Hi Jacci, so sorry to hear about your mum.

I lost my mum to lung cancer recently (small cell lung cancer with metastases) and it was extremely quick in the end when it spread to her brain.

My mum had metastases to lymph nodes, adrenal gland and brain.

Primary cancer from lungs had completely disappeared, which gave us hope, but when we realized that there were metastases, she lasted about 4 months.

At the very last appointment with the oncologist, I was told that she had days or weeks, she lasted exactly 12 days after the appointment, so the oncologist was correct. I was told that on my own, not in front of her.

I was preparing myself for the worst possible scenario for 2 years (since my mum was diagnosed), but it was a massive shock when it happened, as she was bedridden for 10 days in total.

I expected it to last a lot longer, luckily she wasn't in pain, but because of brain metastases she wasn't the same person anymore, so i am grateful that she didn't suffer for a long time, but she was only 56 years old, and I still cannot believe that she is not here anymore.

My advice to you is to spend as much as time as possible with your mum and do as much as you can, I thought I had at least a few more months with my mum, but unfortunately I didn't. There's still so many things I want to ask her and so many things I planned to do with her.....

I know exactly what you are going through and how horrible it is. Be strong and do as much as you can with your mum... I really hope she manages to go as long as possible with no pain and that you both spend as much as possible quality time together.

Sabinna

Hi Jacci, so sorry to hear about your mum.

I lost my mum to lung cancer recently (small cell lung cancer with metastases) and it was extremely quick in the end when it spread to her brain.

My mum had metastases to lymph nodes, adrenal gland and brain.

Primary cancer from lungs had completely disappeared, which gave us hope, but when we realized that there were metastases, she lasted about 4 months.

At the very last appointment with the oncologist, I was told that she had days or weeks, she lasted exactly 12 days after the appointment, so the oncologist was correct. I was told that on my own, not in front of her.

I was preparing myself for the worst possible scenario for 2 years (since my mum was diagnosed), but it was a massive shock when it happened, as she was bedridden for 10 days in total.

I expected it to last a lot longer, luckily she wasn't in pain, but because of brain metastases she wasn't the same person anymore, so i am grateful that she didn't suffer for a long time, but she was only 56 years old, and I still cannot believe that she is not here anymore.

My advice to you is to spend as much as time as possible with your mum and do as much as you can, I thought I had at least a few more months with my mum, but unfortunately I didn't. There's still so many things I want to ask her and so many things I planned to do with her.....

I know exactly what you are going through and how horrible it is. Be strong and do as much as you can with your mum... I really hope she manages to go as long as possible with no pain and that you both spend as much as possible quality time together.

Sabinna

Thanks so much for your reply Sabrina and Im so sorry about your Mum, she was so young, this is an evil disease and the older I get the more I realise life is just so unfair..I am worried that Mum may have brain mets as she is having intermittent flickering in her eye and headaches, she has always been a person who doesnt get headaches before.

I am spending as much time with her as possible as at the moment that is all I can do for her.At the moment she does look well and its very difficult to really appreciate the fact that not only is she ill but is terminal.I am very annoyed with the hospital for just giving her a discharge letter which basically says she has stage 4 cancer, imagine how she would be feeling if she realised what that meant, I wish to God I didnt.She is having shoulder pain and arm pain and nausea but she has some anti sickness drugs from Dr and is just taking paracetomol and codeine for the pain so obviously the pain is extremely managable at the moment.

Anyway getting cross isnt going to change anything...Im determined to give her the best Xmas ever.Thanks again for your reply Sabrina and you take care.

Jacci x