Natural enough question I suppose, but don’t really know how to answer it truthfully. I want to say ‘ since diagnosis and operation to remove most of my bowel, with further treatment and 3 months chemo to come, I feel as though I have forever changed both mentally and physically. I don’t ever think I will be the man I was pre-cancer.’ But I don’t, I say, ‘ oh not so bad thanks’ inwards I don’t know what prognosis I have, I haven’t the enthusiasm to look after my garden or install a new patio, or change my car. I think ‘what’s the point’. In truth I don’t really know how to deal with all this. However much time I have left I don’t think I should just be wasting it, but I feel tired, can’t lift very much and rely on others at the moment to cut the grass etc.
I also feel guilty. I was a widower and remarried this past January to a lovely lady. Now she’s faced with watching me go through chemo, helping me out, and instead of us living out our twilight years gracefully, Our horizons have been severely curtailed.
Anyway, rant over, now where’s my medicines! Sorry folks.