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How much ?

Kat42
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So hear I am again ....up all night, unable to sleep thinking how the hell did I get to this point?

I'm usually very strong but these nights are becoming regular and it's these nights that lead me away from any normality. 

A year and a half I was diagnosed with brain cancer grade 4 ...translation. ..limited life..! Of course I can't do things by half  gotta go straight to the big one.

Since this I've had a drain put in, have had a brain cyst and various complications. 

Now I'm not asking for pity I'm just questioning it...how did I get here?

There's worse off than me, I know , I've always been open minded about things...

I guess we all loose our way with things like this and I always see myself as "waiting on death row".

Perhaps I'll get out of this better or worse, I really don't know.

All I do know is that this night was a real long *** night 

 

Parents
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    Hey Kat42

    i wish I could answer that question and it’s one I often ask myself.  My mother always used to say you are never given anything you can’t handle, guess we special then ... maybe others wouldn’t handle what others have too.  Either way I believe in staying calm remain with the right mental attitude at any cost because we can and will deal with whatever is thrown our way.  In saying all that we also allowed to feel grumpy, upset or question things ... it’s our prerogative and it’s a way to vent which is healthy too .  I wonder if it would be worth you looking for nice smelling crystals you can burn in your bedroom or lounge (wherever you most restless) to fill the room with a calming smell.... I’m not sure they work but read lots of people saying they do.   Might be worth a try to help sleep and stay relaxed if nothing else.  I’m afraid your question will probably remain for some time... who knows if we will ever find the answer.

    Big hugs and hope it’s a good day for you

    JBee x

  • Offline in reply to JBee

    Thank you 

    I do all my meditation and have my crystals but sadly my mushy brain hinders my concentration sumwhat.

    The worst thing today is being quite isolated. ..but I'm a bouncy ball and I will have a better day tomorrow or the next day.

     

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