Hi Poppy,

A Very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear about what has happened in your relationship. A cancer diagnosis affects everyone in the household and your predicament is not all that unusual. Many partners just don't know how to cope and you can find yourself in a very hurtful situation.

You have obviously known your husband for quite some time and it sounds as if his reactions were out of character.  I don't suppose that you'll ever discover why he did what he did, but he obviously regrets it now. Whether or not to reconcile is really up to you. Do you feel that he genuinely regrets what he did and is he really prepared to mend his ways? You might find that it would help you both to talk to a counsellor before reaching a final decision. Maggies Centres are dotted throughout the country and they offer free counselling, which I have found very helpful in the past. If you don't have one of  these nearby, there are other Cancer Charities, that offer a similar service. These come under several different names. Ask your care team for advice.

There are no guarantees in this world. A reconciliation could go either way. Maybe it's worth trying to mend broken fences, before giving up altogether? Coping with a cancer diagnosis on your own is really hard to do. You do need the support of loved ones and if you are both prepared to put in the work, you may well repair your marriage. If you try and fail, you will be no worse off than you are at present, as you will still have the chance to walk away.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. I sincerely hope that it all works out for you. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Poppy,

A Very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear about what has happened in your relationship. A cancer diagnosis affects everyone in the household and your predicament is not all that unusual. Many partners just don't know how to cope and you can find yourself in a very hurtful situation.

You have obviously known your husband for quite some time and it sounds as if his reactions were out of character.  I don't suppose that you'll ever discover why he did what he did, but he obviously regrets it now. Whether or not to reconcile is really up to you. Do you feel that he genuinely regrets what he did and is he really prepared to mend his ways? You might find that it would help you both to talk to a counsellor before reaching a final decision. Maggies Centres are dotted throughout the country and they offer free counselling, which I have found very helpful in the past. If you don't have one of  these nearby, there are other Cancer Charities, that offer a similar service. These come under several different names. Ask your care team for advice.

There are no guarantees in this world. A reconciliation could go either way. Maybe it's worth trying to mend broken fences, before giving up altogether? Coping with a cancer diagnosis on your own is really hard to do. You do need the support of loved ones and if you are both prepared to put in the work, you may well repair your marriage. If you try and fail, you will be no worse off than you are at present, as you will still have the chance to walk away.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. I sincerely hope that it all works out for you. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx