Hi All,
I'm just so angry. Delays due to covid and being seen to getting treatment have left me with stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer that has spread to both lungs and liver. It truly blindsided and devastated us all. I've been robbed of my future with my family because covid was deemed more important than cancer for many of us out there.
Anyway I buckled down, researched, mithered people and eventually had my first chemo session on 7 th Oct. And contracted covid and sepsis. So I'm hooked up in hospital struggling to breathe and am expecting to have to fight for my next session on 28 th . I'm so angry at people's stupidity and lack of respect for other people's lives just so they can meet up with friends/ family for a drink or whatever. Now I face my future being cut even shorter because of this wrecklessnes.
I know nobody can say or do anything to help me but it's stupid o'clock and I'm sitting struggling to breathe and I'm filled with so much anger I just needed a rant. I think in all honesty my anger is a good thing because it's pushing me forward when my body is at its lowest point.
I'm a warrior so I do well in a battle and although my battle has become so much more complicated and difficult I will survive.
I hope that the rest of you warriors get through this winter without covid. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
The hospital is so understaffed. There's currently 3 members of staff for 20 covid patients. Most of us are on drips that constantly need changing. Most have the runs and the staff are nothing short of amazing. But there's no equipment here. I'm supposed to have 2 drugs bags going in but there aren't enough drip stands for everyone. Half the monitors are broken, the blood pressure machine's are broken bar 1 on the ward and not everyone has a table. However we've pulled together as a community because most of us were rushed in by ambulance and had very little with us and as I live in Wales there are so many border restrictions that few of us have anyone to send stuff in for us. We don't know if or when we'll see our loved ones again and we're all so frightened. I wish that the people who believe covid isn't an issue for them could see and hear the distress and terror that we're living in and staff are working in.
Ok so my rant is complete but feel free to show this post to people out there so there can be a better understanding of the situation for people like us.
Take care my warrior friends. Stay strong and keep fighting.
Barb xx
