Oh Jules forgive my post on my site to you .....I am so sorry not to have known of your hubbies departure.  You know from the support you have given me how well I understand your current situation and my heart goes out to you.  My site tells of my joirney through this uncharted place you find yourself in.  It is difficult but you will come through.

All my thoughts and a big virtual hug

Ian x

Hi Ian

Just lovely to see your name appear on my thread and suspect its just as hard for you to post but I really appreciate the message.  It was a long three years for hubby and I take much comfort in the fact that he is now free from the clutches of his disease which took his happiness away.  I am surrounded by the love of my family and friends (and the ongoing support of virtuality buddies) and now, like you, my life must be lived to the best of my ability. Early days still but so many memories to cherish and share with others - a few late nights of 'story-telling' along the way.

Sending hugs and best wishes and hope all is well with you and Julie in your new life.  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Very pleased you had a great day out in London. Little ones have so much energy they put us to shame. I spent most of yesterday typing out the names, addresses and phone numbers of companies who have agreed to give our club members a discount so we can get them published in our next news letter. Another benifit for our members.

Brother in law is still okay even though some days he does still feel tired. My son has just set another archery club record but grandaughter has not been going to practise as she has been getting so much homework lately. Still havent felt like going out to my garage to do more turning as although the weather has been nice, it's always so cold in my garage. Plus holding cold metal tools, standing in one spot and feeling the draught from the lathe makes it far worse. Bit frustrating as I want to try out some more new projects. At least my garage roof is no longer leaking so wont be getting a free shower every time it rains ha ha.

By the time you get to read this you will be starting you holiday leave. I feel sure you will enjoy your planned sightseing trip to London and your ride on the London Eye. I would imaging thats quite an exciting experiance, especially for the young ones. It's nice that you have such a good rapore with them as I do belive grandparents play such a vital role in childrens upbringing. I know from my own experiance, that sometimes my grandchildren take more notice of things I tell them than they do of their parents.

Well I have rambled enough for today Jules. Take care and I wish you a great time away from work, plus I hope you can get your internet problems sorted. Best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Hi Hope

Glad you finding time to relax during the school holidays.Wish my daughter could say the same ha ha. The excess energy of a six year old and little Zack's teething (very very disturbed nights just now) means I know she will be pleased to see school resume. Had phone engineer today who says all is well so we will see how it goes (of course the line was not noisy when they came, how typical is that!). Had daughter and kiddies for a few hours today and helped with homework (reading, spellings and the 'copying'of a poem into his school book was needed and all achieved between me and his Mum.  Somehow easier to concentrate when there maybe a little treat available (had bought him an I Spy book of London and he was very pleased as was able to tick a few off (and no doubt a few more after our next trip on Monday (hoping for good weather for the London Eye). Enjoy your weekend before returning to the mayhem that is work!  Sending hugs  Jules x

'

Hi Brian

Good to hear that your brother in law is doing well and hope this continues (he has a great example in you and someone who truly understands is very helpful).  Congrats to your son on his further archery success and am sure your grand-daughter will be 'catching him up' when school work allows.  So much to fit in. Hope you and Mrs B have had a good day today.  I have had phone engineer (who failed to find a fault and just typical no noise on the line when they came) so will have to see how it goes now. Am going to get myself new cordless phone tomorrow just in case its the 'antique' one I currently have.  Am also trying to take myself in hand with my ' healthy eating' again as the comfort eating brings its own problems.  Have written a list of ingredients for the store cupboard and am planning a session in the kitchen whilst on leave so I can have 'home made' ready meals in the freezer (never really enjoyed cooking but used to batch cook when I worked full time and maybe this will stop me heading towards the 'naughty foods' though still allow myself small treat.

First three days next week already 'booked up' with places to go, people to see plus hopefully getting the garden wall finally built. Am out this evening for my usual Friday night outing (not sure for how much longer as my friends are soon to move to a bungalow nearer to family but apparently I am going for 'sleepovers' as soon as they are settled).

Well ramble over and need to eat before going out so say cheerio for now and wish you and Mrs B a peaceful weekend ahead.  Take care  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

I hope you enjoyed you Friday night out and that maybe you even had a win. As regards the comfort eating, I dont blame you with all you have had to deal with recrently. After all Brianitus is still going strong so who am I to judge you????

Just typical when you want your phone line to play up with the engineer there ready to sort it out, it works perfectly. I have dropped some hints this morning about cheese straws to Mrs B but she was suddenly hard of hearing. This hearing suddenly improves however when I mention flowers!!!!!! Just dont understand it ha ha.

Sounds like you have a busy week ahead of you next week but feel sure you will enjoy it and I know your grandchildren will. It is many years since I went to London to look around.I fact thinking about it I believe it was when my son was quite young and I took him to some of the museums up there.

I hope you enjoy your walk tommorow morning. If you do please dont mention you have bought some more cheese as it makes Kathy's mouth water and we don't want to do that do we. CHEESE KATHY, sorry about that.

Take care Jules, have a peaceful weekend for it sounds as if you will need it for next week, Best wishes and kind thoughts, Brian.

Hi Brian

Well, no luck at the bingo on Friday but still good to be out with friend and to catch up on family news in between games. She also took me Lidl shopping yesterday as they go once a month and I am in the process of re-building a store cupboard ready for some healthier eating (still have to finish the naughty food up but not so much now!).  Kathy is safe from me as the Farmers Market not on today so will not be buying her fave food (hope you are doing okay Kathy - not long now to family wedding and am thinking of you as I know how emotional this will be for you all). Just to tickle your tastebuds Brian saw some nuts whilst shopping and thought of you (did not buy any though!).

Trying to get my head around the fact that I need to voice (write) my concerns of the 'mistakes' made during 'due process' during the arrangements for hubby though know it needs to be done, if only to prevent it happening to another family. I would not wish the emotional fall out on my worst enemy. Have tried to do draft letter but as there are two professionals at fault will have to deal with them separately. Not easy having to think about it all but know that, as a family, we need to have someone take notice and an apology would not be too much to ask I feel.  Perhaps my morning walk later will clear the cobwebs away and give me a boost in the right direction.

Well have bought a new cordless phone so need to read some instructions and see if I can get it set up on my own or whether being such a technophobe I will get the children to sort it when they next pop in.

Have a good day.  Regards  Jules x

Hi Jules,
Just lost a huge note to you, but let's try again....
Love how you say read the instructions before using.... Know it well.
All good here, family arrive 2 weeks tdy, am so excited.
Big sis has strange blood tests increase in creatine kinase will wait for 12 weeks for tests.  Needs lie down during day to be able to stay up 12 hrs plus.  She is 57 so quite a concern.  Best natured and most unselfish of my siblings.  She is the one who travelled out in July to help us and went home a physical and emotional wreck as had not been exposed to a terminal illness before and what is involved.  Was most supportive of how we were dealing with situation, talking and expressing our love a lot openly, but impacted her tremendously.  I will never forget what her spending time with us meant.
Anyway onto brighter subjects, 2 weeks till the family arrive, woo hoo, my madcap crew of cheese freaks, did you hear that Brian??? You would be in for a severe spanking with a birch rod , but honey you may enjoy it too much.... I must say not happy at the new movie out pinching  many of my catch phrases/ sayings.
Been hot last 2 days 40, but nothing you can do to change the weather.  Go with the flow.  Still I spent some time outside doing my stuff.  Yes I am mad, no question.
Great how you are enjoying keeping busy.  I was offered a job recently but not yet ready.....
Let's see if I can copy and paste this without losing it....
lots of love Kathyxxx

Hi Kathy

Can hear the excitement in your post regarding forthcoming family reunion/celebrations and am sure you will all never stop talking whilst they are over. Its wonderful how supportive big sis was for you at the hardest of times and hope that when her tests are completed things have settled down with regard to raised levels - to be honest not sure what medical conditions this could be but hopefully treatable if they remain high.She is no age at all and is must be very tiring for her.  Hope she can sleep on the journey and arrived refreshed. Certainly look forward to hearing all about the wedding in due course. Its over 7 years since our daughter married and still brings wonderful memories flooding back whenever I think about that day.

Went for my usual Sunday stroll (and had a manicure en route) and have had relaxing afternoon as plenty of walking tomorrow when we take grandchildren to London.  Just to whet your appetite could be a packed lunch of brie sandwiches (can you believe have found a 'lower fat' french variety and still tastes good (well had to test it out).))

Well is was nice to be offered a job even if you are not yet ready to take up the reins again just yet. It has to be a confidence booster.  I have two weeks leave as had to use up 'saved just in case' annual leave by end of March. Hoping to get some spring cleaning done and who knows may even get into the garden (new back wall to go up Tuesday weather and builder permitting!) but also have a few appointments to fit in(catch up on) so should be varied and am a bit surprised at how I am managing to fill the days already .

Well that's enough of my rambling.  Hope you are keeping well and don't overdo the gardening in the heat though expect you are well practiced at pacing yourself.  Sending hugs Jules xx

Just jumping in to say Hi Kathy = wow 40 degrees!! Couldn't cope with that - I would be flaking out all the time!!

Just thought 40 degs C. = you live in Aussy don't you? Near Adelaide? I think you said before =  Anne met an Aussy when she was 18 and spent 12 years in NT = Nhulunbuy - its all closed down now when they shut the copper mine there. She fancied moving to Adelaide = but the old man said NO and she returned to the UK = she had enough of bush living (you know what I mean)!!

I am really glad things are good for you = it must be really tough

Love to you = steven xxx

Hi Jules = how are you? You have been so kind to me with mum. If I had a magic wand = I would wave it over everyone - as I know you would! So, how are you = I hope everything is good at work. Its lovely to remember a marriage = that must have been a proud day!! Good on you Jules to have your break = we are the same - its arace to get the days in before end of March. Mind you my berievement leave is two weeks and has replaced alot of the break.

All the best and I do appreciate you Jules

Steven xxx

Hi Steven

We could all work wonders with magic wands but that said, reckon there is a kind of magic in being among the company  of so many supportive forum buddies on this site.  I know my life has been made much richer by being able to both offer and draw support since I joined.

As to how I am(and thank  you for asking), I am moving slowly forward and taking life as it comes (so much of my Dad's character showing through these days - he passed away 7yrs ago next month and it would have been his 92nd birthday on the 2nd March but he was a great believer in living in the present and letting the future take care of itself - maybe a knock on effect from having survived the 2nd world war (though losing his leg)when so many of his mates did not come home.  Emotions play a great part in our lives for all different reasons and even now I cannot read my own all of the time! I am still drawing comfort from the knowledge that hubby is at peace and I tried to do all I could to help him through his cancer journey.

Today my daughter and I took the grandchildren into London (fun going up and down to the tube by lift, escalators and carrying buggy with baby up and down stairs - am sure our muscles are much improved!!) and on to the London Eye. We were really lucky with the weather and have lots of nice photos. A little strange as the only other time I had been was when we took hubby for his 50th birthday surprise and my daughter went a good few years ago when she was on school trip!! Good memories to be drawing on.

All being well builder coming tomorrow to replace ramshackle back fence with sturdy wall so hope weather is kind to him though will be ready with hot cuppas and biscuits.

Take time to give yourself some TLC during your bereavement leave though I know it seems like lots to sort out and am sure Anne is being a tower of strength too - hope she is doing okay.  I was fortunate to get a month off and now I have two weeks break before returning again.Am beginning to wonder how we manage to fit everything in!!!  Keeping you and my other forum buddies in my thoughts and sending virtual hugs your way.  Jules x

Hi Steven

We could all work wonders with magic wands but that said, reckon there is a kind of magic in being among the company  of so many supportive forum buddies on this site.  I know my life has been made much richer by being able to both offer and draw support since I joined.

As to how I am(and thank  you for asking), I am moving slowly forward and taking life as it comes (so much of my Dad's character showing through these days - he passed away 7yrs ago next month and it would have been his 92nd birthday on the 2nd March but he was a great believer in living in the present and letting the future take care of itself - maybe a knock on effect from having survived the 2nd world war (though losing his leg)when so many of his mates did not come home.  Emotions play a great part in our lives for all different reasons and even now I cannot read my own all of the time! I am still drawing comfort from the knowledge that hubby is at peace and I tried to do all I could to help him through his cancer journey.

Today my daughter and I took the grandchildren into London (fun going up and down to the tube by lift, escalators and carrying buggy with baby up and down stairs - am sure our muscles are much improved!!) and on to the London Eye. We were really lucky with the weather and have lots of nice photos. A little strange as the only other time I had been was when we took hubby for his 50th birthday surprise and my daughter went a good few years ago when she was on school trip!! Good memories to be drawing on.

All being well builder coming tomorrow to replace ramshackle back fence with sturdy wall so hope weather is kind to him though will be ready with hot cuppas and biscuits.

Take time to give yourself some TLC during your bereavement leave though I know it seems like lots to sort out and am sure Anne is being a tower of strength too - hope she is doing okay.  I was fortunate to get a month off and now I have two weeks break before returning again.Am beginning to wonder how we manage to fit everything in!!!  Keeping you and my other forum buddies in my thoughts and sending virtual hugs your way.  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

Nice and sunny here today so hope your builder can get on with building you back wall. So pleased to hear you all enjoyed your day out yesterday. I bet you get quite a view from the London Eyeand hope you have some great photos you can look back on in the future. Bet you were feeling a little weary by the time you got home but I expect your grandson was still full of beans. I wish I had some of these young peoples energy.

I had to go shopping on my own this morning as Mrs B has a very heavy head cold and sore throat as well. I only got one thing wrong so have not had to visit A & E but did get her some flowers so that may have helped:D. I even got to push the trolley round the storethis morning, something I am very rarely allowed to do ha ha.

I hope you are able to get your internet problem sorted as I know how much you need it. When you think of it, it is amazing how it has changed the way we communicate with each other. I must admit, I was very reluctant to get connected but I am so glad I did. It's so easy to send messages to my family in Canada and my wood club members and forum buddies and wouldnt be without it now.

Take care Jules and enjoy your time off work, best wishes, Brian.

Oh thank you Jules = I am so deeply moved by what you have said. You bring to my mind about what mum said "many good men went to war and never came back = us girls just had to get on with it" = its that generation.

xx God Bless

hope the back fence is now good and strong. I have so much to do like that = wow! 

xxx steven xx

Hi Brian

Well not sure how long connection will hold for but Engineers have been 'up the pole' and currently have landline/net restored though weather does seem to be causing some problems with signal- never rains but it pours.

Firstly hope Mrs B is feeling better and that you do not catch the lurgy.  Seems to be lots of bugs around but then I suppose its the time of year for them.

I am currently on an emotional high and need to share some good news.  I visited Mum yesterday and had her care plan meeting with her key worker which went okay.  Whilst I was there her social worker rang to inform the home and in turn me and Mum that the council have finally agreed to keep her 'where she is' - Needless to say I ended up blubbing like a baby and as you can imagine the relief is enormous.They are also to refund Mum for the last 5 months she has paid for her care to bring her savings back to the 'safe limit'. I returned home to spread the news within the family and am currently seeing the brighter side of life. 

New wall is also completed and on top of that had a lovely bouquet of flowers delivered from the ladies who I dealt with at the funeral directors.  I am one very spoilt lady just now.

Well, the novelty of being back online means I have some catching up to do (and bills to sort). Do take care and hope to be able to stay in touch again now.  Best regards Jules x

Hi Jules = wow I am so pleased for you - thats great

xxxx

steven

Oh Jules,

That is fantastic news about your mother being able to stay at the home and that they are also giving a refund as well. And so they should, and part of that is due to you and the persistant way you have handled the difficult situation. So well done for I know it has been a long hard and stressful battle you have fought during a very stressful time. About time you had some good news, you are long overdue.I am so pleased for you and your mother. Glad the wall is done and hope your phone line is fixed properly this time.

I have had a bit of a cold but nothing much. Mrs B is slowly getting better thank you. Glad you have also got some flowers. I bought Mrs B some on Tuesday as well as some grapes and strawberiies.

It's been raining here all day and have had to put the light on to see the keyboard. Take care, and I wish you a peaceful week. Will post again soon, Big hugs, Brian.

.

Hi Steven

Back fence is now a six foot high, eight foot wide wall so much more secure though local cats not amused!!

Hope your return to work was not too stressful but am sure it will be good to be back amongst the workmates who will understand your need to grieve but also be able to offer than bit of extra back up if you feel understandably a little more vulnerable than usual. (I certainly needed someone to look to when faced with difficulties in the early days of my return and will probably feel a bit nervous again after I return from two weeks leave - emotions are a little bewildering at times when you do not expect it). Yesterday was a fine example for me.  When Mum's new social worker rang to let us know the Council have at last agreed to fund my Mum in  her present care home (and refund some of her savings) I was a bit of a blubbering baby (just showed me how I had been stressing over it and the enormous relief for both my Mum and our family in general). Sending best wishes to you and Anne. Jules x

Hi Jules

I was so pleased to hear your Mum can stay where she is and I am sure a lot of that is down to you and all the effort you have put in on her behalf.

I do hope you are keeping well and looking after yourself.

Best wishes.

Gill

Morning Brian

Glad to say the weather has cheered up today following the downpours of yesterday (very wet walk to the charity shop!!). Cold and frosty start but the garden looks pretty and birds are lined up waiting for breakfast !

Yes, a great relief for all concerned with my Mum's care and though I of course did my bit (a few well chosen words here and there and lots of form filling) I really must give huge credit to the care staff who all did their bit and ultimately to Mum's new social worker who was positive from the moment he was appointed (thank goodness I had some sense in asking for 'fresh eyes' the second time round).  The big regret of course is that hubby is not here to share the moment as he spent much time 'worrying for my sanity' at times.  Maybe he is quietly smiling down upon us all as we take our journey forward.

Hope you and Mrs B continue to feel better (the fruit sounded a really good cheer up option and whetted my appetite so am off to the shops again later - am thinking smoothie for lunch - really need to take myself in hand and lose the 'comfort eating' weight I gained in the last few months). I suppose the real answer is to stop buying the 'naughty foods' then cannot be tempted - easier said than done though during this cold weather ha ha. Have a good day. Jules x

Morning Gill

Not keeping bad - usual aches and pains that the cold weather brings but nothing worth complaining about.

Keeping busy in mind and body seems to be helping though do find concentration for long periods a bit of an issue as the mind wanders.  Know its a normal road through the grieving process and am so well supported am really very lucky. Think its a good thing that I have never minded my own company (comes from being an only child and spending a lot of time alone during our marriage as hubby worked away from home quite regularly). Building a new way of life will take time to adjust to but it can and must be done.

Look after yourself and sounds as though worklife is keeping you well and truly busy (dont let it tire you out). Wishing you a peaceful weekend.  Jules x

Good morning Gill,

Pleased to hear you are busy work wise. Thanks for asking about my yougest grandson. He has had a bad stomach infection for some while and he now has to go into hospital for an operation in March 13th. When asked by his mother how he felt about it by his mother, he replied that he was looking forward to it. his astoshed mother asked why and he told her it was because he knows it will make him better. Allthough he is still the happy cheeky little lad, I think this shows it has been troubling him more than he has let on to anyone. Have lots of new story ideas and about five underway, but have not had time to do any more with them as I have been busy with my woodclub activities and with my cancer charities.

Take care and dont work too hard, best wishes, Brian.