GP is ringing her tomorrow morning....letter just says he needs to discuss some test results with her. Bless her she says she is starting to get breathless again, I hope it isnt the fluid building up again. Mind you chances are it is I suppose.

Jacci

Hi

Have just caught up with your thread (internet access has been up and down).  Wish you and your Mum all the very best for her next appointment/discussion with the doc. and hope she can have a peaceful Christmas and be kept pain free.  (My hubby has cancer of the lung membranes  and I am aware of the breathlessness /pain problems that your Mum will be experiencing).  Do hope she can give her doc permission to discuss things with you which may make it easier for you to help her through any discussions that take place.  I usually go with my hubby for his hospital appointments (he knows only too well what is going on as he wanted to know right from the beginning(but does not find it easy to talk about from a very emotional point of view - diagnosis was nearly two years ago now and he has palliative care involving pain relief/regularly check ups)  as he prefers not to discuss things more than is necessary.  The only thing I would say is to take a notepad/pen both with the questions you/your Mum may have and also to jot down anything the doc may say so that you can refer to it afterwards (I find it helpful as very often its hard to take it all in at the time).  The forum is a very supportive place and its a good place to offload anytime you need to share your thoughts/emotions.

Take care.  Jules54

Hi Jacci,

Sounds like  you are doing really well in the way you have explained things to your Mum, it is also good that she remains positive as I'm sure that helps.  It must be so difficult accepting that you need care with everything, but little by little I know your Mum will accept the care she needs from the carers.  I really hope social services provide you with good care and I hope your few days offer will give you time to recharge your batteries.  Take care.  Hope x

I know what you feel my brother was aso suffering from Lung Cancer and it makes me weak to see him sufferring fro series of chemotherapy. He is now admitted at Basavatarakam Indo American Cancer Hospital & Research Institute in India. I don't know what happen to him he is not even smoking but he acquire Lung Cancer. I am really hoping for his fast recovery. Really Cancer is a Traitor illness!

Hello Monica, yes cancer is evil and random, it just seems to strike wherever it wants. Im so sorry to hear about your brother, please come and have a chat on here as I have found it really helps.this situation we are in is far from easy.

Well Mum is so so much better! She looks normal, is acting normal, the chesty cough has gone and she cannot wait to come home! Honestly to look at her now you wouldnt know she was ill!! The meds obviously affected her big time. I just hope that she can stay at this stage for some time, she is so positive now as well, bless her she is a very strong woman which is why when she was so weak last week it was such a worry..I think she will be home tomorrow or Thursday and I have decided after a chat with hubby I will stay one night in the week and one night at the weekend and obviously play it by ear.

I am still in my bed.....Booking these few days off was one of my better ideas!!

Well take care everyone and thanks again so much for your support.

Jacci xxx

Hi  Jacci

Glad you are able to manage that much needed lie-in/rest.  It must help enormously to have seen your Mum in better spirits and do hope she can maintain this and get home this week.  If nothing else she will probably be far happier in her own bed.  Also sounds like you have a good plan for your visiting time and am sure she will really appreciate it.  Its all a case of taking things as they come and coping the best we can given the circumstances and the forum helps us all along the road we are travelling.  Sending kind thoughts and hugs for a peaceful week.  Jules xx

Well Mum is hopefully going home on Thursday, I really hope so. She had a bit of pain yesterday, they gave her a small dose of oxynorm and it did work, hopefully the small dose wont give her the awful side effects.She is now her normal self mentally and is talking very matter of fact about the cancer, she had a couple of friends in yesterday and they asked her how she was and she just said I had fluid on my lung, then it collapsed and Drs say I have cancer.

She is hoping for a miracle  which is fine as it keeps her going, she is a very strong individual and wont give up without a fight bless her.

I have a very dear old friend coming round today for lunch which will be fab and then off to Mum tonight. It is much easier dealing with this when I dont have to go to work I must admit, this break has done me the world of good.

Well take care all,

Jacci xx

Hi Jacci

Good to read your update and to hear that your Mum may soon be home.  She sounds as though she is regaining her strength (mentally and physically) and hopefully her medications can keep her comfortable as this makes life a little easier to deal with.

Hope you have a lovely lunch with your friend and the break definitely helps regain your own cope-ability (think I made up this word).  Wishing you and the family all the best both now and for when  Mum returns home.  Virtual hugs and peaceful thoughts sent your way.  Jules xx

Hi jacci

I'm sorry I've not kept up with whats been going on

With you and your mum.

It's really good news that's she might be home Thursday

I will have my fingers and toes crossed all goes well

And the medication she is on now keeps your mum

Comfortable as possible, much love to you, your mum,

And family xxxx

Hi jacci

Was thinking about you, and thought I'd check

To see how things are . How is your mum doing?

How are you coping jacci? I hoe your mum made

It home yesterday and everything is in place for

Carers to come in xx takecare Hun

Hello Jacci, have been thinking of you and wondering how you and your Mum are doing?  Hope x

Hi all, I havent been on here for a while as Mum came out Friday 24th Jan and I have been staying with her.

She has dramatically gone downhill since she has come home...very breathless and in a lot of pain in her upper back. She is supposed to be having carers coming out 3 times a day and they are coming once, I must have rung 20 different depts of this , that and the other and they all tell me to call another dept to sort it out so I have left a letter for the district nurses asking them to either sort it or contact the correct dept to sort it.Im wondering if the fact that I have now come home will speed things up.  Hospice nurse came around, she was lovely but we had to talk about things like putting Mums affairs in order so it was a very emotional visit.

Mum now seems to be getting confused again I have been going through her pain killing medication with her ever since she came home and she just cant do it now, she has just rung me asking how to use her home phone which was the phone she used to call me...I feel like the lowest of the low having left her.I can only hope and pray that when the district nurses come round tomorrow morning they notice the deterioration since Friday and do something.I have written her out a note with  timings and doses on for the painkiller but I dont know how she will get on, I was going  to go back Weds to stay the night and do shopping and that sort of thing but may well go back tomorrow if she cant cope.Its very unfortunate but my work have not been at all helpful, I asked for a week off compassionate leave, as that is what mac nurse and gp told me to do, which is for death or serious illness of a close relative...guess what Mum doesnt qualify for serious illness would you believe, I must admit I got so so cross but my gp told me to self certify for a week...I have worked for my company for 10 years and have one of the lowest sickness records in my 100 strong dept!I have not felt stress like this since my brother died suddenly 9 years ago but am back to work Tuesday although how I will manage I really dont know.

I feel I am at the end of my tether now but hopefully will have a good sleep..at Mums I have been sleeping on an inch thick mattress on the floor! Mum doesnt know the timescale...on notes hospital has said weeks/shortmonths...does anyone know what short months could mean?

I cannot believe the difference a few days has made in Ma.....I hate this all so much but then I know we all do dont we.

Take care all.

Jacci xxx

Hi all, I havent been on here for a while as Mum came out Friday 24th Jan and I have been staying with her.

She has dramatically gone downhill since she has come home...very breathless and in a lot of pain in her upper back. She is supposed to be having carers coming out 3 times a day and they are coming once, I must have rung 20 different depts of this , that and the other and they all tell me to call another dept to sort it out so I have left a letter for the district nurses asking them to either sort it or contact the correct dept to sort it.Im wondering if the fact that I have now come home will speed things up.  Hospice nurse came around, she was lovely but we had to talk about things like putting Mums affairs in order so it was a very emotional visit.

Mum now seems to be getting confused again I have been going through her pain killing medication with her ever since she came home and she just cant do it now, she has just rung me asking how to use her home phone which was the phone she used to call me...I feel like the lowest of the low having left her.I can only hope and pray that when the district nurses come round tomorrow morning they notice the deterioration since Friday and do something.I have written her out a note with  timings and doses on for the painkiller but I dont know how she will get on, I was going  to go back Weds to stay the night and do shopping and that sort of thing but may well go back tomorrow if she cant cope.Its very unfortunate but my work have not been at all helpful, I asked for a week off compassionate leave, as that is what mac nurse and gp told me to do, which is for death or serious illness of a close relative...guess what Mum doesnt qualify for serious illness would you believe, I must admit I got so so cross but my gp told me to self certify for a week...I have worked for my company for 10 years and have one of the lowest sickness records in my 100 strong dept!I have not felt stress like this since my brother died suddenly 9 years ago but am back to work Tuesday although how I will manage I really dont know.

I feel I am at the end of my tether now but hopefully will have a good sleep..at Mums I have been sleeping on an inch thick mattress on the floor! Mum doesnt know the timescale...on notes hospital has said weeks/shortmonths...does anyone know what short months could mean?

I cannot believe the difference a few days has made in Ma.....I hate this all so much but then I know we all do dont we.

Take care all.

Jacci xxx

Hi Jacci

Have been off forum myself for a few days.Am sure you are emotionally and physically spent at present.  Its very hard trying to cope with day to day life and it sounds as though because you have been available for your Mum the local services have been a bit slow to respond.  Have you spoken directly with your Mum'sGP as they should be able to home visit as a matter of ugency and they will put district/community nurse in place. My hubby's consultant did all this on our behalf so we feel very lucky as it helps relieve the pressure a little.  Sadly in some areas it seems its only constant calling that can make things happen and I do hope you can manage to have something in place soon as your Mum sounds like she needs more help now that she has become weaker and thus more confused.  As to your query about timings have not had to face this yet with hubby but six years ago when Dad was ill with cancer they first gave a timescale of 3 months (he was in hospital at this point), when it got to shortmonths they explained nothing was exact as people shut down when 'the time comes'. Dad told us he would make it more than they said as he wished to have his birthday at home plus his wedding anniversary.  In fact in celebrated both those in his own home, returned to the hospice 2 days after his birthday and told us he would be happy to go anytime.  His pain was controlled and the last time I saw him we were still able to laugh at his cheeky way with the staff. He died 10 days after his 85th birthday holding the hand of his 'special nurse' (his choices had been made and adhered to at the end).  Its one of those things that I am not sure any of us can know for sure the if's and whens are one of the most difficult to handle and even the experts can get it wrong.

Sending you virtual hugs and really hope you can get her 'carer's routine set up to work correctly which will in turn help your coping mechanism a little.  Takecare.Jules xx

Hi Jules, I hope you had a lovely break.

Im sitting in bed still just crying..will call Ma about 12 as carer and district nurse should have been by then. If Im this emotional I have probably done the right thing coming home maybe to let it all out today so Im strong for Ma when I go back..how I will work tomorrow I dont know but I will take that as it comes. Im very disappointed in my work so to be honest Im not too bothered about them, they can just get on with it...I have more urgent things to be thinking about. Im waiting for the district nurses to call me and will see what happens there.

Ma said to me a few days ago that everyone dies and she is no one special but as I said to her then she is special to me (even though we have had a wierd relationship prior to this. she never wanted to see me!!) she is my Ma and its all just too too horrid.

I need to sort out my own cancer check up today as Im late doing that with all that is going on so I know coming home was the right thing to do as I need to make sure Im still in remission and she hasnt called me yet this morning so maybe she is a bit less confused than she was last night, I really hope so.

Rambling again so will go now..again the support on here is wonderful, I dont think Id be coping if it wasnt for releasing stress on here...I really missed not having internet access at Mums!

Take care,

Jacci xx