Poppy - I’m so sorry to read this.  No one should have to go through that. I honestly don’t know what to say. His behaviour is inexcusable. But sending you a hug xx

How he acted is deplorable probably totally out of character but he hurt you very badly so now you only have 2 choices either to forgive and forget or move on without him ,I don't think there's an in between ,if you know in your heart and head that you could never get over this betrayal then there's your answer ,neither choice is going to be easy ,do what's best for you not him ,he messed up big time now he has to pay the price .

Hi Poppy,

A Very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear about what has happened in your relationship. A cancer diagnosis affects everyone in the household and your predicament is not all that unusual. Many partners just don't know how to cope and you can find yourself in a very hurtful situation.

You have obviously known your husband for quite some time and it sounds as if his reactions were out of character.  I don't suppose that you'll ever discover why he did what he did, but he obviously regrets it now. Whether or not to reconcile is really up to you. Do you feel that he genuinely regrets what he did and is he really prepared to mend his ways? You might find that it would help you both to talk to a counsellor before reaching a final decision. Maggies Centres are dotted throughout the country and they offer free counselling, which I have found very helpful in the past. If you don't have one of  these nearby, there are other Cancer Charities, that offer a similar service. These come under several different names. Ask your care team for advice.

There are no guarantees in this world. A reconciliation could go either way. Maybe it's worth trying to mend broken fences, before giving up altogether? Coping with a cancer diagnosis on your own is really hard to do. You do need the support of loved ones and if you are both prepared to put in the work, you may well repair your marriage. If you try and fail, you will be no worse off than you are at present, as you will still have the chance to walk away.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. I sincerely hope that it all works out for you. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I Carnot answer that I’m in the same place as you I have 5 kids and 10 grandkids not allowed to see them same as my family have no friends they’ve isolated me, all I keep thinking is you get cancer and everyone is cruel and nasty. If your guy wasn’t there for you at the start you got through this on your own he’s not worth it poppy, he can’t of been worried he had another women dump himxx

I don't understand it either poppy I have 5 kids and a big family and they have made me feel like I have a contagious disease, and they will only speak to me if I do what they say I'm nearly 64 still don't have anywhere to live properly but they all have there own houses, 2yrs ago me and my 2 dogs was living in a derelict summer caravan with mould. Council didn't want to know they wanted me to get rid of dogs and put me in a bedsit. I had to take caravan wardrobe doors of because the flooring was unsafe, what got me was why would your kids call you a freak, I feel so dead inside if I can't trust my kids I don't trust people can't deal with lies so poppy do you really trust your husband thinks about itxx

I’m sorry that you are having such an emotional time . You must stay strong and think about yourself and it’s very hard to do that sometimes . 
take some time for yourself and focus on you and how strong you have had to be x 

I have been strong but nothing changes,how are you getting on thank you poppy x