Hi Jules,

Just wanted to check in under your new thread.  I'm glad to read (on your old thread) that your grandchildren are keeping your spirits up.  Am continuing to think of you, and I too wish that PM was sorted out.  Take care.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Your need to draw a line under the last thread and start a new one is completely understandable and a good idea and the title is so apt.

I did post a reply last night but unfortunately I was writing it at the same time as it was being closed off so I got an error message which I promptly blamed on this new site but an email from the moderators this morning and a helpful link explains everything. The moderators really do a great job here especially when they put up with a rant from the likes of me so, if you are reading Lucie thank you and my appologies again for venting.

To make it short I was told by my Mum that my youngest Neice, Hannah is in hospital and undergoing tests to try and find the cause of intense pain. I was initially annoyed with my sister for not telling me as she had already been in hospital 24hrs and the hospital itself is notorious for poor care so I am worried for her  especially when, at only 19yrs she is being given Morphine for the pain. When I know more I will let you know.

In the meantime I hope all of us can help you a little as you continue your journey.

Lots of love and hugs.

Garf. xx

Good its going okay for you Jules. 

Thinking of you all

xx

steven

Hi Jules,

I really admire the way you are coping and so pleased you are getting so much support from your family as I know how much this support means from when I lost my mother. How lovely that your two grandchildren have drawn pictures for grandad to take with him. Children never cease to amaze me. When I heard those words "You have cancer", one of the first things that flashed through my mind was that I might not see my three grandchildren grow up, or get married and start families of their own and that was a frightening prospect for me. I am also pleased that your mother is also offering you support.

My talk went off very well thank you and I had several people who shook my hand afterwards and thanked me. The people I gave my talk to were senior clinicians, doctors ect and at the end of my talk I thanked them for all the work they do behind the scenes, for what they do makes peoples cancer journey easier and helps acchieve a better outcome for the patient. I was able to tell them, I couldnt fault the service I recieved fron all levels of the N.H.S. during my treatment and will alway remember the laughs I had with the radiotherapy staff. Also made an interesting new contact for the local charity I belong to. I was rushed off my feet last night at the wood club as a lot of members paid up. Didnt take long to drop of to sleep last night as a result.

Glad you were helped yesterday regarding probate. When I was dealing with my mothers funeral, I hadnt realized how much there was to arrange. Just when I thought I had finished, something else needed doing. I could only take a couple of days off so trying to do the rest while working made it more difficult.

Take care of your self Jules as you start this new phase and journey of your life. Sending big hugs to you, Brian.

Hi Jules, just wanted to touch base and let you know that I'm thinking of you as you take this journey to its' conclusion on Monday. Having said that however, we know that Monday won't be the finish for you or your family, but just the beginning of the next phase. Right now you are busy doing things that need to be done and that occupies your mind and your time. That will continue after Monday as well, but gradually will phase out to the finish. Grieving is a process and even though you saw this coming at some level because of your husband's illness, that grieving will continue, although will be less intense as time goes on. Stay in touch on the forum and let us know how you are. We know that the months/years ahead will certainly be different for you as you adjust to a "new normal" way of life. My thoughts will be with you.

Hugs.

Lorraine

Steven, thank you for your kinds words and hope you and your wife are doing okay too.

Brian

I think the GP knew how much I would be having to attend to in these early days and that is why she 'awarded me' a month's bereavement leave (company has been very supportive all the way along and I could have had unpaid leave at any time but she felt I should not lose money!).  I saw her yesterday (she appears to have now taken me onto her patient list) and we chatted about hubby and how I am coping and I see her again the day after I return to work as she wants to ensure that I am OK - very appreciative of her outlook especially as I am sure she has much needier patients than me.

Its great that you can give talks to people working in the cancer field and am sure everyone benefits from it too.  Hopefully after being so busy with this and your Wood Club duties you will have a bit of 'me and Mrs B time'.

My in-laws finally managed to get over late last night (bad weather led to previous evening's flight being cancelled).  As yet am not sure if I will see them before the funeral on Monday.  I have more appointments today and they have to rely on the friend they are staying with for 'wheels' though we could manage to get together using public transport if needs be. We have, of course, had a few long chats on the phone.

Another mini mishap yesterday, eldest grandson suffered a nasty nosebleed and had to go to A&E (he had a knock at school the previous day and they thought he may have broken his nose!!  After a morning at the hospital waiting for 'bleed' to stop, he was examined - no break but he has been referred to ENT dept at another hospital (appointment within 5 days apparently) and may need cauterization procedure.Sent home with orders to keep him quiet and rested - have they met my 6yr old grandson

Well best do the rest of my mail before  getting off to next appointent(or interent link fails (weather playing havoc with connections).

Wishing you and Mrs B a peaceful day and weekend ahead.  Jules x

Hi Lorraine

Nice to hear from  you and hope your recover is continuing.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.  Feel very much as though I am a 'robot going through the motions' but am pleased to say that all necessary official notifications as regards late hubby are completed to the best of our ability.  The children continue to keep me company where  necessary (extra pair of ears/thoughs very  helpful).  Gp is happy I am managing and sees me again after I return to work.

Monday had seemed a long time away until now!  The celebration of his life is to be well attended and I will be seeing people who had 'known, worked with and loved him' over many years. No doubt more emotional fallout (only to be expected and managed of course). My six year old grandson summed it up beautifully 'A party for Grandad - why when he cannot be there?' - the wonderful innocence of childhood.  We have spent some time with him looking through old photo albums (and envisage doing it some more as it raised lots of laughs). 

The final goodbye is a hard day ahead but my heart is full of memories (42 years long) which I am hoping will carry me forward into a 'different normal'.  The forum has been and am pretty sure will remain part of my coping mechanism.

Sending peaceful thoughts for you and yours.  Jules x

Dear Jules ,I hope grandson goes on ok ,but trying to keep a 6 year  old quiet and still is unheard of ha ha ..I will be thinking of you on Monday and im sure lots of tears will be shed just let them flow ,after 40 plus years its to be expected so let them flow ..Thinking of you and big hugs sent ...Sueanne Xx

Hi there Jules,

I share Brian's admiration of you and the way you are coping with things up to now.  You mentioned how Monday seemed a long way off but now it is almost upon you I at least have some small understanding of the fear and nerves you are no doubt feeling as it gets nearer. 

I am off work on Monday so I will be at home trying to relax, and no doubt failing, but I will also be joining everyone here in thinking of you during that day and sending love and hugs to a very special person.

Lots of love to you Jules for Monday and always.

Garf. xxxxx

Hi Jules,

Like Brian, I admire the way you are coping and am pleased that your legal advice was straightforward. I will be thinking of you on Monday as you have the celebration of hubby's life.  I truly hope that your spirit continues to help you continue coping as well as you have, but rest assured that your forum buddies will always be here for you whatever the days may bring.  Take care.  Hope xx

Jules, thank you for your thoughtful message on my thread. It is so lovely of you to be thinking of others whilst going through so much yourself - you are a truly inspirational lady who many care for deeply. I will be thinking of you on Monday, and always x

Hi all

Will keep this short but cannot get my head round what I am about to say. Yesterday I was told that due to 'a mistake' between two departments when hubby's death confirmed/registered (is this not two separate 'clangers'). We can only hold a memorial service on Monday (and may not have hubby present ) with his final journey being delayed until legalities completed.DEVASTED Jules

Hi all

Will keep this short but cannot get my head round what I am about to say. Yesterday I was told that due to 'a mistake' between two departments when hubby's death confirmed/registered (is this not two separate 'clangers'). We can only hold a memorial service on Monday (and may not have hubby present ) with his final journey being delayed until legalities completed.DEVASTED Jules

Oh Jules,

My heart goes out to you that this shoud happen, especially at such at late stage which gives no chance of getting things sorted out due to the weekend. I really do feel for you and your family, Brian

Dear Jules,  I am so so sorry to read your latest post.  I can't imagine how you and your family must be feeling.  I'm lost for words as to why this should happen and how departments whose job it is to deal with registering deaths can make this blunder. I sincerely hope that there is some way to try and sort this out over the weekend. My heart goes out to you and your family.  Do let us know how you are when you are able.  Hope xx

Jules,

I am so sorry to hear of ths official blunder by derpartments who are supposed to be so proffessional. The impact on you and your family can be devastating. I too am surprised the problem didn't show itself before now. Take care of yourself hun and if necessary chat to your helpful GP, as in putting her in th picture. 

Sending all supportive hugs

Annabel. xx

Oh guys thank you for you kindness.  Wanted to share this with us a.s.a.p.  Our funeral director has been amazing and has just rung to say everything will appear as normal on Monday.  Due to a powercut (can you believe this) the curtains will not be able to be closed but everyone will be able to say their personal goodbyes however they wish. Tears of joy here (and relief).  This phone call arrived just as first snowflakes began to fall - he is watching over me still. Jules x

Oh Dear Jules I dont know what to say ,how dreadful for this to happen ,you have been coping so well too,  you must be devastated Jules I wondered if its anything to do with hubbys cancer Mesothelioma being an industrial illness I would like to explain what happened in our case as you know Tony had the same cancer because of this it can cause a few problems in the early days ,I so wish I could pm you to explain in detail .My heart goes out to you lovely lady ....Hugs sent ...Sueanne Xx

Oh Jules,

I am so pleased the problem has been resolved and well done for your funeral director for getting it sorted. You certainly didnt deserve to have that crop up at this late stage and must have been so disstressing both for you and your family. I just want to say I will be thinking of you all on Monday as you celebrate you dear Hubbies life. Take care brave lady, sending big hugs, Brian,

Hello Jules ,so glad things have been sorted and you can go ahead with arangements I can surely believe the tears of joy ..Hubby will always be with you in your heart and memory and I will be thinking of you and your family and know the feeling only too well Love and Hugs ...Sueanne Xx

Hi Sueanne

Yes all to do with mesothelioma and the doctor who confirmed death did not tick the box to refer to coronor!!

I mentioned this at the registration but was told it was all okay and walked away with certificates thus carrying on all the usual tasks. Needless to say the coronor was finally consulted when hubby's GP was checking paperwork for filing and found discrepancy which started the ball rolling.The rest as you would say is history but led to a very distressing day for me and the children. The necessary procedures will follow after Monday's celebration of hubby's life.  He will lay in chapel until such time as the law allows (but otherwise all remains as planned).   There will be time for investigations into the failures of the proffesionals but it is not now.

Have had children/grandchildren here  most of the day and tomorrow I will prepare the home for Monday's gathering before the service.  Feel so peaceful now - think I am all bawled out for a bit - and planning some quiet reflective time.  Thank you for being a reader/responder- so many good folk here.

Hugs returned Jules x