Hi Jules,

Just wanted to check in under your new thread.  I'm glad to read (on your old thread) that your grandchildren are keeping your spirits up.  Am continuing to think of you, and I too wish that PM was sorted out.  Take care.  Hope x

Good morning Jules,

Your need to draw a line under the last thread and start a new one is completely understandable and a good idea and the title is so apt.

I did post a reply last night but unfortunately I was writing it at the same time as it was being closed off so I got an error message which I promptly blamed on this new site but an email from the moderators this morning and a helpful link explains everything. The moderators really do a great job here especially when they put up with a rant from the likes of me so, if you are reading Lucie thank you and my appologies again for venting.

To make it short I was told by my Mum that my youngest Neice, Hannah is in hospital and undergoing tests to try and find the cause of intense pain. I was initially annoyed with my sister for not telling me as she had already been in hospital 24hrs and the hospital itself is notorious for poor care so I am worried for her  especially when, at only 19yrs she is being given Morphine for the pain. When I know more I will let you know.

In the meantime I hope all of us can help you a little as you continue your journey.

Lots of love and hugs.

Garf. xx

Hi Jules,  I totally agree with Tonic and wanted to add that I hope you get on OK with the legal representative today as well.  Take care.  Hope xx

Hi Jules,

Hope you had a productive visit with the "legal eagle" today.  I also hope you can deal with someone who can understand what you are going through and helps as much as they can.

I'm afraid there is still no news on why  Hannah is so unwell.  She had a CT scan yesterday, one day later than they said she would, but the results came back clear which is a good thing but they are still no closer to finding out what is going on.  We are now doing the age old past time which is to "wait and see"!

Also just to let you know I took a half day today so I could be at home to receive a pre-arranged assessment phone call.  It is the first part in the next round of demon vanquishing after being reffered by the doctor.  I don't know how effective it will be but let's wait and see --- wait!  I've heard that somewhere before ;)

Thoughts are with you Jules, take care!

Garf. xx

Thank you for your kind words.  Definitely not amazing (sure my kids would vouch for this!!), just going through the motions day to day so make sure eerything is sorted out with the dignity my hubby deserved.

Today would have been his GP check up appointment and instead of him going, his GP has asked for me to go in so she can 'keep an eye on his widow'.  Have arranged a cuppa with my bingo pal afterwards as suspect I might be a bit fragile!

Hope all is going okay in your own family.  Regards Jules x

Morning Hope

Have not been so busy in a long time!  Most of the official notifications are in place and have gone pretty smoothly.  Legal advice appointment pretty straightforward to and has lead to a couple of other lines to follow and also have an appointment with independent solicitor later in the month before making final choices as regards applying for Probate. Even in the legal world it would appear its good to make comparisons!!!!  My daughter has been my second pair of ears and little Zack and older brother keeping us smiling. 

Hope all good with you and the family.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Hi Garf

It must be confusing and worrying in equal measure (never mind frustrating) as regards Hannah's symptoms. Good news that the CT scan showed nothing untoward but do hope they can get to the bottom of things soon for her sake as well as her loved ones.

Hope your telephone call assessment is the start of something positive for you in dealing with those pesky demons - you deserve to be able to enjoy life without them poking their noses in.Thinking 'it will be effective' is a first step.  Let me know how you progress my forum buddy.

Free legal advice representative arranged by hubby's bank spent over an hour chatting to us and guiding us the requirements of going through Probate plus the options available to us.  Very interesting and helpful and have a couple of other bits to sort out as regards notifications as well as enquiring about ongoing benefits for me (another long phone call booked with DWP this afternoon!!). We have a further solicitor to 'check out' towards end of the month and then decisions to be made as to the best way for us to proceed (lucky to have two 'on the ball' kids and their other halves.

Lump in the throat moment this morning as I had to empty the car (still had his fishing gear in from his last outing) as its off to be valetted this weekend and then we can arrange sale (useful information we were given yesterday too).

Have also been asked to go on a couple of mini breaks in April (one with each of the children) and work has granted my holiday dates so booking can be completed.  It will do all of us good to have these to look forward to and be a mini step forwards before arranging to holiday on my own (if my Mum could do this as 82 am sure I should follow her lead).

The Isle of Man three should have arrived on the mainland last night and are staying with friends until the funeral on Monday but hoping we can catch up before then (we have had lenghty conversations on the phone). Planning to take the 'dignity' my hubby showed in this respect forward as this would be his wish and they deserve to follow their own dreams in their retirement.

Well, thats a lot of rambling for one morning.  Have a good day.  Hugs Jules x

Good its going okay for you Jules. 

Thinking of you all

xx

steven

Hi Jules,

I really admire the way you are coping and so pleased you are getting so much support from your family as I know how much this support means from when I lost my mother. How lovely that your two grandchildren have drawn pictures for grandad to take with him. Children never cease to amaze me. When I heard those words "You have cancer", one of the first things that flashed through my mind was that I might not see my three grandchildren grow up, or get married and start families of their own and that was a frightening prospect for me. I am also pleased that your mother is also offering you support.

My talk went off very well thank you and I had several people who shook my hand afterwards and thanked me. The people I gave my talk to were senior clinicians, doctors ect and at the end of my talk I thanked them for all the work they do behind the scenes, for what they do makes peoples cancer journey easier and helps acchieve a better outcome for the patient. I was able to tell them, I couldnt fault the service I recieved fron all levels of the N.H.S. during my treatment and will alway remember the laughs I had with the radiotherapy staff. Also made an interesting new contact for the local charity I belong to. I was rushed off my feet last night at the wood club as a lot of members paid up. Didnt take long to drop of to sleep last night as a result.

Glad you were helped yesterday regarding probate. When I was dealing with my mothers funeral, I hadnt realized how much there was to arrange. Just when I thought I had finished, something else needed doing. I could only take a couple of days off so trying to do the rest while working made it more difficult.

Take care of your self Jules as you start this new phase and journey of your life. Sending big hugs to you, Brian.

Hi Jules, just wanted to touch base and let you know that I'm thinking of you as you take this journey to its' conclusion on Monday. Having said that however, we know that Monday won't be the finish for you or your family, but just the beginning of the next phase. Right now you are busy doing things that need to be done and that occupies your mind and your time. That will continue after Monday as well, but gradually will phase out to the finish. Grieving is a process and even though you saw this coming at some level because of your husband's illness, that grieving will continue, although will be less intense as time goes on. Stay in touch on the forum and let us know how you are. We know that the months/years ahead will certainly be different for you as you adjust to a "new normal" way of life. My thoughts will be with you.

Hugs.

Lorraine

Steven, thank you for your kinds words and hope you and your wife are doing okay too.

Brian

I think the GP knew how much I would be having to attend to in these early days and that is why she 'awarded me' a month's bereavement leave (company has been very supportive all the way along and I could have had unpaid leave at any time but she felt I should not lose money!).  I saw her yesterday (she appears to have now taken me onto her patient list) and we chatted about hubby and how I am coping and I see her again the day after I return to work as she wants to ensure that I am OK - very appreciative of her outlook especially as I am sure she has much needier patients than me.

Its great that you can give talks to people working in the cancer field and am sure everyone benefits from it too.  Hopefully after being so busy with this and your Wood Club duties you will have a bit of 'me and Mrs B time'.

My in-laws finally managed to get over late last night (bad weather led to previous evening's flight being cancelled).  As yet am not sure if I will see them before the funeral on Monday.  I have more appointments today and they have to rely on the friend they are staying with for 'wheels' though we could manage to get together using public transport if needs be. We have, of course, had a few long chats on the phone.

Another mini mishap yesterday, eldest grandson suffered a nasty nosebleed and had to go to A&E (he had a knock at school the previous day and they thought he may have broken his nose!!  After a morning at the hospital waiting for 'bleed' to stop, he was examined - no break but he has been referred to ENT dept at another hospital (appointment within 5 days apparently) and may need cauterization procedure.Sent home with orders to keep him quiet and rested - have they met my 6yr old grandson

Well best do the rest of my mail before  getting off to next appointent(or interent link fails (weather playing havoc with connections).

Wishing you and Mrs B a peaceful day and weekend ahead.  Jules x

Hi Lorraine

Nice to hear from  you and hope your recover is continuing.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.  Feel very much as though I am a 'robot going through the motions' but am pleased to say that all necessary official notifications as regards late hubby are completed to the best of our ability.  The children continue to keep me company where  necessary (extra pair of ears/thoughs very  helpful).  Gp is happy I am managing and sees me again after I return to work.

Monday had seemed a long time away until now!  The celebration of his life is to be well attended and I will be seeing people who had 'known, worked with and loved him' over many years. No doubt more emotional fallout (only to be expected and managed of course). My six year old grandson summed it up beautifully 'A party for Grandad - why when he cannot be there?' - the wonderful innocence of childhood.  We have spent some time with him looking through old photo albums (and envisage doing it some more as it raised lots of laughs). 

The final goodbye is a hard day ahead but my heart is full of memories (42 years long) which I am hoping will carry me forward into a 'different normal'.  The forum has been and am pretty sure will remain part of my coping mechanism.

Sending peaceful thoughts for you and yours.  Jules x

Hi Lorraine

Nice to hear from  you and hope your recover is continuing.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.  Feel very much as though I am a 'robot going through the motions' but am pleased to say that all necessary official notifications as regards late hubby are completed to the best of our ability.  The children continue to keep me company where  necessary (extra pair of ears/thoughs very  helpful).  Gp is happy I am managing and sees me again after I return to work.

Monday had seemed a long time away until now!  The celebration of his life is to be well attended and I will be seeing people who had 'known, worked with and loved him' over many years. No doubt more emotional fallout (only to be expected and managed of course). My six year old grandson summed it up beautifully 'A party for Grandad - why when he cannot be there?' - the wonderful innocence of childhood.  We have spent some time with him looking through old photo albums (and envisage doing it some more as it raised lots of laughs). 

The final goodbye is a hard day ahead but my heart is full of memories (42 years long) which I am hoping will carry me forward into a 'different normal'.  The forum has been and am pretty sure will remain part of my coping mechanism.

Sending peaceful thoughts for you and yours.  Jules x

Dear Jules ,I hope grandson goes on ok ,but trying to keep a 6 year  old quiet and still is unheard of ha ha ..I will be thinking of you on Monday and im sure lots of tears will be shed just let them flow ,after 40 plus years its to be expected so let them flow ..Thinking of you and big hugs sent ...Sueanne Xx

Hi there Jules,

I share Brian's admiration of you and the way you are coping with things up to now.  You mentioned how Monday seemed a long way off but now it is almost upon you I at least have some small understanding of the fear and nerves you are no doubt feeling as it gets nearer. 

I am off work on Monday so I will be at home trying to relax, and no doubt failing, but I will also be joining everyone here in thinking of you during that day and sending love and hugs to a very special person.

Lots of love to you Jules for Monday and always.

Garf. xxxxx

Hope you soon have improving news on Hannah, Garf and thanks for your  kind words.Grieving is taking various turns as you would expect but family being mutually supportive and we will journey through the ups and downs together.  Coping mechanism seems to include good food and treats accompanied by great friends and family and continued support of my forum buddies, not forgetting the joy and laughter that the little ones bring when they are visiting.  Have bought eldest a new 'Spiderman quilt cover as a surprise for his over-nighter *suspect the kinder egg will get a better reception ha ha.

Will take the warm words of the forum with me as I 'manage Monday'.  Take care and make the most of your day off.  Hugs Jules x