Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

I hope you enjoyed you Friday night out and that maybe you even had a win. As regards the comfort eating, I dont blame you with all you have had to deal with recrently. After all Brianitus is still going strong so who am I to judge you????

Just typical when you want your phone line to play up with the engineer there ready to sort it out, it works perfectly. I have dropped some hints this morning about cheese straws to Mrs B but she was suddenly hard of hearing. This hearing suddenly improves however when I mention flowers!!!!!! Just dont understand it ha ha.

Sounds like you have a busy week ahead of you next week but feel sure you will enjoy it and I know your grandchildren will. It is many years since I went to London to look around.I fact thinking about it I believe it was when my son was quite young and I took him to some of the museums up there.

I hope you enjoy your walk tommorow morning. If you do please dont mention you have bought some more cheese as it makes Kathy's mouth water and we don't want to do that do we. CHEESE KATHY, sorry about that.

Take care Jules, have a peaceful weekend for it sounds as if you will need it for next week, Best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian.

Hi Brian

Well, no luck at the bingo on Friday but still good to be out with friend and to catch up on family news in between games. She also took me Lidl shopping yesterday as they go once a month and I am in the process of re-building a store cupboard ready for some healthier eating (still have to finish the naughty food up but not so much now!).  Kathy is safe from me as the Farmers Market not on today so will not be buying her fave food (hope you are doing okay Kathy - not long now to family wedding and am thinking of you as I know how emotional this will be for you all). Just to tickle your tastebuds Brian saw some nuts whilst shopping and thought of you (did not buy any though!).

Trying to get my head around the fact that I need to voice (write) my concerns of the 'mistakes' made during 'due process' during the arrangements for hubby though know it needs to be done, if only to prevent it happening to another family. I would not wish the emotional fall out on my worst enemy. Have tried to do draft letter but as there are two professionals at fault will have to deal with them separately. Not easy having to think about it all but know that, as a family, we need to have someone take notice and an apology would not be too much to ask I feel.  Perhaps my morning walk later will clear the cobwebs away and give me a boost in the right direction.

Well have bought a new cordless phone so need to read some instructions and see if I can get it set up on my own or whether being such a technophobe I will get the children to sort it when they next pop in.

Have a good day.  Regards  Jules x

Hi Jules,
Just lost a huge note to you, but let's try again....
Love how you say read the instructions before using.... Know it well.
All good here, family arrive 2 weeks tdy, am so excited.
Big sis has strange blood tests increase in creatine kinase will wait for 12 weeks for tests.  Needs lie down during day to be able to stay up 12 hrs plus.  She is 57 so quite a concern.  Best natured and most unselfish of my siblings.  She is the one who travelled out in July to help us and went home a physical and emotional wreck as had not been exposed to a terminal illness before and what is involved.  Was most supportive of how we were dealing with situation, talking and expressing our love a lot openly, but impacted her tremendously.  I will never forget what her spending time with us meant.
Anyway onto brighter subjects, 2 weeks till the family arrive, woo hoo, my madcap crew of cheese freaks, did you hear that Brian??? You would be in for a severe spanking with a birch rod , but honey you may enjoy it too much.... I must say not happy at the new movie out pinching  many of my catch phrases/ sayings.
Been hot last 2 days 40, but nothing you can do to change the weather.  Go with the flow.  Still I spent some time outside doing my stuff.  Yes I am mad, no question.
Great how you are enjoying keeping busy.  I was offered a job recently but not yet ready.....
Let's see if I can copy and paste this without losing it....
lots of love Kathyxxx

Hi Kathy

Can hear the excitement in your post regarding forthcoming family reunion/celebrations and am sure you will all never stop talking whilst they are over. Its wonderful how supportive big sis was for you at the hardest of times and hope that when her tests are completed things have settled down with regard to raised levels - to be honest not sure what medical conditions this could be but hopefully treatable if they remain high.She is no age at all and is must be very tiring for her.  Hope she can sleep on the journey and arrived refreshed. Certainly look forward to hearing all about the wedding in due course. Its over 7 years since our daughter married and still brings wonderful memories flooding back whenever I think about that day.

Went for my usual Sunday stroll (and had a manicure en route) and have had relaxing afternoon as plenty of walking tomorrow when we take grandchildren to London.  Just to whet your appetite could be a packed lunch of brie sandwiches (can you believe have found a 'lower fat' french variety and still tastes good (well had to test it out).))

Well is was nice to be offered a job even if you are not yet ready to take up the reins again just yet. It has to be a confidence booster.  I have two weeks leave as had to use up 'saved just in case' annual leave by end of March. Hoping to get some spring cleaning done and who knows may even get into the garden (new back wall to go up Tuesday weather and builder permitting!) but also have a few appointments to fit in(catch up on) so should be varied and am a bit surprised at how I am managing to fill the days already .

Well that's enough of my rambling.  Hope you are keeping well and don't overdo the gardening in the heat though expect you are well practiced at pacing yourself.  Sending hugs Jules xx

Just jumping in to say Hi Kathy = wow 40 degrees!! Couldn't cope with that - I would be flaking out all the time!!

Just thought 40 degs C. = you live in Aussy don't you? Near Adelaide? I think you said before =  Anne met an Aussy when she was 18 and spent 12 years in NT = Nhulunbuy - its all closed down now when they shut the copper mine there. She fancied moving to Adelaide = but the old man said NO and she returned to the UK = she had enough of bush living (you know what I mean)!!

I am really glad things are good for you = it must be really tough

Love to you = steven xxx

Hi Jules = how are you? You have been so kind to me with mum. If I had a magic wand = I would wave it over everyone - as I know you would! So, how are you = I hope everything is good at work. Its lovely to remember a marriage = that must have been a proud day!! Good on you Jules to have your break = we are the same - its arace to get the days in before end of March. Mind you my berievement leave is two weeks and has replaced alot of the break.

All the best and I do appreciate you Jules

Steven xxx

Hi Steven

We could all work wonders with magic wands but that said, reckon there is a kind of magic in being among the company  of so many supportive forum buddies on this site.  I know my life has been made much richer by being able to both offer and draw support since I joined.

As to how I am(and thank  you for asking), I am moving slowly forward and taking life as it comes (so much of my Dad's character showing through these days - he passed away 7yrs ago next month and it would have been his 92nd birthday on the 2nd March but he was a great believer in living in the present and letting the future take care of itself - maybe a knock on effect from having survived the 2nd world war (though losing his leg)when so many of his mates did not come home.  Emotions play a great part in our lives for all different reasons and even now I cannot read my own all of the time! I am still drawing comfort from the knowledge that hubby is at peace and I tried to do all I could to help him through his cancer journey.

Today my daughter and I took the grandchildren into London (fun going up and down to the tube by lift, escalators and carrying buggy with baby up and down stairs - am sure our muscles are much improved!!) and on to the London Eye. We were really lucky with the weather and have lots of nice photos. A little strange as the only other time I had been was when we took hubby for his 50th birthday surprise and my daughter went a good few years ago when she was on school trip!! Good memories to be drawing on.

All being well builder coming tomorrow to replace ramshackle back fence with sturdy wall so hope weather is kind to him though will be ready with hot cuppas and biscuits.

Take time to give yourself some TLC during your bereavement leave though I know it seems like lots to sort out and am sure Anne is being a tower of strength too - hope she is doing okay.  I was fortunate to get a month off and now I have two weeks break before returning again.Am beginning to wonder how we manage to fit everything in!!!  Keeping you and my other forum buddies in my thoughts and sending virtual hugs your way.  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Nice and sunny here today so hope your builder can get on with building you back wall. So pleased to hear you all enjoyed your day out yesterday. I bet you get quite a view from the London Eyeand hope you have some great photos you can look back on in the future. Bet you were feeling a little weary by the time you got home but I expect your grandson was still full of beans. I wish I had some of these young peoples energy.

I had to go shopping on my own this morning as Mrs B has a very heavy head cold and sore throat as well. I only got one thing wrong so have not had to visit A & E but did get her some flowers so that may have helped:D. I even got to push the trolley round the storethis morning, something I am very rarely allowed to do ha ha.

I hope you are able to get your internet problem sorted as I know how much you need it. When you think of it, it is amazing how it has changed the way we communicate with each other. I must admit, I was very reluctant to get connected but I am so glad I did. It's so easy to send messages to my family in Canada and my wood club members and forum buddies and wouldnt be without it now.

Take care Jules and enjoy your time off work, best wishes, Brian.

Hi Steven,

Yes am in suburbs of Adelaide.  I was actually cold last night as was 14 degrees and had to have a blanket over me in sitting room in front of TV.  In winter we are lucky to have a top temp of 14 which involves 3 layers of clothing, t shirt, flannelette shirt plus jumper on.  You can see why moving back to Scotland would be a problem for me.  

Last night the weatherman stated only a week left before summer is over and most admit my smile turned upside down.  Perverted though it does sound I do enjoy the heat.  Maybe should spend 6 months in each country.... Oh no I would spend 6 months getting the garden under control here then spend 6 months doing the same stuff at mums and my poor pets....

Thank you Steven for your support on this site.  You are truly a rock for a lot of us.  Best wishes to Anne, you are in my thoughts.

Hugs Kathy x

Oh thank you Jules = I am so deeply moved by what you have said. You bring to my mind about what mum said "many good men went to war and never came back = us girls just had to get on with it" = its that generation.

xx God Bless

hope the back fence is now good and strong. I have so much to do like that = wow! 

xxx steven xx

Oh thank you Jules = I am so deeply moved by what you have said. You bring to my mind about what mum said "many good men went to war and never came back = us girls just had to get on with it" = its that generation.

xx God Bless

hope the back fence is now good and strong. I have so much to do like that = wow! 

xxx steven xx

Hi Steven

Back fence is now a six foot high, eight foot wide wall so much more secure though local cats not amused!!

Hope your return to work was not too stressful but am sure it will be good to be back amongst the workmates who will understand your need to grieve but also be able to offer than bit of extra back up if you feel understandably a little more vulnerable than usual. (I certainly needed someone to look to when faced with difficulties in the early days of my return and will probably feel a bit nervous again after I return from two weeks leave - emotions are a little bewildering at times when you do not expect it). Yesterday was a fine example for me.  When Mum's new social worker rang to let us know the Council have at last agreed to fund my Mum in  her present care home (and refund some of her savings) I was a bit of a blubbering baby (just showed me how I had been stressing over it and the enormous relief for both my Mum and our family in general). Sending best wishes to you and Anne. Jules x

Hi Jules

I was so pleased to hear your Mum can stay where she is and I am sure a lot of that is down to you and all the effort you have put in on her behalf.

I do hope you are keeping well and looking after yourself.

Best wishes.

Gill

Morning Gill

Not keeping bad - usual aches and pains that the cold weather brings but nothing worth complaining about.

Keeping busy in mind and body seems to be helping though do find concentration for long periods a bit of an issue as the mind wanders.  Know its a normal road through the grieving process and am so well supported am really very lucky. Think its a good thing that I have never minded my own company (comes from being an only child and spending a lot of time alone during our marriage as hubby worked away from home quite regularly). Building a new way of life will take time to adjust to but it can and must be done.

Look after yourself and sounds as though worklife is keeping you well and truly busy (dont let it tire you out). Wishing you a peaceful weekend.  Jules x

Hi Jules, bit of an issue copying and pasting to you.  Thank u advice re wedding out fit.  Mother is quite conservative. But I dont want to overheat  on the day and maybe at my age now should say sorry mum but I am a big girl now and I consider my choice appropriate. 

Good to see your mums issues have been resolved, good on you girl.  Feel proud. This time in 8 days and 2 hours the Scottish family will be here but who is counting.... Yup me.

Hope my pic made it through but if not Jo and Max look out.

Glad your wall is up and as your spring is coming our autumn is starting...so envious of your spring bulbs showing now....

Take care, let's hopethis gets posted ok or I will get really miffed.

Kathy xxx

Hi Kathy

Am assuming you tried to 'copy' a picture over but a no show I am afraid (I have little joy when I try either and its only if I have  my daugher around that she figures it out (all to do with size of pixels apparently!!!) As you can probably see your written post is fine and I am sure your outfit will be just great for you  and it is you who needs to be happy with it (hark at me I sound like your mother now ha ha).  Just remember to remind your Mum/Sisters/ family from Scotland that they will not require wooly bloomers when they arrive to visit - no one needs fainting guests .  I can feel your excitement brewing and I am delighted for you all that you have this happy event ahead of you. Have a wonderful weekend.

Have been dropping bags into local charity shops today (and forcing  myself to leave with empty bags rather than refilling them!!)  Local recycling service is likely to be overworked for a few weeks as my Spring Clean is under way and am concentrating on the inside as when the weather improves a little I will be in the garden with my feet up and a book (just does not feel the same doing it indoors.).

Hope you and all your family both sides of the world are managing to keep calm and well.  Best wishes to you all Jules xx