Hi Jacci, so sorry to hear about your mum.

I lost my mum to lung cancer recently (small cell lung cancer with metastases) and it was extremely quick in the end when it spread to her brain.

My mum had metastases to lymph nodes, adrenal gland and brain.

Primary cancer from lungs had completely disappeared, which gave us hope, but when we realized that there were metastases, she lasted about 4 months.

At the very last appointment with the oncologist, I was told that she had days or weeks, she lasted exactly 12 days after the appointment, so the oncologist was correct. I was told that on my own, not in front of her.

I was preparing myself for the worst possible scenario for 2 years (since my mum was diagnosed), but it was a massive shock when it happened, as she was bedridden for 10 days in total.

I expected it to last a lot longer, luckily she wasn't in pain, but because of brain metastases she wasn't the same person anymore, so i am grateful that she didn't suffer for a long time, but she was only 56 years old, and I still cannot believe that she is not here anymore.

My advice to you is to spend as much as time as possible with your mum and do as much as you can, I thought I had at least a few more months with my mum, but unfortunately I didn't. There's still so many things I want to ask her and so many things I planned to do with her.....

I know exactly what you are going through and how horrible it is. Be strong and do as much as you can with your mum... I really hope she manages to go as long as possible with no pain and that you both spend as much as possible quality time together.

Sabinna

Thanks so much for your reply Sabrina and Im so sorry about your Mum, she was so young, this is an evil disease and the older I get the more I realise life is just so unfair..I am worried that Mum may have brain mets as she is having intermittent flickering in her eye and headaches, she has always been a person who doesnt get headaches before.

I am spending as much time with her as possible as at the moment that is all I can do for her.At the moment she does look well and its very difficult to really appreciate the fact that not only is she ill but is terminal.I am very annoyed with the hospital for just giving her a discharge letter which basically says she has stage 4 cancer, imagine how she would be feeling if she realised what that meant, I wish to God I didnt.She is having shoulder pain and arm pain and nausea but she has some anti sickness drugs from Dr and is just taking paracetomol and codeine for the pain so obviously the pain is extremely managable at the moment.

Anyway getting cross isnt going to change anything...Im determined to give her the best Xmas ever.Thanks again for your reply Sabrina and you take care.

Jacci x

Just had my Mother on the phone, very upset. She has had a letter from her Gp asking her to ring as they have received test results from the hospital and her Doctor needs to discuss them with her, now I know this cannot be the bronchoscopy as she only had that done on Weds so this must be the ct scan she had done end Nov which showed the lesion on her lung and lymph node mets.She is going to call gp on Monday.....Im worried as I am frightened he is going to tell her she has lung cancer over the phone.

She is seeing her Consultant on Jan 8th and I thought we had until then before she realised that she has cancerand that at least she would be told face to face with me with her,so frightened that she is now going to find out just  with a phone cal on her own....has anyone else had experience of this...If they would take any notice I would speak to gp first and explain the Jan appointment but I know they cant divulge anything to me anyway.

Thanks,

Jacci

Hi Jacci,

My mum has been diagnosed with lung cancer and I do not wish to alarm you but the ct scan results were available straight away.

It would be my understanding that they have got the results from the bronchoscope which she had done on Wednesday I know from when my mum had this done they had the results in a few days . I can see from your first post that they have staged the cancer  . I am sure no doctor would ever give results over the phone and I am sure if you would be able to phone the surgery and make and attend the appointment with her. I have been lucky that my mother who is 65 has not been told but I have her written consent that they are to tell me this is how I knew her results.

I will be thinking and praying for you on Monday and if there is anyway in which I can help you please let me know.

Thank you so much Hope, Im going to her today and will read the letter the gp has sent her, from what she said to me its asking her to ring the surgery to make a telephone surgery appt with her gp so he can call her regarding test results... , obviously I was hoping she wouldnt get results until Jan 8th at the hospital. she is totally in denial and I was planning on giving her her best Xmas ever whilst she is in this denial and then cope with what will be in the New Year.Well what will be will be suppose but if he tells her over the phone that is totally wrong.

Im sorry to hear about your  Mum Hope, how is she and also how are you...this isnt easy for anyone is it...

Take Care.

Jacci x,

GP is ringing her tomorrow morning....letter just says he needs to discuss some test results with her. Bless her she says she is starting to get breathless again, I hope it isnt the fluid building up again. Mind you chances are it is I suppose.

Jacci

Hi

Have just caught up with your thread (internet access has been up and down).  Wish you and your Mum all the very best for her next appointment/discussion with the doc. and hope she can have a peaceful Christmas and be kept pain free.  (My hubby has cancer of the lung membranes  and I am aware of the breathlessness /pain problems that your Mum will be experiencing).  Do hope she can give her doc permission to discuss things with you which may make it easier for you to help her through any discussions that take place.  I usually go with my hubby for his hospital appointments (he knows only too well what is going on as he wanted to know right from the beginning(but does not find it easy to talk about from a very emotional point of view - diagnosis was nearly two years ago now and he has palliative care involving pain relief/regularly check ups)  as he prefers not to discuss things more than is necessary.  The only thing I would say is to take a notepad/pen both with the questions you/your Mum may have and also to jot down anything the doc may say so that you can refer to it afterwards (I find it helpful as very often its hard to take it all in at the time).  The forum is a very supportive place and its a good place to offload anytime you need to share your thoughts/emotions.

Take care.  Jules54

Thanks so much Jules for your reply, fortunately the GP was about a urine test that the hospital should have sent to lab for testing...but they forgot to send it.Im sorry to hear about your hubby and I hope you had a peaceful Christmas too.

Mum deffo had the best Xmas ever, my son, fiancee and our little grandaughter aged 3 came for dinner and it was fab and we thoroughly spoilt Mum. She is having shoulder pain and has lost a fair bit of weight now, she looks shorter as well somehow.I have stopped smoking today and strangely enough Im the same age as she was when she stopped.I recently found out that my father who I hadnt seen since I was 3 died a few years ago from lung cancer so I obviously havent got a choice regarding smoking.

Well appointment is 8th Jan, the lung cancer nurse is lovely and rings Mum most days to see how she is. I will be on here when we get the full diagnosis but Im dreading that day. I totally agree with the notepad and pen idea, when I was going through my own journey I had to get my Hubby to write things down as my head was all over the place.

Take care everyone and I really hope 2014 is as kind as it can be to us all.

Jacci xx

Hi there, I'm new to this site but just noticed your post about your mum. My my passed away on Boxing day 2012. She had small cell lung cancer which had spread to her liver and kidneys. She went through chemo and felt great for a while but unfortunate the chemo had affected her liver. The cancer never grew in her lung. My mum didn't want to know timescales - I think she would've given up. You mum's nurses sound really good, it's something my mum didn't want as she was still in denial. I'm  glad you managed to give her a good Christmas. I know how it feel to dread appointments as my dad was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer in June 2013 and then with prostate cancer in August 2013. I think the waiting between appointments is worse. I hope you and your mum can have some nice quality time together. Wendy xx

Hi Jacci,

I just wanted to say hello and let you know I know how you feel. My Mum was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in March. She to gets very breathless and struggles walking up and down stairs. She has lost a lot of weight and looks like a shadow of the woman that she once was. After going through chemo and radiotherapy the Dr's have told her that there is no more treatment now and she is receiving palliative care. Although some days I feel like my heart is breaking, I try my hardest to spend quality time with my Mum and chat to her about anything else but Cancer. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through, please let me know how your Mum is getting on. Make sure you are looking after yourself.

Much Love

Helen xx