart specialist as a follow up (should have happened already and was told to chase it up!!).

I spent a pleasant couple of hours yesterday afternoon with old friends from hubby's racing days (70/80's) - he was co-driver and owner of car they raced (750cc club) and gave me a lovely framed photo of them both with their pride and joy - not the 'then girlfriend - me, who apparently took the picture, - very touched and good to remember happy days.  She has had MS since aged 18 and they are a devoted couple with him as her principal carer for many years now - both amazing in how they cope - very humbling.

Well, off for my monthly check up with GP in around an hour - still being kept an eye on but am sure there are more worthy patients that should be using my slot so hoping this may be the last pre-booked appointment.

Sending you and Mrs B peaceful wishes for today and always. Jules