Hi everyone

Just logged on and am totally overwhelmed (you sure as hell know how to bring out my emotions!!).  Thamk you all so much.  My hubby's celebration of life was so well attended it was 'shifted' to the larger chapel and despite the obvious sadness, we were as one in our thoughts and prayers as we bade a final goodbye. Many tears but also laughter as we all had our memories out for an airing in the three hours following the service. Beautiful buffet provided by his local drinking hole and a good few glasses raised (even if a lot were soft drinks ha ha) and we had some to take home for supper too!  The children and grandchildren came back and we had a very relaxed evening together (daughter and family stayed over so the boys could go to bed at normal time).

Today has been spent catching up with thank you notes and more paperwork plus tea and cake with friends at lunch time.  We managed to raise over £550 for the nominated charity who had helped hubby at the start of his journey - he would have been thrilled.

Brian, sorry to read about your Grandson's infection and do hope they can get him more comfortable very soon.  Our eldest has an emergency ENT appointment tomorrow (another half day off school) to follow up on a week of nosebleeds (the last one took over 2hrs to stem) and to see if they are going to cauterize.  I shall have Zack for a couple of hours (he has just cut tooth no.3 and it will be easier for daughter/son in law to concentrate rather than coping with both of them during the hospital appointment).

Once again thanks to all my forum friends for your continued love, prayers and support which is truly appreciated.  Hugs and kind thoughts to your all.  Jules xxx

Good morning Jules,

So pleased that everything went okay. I understand what you so clevery wrote to Margret about it being like two sides of a coin. You have a lovely way with words, and is probably helped by all the books you have read. 

I have got to go for a blood test later for my prostate survelance and tonight I have a committee meeting for my local cancer charity. Apparently my grandsons infection is probably in his stomach which is why he keeps feelin/ being sick. he has had quite a few days off school poor lad. One specialist even thinks he may have a cyst in his stomach hence why they are talking of an operation. But as I have said, he still keeps happy and doesnt seem to let things get him down. When I was talking to Mrs B about when I told her I had prostate cancer, She said the reason why she took it so well was that she knew I would get over it as I never let anything worry me and have always looked on the positive side of things. Made me feel real lucky she is my wife and that she had so much faith in me.

I hope you are able to resolve the situation regarding your mothers residence as you dont need added stress on top of all you have been through lately. She is happy where she is so I hope a way can be found to let her stay where she is. Also I hope the hospital are able to sort out your grandsons nose bleeds. I need to sign off for now as I have to leave to go to the surgery shortly,will talk again soon. Take care Jules, sending kind thought and best wishes your way, Brian

Hi Jo

Thanks for your post.  No snow where I am but  dry all day.  Just after dusk has started to drizzle but I am now tucked up by the fire with a large mug of tea (shorrtbread tin is empty but choccies look tempting!!!!)

Well, what a day.  Visited Mum  for a while and was greeted with a smile and she had had her hair set - such a difference to see her looking  good!  She has seemed a little more settled (strange what the death of her son in law has brought about - think though she is still 'down' she is also supporting me bless her. Got back home, via shoe shop (new trainers as wore hole in bottom of old ones ha ha) and supermarket (sister in law coming for dinner tomorrow evening  before returning to Isle of Man on Friday and there was a phone message for Mum's new social worker.  I thought my e-mail had done the trick  until he said that he called at the home just over a week ago (to see another client) and made enquiries regarding Mum but was informed of my bereavement and decided to give me some breathing space before contacting me - thoughtful start to our contact and he understood my frustrations.  We have booked an appointment for him to re-assess Mum next Tuesday so I will  be able to go along too.  So will wait and see what happens now!

Eldest grandson had one nostril cauterized at ENT appt. and so we will see if that helps.  He told me he was very brace, had two stickers to prove it and will take them into school tomorrow to show and tell. Zack was no problem for the time I had him (even managed a 25min nap) and has a lovely giggly nature and waited till his Mum and Dad returned before filling his nappy .  Gave the grandchildren tea and then they went home to get to bed.

Hope Paddy enjoyed is snow walk and you did not get too cold.  Love to look at it but hate it when it goes slushy/icy. 

take care and love and hugs returned with thanks for continued chat/support.  This forum is helping me cope on a day to day basis  naturally a few teary moments but am glad to be able to show emotion and have mutual support of family friends on my new journey forward.  Jules xx

Hi Brian

Hope your blood test comes back with good results re your prostate 'levels' and that your meeting this evening went well - you are surely being kept busy and its nice that you can give so much back having dealt with cancer firsthand.

  I have spent a good few hours writing thank you notes in response to the wonderful donations made in hubby's memory and they are still coming in so the chosen charity will be chuffed to bits I hope.

Good news on Mum's re-assessment. Had call today and she has new social worker so we are having a meeting next Tuesday afternoon which should move matters on - a great relief I can tell you. However it turns out, at least we will know where we stand but hopefully she will  be able to stay put- time will tell. She was in good spirits today and had had her hair set too - made such a difference to see her smile on my arrival.

Really hope that your youngest grandson's tummy can be sorted out soon - he is such a brave lad and deserves to be pain free and comfortable so that he can enjoy life and be back with his school friends.

My eldest grandson had bis appointment at the ENT department of local hospital and had one nostril cauterized so hoping this will help him.  Another afternoon out of school but needs must,  He has Science Club after school tomorrow and is really looking forward to it.

Well best go and 'dish up' - have Cornish Pasty in the oven (wont be as good as what you get in Cornwell but the kitchen is not so far to travel). All the best to you and Mrs B and hope her brother (and your Dad) still doing ok.  Hugs Jules x

Hi Jules = I am glad your husbands Celebration of Life went well  - I can imagine it was a very moving occasion and I am glad it went well. It must be strange just making breakfast as you are now. How strange it is!!

my bestest wishes =  you are so strong Jules = do take care = we will be thinking of you

Steven xxx

Hello Jules so glad things are moving as ragards to mum ,and that the new social worker is more helpful too, about time they got back to you eh ..Good that the donations are mounting up andyou will be proud to hand it over to the charity im sure ..Im so glad you are still able to come to the forum brave lady and still giving much needed support to others, what would we do without you  .My youngest son came to dinner today he had a day of so I made cottage pie his favourite then we walked his dog a jack russel Freddie and Rusty we went to the beach and thought it would quiet but I have never seen so many dogs in one place but it did stay dry for us .Jules Take care hugs sent x...Sueanne

Hi Jules,

I am so glad for you that Monday went as well as it did and that you were also able to raise as much money as you did in hubby's memory.  You and your family truly are amazing!

It is a shame that, with everything you have had to deal with you are having such a tough time trying to sort out the re-assessment for your Mum.  Threatening them with the PM is a good idea as I discovered recently, after the lack of support from head office after Claire left, that going above somebody's head can be the only way to gert things done.

Just to update on Hannah they said on Sunday that she would receive a dye and scan on her kidneys on Monday which they promptly failed to do.  As a result she will either stay in hospital for another week or go home and then return next week as they only seem able to perform this test on a Monday.  Maybe they do broken legs on Tuesdays and stubbed toes on Wednesdays, (sorry for the sarcasm!)

Will check in soon although I have an awful lot to sort out at work before I take next week off to spend a busman's holiday at home and replace the facia and gutter on the bungalow.

All the very best to you my friend.

Garf. xxx

Hi Jules, glad you are getting such wonderous support, you deserve it.  Keeping busy is a godsend.  I am still busy , paperwork etc 3 months down the track.  Good mum appears to be doing better. Visited the in laws tdy, first time since hubby passed.MIL only got out of hosp 3 days ago, but was good to be there when nurses visited so I could ask them what was the prognosis etc.... Questions father in law forgets to ask due to his advancing years and all he has on his plate.  Managed to do a bit of weeding for them while MIL dosed and also allowed father in law to talk freely to me.  Son and family will visit them during the weekend, which they will enjoy immensely.  I am so fortunate in my family.big hugs to you , lovely lady.  Kathy xx

Hi Stephen

To be honest having breakfast alone had been a feature long before hubby passed away (lunch and dinner too!!) as in the last months he struggled with food.  Now I am in the strange phase of adjustment to so many things that only time can help with.  Still on that day by day course and keeping occupied through both necessity and good diversions are available too.

Have been able to help our children too so motherly instincts still in use (being needed as well as to comfort is a very real part of the early healing process I find).  Have had sister in law here for the evening before her return to Isle of Man and now 'winding down' before seeing what tomorrow brings (apart from doing the laundry(may order a new washing machine tomorrow!!) and going on my usual bingo night. out).  Kind thoughts sent to you and yours. Jules

Hi sueanne

Day to day tasks help to keep me on the straight and narrow and being focussed on what needs to be sorted will certainly keep me occupied for weeks and possibly months to come. Not rushing but being practical and am lucky to be able to have the time to give support to those going through similar journies (though sad to know how much pain we all have to go through along the way).

Nice that you had your son and were able to treat him to his fave meal and walk the dogs. I met my daughter in the High Street today and after doing our shopping stopped for hot chocolate (and a cup cake for her!) whilst Zack slept in the pushchair.  Will certainly miss the treats when I go back to work!!!

Take care and sending peaceful thoughts and hugs.  Jules x

Hi Garf

Really sad to read that Hannah still has no answers yet and is being kept waiting - really horrid time for you all. Maybe another case for 'going higher up' to get results - just wish it was not necessary in every walk of life these days to achieve the right results!!!  No apologies needed for your sarcasm (I suspect you are spitting bricks inside just now).

Hope you find time for some relaxation during your 'busman's holiday'.  I have builder coming at the weekend to 'size up' new wall to keep back garden secure (fence resembles a woodpile!!) and hope to get the car moved too.  Highlight tomorrow could be ordering new washer/dryer - how sad is that ha ha.

Take care of yourself and hope you manage a peaceful break from the work stresses you have been under.  hugs sent your way and I must get some shut eye!  Jules

Hi Garf

Really sad to read that Hannah still has no answers yet and is being kept waiting - really horrid time for you all. Maybe another case for 'going higher up' to get results - just wish it was not necessary in every walk of life these days to achieve the right results!!!  No apologies needed for your sarcasm (I suspect you are spitting bricks inside just now).

Hope you find time for some relaxation during your 'busman's holiday'.  I have builder coming at the weekend to 'size up' new wall to keep back garden secure (fence resembles a woodpile!!) and hope to get the car moved too.  Highlight tomorrow could be ordering new washer/dryer - how sad is that ha ha.

Take care of yourself and hope you manage a peaceful break from the work stresses you have been under.  hugs sent your way and I must get some shut eye!  Jules

Good evening Jules,

I hope after your late night last night that you are not too tired to appreciate going to bingo tonight.  As for ordering a new washer, there is nothing sad about that at all - - don't forget I am a man and so the purchase of any kind of new, electrical appliance is something to get excited about in my eyes.

Hannah was sent home yesterday but she has to go back as an out patient on Monday to have the test she was meant to have four days ago.  She has to self medicate until then using this Morphine substitute she has been on.  I will update after that although it will still take a week or so to get the results after that.

I do have work to do at home but hoping to get it done in no more than two days so I can relax for the rest of the week.  I am certainly spending a little time with a bottle of beer I was given at work to enjoy while I have a good catch up with Claire in a few days.

Good luck with the builder looking at your fence replacement tomorrow and having the car moved. So many changes for you to deal with Jules although my step mum has made quite a few changes over time since Dad died which has helped her to cope.

Take care as always.

Garf. xx

Good Morning Garf

Whilst Hannach has no answers and still has to self medicate (hope that is helping with her pain). I am sure she will be much happier being allowed to be at home until they conduct the needed test (a great shame they could not do it when originally planned though).  It might well be worth her family talking to PALS representative at the hospital in question as it sounds as though they feel let down by the system  and need someone on their side to look into it.

Hope the 'busmans' side of your home leave is done and dusted quickly and that you enjoy your catch up with Claire (is she down or you going up?).  Hopefully you will get some relaxing social time with Mrs G too.

For your excitement only() my new washer/dryer is to be delivered next week so can stop saving all my pounds coins and 50p's to feed into launderetet machines!! and spend them on something else (probably on guttering repairs!).   My bereavement grant is being put to good use - new brick wall to make end of garden secure(being estimated today and my son in law is over-seeing this and the sale of hubby's car (what do I know about such things ha ha!!!!)).  I am so lucky to have the kids close by and we are continuing to comfort each other in these early days of loss.  Our son is away this weekend on a stag do for his best mate (he is best man in a couple of weeks so hope he does not lose the bridegroom whilst across the channel!).

Well, the sun is now up and looks like we are having a lovely day ahead to maybe I will get into the garden with the grandchildren later (I need to refil the bird feeders and they can 'try and help').

Take care of yourself. Hugs  Jules x