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Mother about to be diagnosed with Lung Cancer

jacci48
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Hello,

My mother is 82, gave up smoking 29 years ago and has had a bronchoscopy for suspected lung cancer. She had over 2 l fluid on her lung which has been drained and a ct scan has shown a 5.1cm lesion that has spread to 2 lymph nodes and because of this and the fluid (pleural effusion)  they are classing it as stage 4.

Once results are in there will be another mdt meeting and she is going to see Consultant (with me) on Jan 8th,it would be sooner but obviously Xmas and New Year are slowing things up. Now my mum didnt understand the terminology in her discharge note and she is in denial and tbh Im not prepared to burst her bubble.

I presume her only course of treament will be palliative care...I have had bone cancer mself so unfortunately have a bit of  an idea of his evil disease alhough I was very lucky and am in remission.

I will be her sole carer as my brother died 9 years ago and I want to be as aware of the situation and of things that will happen to her as possible.When we go for her Consultants meeting does anyone know how they will advise her that it is incurable...will they give her a full prognosis and possibly a time scale? I want to be as geared up as possible for her so I can be as helpful to her as I possibly can.I would love to think they are wrong because I adore my mum and although she is 82 Im not ready to lose her and never thought she would get lung cancer because she had stopped smoking so long ago.

The lung cancer nurses are being wonderful and calling her most days, the card they gave her says chest nurses but looking up the hospital I saw that they are lung cancer nurses so that sort of dashed any bit of hope I had.

Sorry to ramble on but thanks so much for reading..consultant thinks its T4N2M1A.

Thanks again,

Jacci

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Just wanted to say I hpe you and your hubby had a peaceful and pleasant Christmas and you enjoyed not cooking

    Much Love

    Helen xx

  • Offline in reply to hellsbells1102

    Thank you Wendy and Helen so much for your replies...this cancer is evil isnt it. All we can do is be there isnt it but if Im honest I am absolutely dreading Jan 8th. Take care both of you and if you ever need to chat Im here....wish to God we didnt have to be but we can support one another Im sure.

    Thanks again,

    Jacci xx

  • Offline in reply to jacci48

    To be honest, I didn't have any experience of cancer until last year. My mum had breast cancer 7 years ago but had the lump removed and 6 weeks of radiotherapy so never thought much about it. Every test, scan and appointment I would pray for good news even though I knew one day it wouldn't be. I really understand how much you will be dreading the 8th but from what I've seen so far on this site, there are so many supportive people here so you are never alone. I just don't understand why cures can't be found for all cancers and get rid of it once and for all. Take care and remember one of the most important things is to take care of yourself so you are strong enough for your mum. Wendy xx

  • Offline in reply to Angelcake

    Bless you Wendy, I will look after myself as much as I can...stopped the smoking so that is a major bonus. Obviously eating rubbish at the mo but next week Im going to make sure im eating healthily etc.I was very lucky when I had bone  cancer, just had tumour removed and have follow up xrays every six months. I would far rather mine came back as it would just be another op than watch my mum suffer but life is what it is isnt it.

    Take care Wendy and this site is a total godsend.

    Jacci xx

  • Offline in reply to jacci48

    Hi

    Just back from Christmas with my hubby'sfamily. Am glad to read that you had good responses from the forum community and hope your Mum can be kept comfortable until she has her appointment in early January. Internet link permitting am happy to listen any time you need/want to chat.  In the meantime wanted to wish you all a peaceful New Year.Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to hellsbells1102

    Thanks Helen

    Lovely few days enjoying family time and totally relaxing. Hubby now catching up on missed 'naps' before we go and do food shopping.  Some lovely memories made by us all and we were all spoilt rotten by my sister in law's  lovely cooking. This could be all themore special as she,her younger brother and his wife told us they are all planning on moving to the Isle of Man as soon as they can sell their properties and found one to buy.  Quite a shock for us as apparently they have been planning since last May and some of their friends new already.  Timing not great but hubby has taken it in his stride (so far) and apparently his older sister now feels vulnerable  with his being ill and we are lucky to have children/grandchildren who can be there for us in a crisis.

    Hope  you and the family managed a peaceful and stress free festive season.  Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Just had Mum on the phone she had 2l fluid drained from her lung 2 weeks ago but she can tell its back so is going to call an ambulance( hospital told her to do that if it came back). Im in bed with this earache/headache/vertigo thing that I get from time to time so cant get to her, she lives about 2 hours away. I will make sure I get to hospital tomorrow, she is being so strong bless her and I feel less than useless today but will feel heaps better tomorrow when I can see her.This journey is a rollercoaster isnt it and ours is just starting.....Sorry Im in a moaning mood....

    Take care all.

    Jacci xx

  • Offline in reply to jacci48

    Hi Jacci

    Sorry to hear you are under the weather.  Hard enough dealing with the rollercoaster journey with your Mum when you are well!! She sounds lovely and sensible and will be in the right place to get the help she needs (better than worrying about her at home!!). Give yourself some TLC and you will feel a little better when you visit tomorrow as hopefully she will too.  Please moan when you need to (this forum is great at listening) and come back and let us know how you are both doing.  Jules xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Thanks Jules...it does help being on here.

    Take care,

    Jacci x

  • Offline in reply to jacci48

    Hi and welcome to this wonderful forum

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mum,

    I do hope that the appointment on the 8 th

    Is good news, but if it isn't be sure you have

    Plenty of forum friends who will be here for you

    Anytime to listern . I was so glad to find this site

    When I was diagnoised with a rare bone cancer

    I don't know what I would of done without this

    Wonderful site. I hope your mum feels better soon .

    Hugs and here to chat . Takecare

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