Hi everyone

Just logged on and am totally overwhelmed (you sure as hell know how to bring out my emotions!!).  Thamk you all so much.  My hubby's celebration of life was so well attended it was 'shifted' to the larger chapel and despite the obvious sadness, we were as one in our thoughts and prayers as we bade a final goodbye. Many tears but also laughter as we all had our memories out for an airing in the three hours following the service. Beautiful buffet provided by his local drinking hole and a good few glasses raised (even if a lot were soft drinks ha ha) and we had some to take home for supper too!  The children and grandchildren came back and we had a very relaxed evening together (daughter and family stayed over so the boys could go to bed at normal time).

Today has been spent catching up with thank you notes and more paperwork plus tea and cake with friends at lunch time.  We managed to raise over £550 for the nominated charity who had helped hubby at the start of his journey - he would have been thrilled.

Brian, sorry to read about your Grandson's infection and do hope they can get him more comfortable very soon.  Our eldest has an emergency ENT appointment tomorrow (another half day off school) to follow up on a week of nosebleeds (the last one took over 2hrs to stem) and to see if they are going to cauterize.  I shall have Zack for a couple of hours (he has just cut tooth no.3 and it will be easier for daughter/son in law to concentrate rather than coping with both of them during the hospital appointment).

Once again thanks to all my forum friends for your continued love, prayers and support which is truly appreciated.  Hugs and kind thoughts to your all.  Jules xxx

Hello Margaret

Friends and family have been  amazing and are still looking after me (tea and cake in plentiful supply).

Hubby's celebration of life was like two sides of a coin with sorrow on one side and wonderful everlasting memories on the other (we are all hanging on to those).  To see so many people attending (even people popping out in their lunch hours to pay their respects plus one person coming in disguise to avoid being noticed by an 'ex') was overwhelming in the show of love and respect for my man.  Like yourself it also bought back other sad memories (having lost a dear friend just nine months ago).  Have to accept there will be emotional ups and downs as I continue travelling my journey of life but hubby would definitely be encouraging me to 'live it' and in turn I am encouraging my children to make the most of every day - perspectives are changing but no one can take the past away from us and we talk often and openly of a wonderful husband, dad and grandad.

Ramble over but thanks for taking the time to talk to me.  Have a peaceful day.

Good morning Hope

Am appreciating the kind thoughts you and others are bringing to me just now. Still feels a little strange that I only have myself to 'see to' especially first thing in the morning but still plenty to keep me occupied just now.

Hubby's brother and sister in law returned to Isle of Man yesterday but his elder sister is still over and coming for dinner tomorrow before also returning to the Island. Not sure it has really sunk in for them yet but they are throwing themselves into renovating the 'dream' home (not even proper bed to sleep on yet!) and sometime in the future I expect to visit them all as hubby's representative though suspect he is watching their efforts (as he watches mine to make necessary adjustments!!).

Hope all is well with you and the family.  Take care  Jules x

Good morning Jules,

So pleased that everything went okay. I understand what you so clevery wrote to Margret about it being like two sides of a coin. You have a lovely way with words, and is probably helped by all the books you have read. 

I have got to go for a blood test later for my prostate survelance and tonight I have a committee meeting for my local cancer charity. Apparently my grandsons infection is probably in his stomach which is why he keeps feelin/ being sick. he has had quite a few days off school poor lad. One specialist even thinks he may have a cyst in his stomach hence why they are talking of an operation. But as I have said, he still keeps happy and doesnt seem to let things get him down. When I was talking to Mrs B about when I told her I had prostate cancer, She said the reason why she took it so well was that she knew I would get over it as I never let anything worry me and have always looked on the positive side of things. Made me feel real lucky she is my wife and that she had so much faith in me.

I hope you are able to resolve the situation regarding your mothers residence as you dont need added stress on top of all you have been through lately. She is happy where she is so I hope a way can be found to let her stay where she is. Also I hope the hospital are able to sort out your grandsons nose bleeds. I need to sign off for now as I have to leave to go to the surgery shortly,will talk again soon. Take care Jules, sending kind thought and best wishes your way, Brian

Hi Jo

Thanks for your post.  No snow where I am but  dry all day.  Just after dusk has started to drizzle but I am now tucked up by the fire with a large mug of tea (shorrtbread tin is empty but choccies look tempting!!!!)

Well, what a day.  Visited Mum  for a while and was greeted with a smile and she had had her hair set - such a difference to see her looking  good!  She has seemed a little more settled (strange what the death of her son in law has brought about - think though she is still 'down' she is also supporting me bless her. Got back home, via shoe shop (new trainers as wore hole in bottom of old ones ha ha) and supermarket (sister in law coming for dinner tomorrow evening  before returning to Isle of Man on Friday and there was a phone message for Mum's new social worker.  I thought my e-mail had done the trick  until he said that he called at the home just over a week ago (to see another client) and made enquiries regarding Mum but was informed of my bereavement and decided to give me some breathing space before contacting me - thoughtful start to our contact and he understood my frustrations.  We have booked an appointment for him to re-assess Mum next Tuesday so I will  be able to go along too.  So will wait and see what happens now!

Eldest grandson had one nostril cauterized at ENT appt. and so we will see if that helps.  He told me he was very brace, had two stickers to prove it and will take them into school tomorrow to show and tell. Zack was no problem for the time I had him (even managed a 25min nap) and has a lovely giggly nature and waited till his Mum and Dad returned before filling his nappy .  Gave the grandchildren tea and then they went home to get to bed.

Hope Paddy enjoyed is snow walk and you did not get too cold.  Love to look at it but hate it when it goes slushy/icy. 

take care and love and hugs returned with thanks for continued chat/support.  This forum is helping me cope on a day to day basis  naturally a few teary moments but am glad to be able to show emotion and have mutual support of family friends on my new journey forward.  Jules xx

Hi Brian

Hope your blood test comes back with good results re your prostate 'levels' and that your meeting this evening went well - you are surely being kept busy and its nice that you can give so much back having dealt with cancer firsthand.

  I have spent a good few hours writing thank you notes in response to the wonderful donations made in hubby's memory and they are still coming in so the chosen charity will be chuffed to bits I hope.

Good news on Mum's re-assessment. Had call today and she has new social worker so we are having a meeting next Tuesday afternoon which should move matters on - a great relief I can tell you. However it turns out, at least we will know where we stand but hopefully she will  be able to stay put- time will tell. She was in good spirits today and had had her hair set too - made such a difference to see her smile on my arrival.

Really hope that your youngest grandson's tummy can be sorted out soon - he is such a brave lad and deserves to be pain free and comfortable so that he can enjoy life and be back with his school friends.

My eldest grandson had bis appointment at the ENT department of local hospital and had one nostril cauterized so hoping this will help him.  Another afternoon out of school but needs must,  He has Science Club after school tomorrow and is really looking forward to it.

Well best go and 'dish up' - have Cornish Pasty in the oven (wont be as good as what you get in Cornwell but the kitchen is not so far to travel). All the best to you and Mrs B and hope her brother (and your Dad) still doing ok.  Hugs Jules x

Hi Jules = I am glad your husbands Celebration of Life went well  - I can imagine it was a very moving occasion and I am glad it went well. It must be strange just making breakfast as you are now. How strange it is!!

my bestest wishes =  you are so strong Jules = do take care = we will be thinking of you

Steven xxx

Hello Jules so glad things are moving as ragards to mum ,and that the new social worker is more helpful too, about time they got back to you eh ..Good that the donations are mounting up andyou will be proud to hand it over to the charity im sure ..Im so glad you are still able to come to the forum brave lady and still giving much needed support to others, what would we do without you  .My youngest son came to dinner today he had a day of so I made cottage pie his favourite then we walked his dog a jack russel Freddie and Rusty we went to the beach and thought it would quiet but I have never seen so many dogs in one place but it did stay dry for us .Jules Take care hugs sent x...Sueanne

Hi Jules,

I am so glad for you that Monday went as well as it did and that you were also able to raise as much money as you did in hubby's memory.  You and your family truly are amazing!

It is a shame that, with everything you have had to deal with you are having such a tough time trying to sort out the re-assessment for your Mum.  Threatening them with the PM is a good idea as I discovered recently, after the lack of support from head office after Claire left, that going above somebody's head can be the only way to gert things done.

Just to update on Hannah they said on Sunday that she would receive a dye and scan on her kidneys on Monday which they promptly failed to do.  As a result she will either stay in hospital for another week or go home and then return next week as they only seem able to perform this test on a Monday.  Maybe they do broken legs on Tuesdays and stubbed toes on Wednesdays, (sorry for the sarcasm!)

Will check in soon although I have an awful lot to sort out at work before I take next week off to spend a busman's holiday at home and replace the facia and gutter on the bungalow.

All the very best to you my friend.

Garf. xxx

Hi Jules, glad you are getting such wonderous support, you deserve it.  Keeping busy is a godsend.  I am still busy , paperwork etc 3 months down the track.  Good mum appears to be doing better. Visited the in laws tdy, first time since hubby passed.MIL only got out of hosp 3 days ago, but was good to be there when nurses visited so I could ask them what was the prognosis etc.... Questions father in law forgets to ask due to his advancing years and all he has on his plate.  Managed to do a bit of weeding for them while MIL dosed and also allowed father in law to talk freely to me.  Son and family will visit them during the weekend, which they will enjoy immensely.  I am so fortunate in my family.big hugs to you , lovely lady.  Kathy xx

Hi Jules, glad you are getting such wonderous support, you deserve it.  Keeping busy is a godsend.  I am still busy , paperwork etc 3 months down the track.  Good mum appears to be doing better. Visited the in laws tdy, first time since hubby passed.MIL only got out of hosp 3 days ago, but was good to be there when nurses visited so I could ask them what was the prognosis etc.... Questions father in law forgets to ask due to his advancing years and all he has on his plate.  Managed to do a bit of weeding for them while MIL dosed and also allowed father in law to talk freely to me.  Son and family will visit them during the weekend, which they will enjoy immensely.  I am so fortunate in my family.big hugs to you , lovely lady.  Kathy xx

Hi Kathy

Good that  you have managed that 'first visit' to the inlaws - all the firsts seems to come with differing emotions I am finding at present.Hopefully now that your MIL is recuperating at home her progress will be steady and am sure they will enjoy family visits.

  Next week is turning out to be full of appointments so just as well still on leave.  Hoping to off load the paperwork surrounding the legal side of things as should appoint solicitors after the weekend.  This will at least lighten the load. Our eldest grandson, having  had one appointment at hospital yesterday for nasal cauterization has another appointment through to attend Gt Ormond Street Hosp  next week (this refers to check up into 'night rocking' and entails him being watched whilst asleep so I am having Zack so both Mum and Dad can be with him. 

Well the clock has turned onto another day and as I want to be up early tomorrow I had better 'hit the sack'.  Chat soon and do take care of yourself .  Kind and peaceful thoughts are sent your way.  Jules x 

Good morning Jules,

I see you were burning the midnight oil last night. Pleased you are hoping to order your new washing machien today. Mrs B loves the new one we bought some months ago now. Mrs B said, "Its so simple to use even an idiot like me could probably use it", thats not to say I will however:D.

When I went to see my youngest grandson, he ran up and gave me a massive hug; really made me feel welcome. I have another two meetings next week so still keeping busy. I am luck Mrs B doesnt mind me keep going out. While writting this I am eating a bag of cashew nuts as I have now finnished all my chestnuts.

Glad you have at last got some news on your mothers social service help. I hope this one is more appreciative of your mothers needs and also the affect it has and is having on you. Hope your grandsons hospital trip can help solve his problem. I have now had three e-mails thanking me for my speach last week which were much appreciated.

Anyway, take care Jules, I have to help Mrs B now with the hoovering. Have a peaceful weekend for you truely desrve it, big hugs, Brian

Good morning Jules,

I see you were burning the midnight oil last night. Pleased you are hoping to order your new washing machien today. Mrs B loves the new one we bought some months ago now. Mrs B said, "Its so simple to use even an idiot like me could probably use it", thats not to say I will however:D.

When I went to see my youngest grandson, he ran up and gave me a massive hug; really made me feel welcome. I have another two meetings next week so still keeping busy. I am luck Mrs B doesnt mind me keep going out. While writting this I am eating a bag of cashew nuts as I have now finnished all my chestnuts.

Glad you have at last got some news on your mothers social service help. I hope this one is more appreciative of your mothers needs and also the affect it has and is having on you. Hope your grandsons hospital trip can help solve his problem. I have now had three e-mails thanking me for my speach last week which were much appreciated.

Anyway, take care Jules, I have to help Mrs B now with the hoovering. Have a peaceful weekend for you truely desrve it, big hugs, Brian

Morning Brian

Am sure my neighbours think I burn the candle at both ends.  I love the early mornings (probably a throwback to not being allowed 'lay-ins' as I grew up) so am very often up by 5.30.  On the other hand I also like the late evening (could it be these are very peaceful times of days!!?) so apparently can manage well on short sleep hours.

Early trips to the launderette will,however, soon be a thing of the past as I have new washer/dryer coming next week (think my children are happier than I am( ha ha) as they really could not understand why it did not bother me not having one!  Still from a financial point of view it will pay for itself within a year.

My last week of leave next week is looking busy again but its a blessing to be able to sort some affairs out before having to fit them in around my hours.  At solicitors on Monday, at the care home for Mum's visit and now re-assessment meeting with new social worker on Tuesday and having Zack for the afternoon on Wednesday (eldest at Great Ormond Street for investigation into 'rocking during sleep' where he will be monitored whilst sleeping (induced) to ensure no underlying medical reasons.  It will be a delight to be awarded lots of cuddles and giggles for 'playing'.

I have mixed feelings about returning to work after a month off (its hard enough going back after 'a normal holiday' but no doubt will soon be back into the swing of things (will have extra cover at first so they are continuing to 'look after me'.

GP phoned yesterday to see how things are and I go back to her the day after my return to work so she can 'monitor' my 'mental state'!!!!!!!!  She should have met my Dad - practical and stoic - and whilst grieving myself, still feel quite able to bring comfort to others who are hurting due to hubby's passing.

Well, best go ramble with my other forum buddies.  Hope you and Mrs B have an enjoyable weekend.Jules x

Morning Brian

Am sure my neighbours think I burn the candle at both ends.  I love the early mornings (probably a throwback to not being allowed 'lay-ins' as I grew up) so am very often up by 5.30.  On the other hand I also like the late evening (could it be these are very peaceful times of days!!?) so apparently can manage well on short sleep hours.

Early trips to the launderette will,however, soon be a thing of the past as I have new washer/dryer coming next week (think my children are happier than I am( ha ha) as they really could not understand why it did not bother me not having one!  Still from a financial point of view it will pay for itself within a year.

My last week of leave next week is looking busy again but its a blessing to be able to sort some affairs out before having to fit them in around my hours.  At solicitors on Monday, at the care home for Mum's visit and now re-assessment meeting with new social worker on Tuesday and having Zack for the afternoon on Wednesday (eldest at Great Ormond Street for investigation into 'rocking during sleep' where he will be monitored whilst sleeping (induced) to ensure no underlying medical reasons.  It will be a delight to be awarded lots of cuddles and giggles for 'playing'.

I have mixed feelings about returning to work after a month off (its hard enough going back after 'a normal holiday' but no doubt will soon be back into the swing of things (will have extra cover at first so they are continuing to 'look after me'.

GP phoned yesterday to see how things are and I go back to her the day after my return to work so she can 'monitor' my 'mental state'!!!!!!!!  She should have met my Dad - practical and stoic - and whilst grieving myself, still feel quite able to bring comfort to others who are hurting due to hubby's passing.

Well, best go ramble with my other forum buddies.  Hope you and Mrs B have an enjoyable weekend.Jules x

Have a lovely day Jules won't you? Good luck on the drier - it will save you trips to the launderette = and then you won't know how you coped without the drier!!  Glad things are busy for you = I always think its best and keeps me from being idle. My mum is back in her old nursing home aat last after being re assessed by the hospital people half a dozen times - would she tell them off if she had her mind. She is still very  weak though - but at least we know she is safe.

Yea = it is funny returning to work after a break - First day - the worse day = thats the saying in work here!! But I am sure it will be fun to catch up with all your friends and hear whats been going on. We will be thinking of you these days as ever :-) and hope you keep safe and well. I like to wake up early and early morning I find peaceful and creative - its lovely  just to listen to the radio at that time and feel the darkness in the bedroom until I get up.

Well, things are not too bad personally, we are waiting for tests as has become our life routine! Work becons - Saturday is jolly busy in the Supermarket and we await a new boss - Yuk!!

You take care and all fond wishes

Steven xx

Hi Steven

I am a lot happier knowing my Mum is currently in the safety of her residential home.  Re-assessment Tuesday with new social worker (she has paid her own way until now but funds are limited - she has been a resident for over 2 yrs) so will see how that turns out.  Although she suffers will bi-polar mental illness she still has her 'marbles' and will certainly tell them what she thinks!  Sadly if they consider her to be able to cope with 'carers calling' they will transfer her out of residential home.  To be honest trying not to think of worst case scenario just nw but cannot bury head in the sand!

Have started to sort paperwork again (this could take up all my spare time for a while!!) but hoping that trip to solicitors tomorrow will take away some of the hard work.  My daughter is coming along so not facing things by myself (like having second opinion).

Popped into town today and have a few new treats for the garden birds so will put them up tomorrow. Gives me lots of pleasure watching them through the patio doors and the robins are particularly tame (have been known to sit on my chair in the summer). A little wren was very busy on the bird table this morning (sure sign is was a cold and frosty start).

Hope you had a good weekend.  Regards Jules x