Oh gosh, this is so hard and much depends on context. For instance, i have a friend who just deals with everything on her own. She is very kick *** and her family are taken aback when she does ask for support! She also takes on too much and I am sure her husband wishes she'd slow down a bit. Could your husband not take time off during your radiotherapy? Was he terrified about money? With all due respect with both of you working full time with two children, no support and having already dealt with one cancer journey I'm not surprised you are both struggling. Could one/both of you give up work or go part-time for instance? If your husband is emotionally abusive then that's not on but perhaps it's just more that he's a bit clueless or can't cope with as much? Some men are good men but just don't know how to offer emotional support. It really sounds as if you need to prioritize your health and children and work on some lifestyle changes? I appreciate you're the one going through the medical stuff but from personal experience I also know that the family can really struggle too and kind of feel like their emotional state doesn't matter. Perhaps he's worried he'll go under and needs to detach a bit to be able to still support the family. It sounds like he has been really honest but I can appreciate it hurts. 

Oh gosh, this is so hard and much depends on context. For instance, i have a friend who just deals with everything on her own. She is very kick *** and her family are taken aback when she does ask for support! She also takes on too much and I am sure her husband wishes she'd slow down a bit. Could your husband not take time off during your radiotherapy? Was he terrified about money? With all due respect with both of you working full time with two children, no support and having already dealt with one cancer journey I'm not surprised you are both struggling. Could one/both of you give up work or go part-time for instance? If your husband is emotionally abusive then that's not on but perhaps it's just more that he's a bit clueless or can't cope with as much? Some men are good men but just don't know how to offer emotional support. It really sounds as if you need to prioritize your health and children and work on some lifestyle changes? I appreciate you're the one going through the medical stuff but from personal experience I also know that the family can really struggle too and kind of feel like their emotional state doesn't matter. Perhaps he's worried he'll go under and needs to detach a bit to be able to still support the family. It sounds like he has been really honest but I can appreciate it hurts. 

Thank you, you make some really good points, I guess hebus being honest but it still sucks.  You are right though, we need to make some changes as its all too much for everyone, I dont have a great tack record with asking for help so he probably isnt well versed in responding...I think as Kebb says, we probably need to talk , thank you forvtaking the time to help x

It does suck. I had a very serious health issue 2 years ago and my husband is lovely but he quite often says the wrong thing or just doesn't know how to emotionally support me which left us both feeling frustrated and upset. He prefers to be left alone when worried and is mostly logical and practical and lives in the moment whereas I am the opposite. We had to have some proper heart to hearts to really understand each other. Sending you a hug.